[Pathetic Organ Music Plays]

Narrator: [Deep booming voice with echo] When we last left Betty Biome Tech, she had fallen in love with Diplomat Dashing, who promptly—

Betty struggles with a huge and very worn suitcase at the scorched doors of an old hotel. She looks up at the camera, and a blonde curl drops in her face. Betty blows at it and frowns. "Very promptly, Narrator!"

Narrator: [Clears throat] –who, very promptly, kicked her out of DS.

Betty struggles with the glass doors. Beside her is an open ambulance. Two paramedics come through the lobby with a body on a stretcher, covered with a red blanket. She drags her suitcase out of the way. They solemnly wheel the stretcher out and start to raise it. Suddenly, they scream and jump back. A woman gets up, wearing a shapeless polyester dress and tennis shoes, without hoes. "I'm free!!" [Maniacal laughter] Woman runs off, kicking her heels up in the air. A tennis shoe flies towards camera and almost hits Betty. EMT's grin at each other, load the stretcher, then one puts two pillows under a white sheet and crams the red blanket under the sheet, too. Then they run for the ambulance and take off, siren blaring.

Betty stares at this scene with a very exaggerated puzzled look, then struggles with the door again.

Her suitcase falls open, and a man rolls out. He has obviously fake twin fingers, and he wears jeans and tennis shoes with a T-shirt that says Danger Service. The logo has a pair of purple five fingered hands reaching out of the D as if to reach for help. A pair of twin-fingered hands reach out of the top of the S, with a pair of pale peach five-fingered hands reaching from the bottom of the S to clutch the top. The words Danger Service are inside a saucer shape so the hands reach out of it, too.

Betty holds up both hands. "Biome Engineer Safety! What are you doing here? Earth's poisonous to a Zheien!!"

He cries. "Bet, I fell in love with Diplomat's Aide Beautiful, and Dashing kicked me out of DS! I have no trade, so one sent me here, to sort garbage, until I earn trade to leave. May I stay with you?"

She looks up at the overhang. "Safe, they won't let a man stay with a woman! Get your own room!!"

He opens the door and his Styrofoam twin-fingered hand falls off, hanging off his wrist by a string.

Betty stares at it as she drags the suitcase after her. A bottle of shampoo rolls out. As she goes in, clothes fall out, and a can.

Safety grabs all the items and runs in and out of the door to deposit one thing at a time. Camera speeds up. Then, he holds up the can. "Gereen Be-ah-enes? Are they well for a Zheien?"

"I don't know if green beans are good for you, but you can have 'em. What did you do with my cans of barbecue and Brunswick stew?"

He shuddered. "Barbecue is meat, and would burn your absorptive chambers!! Earthans always say vegetables are good—"

"Safety, what did you do with my barbecue?!"

Safety gets a smirk and sighs. "O, Bet, your words sing!! To help you, I gave the meats to a homeless shelter—"

"What?! What do you think this place is?! I need my barbecue! All they feed poor people is green beans!!"

Safety looks at the can and tosses it over his shoulder. "Then, you nae need—" The sound of broken glass startles both of them.

A security guard comes up. "If you're finished with those green beans, can I have 'em?"

"Uh, yeah!" Betty cowers.

The guard runs out. There are sounds of a struggle off-camera. "I asked for those first, Slopfah!"

"Who ya callin' Slopfah, Slopfah? I saw 'em first!"

"Slopfah, I asked for 'em first, Slopfah Slopfahi!!"

"I'll raise yer Slopfah and call ya Slopfah Slopfah Slopfahi!"

"Well, I'll take that can and call both of ya Slopfah and Slopfah, Inc."

[Fight Sounds Increase]

[Zapping Sounds Added]

"Ow! He's got a ray gun!! Let 'im have 'em—"

[Cannon fire]

Betty and Safety hold onto each other as they stagger from side to side. A ceiling tile cracks and dumps white powder on their heads. Betty looks at the powder on her hand. "AAAAAAAAHHHH! Asbestos!! I've been exposed to—"

Another security guard runs up and touches the powder. Sniffs it. "Nah, that's just talcum powder."

"In the ceiling?!"

"Well, City of Atlanta bought this hotel after it caught on fire, but we don't know much about the previous tenants. This way, please—"

"What about the fight outside?"

He shrugged. "Happens all the time here. You should see Elshar Mashai, where I came from...."

Next scene, words at the bottom corner say TWO HOURS LATER. Betty and Safety look bored as they stand at a counter across the lobby from the broken tile. A Zheien with neon blue skin tries to sweep the tile into a tiny dustpan.

"...and I hardly knew where I was! They brought me here and gave me this uniform. 'Here! You look tough, you can be our security guard.' And that's how I came to be Merit Place's first security guard. Now I need to read you the rules."

Betty and Safety look at the camera with exasperated looks.

The guard waves at an empty space on the counter. Next scene shows him with his hand in the air, and an old computer monitor has rules scrolling up, black on white, in very big letters. "First Rule of Merit Place. Be here before 6 pm. Second Rule of Merit Place. Doors are locked at 6 pm. Third Rule of Merit Place. Visitors must come to see you after 6pm. Fourth—"

Betty holds up a hand. "But, how can visitors get in?"

He laughed. "Oh, you'll have to wait until I get to Five-Hundred Seventy-Seventh Rule of Merit Place! Fourth Rule of Merit Place. Don't Eat Anything But Our Food. Fifth Rule of Merit Place. Don't Exceed Your Food Allowance."

Safety unwraps a chocolate bar and starts to take a bite. Guard waves, and next scene, he bites air. "Didn't you hear what I just said? Don't eat anything but our food!"

"Sorry, Guard. I have hunger. When can we eat?"

He frowned. "I haven't given you the Rules of Merit Place yet. When I finish, I'll give you gray sweats and a terminal."

"I wait."

Rules like 'FRIENDS MUST HAVE A PERMIT TO VISIT. DO NOT ALLOW FRIENDS TO COME INSIDE MERIT COLONY. HAVE THEM MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SOCIAL WORKER. SOCIAL WORKER IS HERE FROM 9AM TO 5PM.' scroll on the screen.

Next scene, Safety has smudges on his yellow face to suggest 5 o'clock shadow. Betty's hair is very unkempt, and she slumps and sways as she listens. Safety sways left with her, then they sway right. A woman comes and unlocks an office behind them.

"...and the last rule is, ASK A SOCIAL WORKER IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. Here she is, now!"

They start to run after her, but she slams the door in their faces.

Guard motions for them to come back. "You have to make an appointment in advance, as in Rule 36 Of Merit Place. Here are your sweats." He waves in front of each of them, and a folded gray sweatsuit appears on the counter. Safety holds up the top with a puzzled look. He drops it and waves. Nothing happens.

"Oh, you have to use a clothing former. There's one in each of your terminals." Another wave, and an old 13" TV set appears in front of each of them.

Safety smiles. "O, this is much bigger than my old terminal at home!" Then he frowns. "How must I fit it in my pocket?"

Guard shrugs. "Read your menus! Here are your keys. Miss, you are in 3607, and you, Sir, are in 3606." He puts keys with huge white handwritten tags on top of the TVs.

Betty throws the sweats in her suitcase and zips it. Then she puts the key in her mouth and throws an arm over the TV. "Where's the elevator?"

"Oh, it's broken. Stairs are that way." He points to a door with a handmade sign that says STARS.

Betty rolls her eyes and kicks her suitcase. It falls open again. "Novas! Can you carry that for me, Safe? Zheien are stronger than Earthans!! I'm tired."

He starts to pick it up, and the woman comes out of her office. "Betty Biome Tech, you are late to Job Program! Down that hall in room 1. Safety Engineer Biome, you are late to Job Program! Follow her!"

"Yes, Sir!" He salutes and gathers Betty's things.

"I'm not a sir! That's redlines for both of you!" She digs in her huge purse and gets a lipstick. Draws horizontal lines on each of their TVs.

"But, everyone is sir in Danger Service." When Betty and Safety say 'Danger Service', the Danger Service theme plays and they stare into the camera.

Social Worker draws a horizontal line on his forehead. "In case you haven't noticed, this is Merit Place." As the three of them say 'Merit Place', there is pathetic organ music, and a lady screams in the background.

Safety opens the door and holds it in place as he gathers TV and suitcase. He keeps dropping the sweats, and her suitcase falls open. As he runs after the bottle of shampoo, he lets go of the door, and Betty screams. Quickly, he gathers stuff.

In the next scene, they are in a gray stairwell. Betty stares at her hand in horror. Gray powder covers it. "There's probably lead in this paint!!"

Safety puts his hand over it and hums. Her hand is clean when she looks down. "What did you do? My head hurts."

"Mine also. Should we go?"

"Go where?" They look at their keys and slowly walk up. A sign at the next landing says 2.

Next scene shows 5 on the door, and three drunks come out. "Oooooh! A womaaaaaan! And a Zheieeeeeeen!!" They look both of them up and down.

Betty rolls her eyes and swats one with her TV. Safety carefully puts the suitcase and TV down, then holds the rail and swats the other two down with his feet. Then they ignore the groans as they trudge up stairs.

Subsequent scenes show them kicking men down the stairs as they carry their stuff up, without a glance. Each one has all of the actors moving more slowly, and it is the same scene, just slower, each time.

Finally, they reach the door for the 36th Floor, and it's locked. Scenes show them going down stairs and kicking men down the stairs as they go.

Scenes show them going up, with security guard, and he joins them in kicking men down the stairs who come up behind them. They go slower and slower.

The security guard wipes sweat off his face, then rubs it on the key. Unlocks the door. "There you are! Enjoy your stay in—" They all look at the camera. "—Merit Place!" Along with the pitiful organ theme, there is the sound of fighting and screams. It stops when the music does.

They go to two doors. Betty easily opens hers, but the doorknob falls off with a clang. Safety can't get his open, so he wipes his key on Betty's face as she struggles, then he unlocks his. He leaves his TV with sweats piled on top in the doorway. Takes the suitcase into Betty's room. There is a bunk bed, desk, and chair, and the sound of the suitcase echoes. A window shows a brick building with graffiti like ZHEIEN GO HOME! ELSHAR GO HOME! ERTHAN GO HOM!

Social Worker appears and gets down on the floor to draw another red line on Safety's TV. "One more redline, and I'll have to lock you out."

"Oh, I am sorry, Sir!"

She draws another one. The next scene shows Safety trying to open the front door, and the guard shaking his head. Those same three drunks stagger over and look him up and down. He gasps and runs away with them chasing him.

Betty runs to the window. "Safe! Who'll fix my door, now?"

Same three drunks look her up and down, and close the door.

Social worker appears between terrified Betty and the three. She draws a red line on each of their foreheads with her lipstick. Frowns at it. "Novas! I'll have to get another lipstick tomorrow." She waves.

The three drunks appear outside, where Safety is just walking back. They see him, and chase him again.