"Baby, can you please bring out the snacks?" Jungkook calls from the backyard.

"Just a second! My hands are dirty right now," I yell back.

I spent the night at Jungkook's last night so we could start preparing for the evening early enough. We've already prepared most of it and it's more than I thought. I thought this was just a simple get-together with the boys, but according to the preparations they put more effort into it. Jungkook said they do it every month at a different place and this month it is his turn. And of course, a perfectionist like Jungkook has to try extra hard.

The chairs and tables are already set up in the backyard, the grill is cleaned and needs to be started and I baked a cake so that we also have a dessert, which I put down to cool down. I'm preparing the chocolate sauce for the icing and moan when I taste it with a spoon. I hum happily to myself as I pour the sauce on the cake, but jump when two arms wrap around my waist from behind.

"What are you making?" the owner of the voice, who I thought was in the backyard right now, asks.

"Chocolate cake." I smile and turn around in his embrace after I have spread the sauce all over the cake.

He takes the spoon, with which I spread the sauce evenly on the cake, out of my hand and smears the rest of the sweetness over my lower lip. His head leans closer to mine and the next thing I feel is him starting to nibble the chocolate off my lips. My heart skips a beat as Jungkook's tongue slowly slides across my lower lip, tasting the chocolate on his tongue.

It's nothing sexual, he's not turned on because I can tell by now when he is, but it's still an intimate moment between us. With such small actions and gestures, he manages to show me how close his heart is to mine, that we can do everything together and that we don't have to force or suppress anything. That he still manages to take my breath away and make me want more is due to his intoxicating aura, because he is like a drug for me. The more I get to taste his lips, the more I long for them.

Finished licking the chocolate off my lips, Jungkook slowly pulls back and I lick my own, tasting the remainder of him. I'm greeted with a gentle look in Jungkook's eyes, which sparkle when he looks into mine. I still think it's crazy that even though it's not dark outside, his eyes can already bring so much light into my life and brighten my day. His lips, which are lifted up like two rosy pillows into a light smile, match his soft cheeks, which are puffed up by his smile and have the tiniest dimple on one side.

"How are you so beautiful?" I breathe, my senses slowly coming back into my body.

"You are the one to say that. You enchant me every time I see you." he smiles, the slightest blush decorating his cheeks and this is the first time I see him blushing.

"No, honestly. Even Jimin couldn't take his eyes off you," I wonder, thinking back to our hilarious lunch break a few weeks ago.

"Who is Jimin?"

"A colleague of mine," I answer, and he nods in understanding. "He wanted to see a picture of you and was disappointed I blew off a threesome."

I burst out laughing when Jungkook's face cringes in disgust and he pretends to throw up thinking about it. He shakes his head and gives himself a slap in the face as if he wants to beat the idea out of his brain and I laugh even more, my arms clutching my stomach at the sight as tears flow from my eyes.

"Please never introduce that Jimin guy to me," he shudders as I slowly come down from my laughter and he smiles softly at me.

We finish all the remaining tasks that we need for the evening and then head out into the backyard where we set up the chairs and tables to our liking. We laugh and talk while we do so and a warm feeling of preparing everything together with Jungkook fills me up. No matter what it is, as long as I do it with him it brings a smile to my face, and casually watching him at work brings me joy and I immediately feel better.

"What are you doing at your get-together? I think you don't gossip as we women do." I laugh. To be honest, I can't imagine anything under a guys' evening than men watching a soccer game and drinking beer, but knowing Jungkook, I'd say he's not that kind of guy.

"So you're gossiping?" Jungkook asks and I shrug my shoulder. "Well, we eat, drink, talk, and sing sometimes."

"You're gonna sing?" I gasp. It's been a long time since I heard his angelic voice. Jungkook loves to sing and I love to listen to him, but I haven't heard him sing that seriously since the bar.

"Yes, the boys fool around sometimes and my neighbors complain then, but it's mostly Tae and me who sing seriously."

"Taehyung can sing?" I ask, whereupon he nods his head, dragging two more chairs out of the small shack. "Wow. I want to hear his singing voice, he has a unique and very deep speaking voice. I'm sure that sounds good."

"Should I be jealous now?" a deep frown sits on his face as I walk over to him and it doesn't escape me that he purposely deepened his voice. Standing in front of him after taking a few steps, he looks down at me and I seem unable to read his emotions.

"I love your honey voice. When I listen to it, a feeling of protection, peace, and comfort overflows me. It feels like your voice caresses my skin with a feather and I could listen to you talking and singing endlessly." I cup his face. "Never change for another person, not even for me."

I'm not a person of words, Jungkook seems to be more likely to find the right words at the right time, but I just had to get that off my chest. I know that between Jungkook and me it is more than just a simple liking, but it seems that the three magical words can't run over my tongue. I don't want to rush anything, not scare him off or jump into something too fast. I want us to take our time to admit it at the right time, no matter how much I want to tell him that I love everything about him that I see and even more that I can't see.

My thumb strokes across his soft cheek and the frown slowly disappears from his face. His eyes jump back and forth between mine, finding their honesty and his pout develops into one of the most beautiful smiles he has ever given me. I mirror his actions and I straighten up on my tiptoes, our lips meeting and caressing each other slowly as I can feel all emotions flowing between us. It's crazy that I can tell him so much with just one kiss instead of using words and it's crazier that he understands me in everything I want to say.

"Jungkookie, are you in the backyard?" Hoseok's voice echoes from the workshop and Jungkook pulls back from our kiss with a sigh, not caring as the boys run through the back door over to us while he places his forehead against mine, his hand stroking my hair.

"Looks like we're cursed to be constantly interrupted," he whispers in my ear and I giggle, giving him one last peck before the boys can see it.

"Did we interrupt something?" Yoongi asks, now standing next to us as Jungkook securely wraps his arm around my waist to greet the boys.

"Kind of," Jungkook says and hisses as I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow and he clears his throat afterward. "I mean you're always welcome, of course."

The boys hug as a greeting one after the other first Jungkook then me and I get this warm feeling of being part of something again. A big smile lies on my lips, it feels as if we all have known each other for years and would meet every now and then. I can already say that I consider the boys as my own friends and I know they would do anything to help me if I had a problem. We didn't see each other much after Jungkook and I became official, only Taehyung and Hoseok stopped by the workshop a few times, but I see in their eyes that they accept me and that's something beautiful. Nora and Jungkook also get along perfectly. We have become like one big family. 

After giving everyone a hug, our grill master Hoseok tosses the steaks and sausages onto the grill plate, the heavenly smell of the meat filling our noses along with the sizzling of the fire. The sun is already beginning to set, the days are slowly getting longer and the summer is making itself felt through the heat. Where until a few weeks ago we had to sit outside with blankets, we have now replaced them with light clothes and whoever gets cold can simply stand by the fire that Jungkook has lit in the middle to create a cozy atmosphere.

Jungkook smiles at me as he hands me a plate filled with tasty and juicy meat so that I can finally fill my stomach, which has been screaming for food for hours. It's just our munching and humming as we eat, along with the crickets that have shown their presence that can be easily heard around us and the crackling of the fire that serves as light for us in the now dark time of day.

Everything is perfect, we have nice conversations, we eat and drink while laughing like hell. That Jungkook and his friends behave like brothers, that they don't hide anything from each other, and that they experience so much together, makes me so happy for him. He needs good people in his life who make him laugh, who are there for him when he needs them, and on whom he can always count. He always gives everything of himself, sometimes even more than he has to offer, and deserves people who would do exactly the same for him. And it makes my heart swell that Jungkook has found his friends after his difficult past, who have put him back on his feet again, even if they sometimes couldn't do much against his actions.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost flinch when Jungkook lays his arm around my shoulder and asks if everything is alright. I give him my most sincere smile and when I notice that everyone else is distracted with Hoseok's funny dances, I place a little kiss on Jungkook's lips before I get up to get the dessert from the fridge. When I come back from the workshop, I see that Yoongi has joined Hoseok and the sight of the two men swinging their arms and legs around themselves wildly, and without a care in the world, I have to pull myself together to not drop the cake from laughter.

Yoongi seemed to be the quietest of the group, always reluctant to talk, but always found the right statements, something like an older brother you ask for advice and who can give you wise guidance. But he could also be very savage at times. And to see him now dancing around so carefree and like a child with Hoseok is new for me. We all laugh so loud I'm sure the neighbors will complain this time too, but we don't care a bit. We have the fun of our lives, we don't think about tomorrow and we are young only once in our lives. We fool around, eat everything Jungkook and I had prepared and time goes by so fast I don't even realize that Seokjin is now on the ground because we are now playing a guessing game. Holding his nose with one hand and reaching through the hole with the other arm, he is waiting for us to guess what he wants to represent.

"Is this supposed to portray something dirty?" Yoongi asks and everyone snorts as they see the look in Seokjin's eyes.

"Pull yourself together Yoongi, or I'll pull something else off."

"I know, I know!" Taehyung raises his arm, shaking it impatiently as we watch him optimistically. "You're a drowning cow."

"No, you idiot. This is an elephant. I swear to God, this game is no fun with stupid people," Seokjin scolds, ranting non-stop and tears of laughter flow down our faces as we watch Seokjin rattle the words as if he were in a rap battle.

"I can't with you guys." I laugh, wiping the tears away from my eyes trying to take a deep breath to relieve the soreness in my stomach. I could really spend every weekend laughing and talking to the guys because it's just so much fun.

After everyone has recovered from their laughter, we all sit around the fire, now letting the soothing silence of the night sink in. No one says anything and when our eyes meet, a gentle smile is exchanged before everyone goes back to watch the fire crackle and appreciate each other's presence. Through all the fooling around everyone seems to get a little sleepy, which is intensified by the silence and the cozy atmosphere. Jungkook puts a blanket around my shoulders because the temperature outside is a bit cooler than I thought before he gets up and walks into the workshop. After a few minutes, during which we all sat quietly, he comes out of the workshop with a guitar in his hand.

I didn't know he owned a guitar, because I've never seen it anywhere before, but I'm not surprised that he can play it, because there seems to be nothing this man can't do. He's so talented that even when he does something for the first time he gets the hang of it and he can probably do it better than anyone else who has done the same thing for several years. He can sing, he can dance, he can draw. And that is why his friends keep praising him and asking for his help.

"I think it's time for some music now." he smiles as he sits down right across from me next to Hoseok this time and starts tuning his guitar. The boys and I sit upright, waiting for him to bless us with his soft voice.

His fingers begin to slide across the strings, delicately making the guitar audible to us. I don't know much about music except singing, but it has always amazed and fascinated me how people can play such beautiful and enchanting melodies with instruments, despite their simple movements. Jungkook shifts on his seat, looking for the right position before he starts with the actual song.

The notes of the song are soft and slow, creating the most calming sequence of sounds, resounding throughout the backyard. My body sways unknowingly and my eyes want to close to savor his voice, which rings out next, and switch off all my senses and nerves so that only my ears can experience it. But I refuse, because I want to see, feel, and hear all the emotions that Jungkook delivers to us with his voice and facial expressions.

I like being independent
Not so much of an investment
No one to tell me what to do

I like being by myself
Don't gotta entertain anybody else
No one to answer to

The lyrics glide like butter from his shining lips, so effortlessly flawless, without slipping and as soft as silk. I could listen to him forever, his voice soothes me, brings me an inner peace and flowers that blossom in my ears. I can't take my eyes off his form, he is so confident and yet so vulnerable as the words fall from his tongue and I have to admit they sting. They sting because they are true, because this song simply describes Jungkook. Being alone for years in a world where there are actually many people around you. Pretending that you don't mind being alone, pretending to be happy when you're not.

Maybe it feels good to be alone sometimes, not having to explain anything to anyone and being able to do what you want. But this leads to getting used to being by yourself, forgetting what it is like to be loved, to be appreciated. You forget what it is like to have someone who perhaps thinks more about you than you do. Although I have never heard this song before, I know, I see, that it has a meaning for Jungkook because as many emotions he puts into singing, we all get goosebumps formed by the melancholic sorrow that lies deep in his heart and that I have probably not yet managed to heal.

No matter how hard I try to erase the past and fill the present with new beautiful memories, it seems that the old wounds always manage to reappear so that I feel like Jungkook doesn't consider himself worthy. As if he is banished to never see the sunshine and to remain deep inside a dark, deserted and cold room. As if he had to freeze, despite the many blankets trying to keep his heart warm, hitting bottom where probably only those sleeping alone would be able to understand him.

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when it's cold
Got that young love even when we're old

Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

As I dedicate my full focus to the lyrics of the song and the pain in his features, I realize his desperation of searching for love. Love, which was probably shown to him in the wrong way and was beaten out of his mind with heavy blows. Being cheated on has left him with the craving for true love. He knows himself that what he felt for the girl who cheated on him was not true, so he never gave up looking for it. Maybe he is still searching for it, maybe he still doesn't know the true meaning of love.

But I can see that Jungkook, despite the wall of confidence he has built around himself as a protection, is a romantic deep inside. His innocence can be seen in his starry eyes, always present when he experiences something he truly values. The past years have left him appreciative even with the smallest gestures, like a child just coming to the playground for the first time. I can see that he is innocently searching for true love.

So if you're out there I swear to be good to you
But I'm done lookin' for my future someone
'Cause when the time is right
You'll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

I smile as his angelic voice brushes against my skin and sends a shiver down my spine. He has always sung cheerful songs or songs to tease me with, but this is the first time I hear such intense lyrics. I watch him, his inked fingers hitting the strings, his gaze gentle and only now I notice that I have unintentionally closed my eyes at one point. I ignore all other eyes that are focused on both of us as Jungkook's eyes soften, his dark orbs, sweet, like my favorite chocolate and his skin shining under the moonlight. His eyes meet mine as his soft and angelic voice sings the last lines of the song.

So if you're out there I swear to be good to you
But I'm done lookin' for my future someone
'Cause when the time is right
You'll be here, but for now
Dear someone, this is your love song

His lips form a shy smile and he glances for a split second at his hand with blushed cheeks, playing the last strings before he lays his fingers flat on them to finish the song completely. He presses his lips in a straight line and I recognize how his chest swells while he takes a deep breath and then lets out that breath shakily again. There is a slight change in his behavior, he is nervous and shy at the same time, something I have never seen before in him.

His eyes remain glued to mine, watching my reaction and desperately waiting for a sign and it is only now that realization hits me. I was so engrossed in his voice and the peace but also worries within me that I didn't realize that he made a small change in the lyrics of the song. A change that is so small yet so big in its meaning.

Because this song was meant for someone.

And that someone is me.