REQUESTED BY: Imhere379

A/N: And now, your daily dose of angst with these two. Enjoy this extremely long chapter!

(Obviously this isn't going to follow canon fully, but all you need to know is that things are the same up until the Kamukura project: whereas in canon Hajime was transformed into Izuru, here Hajime was split into two: Izuru and Hajime. It'll be further explained in the oneshot.)

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The first time (y/n) met Hajime Hinata, she fell deep in love with him.

He was a Reserve student and she was a main course, but that didn't matter -- she often made excuses to go and see him during lunch hour, even if only for a few minutes.

It didn't matter if he didn't exactly know her that well or if he even reciprocated her feelings; just seeing him and being with him was enough to sate her hunger for more. Or at least, it was for a while.

Pretty soon the two came closer and closer together. The more Hajime seemed to like her, the happier she was -- and then came the day when she went to see him and was informed (rather unkindly) by another Reserve student that he dropped out of the program.

(y/n) was heartbroken. She cried nearly every night since he left, desperately wondering where she went wrong. Still, as the months wore on, she forced herself to put on a happy face for her friends. She was, after all, the Ultimate Show Hostess; if she didn't smile, her audience would grow worried.

And then came the day when she met him: Izuru Kamukura.

That was the day her entire world was crushed.

The Parade was in full swing on campus, and the majority of the Main Course students were either dead or missing. Her own teacher had instructed her friends to barricade themselves into the classroom while he tried to fend off the rioters, but half an hour had gone by and the raucous screaming still hadn't stopped from below.

Her friends had begun to panic when she volunteered to go looking for him. She knew it was stupid (and was vigorously demanded to stay), but she had grown too worried and needed to find another safer place for them to hide, should the rioters make it up the stairs.

No sooner than when she stepped into the stairwell did she run into an unfamiliar young man, about her age, with long, trailing black hair and the most piercing ruby eyes she'd ever seen. When he stared her down with that bored gaze, it felt as if he were reading her whole soul: every thought, every hope, every dream she had was on full display, and his stare made her feel naked.

He looked her up and down for a moment before humming in thought. "(y/n)..."

"Who are you?" She demanded shakily. "You don't look like an Ultimate..."

Instead of answer, he stepped past her and walked on up.

"H- hey!" She exclaimed. "Wait! I still don't know your name!"

He paused on the stair, not looking back. "Kamukura Izuru."

Without another word, he continued on, leaving her dumbfounded in the stairwell.

As soon as her ears caught the sounds of the rioters coming up the stairs, she panicked and followed after him.

On the way, her phone buzzed rapidly in her skirt pocket. When she fished it out, she found frantic texts from her friends, each one more unintelligible until they faded into strings of letters.

THEYRE HERE (Y/N)

NONONONONONO

HELDLDFAHDPP USSLDJKFDWH

ALDSKFJO234-230!()#)

Tears blurred her vision as she pocketed the phone, and when she found the door to the roof she let out a sob.

Her knees buckled for a moment, but she used all of her strength to push it open...

... and found three people already there.

One of the girls from the newer classes turned to the terrified upperclassman with a predatory smile. "Oho? Who's this...?"

The girl, Junko, as it turned out, was the one responsible for the rioters. After going into a lengthy monologue about hope and despair and how she wanted to watch the world crumble to dust, she ordered Mukuro to knock her out. By the time she came to, she was in an unfamiliar bedroom, the windows obscured with thick boards across them, and the man with red eyes staring at her from the darkness.

She spent her first days in the room terrified and lonely, begging him to let her go and to let her see her friends. When he very bluntly told her that they were dead, she couldn't stop crying until she exhausted herself into an uneasy sleep.

Izuru was a blunt man, but he seemed patient with her. Whenever she awoke, he was in the room, and to her knowledge he didn't leave until well after she fell asleep. Sometimes he came with food, other times he came with clothing, likely stolen, and escorted her to a connecting bathroom to force her to bathe.

(y/n) was completely lethargic and depressed and couldn't even muster the strength to care as he delicately undressed her and had her stand under a spray of warm water. She didn't care when he brushed his fingers through her hair to get rid of the grease and grime. She didn't care when he sat her on the edge of the bed after dressing her in someone else's clothes, working a brush through her hair.

As emotionally-drained as she was, she soon found herself looking forward to spending time with him. He didn't say much, but he listened when she spoke. He was gentle when he touched her. Most of all, he didn't have the same creepy aura that Junko and Mukuro had. Unnervingly, his aura was totally empty, as if he were a husk of a human.

This didn't deter her from making a connection with him. She found herself growing more and more attached to him, lighting up when he walked into the room and asking for little implements here and there; a book and pencil to write her thoughts in, maybe on a rare occasion a treat she recalled from her life before, even just asking questions about what he liked or hated. He was patient enough with her, answering her questions and watching her write them down in the notebook he'd surprised her with one day.

One day, though, trouble arrived in the form of a painfully-familiar boy.

One evening, after Izuru had brought a simple dinner to her bedroom, there came a faint bang from somewhere else. Izuru immediately got to his feet and ordered her to stay put as he swept through the door.

(y/n) remained patiently, anxiously chewing her sandwich.

After a few minutes, he returned -- and had an unconscious form in his grasp, one with familiar brown hair.

(y/n) got to her feet with a gasp. "Hajime--!"

"He has no memory of you," Izuru replied, carrying the boy to the chair near her bed. "I have the memory. Thanks to the procedure, he was considered defective and imprisoned somewhere else in the laboratory. Someone must have let him out."

(y/n)'s eyes filled with tears when she learnt of her crush's fate. As she brushed the hair from his eyes, she noticed the scars on his head. "What did they do to you, Hajime?" She whispered.

Izuru watched as she doted over the boy, quietly collecting the tray and leaving.

Hajime didn't awaken until the next morning. When he did, he was nervous and scared.

He immediately went to a corner and demanded to know who she was and why he was there -- and when she tried explaining, he became convinced she was lying. (y/n) was in tears by the time Izuru arrived with breakfast. At the sight of his clone, Hajime became angry and demanded to know what was going on.

"Calm down," Izuru ordered. "You escaped from your cell, so I brought you here so that you will have human company."

He set the tray down on the bed, and as (y/n) ate her portion, Hajime slowly got up. He hesitantly approached, but when the girl offered food, he withdrew.

"Give him time, he's traumatized," Izuru said to her dejected form. "It's likely whoever else was here was not kind to him."

It took weeks for the boy to warm up to her. By the time he did, he learnt of his missing memories, both from her and from Izuru. It frustrated him to no end to realize that he couldn't remember her at all, but was placated with the fact that he was making new memories.

Izuru watched this all with an unreadable face, and neither party grew privy to his true feelings about the situation.

Instead of feeling happy, he was irritated.

Izuru had retained all of Hajime's memories of the time before and had immediately recognized her when he bumped into her at the stairwell -- and had strived to protect her from Junko's deranged madness. Bringing her to the secure location was meant to be a way to cultivate a new relationship with her, one untainted by the chains of 'Ultimate' or 'Reserve', one where they could simply be themselves... even if he technically qualified as an Ultimate himself.

For the life of him, though, he couldn't quite recall how he came to be with this form; he had no memory of accepting any kind of procedure, only that he fell asleep one day and awoke in a strange location with a talent, or rather, talents. As far as he knew, he had been born and raised as Izuru Kamukura, coming to Hope's Peak to achieve his dreams. Only Hajime had the answers, and even mentioning talent had him growing red with rage. So far, they hadn't been able to pry it out of him.

He was Izuru Kamukura, and (y/n) was the girl who visited him every day. (y/n) was the girl he'd fallen in love with. What use did he have with someone who only recalled the bitter parts?

Watching her dote over his counterpart made ugly jealousy rear its head, and he bitterly wished it away. He wanted her full love again, one that they'd had before the Parade, but he couldn't get rid of Hajime now. She'd grown too attached to him, and the boy was still skittish enough around him that if he tried anything, he would likely regret it later.

So there he remained, watching the girl he loved dote upon another, one that took her feelings (as far as he thought) for granted.

The one thing Hajime knew was hatred.

Ever since he accepted the damn procedure to give him a talent, all he knew was hate. His prior memories, all of them, faded away, except for the day he was taken to a secret underground laboratory and stripped of his previous name and identity, only to serve as the vessel for their so-called 'Ultimate Hope'.

Well, needless to say, that failed spectacularly.

Instead of one, they ended up with two -- Izuru, who received the talent, and Hajime, who remained with none. They quickly took away the black-haired boy and left him to rot in a cell far away from any interaction, only kept alive with food. Anyone who did visit him did the bare minimum and wouldn't give him the time of day.

Hajime learnt to hate people. He hated them so much that he wanted to kill them all.

People turned their backs on them when he couldn't give them what they wanted. People ignored him when he craved companionship. People hated him and spoke his name only in the context of disgust.

So when he finally escaped the cell one day and promptly ran into the one responsible for his suffering, he only saw red. The last thing he remembered was lunging at the Hope before everything went black, and when he awoke, he was face-to-face with an unfamiliar, worried-looking girl.

She's going to hate you, his inner voice hissed. She's not trustworthy! Stay away!

In the beginning, it was easy to hate her too. Despite all of her concern (it's such a fake act, the voice whispered again), it was easy to despise the one he didn't know. It was easy to despise her for the sole reason that she consorted with his perfect other half.

But as time wore on and she continued to worry over him, he found his hatred giving way to confusion. Why wasn't she ignoring him? Why didn't she hate him? What was her goal?

Instead of hate, Hajime grew attached. Since they shared the same room, they were near each other nearly every hour of the day. She seemed just as desiring of human contact as he, and even though his disgustingly-talented other half spent as much time with her as he could, he found himself depending on her.

Before long, he found himself falling in love.

One morning, Izuru walked into the room with a small cake on a tray along with their breakfast.

"It's been three years since I first took you here," he explained to the girl. To both of them, he continued, "You both should be twenty."

"I'm... I'm twenty already?" (y/n) whispered, horrified. "I missed my eighteenth birthday? Graduation? University?"

"How do you know how old I am?" Hajime asked, suspicious.

"I am you." Izuru replied blandly. "We are twenty by now."

"This is..." she exhaled. "What's going on in the outside world right now?"

"As of now, Junko Enoshima is long dead," he told her plainly. "It still isn't safe to leave yet, but I'll let you know when it is."

"What is... outside?" Hajime asked.

(y/n) gasped, turning to him. "You... don't remember what that's like?"

He shook his head.

"Oh, it's-- it's beautiful," she replied. "The sky is blue, there's this big white ball in the sky called the sun that keeps everything warm in the daytime, and at night it's replaced with another white ball called the moon. There's lakes and rivers and grassy meadows, and trees that change foliage with the seasons..."

"I... don't know what any of that is."

Her eyes filled with tears as she hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Hajime," she whispered. "When we get out, I'll teach you about what everything is, okay?"

He was startled by the sudden affection, but patted her back and nodded. "O... okay."

Izuru stood there without a word, his grip tightening on the tray.

Finally, one day Izuru told them that it was safe to go outside.

(y/n) practically bounced with joy as she got on a pair of socks and shoes that Izuru lent her, and Hajime was given a shirt, pants, and his own pair of socks and shoes (since he only had a hospital gown and boxer shorts).

(y/n) walked between them, both boys hand-in-hand with her. When they stepped outside, the dust in the sky made her start to cough.

Her eyes watered as she blinked, squinting. "Wh... what's happened?"

"This is a result of Despair," Izuru said gravely, staring at the affected landscape.

Hajime looked around in confusion. "Where's the... blue sky? And the sun? And grass?"

"This... this isn't right! This is wrong, all wrong!" She exclaimed. "You're telling me that the world went straight to hell in only three years? Izuru, what's happened?!"

"Despair ravaged the whole world and left it... like this." He gestured to the torn-up grounds of the school, the buildings standing broken and dreary against the reddish-gray sky. Clouds gathered above, obscuring the sun. There was no grass; instead it was piles of mud and dirt, marred with thousands of footprints.

"Can't we do something to get it back to the way it was?" She whispered, gripping his hand desperately.

"All we can do," he responded quietly, "is wait."

A little bit after that, Izuru instructed them to take all they owned and follow him. They didn't question him, even as he led them across the hellish landscape and off of the campus, leaving the destruction and bodies behind.

As soon as they entered the nearby city, he stopped and waited.

Soon enough, two people appeared from behind a building: a young man and woman, both in suits.

"Izuru Kamukura!" The young man greeted with a sunny smile. He looked familiar enough, but (y/n) couldn't pinpoint who he was.

Hajime remained mostly-hidden behind her, gripping her hand tightly.

"I've come to surrender all three of us into your custody," he spoke cordially.

"Alright, we've already got rooms for you ready." The young man turned to (y/n). "Do you remember me, (l/n) (y/n)?"

"No..." She frowned, tilting her head. "Were you at Hope's Peak, by any chance?"

"I was in the class after yours," he explained with a chuckle. "I'm Naegi Makoto, graduate of Class 78. This is my classmate and friend, Kirigiri Kyoko."

Suddenly, it clicked, and she gasped. "Kirigiri?! As in..."

"Yes, I am the principal's daughter." She nodded primly. "It's good to see that you're safe."

"To you as well," she nodded earnestly. "We've got some catching up to do! I'm afraid I've been a little... sheltered."

"And that's fine," Makoto replied with a patient smile. "C'mon, I'll explain the bigger points of interest in the car."

By that evening, (y/n) and Hajime were freshly-bathed, in freshly-laundered clothes, and they were in connecting rooms -- but Izuru was nowhere to be found.

"We're just getting a clearance from the Foundation on what to do with him," Makoto had explained with a sympathetic smile. "You'll see him soon, I promise."

She'd accepted it begrudgingly, but thankfully she had Hajime for comfort.

When three days had passed and there was no word of her friend, she grew more worried.

"Where is he?" She asked that morning as she and Hajime walked to the cafeteria for breakfast.

Aoi paused in eating to exchange worried glances with Yasuhiro (a goofy man who always insisted he saw good things in her future). Finally, she put down her chopsticks and gestured to take a seat.

Once they both did, she gave (y/n) a sad sigh. "I'm really sorry, (y/n). The Foundation insisted that he stand trial for the crimes he helped oversee. Izuru is in custody for right now and awaiting a hearing with the Foundation board. I was hoping to tell you as soon as the paperwork was ready to have you and Hinata-san as witnesses, but..."

"What? No, no he hasn't committed a crime!" She insisted. "He was so kind to me, to us! He can't be a criminal, he just can't!"

"There are lots of things you don't know, (y/n)," Yasuhiro said quietly.

Hajime gripped her hand as she shook her head and insisted. "There's no way! I can't believe this is happening. Izuru is not a bad person!"

All she got were stares of pity.

On the day that Izuru stood trial before the Foundation council, she and Hajime were ordered to give detailed testimony on what happened between them during the three years they were missing. (y/n) bravely spoke as clearly as she could, but at the end of her testimony she had to excuse herself to compose herself. While not having as much of a connection as she did, Hajime testified too that he treated them fairly.

It did quite a bit to sway the council members, who inevitably ruled that Izuru was to be put on probation. While he was allowed to see (y/n) and Hajime, they had to be supervised, and they could only visit him during specific hours.

(y/n) was desolate, spending every moment of her visits sitting with him and showing him the notebooks he'd given her, telling him of everything they'd have to do when he was able to leave. He stared at her like always, although now his eyes were soft and sympathetic.

One day while visiting him, she broke down and confessed something.

"I love you, Izuru," she wept into his shirt. "I care about you so much it hurts."

His only answer was a gentle kiss.

Unfortunately, Hajime inevitably heard about the confession. Just like that, he grew sullen and irritated with her, no matter how hard she tried to get him to fess up on what was wrong.

All this time I've loved her, and she just throws my feelings away? He thought to himself angrily as he paced about his room. I should've known she was like the rest of them. She never cared about me! She just wanted someone to talk to so that she wouldn't go crazy!

One day, he snapped.

"I'VE LOVED YOU FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN YOU," he roared in her face. "YET YOU LOVE THAT EMOTIONLESS PRICK MORE THAN ME! YOU PLAYED WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE I KNEW YOU WOULD!"

She burst into tears when he slammed the door in her face, uncaring of her distress.

It took a whole week before he would speak to her again, and when he did, it wasn't his choice.

(y/n) had gotten depressed again, so much so that the Foundation members feared for her health. She had been in medical for a while so that they could keep tabs on her, and one day Byakuya knocked on his door and ordered him to go visit her.

"She's been damn miserable, and if you don't work things out I will personally make sure you end up in medical yourself so that you cannot put it off any further!" He threatened.

As soon as Hajime reluctantly dressed, he was escorted to her room.

She was drowsing when they arrived, but when Byakuya told her about her company, she became more alert.

Hajime awkwardly took a seat next to her bed as she looked at him in relief and sorrow.

"Hajime, before you start, I never, ever wanted to play with your feelings," she said. "I didn't want to hurt you at all; that's why I never brought up much of our past together."

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Even though you don't have any memory of a time before Izuru's creation, you went to Hope's Peak as a member of the Reserve Course, while I was an Ultimate." She let out a shaky sigh. "I... I was in love with you. When I got the news that you dropped out of the program, I was devastated."

His brow furrowed, but he didn't say a word.

"Eventually, I found you again... and imagine my utter luck when you don't remember me at all." She laughed mirthlessly. "So I kept my feelings back. But... but I've loved you all this time. Except now I have love for Izuru too."

"You aren't lying to me?"

"I would never lie to you," she responded tiredly. "I love you too much, Hajime."

All at once, he was overwhelmed with her words. He stood from the chair and excused himself to think about it.

But instead of going back to his room, he headed straight for Izuru's isolation cell.

Once he was let in (and the guard was standing vigilantly at the door), he hissed, "Tell me how we knew (y/n)."

Izuru looked up at him, unreadable as always. "You know how. I have your memories of Hope's Peak. That includes her."

"Yes but how?" He exclaimed. "How did we-- how did I feel about her? Why did I leave her behind?!"

Izuru gave pause for a moment, before answering quietly. "You loved her. You loved her so much that you accepted the experiment so that you could transfer in to the main course to be with her."

He went to bed that night confused and conflicted. As much as he tried, he just couldn't muster up a single memory -- not a trace of his life before he agreed to the experiment. Not a name, not a face, not even anything except for his own identity.

In her bed in the medical ward, (y/n) cried herself to sleep. Her heart ached with hurt, a pain that she could not soothe. Have I just destroyed everything?

In his isolation cell, Izuru pondered to himself. Maybe he and Hajime weren't as different as he thought. While he had loved the girl since before the Tragedy, Hajime had fallen in love with her just as he had re-fallen for her -- her kindness had drawn them both in. And yet it seemed that kindness and hesitance to hurt had broken things further.

Three people, caught in a messy love affair, lay in their beds, hoping for the day that everything could change for the better.

--

A/N: OOF. I literally went into this thinking "Oh this is gonna be a crisp 1-2K!" LMAO HOW WRONG I WAS.

I'm probably gonna stop for the night now. This was a wild ride and I'm just kinda sleepy.

Please tell me what you thought, feel free to request more, and I'll see you guys later!