a note from your lovely author; okay, ive never really written things this sad before. im usually a bright person, so if it comes out a bit odd, im sorry qwq. it'll be a challenge writing for kyoko, but i'm confident! this is a request for kirigirix <3! tysm for the request!

warnings; well,,, uh,,,, depressed and suicidal. there will be lots of dark tones, please take my warning. the ending gets better though :))

~~~

~~~

~~~

there lay in front of you was a dead body. the body of a masked human, who's identity remained unknown. you wanted to let out a scream, but nothing came out. your heart was racing, but your face had shown no emotion of the situation. you've finally came to understood that you didn't care. this... place had taken you from all you had ever known or cared about. no one here cared, or at least cared about you. you threatened to end your own life on multiple accords, which only aoi, chihiro, sakura, hifumi, and another kid you didn't care for. and now almost all these people are dead. what was there left to live for...?

you sighed, looking back at the dead body. suddenly, a hand was placed on your shoulder, making you loose thought. looking over, you saw the face of kyoko kirigiri. a close friend of makotos, a acquaintance of yours. you didn't realize you probably had bags under your eyes from staying up so long, but kyoko didn't care. "what happened here?" she calmly asked.

"it's a dead body." you pointed out.

"i noticed." she murmured back, sounding as monotone as you did. 

kyoko did some studying around the body, glancing at you from time to time. she got back up and wrote down something in a book. you were about to ask her something, but then suddenly, the door to the garden slammed open. byakuya, toko, yasuhiro, aoi, and makoto came rushing into the room. you glanced at kyoko... or... what used to be kyoko... she wasn't there anymore, she just disappeared into thin air as soon as the door opened. h-ho.... how....? 

you shook your head a bit, trying to keep yourself from falling asleep. you could tell byakuya was trying to talk to you, but you could pick up no words. in less than a minute, everyone had surrounded around you, mouths moving with no words coming out. your head began hurting, giving you a massive headache as you went to blink. that blink was long. and then you fell. 

~~~

you woke up in your room, all lights off except for your bathroom light. you blinked once, feeling a bit more refreshed than before, and then it hit you. you sat up in your bed in a flash, thinking about the dead body, the class trial, and.... kyoko. you weren't sure why, but your mind always ended up thinking about her in the end, you wondered so. 

you rubbed your eyes, yawning as the warmth of the bed tempted you to lay back down and go to sleep. but instead, you got up and stretched, looking over to the blue notepad that was left on the desk. you smiled a bit, remembering what you wrote on the paper.

your suicide letter.

you didn't want to live in this hell hole, it was bad enough that your life outside sucked, except for your family. reaching out to grab the notebook, you prepared yourself to read over the depressing stuff you wrote. but instead of a suicide letter, everything you wrote was scratched out, something else was written in the clear space at the bottom.

'dear, (y/n)

even though you don't believe it, there are many reasons to keep living. committing suicide will only cause stress on other people, while some people here believe that with you gone, we might not be able to escape the school. please, keep your head up for me, keep safe, don't hurt yourself.

sincerely, kyoko kirigiri'

you didn't notice it until you finished the letter, but you were crying. a little puddle of tears built up on the paper. so many mixed emotions welled up inside you, the one that overcame the others one was anger. with a shout, you ripped the paper off of the notebook and crumpled it up, throwing it at the wall. "leave me alone! you can't tell me how to live my life! this is stupid, so stupid!" 

you sat on your bed, bawling. the stress and emotions that the small letter gave you made you so confused. "god damnit kyoko, why..." you said softly, wishing she wasn't the one who found out about your letter. to be truthful, you kind of liked kyoko. now, the feelings weren't overcome by depression, but it was there. your stomach churned in hunger, interrupting your thoughts. you didn't want too, but you could feel your legs pulling you up to stand. you lazily made your way to the cafeteria, dried up tears staining your face.

when you entered the cafeteria, there sitting down enjoying a cup of tea was kyoko kirigiri herself. she looked up to you as you entered, giving you a comforting glance. your face heated up a bit, but you hid those emotions away and made your way to the kitchen without even saying anything. inside was food, but your eyes caught something more interesting. the knife that sat untouched on the counter. it was tempting. you were about to reach for the knife, just to play with it, until you heard the door slam open. "(y/n)! stop whatever your doing!"

you turned around in a flash, seeing kyoko rush to your side and past you, grabbing the knife and putting it back on it's place on the wall. she looked at you and sighed, "were you going to hurt yourself, even after i wrote that letter on your notebook?" kyoko was able to say all this without any change in her voice, but you could tell she was distraught. 

"yes." that was all you were going to say. 

kyoko grabbed your hand, which surprised you. she usually didn't interact with people like this, it confused you. "(y/n)..." she started. "i... i don't want you to hurt yourself, if you hurt yourself... i... i wouldn't know what to do..." her voice quivered now, her eyed were welled up. 

"this isn't like you kyoko..." you sighed, wanting to pull away from her touch. but you didnt.

"i know.. i'm sorry. things are going on, but i cannot talk about it. it's... personal." kyoko really seemed like she wanted to tell you something, but she hid it. you soon forgot that you and kyoko were in the kitchen, waiting off a investigation. 

"i understand," you laughed a small bit. it felt weird too, it's been so long since you laughed. "but kyoko, what happened to the investigation? where is everyone else?" you asked.

"oh, i finished my investigation, everyone else is taking their time with the body." what she said made your ears perk. 

"actually, who got killed this time?" you said with a bit of interest.

"i... hm... murkuro ikusaba. the one known as the ultimate despair, or so i thought. she was killed." kyoko pushed the strand of purple hair out of her face, looking a bit flustered. 

you rubbed your arm, feeling a bit ashamed you were asleep the whole time. "i-i got to go investigate now, before the class trial starts." you sighed, walking your way to the door. a bit of worry flooded your mind, you understood what the consequences for not attending a class trial would be...

but before you could open the door, a bell rang off. the monitor flashed on, showing monokuma's face. damn that bear, he must have been watching on the monitors! he called everyone to the elevator, and shut off, leaving you shaking. "well... too late...i can't believe it, i don't know whats going on... i'm going to die. i'm going to cause everyone to loose faith in me, no one will want me around, i'm a failure, i'm going to cause them to die, i'm-!" you stopped after you felt kyoko brush against you. tears were starting to form in your eyes because of your worry and stress.

"calm down (y/n), i'll inform you about the case while we make our way to the door, please, calm down..." kyoko assured you, holding your hand slightly. you nodded, feeling a single tear run down your face. "and by the way, i don't appreciate your tone. (y/n), we would never blame anything on your. i wouldn't blame anything on you, i care about you..." she said.

you tightened your grip on her hand, maybe a bit too hard than you should have, but she didn't care. "kyoko i-"

"no, don't start. all i wanted to do was to make you happy, make everyone here happy. i wanted to help you... i think so much about you, more than...." she trailed off, voice and face stern as it could be. you were amazed at how well she concealed her emotions in her face. but then kyoko did something you wouldn't expect, even from some one like her. she hugged you. she buried her face in the crook of your neck, hands wrapped around your waist as to make sure you wouldn't leave her side. "please, stay with me..."

so many mixed emotions filled you once again, but the one that powered them all this time... was hope. hope of a future, that things would get better, even after all the despair you were put through. "i will kyoko, i'll stay by your side, i wont leave you." you murmured very softly, but loud enough for her to hear. you quickly returned the hug and pulled away, seeing her teared up face..

"i'm sorry, this is... so unprofessional of me. i-" kyoko started, but then, you cut her off. your hand was pressing her head up as you kissed her. it was soft, everything you ever dreamed of if you ever though you were to kiss a girl. you pulled away, smiling a bit.

"we have to go now... people are going to wonder where we are..." you muttered, holding kyoko's hand in yours. 

"your right... come on."

and so you and kyoko walked out of the kitchen, hand in hand. you felt emotions that were new, ones that you never thought you would share with kyoko kirigiri. she gave you so much hope of a new life, you could change. stop your suicidal ways, because someone new entered you life. 'so this is how it's going to start... in this despair filled hole... i could only wish, me and kyoko escape together... because... i love her.'

~~~

~~~

~~~

okAY IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE!!!!!!!!! I WAS BUSY PLE A S E FORGIVE ME!!! at first i wasn't sure if this would turn out well, but once i got to the kitchen part i really got interested in the story, i hope u all like it!!