Finally, they reached Kœnigsmacker, where a bridge crossed the Moselle. However, both that town and the village of Malling to the east, plus everything to the west, was under Allied control, and American troops were everywhere.

Even before reaching the town, they began to see American Jeeps driving around. Eren stiffened in terror at first, but the soldiers were focused on wherever they were driving. Two men wearing wet hats and worn coats against the icy rain did not interest them.

Still, Levi worried about how Eren might react in a bigger town. Even the small communes they had passed through put him on edge.

"Perhaps it's best if you stayed outside of town," he whispered.

Eren hated the idea of splitting up, but he already felt intense anxiety. As another Jeep drove by, it seemed to roar in the answer for him.

They found some woods south of the town. Levi squeezed Eren's hand and told him, "Wait for me here." With no other words between them, he left.

Eren sat with his back against a tree. He pulled out a cigarette and decided to smoke so it would keep his mind away from the abyss waiting to swallow him up.

The rain gradually stopped, but the forest still dripped slowly. Eren watched as a rabbit came out and began to nibble. He did not move, looking at the animal, unsure what the thoughts in his head even were.

Blankness.

He forcefully kept his mind empty.

The alternative was the dark abyss.

* * *

Hours passed, and the sun began to sink. Eren had gone through three cigarettes and was right at the end of his fourth, sitting on the ground and looking at ants scurrying across the leaves. He was thinking about how all these soldiers in this war, regardless of their uniform, were like ants, scurrying about for the good of the colony without mourning the death of other ants.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He smashed out the cigarette and whipped up his gun. Being able to hear out of only one ear, he could not judge where the sound was coming from. He turned left, then right, searching the forest, trying to pinpoint the location he flinched, rubbed his deaf ear, wishing it would wake up, and because to hyperventilate in a million fears.

"You know, I could smell that damn cigarette from the bottom of the hill. How about not smoking when you're trying to hide?"

Eren relaxed when he saw Levi step out of the undergrowth. "What did you find?" he said, ignoring the chastising as he put away his gun.

"Allies control the Moselle from here to the German border. The bridge is heavily guarded. I doubt the 'shell-shocked mute' story will work with soldiers. Plus we'll be inspected. That British gun you have is problematic, as are my American trench knives, and then there's the German uniform in your bag. They might allow the weapons if I tell them we're with the French Resistance, but you'll have no choice but to leave that uniform behind."

Eren scowled, still not willing to give up that bit of his identity.

Levi took a seat beside Eren, brushing aside the leaves and the ants with them. "There is one other option. I was talking to a shopkeeper, who told me about a fisherman, whose son is willing to ferry us over in his boat. It'll look suspicious as hell if we're caught, but he sympathized with the story I gave him. He apparently had a Jewish friend who was sent to the labor camps."

"Then we have a way to cross," Eren said, looking solemnly out at the fog.

"It'll be tomorrow just before dawn, when the fog is thickest. We'll have to sleep in the woods for the night."

Eren let out a whine. "It's getting so cold."

Levi reached forward and rubbed his arm. "I know," he said in sympathy. "But the alternative is bringing you into a town full of anxious Americans who just went through a bloody battle and lost comrades to Germans. In other towns, I might risk it, but this one... they had the eyes of men who have seen hell. I'm not risking it."

Eren had to agree. As much as he dreaded the idea of sleeping on wet ground, he was still unsure how he would react around Americans, and a trigger-happy soldier who jumped at the sound of a rat... well, he had been there. He knew how bad it could be.

Levi rose to his feet. "I saw a hut on the edge of the woods."

"Hütte?" Eren asked. "Like a small building?" He was surprised that the English word was so similar to the German one.

"Yes, it's tiny, but it'll get us out of the rain." He stretched his hand out to Eren. "Come."

Eren looked down at that hand. Although it had all five fingers, a part of him feared that if he grabbed hold too hard, the whole hand may shatter apart. Then he saw how Levi's nails were still growing back after being ripped off by the Gestapo.

He instead pushed himself up, avoiding Levi's offered help.

Levi slowly pulled his hand back. Not even accepting help, huh? He looked down at his hand and saw the vestiges of damage. He frowned and wished he knew what he could do to help Eren.

They walked through the woods, and soon Eren realized there was a faint trail. Then, partially hidden between two rock croppings, he saw the little, round, stone shed. It looked ancient, green with moss, the stones rough-hewn and worn with a hundred winters. Thanks to the roof also being made of precisely placed stones, the structure stood upright through the changes of the times.

Inside was nothing more than a dirt floor and spiderwebs crisscrossing the ceiling. Levi picked up a fallen branch and went through knocking down the webs so Eren could enter without walking into them. However, it was so small, Eren had to hunch over to step through the arched opening.

There was no door, just the archway, but it was dry inside and protected from the icy wind. That was all that mattered.

Levi reached into his bag. "I have some potatoes, sausage, cheese, and a loaf of bread. We should probably eat the meat first. You need to build up your strength."

They sat, listening to the rain as it started up again, and ate in silence. They dared not start a fire. Eren kept rubbing his arms against the cold. Levi frowned; if he could warm up Eren without the poor man panicking, he would. Instead, he pulled out their blankets and wrapped one around Eren's shoulders.

While it was still daylight, Levi sat by the opening and pulled out a map. Eren finished his food, came over, took a seat close beside Levi, and looked at the lines on the paper.

"We're here," he said, pointing to the dot that marked Kœnigsmacker. "We want to avoid major cities, at least until we're out of contested areas."

"Contested?" Eren asked, unfamiliar with that word.

"Where the fighting is. If we keep south of Luxembourg City, we can stick to these small roads and cut through the Ardennes. It'll be rough, that's higher elevation, and with the weather getting cold, there's a chance of snow up in the hills..."

Eren butted in, "I thought we wanted to head to Luxemburg-Stadt to take a train to the coast."

"With what money? We'll have to work, save up. Learning how close the armies are, I'm less inclined to stay in Luxembourg for too long. Brussels might be safe, even for you, so long as you're cautious. Don't worry. One way or another, we'll find a port to sail to America."

"America," Eren said dreamily. "I dreamed of it while I sat in that wine cellar, sailing across the sea to freedom."

Levi smiled over at him. "Same for me. I don't know what we'll face once we get there, but we'll face it together."

He reached over and patted Eren's hand. To his delight, this time Eren gripped his fingers. Perhaps he felt safer here, hiding in this little hut.

"Then again," Levi sighed, haunted by brutal reality, "I don't know how safe America is for Germans."

"I thought they accepted all nationalities."

"Not right now. I read in a newspaper, they threw their Japanese citizens into concentration camps, grandmothers and children alike. I don't want that fate for you. Plus I doubt they're taking too many German refugees, not without extensive background checks, and if they looked into your background..." Levi shook his head and muttered, "We have to start being realistic. Going to America might not be an option until after the war."

Eren scowled. "Not an option for me, perhaps, but you could go on your own."

"I'm not leaving without you," Levi said firmly, refusing to even consider that.

"If it comes down to you sailing off to freedom and I'm stuck here, I want you to go."

"Eren..."

"Look!" he snapped. "I'm not letting you sacrifice your freedom for me again. If they aren't accepting German refugees..."

Levi suddenly grabbed Eren by the hair and yanked his face over to him. He had a sneer on his face as he whispered, "I... am not... leaving without you. You think you're determined? I am just as determined not to lose you, and I am older and more stubborn than you, takhshet."

Eren could not help but smile at hearing that pet name. "I know you are. Still, if the worst happens, I could always go back to Deutschland, change my name, and live there until it is safe." His eyes began to drift down. "I... I might want to."

"What?" Levi growled.

Eren's eyes flinched as he pursed his lips in sadness. "I miss home."

Levi's grip on his hair loosened as he pulled back. There was a sudden emotion change again, like Eren was going through one grief after another after another, layer after layer, digging deeper as years of silent suffering peeled away.

Just how much weighed on this young man's heart?

Now, a childlike longing filled his eyes, something fragile and scared, a boy lost in a foreign land, far away from home, with no mother or father, no family, now in a dark forest straight out of a nightmarish fairy tale.

"I miss Cuxhaven," he admitted softly, the German accent now thick in his voice. "That is why I wanted to go there earlier. I keep thinking about my family's house. It's still there, someone takes care of it, but ... will I ever make it back? What will happen to it when the payments no longer come?"

"When we get to America, we can figure that out. Maybe you can wire the money."

"To Deutschland?" he said with a scoff.

Levi had to admit, that was probably impossible so long as the war dragged on.

"I want to see it again. Just one more time. Does it still look the same? It is like a distant memory now, a bright one. Die hellste und beste Erinnerung." The brightest and best memory. Tears burst into Eren's eyes. He curled his legs up and buried his face into his knees. "Ich möchte nach Hause," he sobbed. "I wanna go home. Verdammt. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry."

Levi stroked his hair like comforting a small child. The emotional breakdown was surprising, but perhaps this was part of Eren's healing.

"We all miss home from time to time," Levi whispered. "I miss my house with Petra, my little broom shop, our garden... hell, sometimes I miss Paris. Not much of it, but walking around, seeing Notre Dame and la tour Eiffel... it's normal to miss such things."

Eren still sobbed softly, not even sure why he was crying. Where did this burst of nostalgia even come from? "Maybe... Maybe I can move back to Cuxhaven one day and live in my parents' house."

Levi hated that idea. Eren moving back to Germany instead of going to America with him? Screw that! Still he wanted to calm the young man down while he was working through this vulnerability.

"Would you prefer that?" Levi whispered. "Cuxhaven instead of New York?"

Eren's teary eyes gazed off. "Part of me would. I liked it there. It was quiet. I don't like big cities."

"I don't either. New York is just where the immigrants go, but we could move to somewhere else once we get to America," he said, hoping to pull Eren's dream back toward his own. "It's a huge country. We could go anywhere."

Eren stared blankly as the shadows of night began to conquer the forest. Even if there were fishing villages in America, he felt like nothing would be as lovely as his hometown.

Softly, Eren whispered, "I always figured that after the war was over, I'd move back and... I don't know," he admitted, and Eren chuckled at the ridiculousness of not having his own dream for the future. "I guess it was never really a plan. I have no idea what I could do for work. Just live there, avoid the world, hope no one bothers me. Maybe I'll become a fisherman, stay on my boat all day." His eyes turned to Levi. "But now, I want to be with you. Maybe you'd like to move to Cuxhaven with me?" he asked hopefully.

"I doubt it," Levi replied with a hint of bitterness.

Eren nodded, understanding why Levi might want to avoid Germany. "Perhaps I can keep it as a second home, travel back and forth, like how my father traveled between us and England." He scoffed and glared at the dark stones of the forest hut. "Like my father! Welch Ironie, nicht wahr?" So ironic, isn't it?

"No," Levi assured right away. "You will never be like him. He lied to you, abandoned you..."

"I lied to everyone," Eren suddenly yelled in a burst of rage, and his voice echoed through the forest. "I ran away, abandoned my men. No one knew the truth about me; only Jean and Armin knew even a little bit. How is that any different from my father hiding that he had another family?"

"For one, you're not lying to an innocent child. You withheld information about a personal issue—which was none of their damn business—because they would have you killed. Your father's secret might have cost him a marriage, but it wouldn't have gotten him killed. That's a huge difference."

"He was a Jew! That alone would have gotten him killed, but worse, he was a British Jew. He hid that part of him to stay alive, yet in the end, he didn't even care that my mother was also Jewish. He left us, abandoned us..." Eren again broke into sobs.

Levi hesitated to say anything about that. The whole experience with the Gestapo was something he would rather forget, but while he was physically tortured, Eren had been mentally traumatized.

What was more, that secret Levi had uncovered while going through Nicolo's SIS files on Eren—the fact that Eren's father was a British Jew—was now out in the open. Eren knew. The Gestapo knew.

What a blow this must be for a young man raised to be a Nazi!

"You haven't talked much about it yet," he said quietly. "Do you want to?"

Eren sniffled and shrugged. "There's not much to say. My father lied to me and my mother our whole lives. Not only did he have another family in England—I knew that much already—but he was born there... to Jewish parents."

"Does the race of his parents really make a difference?"

"Yes!" Eren snapped, as if such a question was insane. "I spent my whole life being told Jews are devils, a plague on civilization, the natural enemy of humans. I can look at you and say that none of that is true, but... but why can't I look at myself without feeling—what is the word?" he growled, frustrated by the language barrier. "Angewidert. Empört. Angeekelt. Worse than sick."

He sneered that he could not express himself, but Levi seemed to understand what he meant. Eren shook his head and pushed down his boiling frustration so he could continue.

"How can I look at my face, see my father looking back at me, and not hate it? I feel like ripping off my face so I don't have to see that bastard in the reflection. I'm constantly wondering which features are Jewish and which are Aryan, and I hate myself for feeling that way. I shouldn't... yet... yet I do."

He reached out, like he wanted to touch Levi's face, but could not bring himself to do it.

"I love you," Eren burst out. "I love your Jewish heritage. I love watching you, listening to you pray and sing... you being Jewish has never held back my love for you... so why can't I love myself? Why do I hate myself for being Jewish, and hate my father for doing this to me?"

Levi felt an ache in his heart, but it seemed like Eren really needed to rant about this, so he kept quiet. This was just another issue haunting his traumatized heart, a poison that needed to drain.

"My father lied to me, abandoned me, abandoned my mother, like he never cared about our existences from the beginning. I thought maybe he met that British woman while overseas but wanted to settle in with a proper German wife, but no! No! We were the mask he wore, his... Verkleidung... disguise. A fake story as he hid his identity while in Germany. We weren't even real to him."

"You don't know that," Levi said, hoping to calm him down.

Eren scowled and looked out at the evening mist. "A part of me thinks this is proof that Jews are incapable of human affection, just like I was taught in school."

"What?" Levi hissed out, rage surging as he heard that.

"And now, I have that same Jewish blood running through my veins." Eren scoffed out a wry laugh and muttered, "Do I really love anything?"

Levi suddenly grabbed Eren by the back of the head, glaring furiously as his fingers pulled on his lanky hair. Eren flinched and was about to shout, but he saw deep sadness in Levi's single eye. Then suddenly, Levi surged forward, straddled Eren's lap, and pressed him back against the stone wall.

He let out a muted cry of surprise as he was overtaken by the force of a kiss. Then he felt Levi's tongue, soft and wet. Eren's eyes fluttered down, and he separated his lips, letting Levi delve in. Levi's kiss was almost fierce, like he had to prove something.

Levi suddenly pulled back, and Eren gasped for air. His vision was as foggy as the forest around them, and his flushed cheeks felt fiery in the freezing air.

Levi stared into his face, breathing hard, and Eren could see the pounding of Levi's heart vibrating the fabric of his gray shirt. Levi traced Eren's lips with his thumb.

"Is your love for me not proof that you experience human affection?"

Eren dropped his gaze. "Am I really in love with you?"

"Eren!"

"A man loving another man, it isn't natural."

Levi's lip curled in a sneer. "I know you don't believe that bullshit."

"But what if it's true? What if it really is a disgusting abomination? Wouldn't that be more proof that I lack normal human affection?"

"Then what about my feelings for you?"

Eren's brow furrowed. "Isn't it the same? You're Jewish, after all—"

Suddenly, a hand flew out, and Eren's cheek burned with the strike of a sharp slap. He gasped and looked at Levi, stunned that he had hit him.

Levi leaned in close, and his eye glared with rage. "I will say this only once, Eren Jäger." Then he screamed, "Don't ever fucking say my love for you is unnatural, or disgusting, or subhuman. Je ne le supporterai pas. C'est inacceptable." I won't put up with it. It's unacceptable. Levi pulled off from his seat on Eren's lap and glared at him, barely holding back his anger. His teeth gritted, he warned, "The next time you insult me like that, I'm gone."

"See! This is what I mean," Eren cried out. "What happens when all of those emotions go away? You'll abandon me, like how my father abandoned me."

"My emotions will not go away, but I refuse to be told I'm disgusting."

"What? No!" he cried out. "I didn't call you that."

"That is exactly what you just said!"

Eren was about to protest, but he realized with a sinking sensation in his heart, Levi was right. He had just said that Levi's love for him was a disgusting abomination and due to the Nazi's belief that Jews were subhuman.

Levi still had a sneer on his face. "If you're going to insult me like that, then maybe it's you who had his emotions dry up. Mine are still the same, dammit! I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, so much it's torture, but you keep pushing me away. I know you need time, you need to work through things, but if you're going to tell me to my face that I'm disgusting for falling for you, then fuck you!"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, shrinking down in shame.

"You better be!" Levi let out a sigh and stroked down Eren's mussed up hair. "And your feelings for me had better be real, or I will hate you for eternity."

Eren let out a sigh and rested his nose against Levi's. "Of course they're real."

"Then that means you are capable of human affection. Whatever reasons your father had for leaving you, it was not because he was a Jew. Anyone can be an asshole, regardless of race and religion."

"I get it. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to come to grips with finding out I am the very thing I was told my whole life that I should hate."

"You already knew that your mother was Jewish."

"One of her grandparents, so that meant I wasn't technically Jewish."

"Was it on her mother's side?" Levi asked, and Eren nodded. Levi scoffed and shook his head. "Idiot. Remember when I told you that my children couldn't have been Jewish because my wife wasn't? It runs on the mother's side. If your mother's mother's mother was a Jew, that makes you a Jew by heritage."

"But it was only one—"

"Doesn't matter. For Jews, so long as it's on the mother's side, that's all that counts, no matter how many generations back. Do you believe your mother's love was real?"

"Of course," he insisted.

"And she was a Jew. She passed that heritage on to you. You can't inherit it from your father, only your mother. Besides, I know you never fully believed what Nazis said about Jews. Maybe you once believed Aryans were superior, but you never believed Jews were evil, right?"

Eren frowned and muttered, "I couldn't."

"Because of your mother."

Eren quietly nodded.

"Do you still believe Aryans are superhumans?"

"No," he whispered. "I've seen the worst of humanity, and they had blue eyes and blond hair."

"There are good people who look like that too. Like Armin."

Eren smiled faintly to think of his brave and loyal best friend. Armin risked his life to save Levi many times and went into the midst of a battle with severe brain trauma to rescue Eren.

"Good and evil exist side by side all throughout the world. It comes in all colors and all creeds. The ones who are truly evil are those who hate others for something they cannot change. Those are the true subhumans of this world, the true enemies of all humanity."

Levi saw that his words were sinking in, so he gave Eren a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't listen to men who say Jews have no human affection, or homosexuality is disgusting, or men of dark skin are animals, or women are less intelligent. It's all bullshit spouted by men with wicked hearts, or the ignorant fools who believe such hateful lies because a preacher or politician told them. The true supermen of this world are those with the strength to lift up everyone around them. Be that sort of person, and not the weaklings who can only push others down."

Eren kept his eyes lowered as he nodded.

Levi caressed his cheek. "You love me, right?"

Eren again nodded.

"Look me in the eye and tell me."

Eren struggled to look at Levi's scarred face, wracked with guilt by the mutilation, but he forced his gaze up, focusing on the one grayish-blue eye. Choked up, he whispered, "I love you."

Levi kissed his forehead. "That's all that matters."

Something welled up in Eren's heart. It grew and swelled, bigger and bigger, until his chest honestly began to hurt. His lips trembled, his eyes burned, his whole body tensed up, like he had to hold it all in, but it was simply too much.

Everything exploded in a sobbing wail. He threw his arms around Levi, crushing him as he began to scream. Tears burst out, and his chest went into convulsions. To Eren, it felt like something was being vomited up, but not from his stomach. It came out as shrieks, like they were disgorging from his heart.

The sudden screams shocked Levi. He had expected that maybe Eren might need to hug him, perhaps cry a bit, but this was worse. He grabbed Eren and smothered his face down into his chest, staring out into the night in fear that someone might hear him.

Then again, Eren's screams were so animalistic and shrieking, someone might think this was a wounded woodland creature.

Eren kept screaming as his throat hurt, yet he could not stop. He barely even knew what he was doing and was unaware of just how loud he was.

He had screamed like this once before, the day his mother was killed. At that time, Hannes had held him, protecting the hysterical boy from the mob of Brownshirts. Eren was not even aware of what was going on, what Hannes must have said to calm the men down. All he could do was scream as he saw his mother's blood seeping over the ground. Even as Hannes covered his eyes and held his face down into his uniform so he would not see her body, Eren had seen enough.

He could see her now, and he screamed.

He could see the deciphered code from a man named Zeke, telling him he was his secret half-brother and their father was dead... and he screamed.

He could see the first man under his command getting a brains splattered out from a bullet shot on the beaches of Anzio... and he screamed.

He could see Levi's gaze meeting him while another Jew was forced into taking him from behind... and he screamed.

He could see Thomas and Franz crying out to him amid flames... and he screamed.

He could see Levi on the floor of the Fort Queuleu internment camp in a pool of blood... and he screamed.

He felt Levi's hand on his head, pulling his face down into his shirt, just as Hannes had done the day his mother died. Just like back then, he knew he was safe with this man protecting him. Here, he could be vulnerable. He could scream and break down, because he knew someone was there to put him back together.

Hannes and pieced him together into the perfect soldier.

What would Levi piece him back together into?

Levi's hand kept stroking Eren's head, letting him have this release. At least it was here, far from civilization, and not in a city hotel with people all around. He did not try to stop Eren. Even as he began to cough from a sore throat and choked on mucus, Levi kept him close, protecting him from whatever demons were being excised from his soul.

It took almost ten minutes for the screams to stop and fade into choking sobs and raspy coughs. It took another five minutes for Eren to run out of tears and just sit there, breathing hard, his nose a runny mess, sniffling and shivering with thick gulps and quiet coughs. Then for another five minutes, he cried again, softer this time, less like a wailing beast and more like a tiny child. As that faded away, Eren simply held onto Levi, letting the abyss swallow him, wondering what was on the other side of the darkness.

Levi sat there, his shirt wet, simply holding Eren through the silence. He considered consoling him but decided to let Eren decide when he was done. He felt Eren's body shiver from time to time, like the last tiny pockets of poison were finding their way to the surface. Through the aftermath, Eren said nothing, so Levi did the same.

It was nearly half an hour since the outburst began when he heard Eren take a deep breath and let out a sigh, like he was waking up from a deep slumber. Slowly, Eren pulled back. His eyes remained lowered, and Levi could see that his entire face was puffy. Levi pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, Eren whispered a hoarse thanks, and he wiped his face. Levi then crawled over to their bags and returned with a canteen of water. Eren gulped it down and rubbed his throat while Levi sat beside him, rubbing Eren's back and gazing at him with concern.

Finally, Eren whispered, "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. You needed to get it off your chest."

"Off my chest," Eren repeated, thinking about that phrase. "English has a good way of saying that. Like a pain in my heart, a weight in my soul. Get it off my chest," he repeated, committing that phrase to memory.

Levi reached forward and touched Eren's cheek. This time, he leaned into the hand, like he needed to feel the warmth.

"I'm here for you," Levi promised him. "It's what being partners is all about."

Eren finally met his gaze and smiled. Then his eyes drifted down and focused on Levi's lips, gazing longingly. His own lips loosened like they desperately wanted to kiss but were being held back by an invisible force.

Levi saw the craving, and he rubbed his thumb over Eren's lower lip. His mouth parted in a silent gasp as his eyes fluttered shut, yet that was all Levi did. He was debating if kissing Eren was a good idea. He certainly looked like he wanted it, but maybe his emotions were simply weakened. He was debating what to do when Eren blurted out.

"May I kiss you?"

Levi looked stunned that he had asked first, and he gently smiled. "Of course you may."

Eren touched the gaunt cheeks and tilted Levi's face up. Levi had his eyes closed, ready for a kiss, curious what type it would be, but Eren hesitated. After a moment, Levi opened his eyes again to see a contemplative look in the young man's face.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome, my neshomeleh."

Melting at that sweet pet name, Eren leaned in and gave Levi a slow, lingering kiss. He hummed, soaking in the warmth for a few seconds, before kissing Levi a little harder.

Yes! This was what Levi had been craving. He could hardly believe how much he needed some passion. Hardly realizing it, he climbed back onto Eren's lap so he could kiss him easier. Eren hugged him with his good arm, pulling him in closer. Levi pushed his body up tight as he thrust his tongue in to take all of Eren's mouth, getting a soft moan out. Eren hummed as he was conquered by such a powerful kiss.

Suddenly, Eren pulled Levi in harder as he rolled his hips up. Levi adjusted his straddled seat on Eren's lap and gave his groin a slight press. A quiet but heated breath of pleasure shivered out.

If Hannes had pieced Eren's broken pieces back together to be a soldier, perhaps Levi was piecing him back together to be a lover. Eren much preferred that.

Their breaths steamed in the icy air, and their tongues battled as their bodies pressed closer. Levi combed through Eren's long hair, loving how he could grip it and tease it. Eren seemed to enjoy it too, and when Levi gave his hair a slightly harder pull as he pressed his tongue in deeply, Eren let out a louder moan.

Then a crow cawed, and Eren jolted with a cry of panic. Levi could feel the young man's whole body ready to leap away, held down only by Levi's weight. He quickly began to pet Eren to soothe him back down.

"It's just a bird. Come on, let's go deeper inside this little hut. I'm starting to get wet from this rain. Besides, we should get some sleep. I don't want that fisherman to go without us."

He climbed off, and Eren instantly missed the heat. They crawled deeper into the tiny hut. Eren had hoped that they would kiss some more, but Levi began to set up a place to sleep.

Perhaps Levi did not want to completely build Eren back together while he was broken and weak, but to decide for himself what sort of new man he should become.

As Levi arranged his blanket on the dirt floor, he was happy to see that Eren set his right beside him. It brought a warm smile to his heart.

Eren still felt an emptiness that needed to be filled before he could even think about sleep. He looked nervous and a bit confused. What even was this feeling? What was his chaotic heart trying to tell him?

Finally, in a small voice, he asked, "Can... Can we perhaps... Could you... verdammt."

"Tell me."

Eren's face drew up, like he was battling something distasteful. "It sounds weird," he growled, but then he reached out and touched Levi's good hand. "Can I rest my head on your lap?"

So... fucking... adorable!

"Of course."

Levi sat up with his back against the stone wall. Eren wrapped the blanket around him and laid his head on Levi's leg like it was a pillow. Levi gently stroked his fingers across Eren's brow and up into his hair. Those teal eyes closed and relaxed at the touches.

His head leaned in closer to Levi, inhaled slowly, and let out a sigh as the warm scent of this man made him feel safe. Indeed, that weight on him felt lighter. Perhaps not totally gone yet, but less heavy on his heart.

"Levi, can you... can you speak to me in French?" he whispered as he drifted off.

Levi bent over and kissed his forehead. "Bien sûr que je peux." Of course I can. Just that much made Eren blush and smile in giddy warmth that amused Levi. "Je te tiendrai dans mes bras jusqu'à ce que tu t'endormes." I will hold you in my arms until you fall asleep.

Levi gentle ran his hand over Eren's face, tugging his eye closes.

"Ferme les yeux, mon cœur. Laisse ma voix t'apaiser." Close your eyes, my heart. Let my voice soothe you.

Eren closed his eyes and let out a tiny hum of happiness at the musical sound of the deep, soothing voice. It made Levi's heart surge.

"Je suis là avec toi, tu peux te dormir maintenant. Ne t'inquiète de rien, je suis ici et je veille sur toi toute la nuit. Ne pense à rien, juste à nous deux ici, tranquilles. Je suis juste ici, laisse ton corps se détendre." I'm here with you, you can sleep now. Don't worry about anything, I'm here and I'll watch over you all night. Don't think about anything, just the two of us here, peaceful.

After the emotional outburst, he wanted Eren to be happy again. The poor boy was so traumatized, Levi would do anything to bring that smile back! He softly stroked down Eren's long, brown hair. His muscles began to go limp as his head sank to the side, warm in that soothing, melodic voice.

Levi whispered in a low purr, "Je suis là maintenant, tu n'as rien à craindre, je te protégerai. Laisse-toi emporter par le sommeil, flottant doucement. Laisse ton corps se détendre pendant que je caresse ta tête. Je resterai à tes côtés toute la nuit, et chaque nuit désormais. Tu es en sécurité dans mes bras, je ne te laisserai plus jamais partir." I am here now, you have nothing to fear, I will protect you. Let yourself be carried away by sleep, floating gently. Let your body relax as I caress your head. I will stay by your side all night, and every night from now on. You are safe in my arms, I will never let you go again.

Eren's head slowly sank to the side, still on Levi's lap, and pressed up close to his crotch. It shocked Levi a little—he wanted to laugh at the idea that Eren subconsciously wanted him there—but he kept quiet to let the young man sleep. He pet Eren's head slower as the last glow of twilight faded into the pure darkness of a rainy night.

A sadness sank over Levi. How he wished Eren never had to go through any of that! And then to leave him alone for so long, trapped with the nightmares for weeks on end! No wonder the poor young man needed to break down and scream.

Heartbroken by Eren's trauma, Levi whispered, "Je suis désolé d'avoir dû te quitte, mais je veux que tu saches qu'à partir de maintenant, je veillerai sur toi." I'm sorry I had to leave you, but I want you to know that from now on, I'll watch over you.

Levi softly touched the gold band on Eren's finger and whispered, "Je jure devant Dieu de te protéger ou de mourir à tes côtés." I swear before God to protect you or die by your side.

He let out a sigh, almost a scoff or a laugh. A year ago, he would never had made such an oath. No matter who they were, he had sworn to live on, no matter the price. If that meant leaving a companion behind so he could escape, so be it! Now, he could not even imagine doing such a thing to this man.

Slowly, Levi pulled Eren's shirt to the side and saw the scar Woermann's bullet had left behind. A man brave enough to leap in front of a gun and take a bullet for him deserved an oath that solemn.

He whispered warmly, "Dors bien, mon amour. Que tes rêves soient doux et sereins." Sleep well, my love. May your dreams be sweet and serene.

The thick clouds and rain made the forest pitch black. Levi pulled the eye patch off and rubbed the glass eye. Could those be tears stinging it? How dare this boy make him want to cry! He shoved the eye patch into his pocket so it would not fall onto the dirt floor. Then he closed his eyes, and in seconds he dozed off with his hand still resting on top of Eren's head.

* * *

After an hour, Eren suddenly jolted up and looked around. He felt a muscular leg under him, looked up, and in the darkness he saw the shadowy outline of Levi's body.

He really had let him sleep like this.

Eren sat up, and Levi jolted.

"What is it?" Levi whispered, struggling to wake up.

"I need to pee. You can lie in bed. Sorry about this."

"I liked it," Levi mumbled half-asleep. He slipped down into his blankets and pulled them up. "I miss it."

Eren was curious. "Miss what?"

"You. Warmth. Love."

Eren felt both a flush in his cheeks and a sting of guilt. He knew he had been pulling away a lot. He couldn't help it. When they were in public, they had to be careful. They made that mistake before.

Still, like this... alone like this...

Levi fell instantly back to sleep in his bedding. Eren stepped out into the forest, hunching over at the drizzling rain that felt ready to turn into snow at any moment. He walked not very far to urinate into some bushes. He shivered against the icy air as he relieved himself. Once done, he looked around at the inky forest.

He liked the darkness. He had hidden in it for weeks.

Darkness was protection.

Darkness was safe.

Eren walked back to the hut, which was barely even visible in such total darkness. Stepping inside, it was noticeably warmer from their body heat, enough to soothe his shivering. He adjusted one of their bags as a pillow, laid down, found Levi's sleeping body, and wrapped around him. He rested his head against Levi's back and draped his broken arm with its plaster cast on top. He wished he could hold him properly, but this was enough.

Levi woke up with the movement and noises, but he remained still as Eren curled up against him. He smiled to himself, glad Eren felt safe enough to cuddle like this.

Then he heard something. He wondered at first if it was an animal creeping around somewhere nearby, but it sounded far too close. The third time, the sound was distinct.

Kissing!

Eren was placing kisses on the back of Levi's head. Then his lips moved down, and one kiss landed on his neck, right where it met the scalp. The warm breath from his nose sent a tremble all through Levi's body.

"Sorry," Eren whispered.

"No, you're not." Levi rolled around and reached out to him. "You woke me up on purpose. It better be for a good reason."

Eren truly could see nothing but a shadow in front of him. No scarred face, no missing eye, no mutilated hands. It was all blind touches as he reached out and rubbed over Levi, feeling where his body was, mapping it out in his mind. Eren felt his face until he found Levi's lips, then he leaned in and kissed him. Levi kissed him back, and both of their hands reached out to feel one another's faces.

Like this, unable to see the scars, Eren's heart felt freed from the chains of guilt.

Then he made a surprise attack. Eren surged forward, shocking Levi as he pushed him onto his back. Immediately, Eren climbed on top of him, his arms and legs caging Levi in. The kisses turned fierce, like a wild animal in his heart had been set free.

To Levi, this was like a totally different man from the traumatized teen just hours ago. Levi even reached up and felt his face again to make certain this really was Eren.

Had that emotional outburst freed this aggressive passion?

Well, if that was the case, Levi planned to enjoy it!

Eren wasted no time, grinding desperately against him and yanking Levi's shirt out of his trousers to press his fingers up underneath so he could feel his skin. Levi gasped that he was so suddenly doing this.

How much did Eren even want now? He thought they would need more time, maybe weeks or months as they gradually eased back into love.

He had no idea what was okay anymore.

Perhaps he should let Eren do whatever he needed.

So as Eren obviously wanted to touch him more, Levi undid his shirt buttons and let it separate, exposing his chest to the chilly air. Eren's hands and lips were all over his body, devouring all they could like a starved man. When he sucked on Levi's nipple, a shuddering moan quietly breathed out, but nothing more. He did not stop Eren, even as he felt himself starting to react to the erotic touches.

Eren kissed all around, over and over, caressing, clawing, shivering as if there was a bomb inside him ready to detonate. Then he suddenly pulled up, his head hanging, panting from the thrilling rush.

"I want to suck you and ride your cock."

Levi's jaw dropped.

"But I shouldn't," Eren continued. "I want you so much, it hurts. Everything hurts! How much I want you... and how much it terrifies me. All I want is to kiss you, to taste you, to have you fuck me all night and claim me... yet all I see are uniforms and guns. I see them, like they are right there," he said, pointing at the hut's entrance. "I see them!"

Levi reached up and tugged Eren's face away from the archway. "I'm so sorry, takhshet. I wish I could take it all away."

"In the dark, it's a little better, but still... still... even like this, it won't go away. The pain in my shoulder, my broken arm..." He reached forward and stroked along Levi's face. "Your face, your hand... it won't ever go away. It can never go back to how it was." He let out a weak sigh and whispered, "What if I never get better?"

"You will," Levi said with conviction. "You're a strong man, Eren Jäger. You'll fight this."

"But I can't! I can't make it better. I can't give your eye back, or your fingers. I can't fix it!" His head fell down, resting against Levi's chest as he began to cry. "I'll always see them! Every time I see you, I see them."

Levi ached with sympathy and guilt. "How about this?"

He pulled Eren to lie on his back. Then he undid his shirt and traced his fingers down his chest and abs. He gave Eren a few kisses to his pecs before lying on top with his own shirt spread, so that they were chest to chest. Then he pulled the blankets around them.

Eren let out a tense laugh, relieved that Levi was happy with simple cuddling, but also frustrated at himself that he wanted so much more.

Levi cradled Eren gently and gave him soft kisses. Even as he felt the powder keg deep inside Eren rumbling to take over, he tried to calm him back down.

Eren breathed hard through his frustration. "I want more. I wanna suck you."

Levi had to laugh at the petulant whine, like a child who wanted candy. "I'm filthy as hell. Do you think I want to kiss your mouth after you've sucked something so dirty? Wait until I've had a bath. I won't let you until then."

Eren huffed, but he did not talk back. Levi did not want it yet, but he did want it. He grumbled, "This is such a perfect spot, though. Dark, alone, far away from everyone. I feel safe here. It's like, if I don't do it now, I'm afraid I won't get to again."

"Then let's do this."

Levi sat up with his back against the wall and pulled Eren to sit in front of him. He reached around and ran his hand over Eren's crotch. His whole body surged up at the touch, but Levi only allowed a little bit of warmth to touch him. It was enough to excite, but not ignite.

"Such a horny little boy," Levi teased. "I bet I could give your cock a kiss and you'd burst all over my face."

Eren had to admit, that was probably true. Not only that, he really wanted to see it!

Levi groped across Eren's chest while stroking along his trousers, feeling how stiff Eren had gotten. He liked keeping him aroused, and he briefly wondered if he could keep him on edge all night. However, they had to wake up early in the morning to cross the river under the cover of fog.

Levi slipped his hand past Eren's belt and down into his trousers. He felt the soft tip of Eren's cock and gripped it. Eren's whole body reacted at the touch.

"I know what it's like," Levi said sadly. "I know the fear, the guilt, wanting more, fearing your own heart... you were the one who got me through all that. I want to do the same for you."

He eased Eren's shirt aside so he could nibble along his shoulder and neck. Eren let out strangled whimpers as he squirmed around.

Being unable to see somehow made it even more erotic. Eren could picture Levi back before... everything. The way he looked in Carly's brothel, in that red room of satin and sensuality. Those were the dreams that had warmed his nights.

They were also dreams that haunted him, knowing how everything turned out.

Yet Levi was back, touching him.

"I know you're strong," Levi whispered. "Deep down, you're the same man I fell for. So tell me..." He breathed into Eren's ear. "What do you want?"

Eren shivered at the deep voice. "Touch me more."

"Like this?" Levi teased as his hand moved back up to Eren's torso.

He let out a little groan of humiliation. "Lower. Touch me."

"Do you mean your knee?" Levi said playfully, loving that fluster in his voice.

Eren bit his lips and whined, "My cock. Can you touch my cock?"

"I could," he said with a chuckle. "Is that what you want? You have to tell me."

"Yes! Touch me there. On my cock. Touch it. Rub it."

His hand slipped down again, and Levi undid Eren's belt and zipper. He lowered the underwear down until Eren's cock sprang free.

"Do you mean this?" he asked, running one finger up him.

"Yes!" Eren whined.

"Say please."

"Please!" he exhaled with a moan of dire need.

Levi sucked on his shoulder where it met the neck as he wrapped his fingers around Eren's erection and stroked it. Eren finally let out a strangled cry as he finally got the touch he wanted. How dare Levi make him practically beg! Yet Eren had to admit, he loved it when Levi teased him like that.

Using his free hand, Eren dug his fingers into Levi's thigh while the fingers of his broken arm clenched. Levi no longer teased him, but set up a steady and firm rhythm, jerking him firmly. Eren panted hard as Levi's touches made his belly coil.

Then Eren suddenly thought he saw the shadowy silhouette of Waffen-SS uniforms in the doorway, and he let out a little cry of panic as he backed away.

"They aren't there," Levi told him. "Even if they were, fuck them! I wouldn't stop. They can watch, for all I care. They couldn't stop me before. They gave me their worst, and my heart was stronger. Our love is stronger! So fuck them. Nothing will stop me from wanting you. Nothing!"

Eren closed his eyes against the nightmare vision and listened to Levi's defiant words. Here, with this man, he felt stronger. He felt safe.

"Levi..." he moaned.

"I'm right here. I'll always be here. My precious takhshet. My jewel. My neshomeleh."

Eren felt intense relief. There was still fear, shadowy nightmares, but he trusted Levi. He knew no stronger man in the whole world.

Together, even the greatest enemy could not defeat them.

"Levi!" he whimpered. The fears vanished, and he began to pant heavily. "Please! Faster!"

Levi's hand sped up, and he listened as Eren panted harder. He loved those sounds!

"Levi! Ah! Le-... Levi! Faster! I... I... need more."

Levi's imagination turned to more things, wilder moments between them, and a vision of how much more was yet to come. He could see them like that now, Eren on his hands and knee, begging him just like this.

Levi growled, "How I'd love to fuck you!"

"Yes!" Eren yelled in a deep shudder. Then he suddenly shivered. "Ah... ich... ich komme." His body coiled tighter and tighter. "Ich komme. Ich komme. Ahhh! Levi!"

A deep, warm breath whispered in his ear, "Let me feel it."

Fear, defiance, guilt, love... he fought through all of it. Eren was suddenly overwhelmed with terror. What if the Gestapo came and saw him right at this moment? But there was no stopping this anymore. All he could do was trust Levi.

Trust him to protect him.

Trust him to love him.

Eren felt his body burst, and with it the shadowy nightmares swirled around him, screaming threats.

* * *

"You're under arrest."

"You're a faggot, Jäger. Disgusting!"

"Prove your innocence. Shoot him in the head."

"To Hell with you and the rest of your kind."

"The bullet is too good for you."

"Your faggot lover will hang!"

"Death to homosexuals."

"You both will be flogged and castrated in public."

"Once I cut off that faggot's dick, you won't laugh anymore."

"Your lover wanted to see you one last time."

* * *

Right as his body lost control, all the nightmares attacked. What should have been euphoria turned into a cold panic surging up his spine.

"Ah! Nein, nein! Geht weg!" No, no! Go away!

"Eren?"

"Geht weg, geht weg, geht weg."

"Eren!"

"Ich töte euch alle! Scheißkerle! Ich töte—" I'll kill you all! Motherfuckers! I'll kill—

Suddenly, strong arms grasped around him as teeth dug into his shoulder. The pain of the teeth yanked him back into the present.

Levi!

Behind him, Levi was honestly terrified that Eren might completely flip out and attack. He had one thought: don't let him get to the weapons! Hold him here until it passed. He also hoped that biting Eren might shock him out of things. It seemed to be working.

The ghostly shadows drifted away as Eren's body sank in relief.

"Huh? Oh. Oooh!"

He focused on the feeling of tingling warmth and let his body sink into it with a long, quavering moan.

It had been so long ... so long!

He had not touched himself while sitting by himself in the wine cellar. He felt like that was something Levi should do. His cock should only be pleasured by his lover.

Now here he was.

He turned his head around and found Levi's lips. Levi looked deeply worried, but Eren kissed him with thanks that he would help him through this. Levi's hand slowly released from his tense grip and reached up to stroke the long hair as he kissed Eren through the last of the afterglow, feeling his body sink and slump loosely.

Eren rested heavily against him. "You may have to help me through this."

"I expected as much," Levi muttered. He remembered how he had often panicked when the two of them got intimate. It made sense that Eren would go through the same thing.

Eren nuzzled under Levi's jaw and grumbled, "That was miserable."

"Miserable?" Levi asked, concerned why Eren hated it. Was he pushing himself again? That was the last thing Levi wanted.

"I saw everything. Everything! In my head. Woermann, Reiner, Magath. Their voices. I heard them. I saw them." His head curled up under Levi's chin, cuddling in close. "Through it all, you were there. You protected me. I'm safe with you."

Levi grabbed around Eren and squeezed him. "Damn right you are! I'll always protect you, because you protected me for so long."

"I couldn't protect you from them," he whispered with guilt surging up again.

"Idiot. It's because I was protecting you that day. They wanted information that would have damned your friends. I knew I needed to protect them. Jean and Armin did so much for us, it's the least I could do."

Eren raised his head up. "You were protecting them? What do you mean?"

"It's what they were questioning me about."

Eren thought back to the interrogation. "I remember now. Magath asked where we went before the brothel was raided."

"He thought I was going to some Allied agent, a handler. I couldn't tell him it was to see Armin," Levi said solemnly. "I wanted to protect you and your friends. It was my choice to be stubborn, so it's not something for you to feel guilty about. They wanted to know more about you, your involvement, about Carly, about old man Alexeï. If I had betrayed even one, how many more would suffer? Not many can withstand torture. I can. They didn't break me. They tried their worst, but I will never betray my companions." He tugged on Eren's face to pull it closer and kissed him. "Especially you. So don't fear them anymore. They should fear me, because I will go through Hell itself to protect you."

Eren smiled while tears dripped down. Learning a bit more about what Levi went through helped him. He had thought Levi was tortured simply because of them being lovers. He had no idea Levi was protecting so many people.

"I wish I had known."

"We didn't really have a chance to talk. We can do that tomorrow. Now, put your dick away. I'll move the blankets away from your mess."

They shifted to another area of the hut and fixed their clothes. Then they laid down and Eren curled up against Levi's back, grasping him closely.

Levi scoffed, "I doubt I can sleep with you smothering me like this."

"Just for a moment," Eren whispered.

He needed to thank Levi for protecting his friends and for shielding him through the nightmarish fears. Maybe there was still a lot of healing to go—and a lot to talk about. At least for now, he felt freer, lighter, and so happy to have Levi with him.

He whispered, "Mein Beschützer, mein Held." My protector, my hero.

Levi had no idea what he was saying, but it sounded endearing. He smiled to himself as he settled against the bags used as pillows. Eren squeezed him a few more times with little sighs of happiness. Levi really wanted to sleep, but he allowed this. After all, it brought warmth to his soul.

He had protected this man.

Whoever rescues a single life earns as much merit as though he had rescued the entire world.

Levi had always wanted to save at least one life, one person, to wash away some of the blood on his hands. Now, he had saved not only Eren, but so many others.

In his heart, he dedicated himself to the task of continuing to shield this man. Whatever was to come on their journey, he would protect Eren.

Levi closed his eyes as he swore to God that oath.

He would always protect him.

# # #

# #

#

Did the USA detain American citizens of German descent like they did to those of Japanese descent? It might surprise some Americans to learn that yes, the USA detained people who were born in America but had ancestors from Germany and Italy.

German Americans were not subjected to the mass incarceration of an entire population based solely on ancestry, like the over 120,000 Japanese Americans who were forcibly detained. Still, approximately 11,000 people of German descent (both German citizens living in the USA and some American-born Germans) were arrested and placed into concentration camps by the U.S. government during World War II. The arrests tended to be more selective, focused on individuals deemed to be security risks by the FBI, often suspected of having ties to Nazi Germany (bad news for Eren).

Side note:

Something I didn't know about until researching this was that it wasn't merely something that affected those living in the USA. Roosevelt's administration also pressured Latin American governments to arrest their own Axis nationals and shipped them to camps in America.

That's right, we imported Germans and Italians born in Latin America.

In Peru, over 1,700 Japanese Peruvians were deported to American camps. Many had lived in Peru for generations. Mexico deported hundreds of German, Japanese, and Italian nationals to the United States and seized Axis-owned businesses and properties. Brazil had the largest population of people of German descent in Latin America and cooperated with the U.S. while placing heavy restrictions on these communities, including curfews, property seizures, and bans on speaking their native languages. There were fears that the Axis powers might sabotage the Panama Canal, which was vital to the war effort, so the U.S. pressured the country to deport German, Japanese, and Italian nationals to American prison camps. Costa Rica, Ecuador, Bolivia, Honduras, Colombia, and Chile were all pressured to deport their Axis nationals to be held in America until the end of the war.

(To be honest, I'm not even certain at this point if such camps would be categorized as "internment camp" or "concentration camp," given that these people weren't even living in America, but were basically kidnapped from other countries due to their nationality, so I'm simply calling the places they were held "prison camps." I'll discuss more about the difference between those two terms in a moment.)

The deportation of Axis nationals from Latin America to the USA was often done without due process (that is, the protection of individual rights). Many of those deported were long-term residents of these countries or even Latin American citizens, especially in the case of Japanese Peruvians.

After the war, many struggled to return home, particularly Japanese Peruvians, as Peru refused to take them back. They had no other option but to remain in the United States.

Anyway, just a side note of something I never knew about and wanted to share. I learn new stuff all the time!

America's Concentration Camps, AKA "Japanese Internment" — Levi brings up reading in a newspaper that America "threw all of their Japanese citizens into concentration camps, grandmothers and children alike." I know many Americans will balk, "They weren't concentration camps; they were internment camps."

I beg to differ, and I will use THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE as my weapon.

I posted this on Tumblr a while ago, and at a reader's suggestion, I have also posted it on Google Drive since it is a proper 3800 word essay.

[links in comment]

INTERNMENT CAMP VS CONCENTRATION CAMP

This whole discussion started with me typing "concentration camp" into Wikipedia and being irked that it redirected me to the entry on Internment.

I was taught in school, both in history and in English classes, that internment camps and concentration camps were NOT the same thing, but I honestly was not sure what the difference was. Some places, like Wikipedia, claim they are the same.

I decided to look into this, both historically and linguistically. I came across a fascinating Huffington Post article on WHY internment camp and concentration camp should never be used interchangeably, and how many Americans are twisting the English language to perpetuate a racist political spin that began in the 1940s.

First, let's find our baseline.

WHAT IS A CONCENTRATION CAMP?

Etymologists have traced the origins of the term concentration camp to the Spanish reconcentrado policy, enacted during the Cuban insurrection of the 1890s. Hoping to curtail the rebellion, Spanish military governors forced the native Cuban population into tiny zones, grandiosely claiming that this was to protect the citizens from guerrilla attacks, but in actuality it was a way for the Spanish to disarm and control them. The horrible conditions in the camps reached American newspapers, and in 1897, Weekly Truth of Elkhart, Indiana, was the first to coin in English "concentration camp."

This term was used again in 1934 in reference to prisons for dissidents and minorities in Nazi Germany, and again in 1935 for prisons in Soviet Russia.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a concentration camp is:

"a place where large numbers of people (such as prisoners of war, political prisoners, refugees, or the members of an ethnic or religious minority) are detained or confined under armed guard."

The precise definition of a concentration camp differs. The Cambridge English Dictionary includes that prisoners must be "kept in extremely bad conditions;" however, exactly how nice or how horrible conditions are is subject to interpretation.

(Side note — As much as I like the Cambridge Dictionary, that definition was poorly worded and can lead to twisting the definition to get out of accountability. "We don't keep our prisoners in extremely bad conditions; sure, the place is overcrowded, cold as a freezer, they aren't given soap, sleep on the floor, guards steal their medication or deny them medical treatment, women are being assaulted, children too, and many have died, but they have a blanket and we don't torture them—usually—so it's not extremely bad. These aren't concentration camps because millions aren't dying and they don't match the same level of evil as literally one of the most evil genocidal maniacs in human history!")

Ahem...

Anyway...

According to the Holocaust Encyclopedia, "To standardize practices, the SS established the Inspectorate of Concentration Camps. Furthermore, the full authority to take individuals into "protective custody" and transport them to concentration camps fell to the Gestapo (Secret State Police). All concentration camps were officially designated by the initials KL (Konzentrationslager; Concentration Camp), though SS guards, inmates, and the public often used the initials KZ. Today, camp memorials tend to use the initials KZ.

It should be noted that extermination camps were not considered to be concentration camps, as their goal is not to detain people, but to kill people. Auschwitz II (Birkenau) was the only exception. The rest of the extermination camps were never designated by the SS as concentration camps, though they were under the control of the SS.

As a 98-year-old Jew who escaped to America once told me, to compare a concentration camp to an extermination camp "is like comparing a cowshed to a slaughterhouse."

A facility may hold more than it was designed for, those imprisoned may be sleeping in terrible conditions, and medical attention may be denied. While some involve forced labor, that was not always the case, even with the Nazis.

In Nazi Germany, there were labor camps, concentration camps, and extermination camps. Auschwitz-Birkenau had all three.

Also, a nation does not have to be at war to create concentration camps. After all, the Nazis were never at war with Jews, Romani, Jehovah's Witnesses, or the gay community. They created these camps before 1939. While Hitler may have seen his campaign against Jews as a holy war, that's not the same.

So there we go: our baseline.

WHAT IS INTERNMENT?

Again using Webster's Dictionary, to intern is "to confine or impound especially during a war."

So what is an internment camp? Sadly, this is a term that has twisted roots woven into historical racism that have to be unraveled.

If you're an American like me, you probably grew up hearing about Japanese American Internment Camps. I was apparently very lucky to have history teachers who were blunt in saying that these were concentration camps. To quote my rather colorful 20th Century American History professor in college, "Internment is a fucking euphemism used by White people so they don't feel guilty about what they did to Yellow people and are still fucking doing to Red, Brown, and Black people." (Like I said, he was colorful...)

Although I knew it was just a euphemism, I never knew that there was a specific difference, and that what America did under Franklin D. Roosevelt cannot be defined as "internment."

To quote the above Huffington Post article:

"[Internment] only refers to the confinement or impounding of 'enemy aliens' during a time of war. 'Internment' does not refer to the imprisonment of our own citizens."

I checked this with multiple dictionaries—some less helpful than others—and I got the feeling that this definition changed between British and American English, all depending on what decade the dictionary was written in. After all, I was taught that "internment" meant something very different prior to World War II, but American English basically rewrote the dictionary to cover up their sins.

So I went back to my trusty buddy Webster, but this time I checked the 1913 Webster's Dictionary. The definition was as follows:

"Confinement within narrow limits, - as of foreign troops, to the interior of a country." - Webster's 1913 Connoisseur's Reference to American English

I'm curious about preciously where the Huffington Post author got their definition, but a pre-WWII dictionary confirms their approach.

Try googling "definition of internment camp" online you get mostly results about America's imprisonment of ethnic Japanese people. Now, this may be because I'm American and Google slants results to your own country, but DuckDuckGo (my fave search engine) was even less helpful.

At last I got some results. The Collins Dictionary defines internment camp as "a prison camp for the confinement of enemy aliens, prisoners of war, political prisoners, etc." I also found an entry in the Oxford Reference: "Confinement of people in a camp or prison-like custodial institution, usually aliens in times of war and prisoners of war."

So the Huffington Post pointing out that internment is confinement of enemy aliens checks out.

For a camp to qualify as an internment camp, first the nation must be at war with the group they are targeting, and second, the prisoners must be political opponents, POWs, or non-citizens from the country the nation is at war with.

The Japanese were not political prisoners, which by definition must be "a person put in prison because of his or her political beliefs." Being born ethnically Jewish or Japanese is not a political belief. They were non-combatants. Many were children.

They were innocent citizens of America.

A modern day scenario that hits close to home: let's assume America and Russia go to war. My family has a friend who was born in the USSR, immigrated to America, but never got his citizenship. He and his Canadian wife have been renewing their Green Cards for decades. If such a war broke out and the government instituted the same thing they did to the Japanese Americans in World War II, then he could be held in an internment camp as an enemy alien, since he is not a U.S. citizen.

However, my mother-in-law is of Russian heritage, both of her parents were born in Russia, but she was born in the USA. She and my husband cannot be placed in an internment camp, as they are citizens, not an enemy alien, nor a political prisoner. Even my husband's grandmother—who was born in Soviet Russia, left due to Stalin's persecution of Jews, and got her citizenship back in the 1940s—cannot be placed in an internment camp. She is not an alien; she is a legal citizen.

Therefore, if America and Russia went to war and the U.S. government rounded up all ethnic Russians, such camps would fall under the definition of concentration camps, not internment camps.

Am I getting technical with definitions?

You better believe I am!

The opposite of that is using a racist euphemism, which gets us into the next subject.

AMERICA'S CONCENTRATION CAMPS

During World War II, two-thirds of the Japanese Americans dragged away from their homes and placed into camps were born in America. If America had only imprisoned the roughly 40,000 migrants from Japan living along the West Coast, then we could claim these were internment camps.

However, by holding both migrants and born-in-the-USA citizens, these are no longer people held in internment. They were forcefully removed from their homes based on race, by order of the government, on grounds of being a threat to national security.

In other words, these fall under the definition of concentration camp.

In fact, FDR himself called them "concentration camps." It was the War Relocation Authority who began the political spin, creating a plethora of euphemistic terms. The government then ordered newspapers to stop using negative terminology and only use government-approved euphemisms.

Rather than calling it a forced removal, they had to call it an "evacuation." Rather than those being removed being incarcerated, they were described as being "interned." The facilities were no longer, as FDR himself called them, concentration camps, but were cleaned of any negative connotation with a brand new term: "relocation centers."

Thus, most Americans grew up learning these euphemisms in newspapers and school textbooks, while in Japanese American neighborhoods, the original words were still being used.

An argument about terminology did not really begin until the 1970s, and I reference the LA Times, which had a great historical deep-dive into this back in 2019. While the Japanese community had spent 30 years calling the prisons "concentration camps," White Americans had been careful to use the War Relocation Authority's preferred term: internment camp.

So when California state officials made Manzanar, the first Japanese-American camp, a historical landmark, the commemoration plaque called it a "concentration camp." White ranchers living in the area balked at the term and defaced the plaque. To this day, the plaque shows bullet holes, chisel marks, and other attempts at ruining the language that the White locals disagree with.

(Multiple bullet holes riddle the plaque erected in 1973, with chiseled gouges across the words "injustices," "humiliation," "and "racism" showcasing the racism still prevalent against Japanese Americans.)

In 1994, when the Ellis Island Immigration Museum invited the Japanese American National Museum to share their exhibit America's Concentration Camps, which explored the history of ethnic Japanese incarceration, they had one condition: remove the term "concentration camp" and replace it with "internment camp," so it would not offend the Jewish community in New York City.

Japanese Americans, especially those who had been imprisoned in the camps, bristled at the idea that other people would try to control what words they can use to describe their experience and insisted that "internment camp" was just a euphemism. One race did not hold a monopoly over suffering due to racial discrimination.

(To be clear, this was not the Jewish community asking the Japanese community to reword things, this was the curators at Ellis Island asking a Japanese museum to ban the use of a word because it might offend others. It has the same effect as banning the word "dead" on TikTok and instead saying "un-alive.")

It took multiple meetings and Senator Daniel K. Inouye of Hawaii making a direct appeal to U.S. Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt before the Ellis Island officials dropped their demands, although the compromise was a large placard that noted the differences between the camps for Japanese Americans and camps for Jews.

Because make no mistake, there was a huge difference, just as there's a difference between an American county jail and the notorious Bang Kwang Prison... but the term "prison" still applies to both facilities.

"But concentration camp is so politically charged," I've seen argued online.

My reply: only because racist people watered down the term for the Japanese—an ethnic group who were visibly identifiable—but kept the term for the Jews—an ethnic group that was less easy to identify by looks alone.

In other words, if it weren't for racism, this wouldn't be an argument.

DO JEWS OWN THE TERM "CONCENTRATION CAMP"?

I know I'm tiptoeing into dangerous territory here.

I have sat by and watched Jewish family members argue on whether "concentration camp" should be reserved only for those used by Nazis, that the atrocities of the Holocaust were so great that no other facility in the world should go by such a term. I've seen them counterpoint that Jews are being "just as racially purist as Nazis" (their term, not mine) to think they can own a whole concept that had been used long before the Shoah, and continues to be used by countries like Russia, China, Libya, and the United States.

(Yes, America still has multiple active concentration camps we euphemistically call "Internment Camps" or "Detention Centers.")

To this day, there are some Jews who attack people who call anything other than camps made by Nazis a "concentration camp," and there are other Jews who insist that this "White elitist behavior" needs to stop.

Donald Trump's senior adviser and architect of Trump's restrictive immigration policies, Stephen Miller, said he was offended by Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez likening his detention centers to concentration camps.

"It is a historical smear, it is a sinful comment, it minimizes the death of 6 million of my Jewish brothers and sisters, it minimizes their suffering, and it paints every patriotic law enforcement officer as a war criminal."
- Stephen Miller

Similarly, I have spoken with Jews who insist the Uighur camps in China should be called "internment camps," or the Chinese term "re-education camps," because using "concentration camp" for Muslims is inappropriate.

Yet most Jews I knew balk at that. The Uighurs are citizens of their country being imprisoned and subjected to torture, rape, forced sterilization, and forced labor, all because of their racial identity which is also seen as a religious identity... basically, everything the Nazis did to Jews and Romani, except America fought the Nazis back then, but our country is quick to turn a blind eye from the same atrocities in China... because capitalism... because MONEY is more important than LIBERTY in the USA in the 21st century.

I have talked with Jewish rabbis who balk at the idea that Jews somehow own a trademark on "concentration camp." They feel that racial discrimination needs to be called out, and if it involves a government arresting their own citizens for being a certain race, religion, or political party, then those should not be called internment camps.

As for the Japanese American National Museum and their America's Concentration Camps exhibit, although the officials of Ellis Island made a fuss over it, fearing that they might upset the Jewish community, the Japanese and Jews were actually able to come to a simple agreement: both were concentration camps, but Nazi camps were far worse. That's something everyone can agree with. The Nazis were, by far, worse, but that doesn't mean "concentration camp" only applies to Jews.

WHY WORDS MATTER

First, there was a poster at my college that stuck with me, and while I don't have that poster, I recreated it.

Words matter. Euphemisms kill.

As I said at the beginning, these terms for prison camps have begun to merge in the English language, to the point where a website like Wikipedia — which many people rely upon for their encyclopedic needs — no longer has an entry for CONCENTRATION CAMP at all, but will instead redirect readers to a less triggering entry like "Internment."

I accept that these terms may change over time and depending on which type of English you speak. So, does it really matter which one we use?

The author of the Huffington Post article that started me down this rabbit hole ended the article with a warning about falling into the comfort zone of using euphemism, and how this could negatively affect the treatment of minorities today.

"Is it inappropriate or offensive to use historical euphemisms at all? Yes and no, depending on the context provided. We should remember to critically analyze the euphemisms the government employed to describe the Incarceration of Japanese Americans, and also challenge that language, so that we do not obscure or distort our history. This piece only shows the basics of why these terms are so problematic, but it can serve as a reminder for people to think about how we frame our history. Look for similar ways that euphemistic or propagandist language is applied to how we discuss American Muslims and Muslims around the world, and catch warning signs when it seems that history may repeat itself."

I think this is what that poster in college was really talking about, but more bluntly.

Euphemisms kill.

Euphemisms are how Hitler managed to orchestrate the Holocaust. They were not exterminating the disabled, they were "cleansing" the Aryan race from imperfections. Hitler claimed he was granting a "mercy death [to] patients considered incurable according to the best available human judgment of their state of health."

Same with Jews. They were not humans to Hitler. They were vermin, Untermenschen (subhuman), not even people. Jews were not being violently dragged from their home, crammed onto trains with no food or water, forced to travel many days, starved on the ride there, only to arrive at filthy, overcrowded camps and forced into hard labor. No, no, that's not a tale the German people should hear. They put on a political spin: the Jews were being transported at the government's own expense to beautiful Poland for their own good, so they could be with their own kind and live happy lives with other Jews. Nazi magazines contained staged photographs of Jews smiling in their new Jewish communities.

Words matter.

We know that the American government purposely banned the use of "concentration camp" and "incarceration" during the 1940s because they wanted to avoid public outcry. If we had called those Japanese-American prisons what Franklin D. Roosevelt, Harry S. Truman, Dwight D. Eisenhower, and Life Magazine of April 6, 1942, called them—concentration camps—the issue of terminology would be moot.

Historically, it was applied to racial imprisonment by both Nazis and Americans, until racism got in the way.

America used EUPHEMISMS to avoid looking just as bad as the fascists they were fighting, just as Nazis used EUPHEMISMS to prevent the German public from finding out exactly what was going on in those camps.

History is written by the victors, so while we called out the Nazis with their ghettos, concentration camps, and extermination camps, we kept the racist euphemisms we used to imprison our own citizens.

There are many thinktanks like the Foreign Policy Research Institute who adamantly argue, "Perhaps some terms should simply be retired by common consensus, because they have become irreversibly associated with a specific time, action, or figure. If so, 'concentration camp' certainly qualifies as a term that needs to be left on the shelf, because attempting to educate the population as a means to reclaim the term is a monumental and likely fruitless task." Their reason for this conclusion is "even when the usage is technically correct, the vast majority of listeners are unlikely to know the history of the term, or parse out the different contexts in which it might have been applied."

This is like saying, "People don't like the word RACIST because of strong political opinions about slavery and the Civil Rights Movement, even if technically speaking it's racist to say people of dark skin are subhuman, but because the population is inherently stupid about the intricacies of racial equality, we need to stop calling bigoted people racists, and instead say they are 'ethnically selective.'"

With all due respect... that's bullshit! That goes beyond promoting racist euphemisms, and instead actively promotes the dumbing-down of American society. Coming from a THINKTANK of all places... how immensely disappointing. (Then again, I looked it up, and this writer is from Alabama, so...yeah...)

There's also the case of using words as weapons.

In the above quote from Senior Adviser Stephen Miller, it's important to understand WHY he made that comment.

Stephen Miller was on Fox News, and the question posed to him was if Donald Trump was racist for saying that certain female, non-White members of Congress should "go back to their own countries."

Rather than answer the question, Miller diverted the conversation to an old comment by one of those women, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Born in the Bronx to Puerto Rican parents, so she can't "go back to her own country" because AMERICA IS HER COUNTRY.)

In other words, rather than talk about a racist comment by the then-President of the United States, Miller used the Holocaust as a tool to divert the conversation. This infuriated many in the Jewish community... including his own family!

The Holocaust is not something you use to make a political spin!

Whether or not Ocasio-Cortez was right to call the border detention centers "concentration camps" (as an English nerd, my opinion is she is correct) the point is, these words matter.

I've seen people fling "Nazi" around for anything they don't like. That is wrong. Then Miller flings around "concentration camp" when he's actually talking about extermination camps and the entire Holocaust as a whole. That is wrong.

CONCLUSION

Do words matter?

Is it important to recognize and address the fact that concentration camp and internment camp have been twisted so much since the 1940s that Wikipedia doesn't even have an entry for "concentration camp" anymore, and American dictionaries have changed their definitions over the past 80 years, all to gloss over the illegal confinement of Japanese-Americans?

To quote Densho (a group cataloging Japanese American persecution in WWII): "In the 1940s, government officials and military leaders used euphemisms to describe their punitive and unjust actions against people of Japanese ancestry in the United States. The deceptiveness of that language can now be judged according to evidence from many sources [...] Today, these decades-old euphemisms persist in textbooks, news sources, and other platforms—meaning that most Americans learn about this history through a distorted lens that diminishes the harsh realities of Japanese American WWII incarceration."

I'm an author, social media director, and etymology nerd. To me, using the correct words always matters. The comfort of euphemisms has its place in society, but when those euphemisms are used to spread hate, bigotry, and cover up racism, CORRECT words are needed.

I know this stance sometimes puts me at odds with Jewish family members, and other times they are glad that I'm not trying to water down the atrocities of the past with euphemisms.

It can feel like walking a tightrope.

But if I build a bridge with my words, and I use them correctly, I can stride forward confidently.

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