A/N: Okay, so this is a relatively short chapter but there is quite a bit packed in here, and a lot of it will probably be pushed under the rug because, let's face it, that's what Derek does. As always, your feedback makes me super duper happy and I hope you like this chapter.

                                                                            ~ ~ ~

He had barely been home for half an hour but Derek was on his way out again. He was seething about what Peter had said to Stiles, how dare he bring her up? He made him swear that he would never speak of her again. After what happened, after what he made him do to her… they were never supposed to mention it again.

And how could he say something to Stiles? This had to have something to do with the talk they had the day before in the bar. God he could use a drink.

He drove manically through the streets until he made it to Peter’s place. He slammed the door of his Camaro and he pressed the intercom buzzer for his apartment.

“Yes?” Came the grainy voice of his sadistic uncle.

“It’s Derek.” He said through gritted teeth.

“What a lovely surprise.” Derek heard the door buzz and he wrenched the door open and made his way up to the floor.

When he found the room he wrapped on the door loudly, his shoulders heaving from the heavy breaths he was taking.

Peter opened the door and Derek made his move. He grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him up against the wall viciously and with the intent to do some serious maiming.

“Well good evening to you too.” Peter choked as Derek held his arm against his neck.

“Why did you tell him about Paige?!” He spat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Peter said, growing more uncomfortable as Derek pressed harder into his throat.

“Then why did he bring up her name?” He growled.

“I assumed you had already told him about her! Why wouldn’t you tell him?” Derek’s furious eyes searched his stoic uncle’s for a moment before he let him fall hard to the ground.

He walked away and paced back and forth.

“I didn’t tell him anything about her, I merely mentioned her name.” Peter said, standing up and rubbing his throat with his hand.

“You had no right. We swore we wouldn’t talk about her anymore.” Derek said, the distress in his voice very clear.

“Now Derek, you’re not worried about the old skeletons in your closet are you?” Peter mused.

“It’s nobody’s god damn business!” He yelled.

“Not even Stiles?”

“I said, nobody.” He growled.

“Funny, because from where I’m standing he seems to be getting quite close to your heart.” Derek spun around and gave him a warning growl, his eyes glowing red.

Peter put his hands up submissively. “This isn’t about Stiles.” Derek said.

“You can't lie to me Derek, I’ve known you for a long time and I know when something is getting to you, even though you’ve become just about as cold and cut off as me.”

“He is a trigger! That makes me feel something. That’s all.” Derek roared.

Peter turned his lip into a snarl. “What are you doing to him? Do you even know? Because I can see just how much he is starting to care for you and we both know that you, can't, reciprocate. You’re not capable of giving him anything more than what the trigger allows you to feel. You destroyed that part of you years ago, it died a little with Paige, and a lot more with the rest of the family. So you can watch him get hurt because of how selfish you’re being or you can give him up. Why do you think they tell you not to get involved with a trigger? Because we’re bad for them and they’re bad for us.” Derek clamped his eyes shut, not wanting to think about it.

The truth was that it was more than just a trigger, but he didn’t know to what extent those feelings survived. When the trigger wore off would he still feel the same? Or would all of his built up feelings leave him? He knew exactly how selfish he was being by staying with Stiles. He would never be able to give him everything he wanted because as painful as it was to admit, Peter was right, he had killed the part of him that was capable of feeling something. The part of him that might be able to form something real with Stiles was gone and without the trigger there was no way of knowing if he could still stand to be around him in the same way that he was now.

“You know I’m right.” Peter said arrogantly.

“If you ever bring up my past to him again, I will kill you.” Derek said, leaving Peter with one last menacing glare before storming out again.

He and Peter both knew that he had removed his ability to let someone in a long time ago. The amount of pain he had suffered at such a young age forced him to make a choice for himself that he didn’t want but knew was necessary. There was only so many crushing blows that one young man could take.

Derek headed back to his car and drove off, his whole body shaking with anger and the fear of what he was feeling and what it meant for him and Stiles. If he was honest, and if he was a good man he would let Stiles be, leave him to have a life without him. But he knew that he was selfish and he knew that the trigger wanted Stiles. So he couldn’t leave him, as much as he knew he should.

That could have been because he thought that he wasn’t a good man and was resigned to prove that fact. He knew that he deserved to feel tormented about this and that he should want to let Stiles have a better life.

So he stayed, because it made him feel impossible ecstasy to be with him, and his lows were impossibly so that it kept him grounded in reality.

Isaac –

“What’s up with Derek?” I asked Stiles as we shared a peperoni pizza in the kitchen.

He groaned and forced a rather large slice into his open mouth. “You don’t want to know.” He mumbled through all the dough and cheese.

I laughed and shook my head. “Yeah, I think I already know far too much about the two of you.”

“Your fault for living with Derek, he is freaking impossible when he wants to be.” Stiles said.

“I really don’t need to know the details of your relationship, I’m in on more than I’d like to be anyway.” Living under the same roof was definitely not the way to go to stay out of it.

“So…” Erica walked over and leant on the bench beside us. “What did you do to him Stiles?”

“Why are you so interested? Are you jealous?” Stiles replied.

“He’s my alpha, I’m curious.”

“I’m glad you didn’t say worried because I wouldn’t have believed you.” I remarked and she growled at me.

“He’s been gone for a while…” Stiles said.

“He’ll be fine.” I said.

“Would you girls stop whining in there?” Jackson called out and Allison gave him a slap on the arm. “What? You don’t have super sensitive hearing; you don’t know how annoying it is.”

“He’s got a point.” Erica said.

“Hey, why don’t you even invite Danny to these things?” Scott said to Jackson.

“Because he kind of hates you guys.”

“No he doesn’t.” Lydia said. “I’ll text him.” She pulled out her phone and Jackson growled.

“Don’t you want to share him with us?” I called over to him and he turned to give me a look that could probably kill if it were anyone other than Jackson but it gave Lydia enough time to send her text.

“Done.” She sang.

“So, what is this party of boring doing tonight?” Stiles said as he discarded his pizza crust into the other half of the box.

“Derek’s back.” I said and the rest of the pack picked up their ears along with me.

“You guys are seriously weird.” Stiles said as he walked over to the fridge.

The lift doors opened and Derek walked in carrying a box and a hard line above his eyes.

“You okay Derek?” Boyd asked as we watched Derek slide the box up onto the bench.

“If you’re taking over my house then you’re going to do it right.” He pulled out two bottles of whiskey from the box and tossed one to me and one to Boyd.

“I thought werewolves had a really high alcohol tolerance.” Stiles said, eyeing Derek worriedly.

“We do, that’s why we have these.” He pulled out another two bottles and put them on the counter before taking one last bottle and unscrewing the top to take a long swig. “Share the rest, touch this one and you’re dead.”

He strode off and headed towards the staircase before disappearing from sight.

“Maybe I should follow him…” Stiles said.

“If he wanted to talk to you I think he would have come over to see you.” Erica said, pulling out glasses from the cabinet and extending her arm to Boyd for him to pour her some whiskey.

Jackson was already up and descending on one of the other bottles. “Who cares, he got the good stuff.”

Erica took a sip from her glass and pulled a sour face before walking to the stereo to press play on someone’s music player.

I never really went to parties much, I never really had that many friends to invite me to parties. I poured out large glasses for me and Scott and Stiles filled a few cups with ice for the humans who weren’t quite as tolerant. It was going to take a lot to give me that buzz but luckily Derek had brought plenty of supplies.

He really must be in a bad way. I should make sure that he’s alright but I don’t think he’d even let me in right now. If I’ve learnt anything from being one of Derek’s betas it’s when to just leave him to his own devices and wait for him to come to you, which doesn’t usually happen anyway.

By the time Danny arrived most of us were relatively buzzed and were probably far too enthusiastic about him being here.

“Danny! My man!” Stiles walked over to greet him with an arm around his shoulder and a dopey grin on his face.

Danny looked a little freaked out but gave him a meagre smile in return before Jackson thrust a glass in his hand.

“Drink up.” He said, his smile only slightly less stupid than Stiles’.

The music was pounding but over the beat I heard footsteps coming from upstairs and making their way down the spiral steps. Derek held a half full bottle of whiskey in his hand and I saw Stiles’ eyes grow wide when he saw just how much he had drank to himself.

Everyone seemed to stop and stare as he walked down, his eyes locked on the newcomer and non-member of the pack as he took a glass from Jackson. He sauntered over, staring down his nose at Danny until he was no more than a metre from him.

“Uh… hi.” Danny said nervously.

Derek just stared at him for a moment before his face warmed to a smile, a slightly off-centre smile that comes after you drink half a bottle of whiskey in just over an hour.

“Don’t trash the place, and don’t touch the bottle,” He held up his personal supply. “Follow those rules and you can stay.”

Danny just nodded with a smile, a little confused and I think he was probably a little aroused; at least that’s what it smelt like. I’ve been living with Derek in the old house and he had Stiles around a lot, I know what arousal smells like.

Derek walked past him and slammed his lips into Stiles’ who was caught off guard and the both of them stumbled a little to the left.

Well, if Derek’s going to loosen up I guess that makes it a free-for-all right?

* * *

                It was a few hours later and there was little left of the bottles that Derek had brought back. He was sitting alone in the corner of the room, just watching everything go by, a few swigs all that remained of his whiskey.

The buzz that ran through his body was a distraction from everything he was feeling and it helped to shut down his thoughts. He just sat focussing on nothing in particular as the room around him spun wildly.

Boyd and Scott were scheming about nothing in particular, probably something to do with Jackson because in their tipsy state it seemed like a good plan to screw with him. Danny and Stiles sat up by the bench in the kitchen and Danny couldn’t stop looking over at Jackson who was starting to catch on to the antics of Scott and Boyd.

“You know you keep looking over there, you like him don’t you?” Stiles teased.

“What? No.” Danny said defensively.

“Don’t lie to me Danny boy.”

“I’m not; I just don’t know what’s going on with him lately. We used to be good friends but now…”

Stiles gave him a friendly bat on the shoulder. “He’s just a dumb jock.”

Danny smiled, “You know what’s going on with him don’t you?” He leant in close as if waiting for Stiles to whisper a secret.

“Me? No,” Stiles said.

“You do.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Stiles laughed and looked intently into the bottom of his empty glass.

“If you know something you have to tell me.” Danny smiled, his lips a little numb from the influence of the alcohol.

“Fine, you win Danny, Jackson has been acting strange because… well, because my sex-god boyfriend turned him into a werewolf and now he’s a part of their werewolf pack, but not before he turned into a lizard-monster and started terrorising the town… he’s over that now though, now he’s just a regular old shape-shifting werewolf like the rest of the pack.” Stiles sat back with satisfaction and Danny looked at him with a dropped jaw.

After a moment of bewildered staring he started to laugh. “Go home Stiles, you’re drunk.”

“Told you that you wouldn’t believe me.” He grinned and Danny laughed, completely oblivious to the fact that he couldn’t have given him more of the truth if he was sober.

Jackson walked over to them and gave Stiles a glare, most probably having heard every word of the conversation.

“Danny, do you want to dance?” He asked and Stiles collapsed onto his arms with laughter.

“Have fun!” He sang and Jackson wrapped a friendly arm around Danny’s shoulders as he dragged him over to dance with Lydia.

Isaac walked over to Stiles and whacked him over the back of the head. “Why are you such a douche?” He asked.

“He asked, it’s just lucky that he doesn’t believe in the supernatural.” Stiles shrugged.

“You’re lucky that Derek is too out of it to care.” Isaac said and the two of them looked over to where he was sitting.

He looked as though he was brooding over something important and Stiles felt compelled to talk to him, but he didn’t want to be the one to break the trance that he had going. He looked like he really needed to think.

After a few hours more they were coming down from their highs. Allison and Lydia lay side by side on the couch talking softly and Jackson and Stiles lay with their heads next to one another on the floor in the middle of the loft. The others were milling about in the kitchen.

“Truth or dare.” Stiles said.

Jackson pulled a face. “I’m not doing that.”

“Don’t be a wimp.” Stiles said back, neither of them looking at one another.

“I’m not a wimp.”

“So truth or dare.”

“Truth.” Jackson said, closing his eyes.

“Wimp.”

“Shut up, this is stupid.”

“If Danny came on to you and you weren’t with Lydia would you do it?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer it.”

“I’m not gay.”

“So? Neither was I, I was in love with your girlfriend for god’s sake.” Stiles scoffed.

Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I’d let him feel me up a bit.”

Stiles chuckled to himself. “I bet you would.”

“Shut up. Your turn.”

“To what?”

“Truth or dare asshole.”

“Dare, unlike you I’m not a wimp.” He grinned.

Jackson scrunched up his face, not being able to think of anything. “Uh…” He looked over at Derek who was now staring up at the ceiling contemplatively. Jackson smirked, “dare you to go over and blow a raspberry in his face.” He laughed to himself as he thought about it and Stiles sat up to see where he was looking.

“Are you crazy?” He said and Jackson just laughed again.

Stiles stood up and walked over to Derek. He was starting to sober up and Derek was still looking like he didn’t want to be disturbed. He walked over and looked at him for a few moments before Derek turned to him and blinked, one eye at a time.

“Don’t take this personally…” Stiles said and Derek smiled… before blowing a raspberry in Stiles’ face and laughing.

Jackson started cackling from the floor and Stiles shook his head while pursing his lips. “You’re drunk but you still have werewolf super-hearing, I get it.”

“Come on Stiles.” Derek stood up with his hand out for Stiles but stumbled forward into the coffee table and fell down onto the floor.

“Oh, god… did you drink that whole bottle?” Stiles said, looking at the empty bottle by the wall.

Scott and Isaac rushed over to pick him up and it took the both of them to hoist him up the stairs and into his bedroom.

“You all good?” Scott said to Stiles.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to tuck him in and all that stuff.” The two of them left and shut the door leaving just Derek and Stiles together.

“You want to tell me why you got yourself blind drunk tonight?” Stiles said as he sat down on the bed next to him.

Derek rolled onto his back and groaned. “You want to know about her?” He drawled.

“About who?” Stiles said.

“Paige.” He said slowly, his eyes closed and the smile slowly dissolving from his lips.

“Derek… I don’t want you to tell me about her when you’re drunk, if you want to tell me about her you can do it sober.” He whispered, climbing up onto the bed and lying beside him.

“I killed her…” He murmured.

“Derek… don’t.” Stiles put a hand on his cheek and looked down into his glassy, bloodshot eyes.

He gently brushed Derek’s lips with his own and he grunted unresponsively. His eyes opened a little more and he reached up to caress Stiles’ face with his fingertips and sighed.

“You’ve got to make me quit you Stiles.” He said softly.

Stiles felt a pain in his chest and looked away from Derek with a sigh, his eyes slowly tearing up. He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You know that there is literally nothing that I can make you do Derek.”

He smiled to himself and rolled away from Stiles drowsily.

“Stiles… you could make me do anything.” He whispered before he passed out cold.

Stiles swallowed hard and leant over to kiss his temple before lying down and pressing his body against Derek’s for what would probably be a long night.

Scott –

“Isaac…” I muttered as we lay next to one another on his bed.

He grunted at me and I sighed.

“It’s three am.” He grunted again and I laughed. “Derek clearly has some issues huh?”

“Oh yeah.” He said with a croaky voice.

I stopped for a moment and just listened to all of the sounds in the room. Isaac’s heart beat was by far the loudest, pounding rhythmically and making my eyes tired. In the room across the hall I could hear Derek’s sleeping heart beating and Stiles… Stiles was still awake based on what I could hear.

Damn, I could hear a lot.

“Hey Scott?” Isaac mumbled.

“Mm?” I waited for him to continue but he didn’t say anything. “Isaac, what is it?”

“Nothing.” He said and his heart beat got a little faster.

“No, what?” I propped myself up on my elbow to look at him.

He turned his head to look this way and he sighed. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“Isaac.” I said, prodding him in the belly and causing him to smile.

“Don’t.” He grinned and slapped me with the back of his hand.

“Isaac…” I gave him a few more prods and he laughed, shoving me back.

I grabbed him by the arms and pushed him down so he put his hands on my chest to try and push back. We laughed as he slung me down into the bed and pinned me, clearly I have had more to drink than he did. His forearm held me in place with one corner of his mouth curled up in a smile and his chest heaving.

In a matter of seconds his expression changed, he was giving me this impossible look. His heart was pounding, sweat was forming on his brow and I have no idea why. He exhaled shakily and it happened before I could stop it.

His soft lips parted mine and his fist relaxed into a soft stroking palm on my chest. My tongue reached out to taste his out of reflex and my fingers touched his wrist. Opening his mouth wider he ran the tip of his tongue over my teeth and as my body started to react to his touch I realised that in my tipsy state I had let this escalate far more than it ever should have.

I pushed him away and sat up on the edge of the bed, covering my mouth with my hand.

Isaac?

“Um, I… sorry.” I stood up and raced out of the room, shutting it behind me.

I didn’t get any further than that, I leant against the door and this time it was my own heart beat to pick up the pace. The problem isn’t that it’s going to be awkward tomorrow or that this was some drunken mistake, all of my senses were telling me one thing; this wasn’t some chance thing. I could smell it in the air and hear it in the sounds of his body and I know that he is listening to me out here.

Isaac. I thought, one second ago you were just Isaac and now… “Isaac…” I sighed.

                                                                   ~ ~ ~

A/N: Thanks for reading guys, don't forget to comment!