Its getting kinda hard to name the chapters so I'm just going to put numbers from now on.

Also yesterday was really busy for me and I wasn't able to get a chapter out, sorry!

~Author

"Dammit!  You left me! John!  You left me!" I scream at the top of my lungs.  My voice was sore as I let out a sob.

I push up against a wall on the side of my bed and I throw a pillow. It hits a sculpture on top of John's dresser and a picture of the four of us, they fall to the ground and the sculpture smashes into a million pieces on the floor.  The sound startlets me.  And I pull my knees into my chest and cry.

I hear two pairs of feet coming towards my room fast.  They bust in the door.  It was Laf and Herc.  They look at me with the saddest faces.

Laf looks like he is about to cry when he sees me.  He looks at the broken sculpture on the ground.  It was one of John's favorite.  He made it in the mandatory art class we had to take, although he loved art.  It was a sculpture of a turtle.

The come towards me and reach out there arms to hug me but I push them away.

"Non, you need to know that you are not alone.  You are not the only one that feels this way, I am more then devastated mon ami."

I give up and let them hug me.

We sit there for a while.  Laf starts to cry, and Herc has the reddest most tear filled eyes I have ever seen.

I have to admit that it is comforting and does make me feel better.

When I finally calm down and am able to see properly-the tears made my vision blurry-I get up and go try to pick up the pieces.

I pick up one and it has John's signed name.

"C-can we try to put it back together?" I ask, looking back at Laf and Herc who are watching me carefully.

"Oui,"

They get up off the bed, Laf leaves the room and gets a box and  we put all of the pieces in the box.  It wasn't broken too badly, but it definitely was going to take all of us to fix, and a lot of patience.

We end up only being able to recreate the bottom of the turtle-it took like an hour-and we would have to fix the rest later so it could dry.

"I have work to do..." I say

"Are you sure you are alright, mon ami?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I walk to my room, "Goodnight."

When I get into my room though I see the knocked over picture.  I pick it up and see the four of us.  We were at the amusement park and John wanted a picture.  We all looked so happy.  He had his hair pulled back in a low pony tail but there were still strand of the curly brown mess the were loosely flying around his face.

I smiled at this.  It was a really fun day.  I feel tears sting my eyes again, and I want to cry.  Why do I always seem to cry, I need to stay strong.  He would want me to.

I set the picture back the way that it was.

I go to sit on my bed, I look over his side of the room.  I had once walked in on John writing in a notebook.  

I wonder... 

I go over his side and open his drawer.  There are clothes and not much else, his favorite shirt was gone though.  They couldn't salvage that because he wore it the day he was shot.

I start to dig through his drawers.  Some of the clothes I had never seen him wear before, others I had seen many, many times before.

There was no sign of the journal but I wasn't giving up yet, there was still the closet in the corner of the room.  I close the drawers and go over the the closet.

It seemed there were millions of clothes hanging from the hangers.  I didn't know we even used the closet.

There were boxes on the top shelf.  I was too short to reach them so I had to get a chair.  I lost my balance and feel to the ground, the box came after me.

I wait on the ground biting my lounge as I wait for Lag or Herc to come running in and question what I am doing.

But no one comes.

I take the lid off the box and find John's high school diploma. Underneath that is the journal I was looking for.

I hear footsteps coming down the hallway and freeze completely. Not daring to even breath.

The steps stop in front of my door.

"Alex?" I hear Lag ask from the other side of the door.

"Are you sure your doing good?" Herc finished for him.

"Yeah I'm good." I say trying to keep my voice steady.

"Were going out to the store call us if you need anything..."

I don't respond and they finally leave.

I open up to the first page.

Thanks for reading!

~Author