Akira x Willow

Akira was crying in a corner over her brother's death when she felt someone patting her head.

"Feel my concern." Willow said emotionlessly.

Akira gasped, jumping up and hugging Willow. "YOU'RE THE NICEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!!!!!"

"Oh. Okay then." Willow stood there awkwardly.

"Marry me. Now." Akira demanded.

Willow shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

They then got married. No one came because they did it immediately.

Satchiko x Riku

It was a normal day at Hope's Peak, and Satchiko noticed Riku being neglected by the author again. She ran over to him, hugging him tight. "You poor child. Don't worry, I hog all the screen time, so if I'm with you you'll be noticed!"

"W-what are you talking about? Are you okay?" Riku asked, not knowing he's a fictional character.

Satchiko giggled. "Oops. Sorry, I'm just confusing you." She pulled back. "You're cute by the way. So smol too. From now on you are my child."

Riku gave her a weird look but decided to just accept it. "Okay then...."

"I'd make out with you but you're gay and I have a girlfriend." Satchiko sighed. "Life is so unfair."

She then went and made out with Kaiya, leaving Riku to be neglected once more.

Jikkō x Michio

(Tbh I could actually make this one canon and it would fit with the prequel--)

It was a cold, winter morning when Jikkō entered the school, and though she had bundled up she still found herself chilled to the bone. She headed to her locker, entering the combination before opening it. As the assassin took her scarf and coat off, hanging them inside, she heard footsteps approaching her. Jikkō was well aware of this fact, and focused on the sound without stopping what she was doing. She was able to change into her school shoes before the boy now next to her spoke up.

"It's cold out there, isn't it?" He said with a light chuckle.

Jikkō closed her locker, facing Michio. The sound of his laugh always sent a warm tingling to her chest, and seeing the charming smile on his flawless face really didn't help. Every time Jikkō gazed into those gorgeous gold flecked eyes, her heart fluttered, and despite his odd tastes and need to always aggravate her, Jikkō always felt the longing to be closer to him.

"What do you think? It's the middle of winter." Jikkō replied harshly, averting her gaze. "Let's just go to class... it's too early to deal with you."

Jikkō wasn't stupid. She was aware of how she felt, but acting on those feelings is something she would never do. Being who she was, with everything she had done, she didn't deserve love. She knew that Michio would never feel the same anyways, he liked someone else, and Jikkō had no right to step between that.

This was the way it had to be.

Mika x Ichiro

"MICHIIII LOVE ME!!!!" Mika exclaimed as she ran into her brother's classroom.

Mitsuo glared at her. "Excuse me miss, I'm trying to teac-"

Mika let out a loud gasp, spotting a red haired boy at the back who was hot af. She was in love. She ran to him, glomping him. "I am in love with you."

Ichiro gasped. "I love you too."

They started making out, and ten minutes later Mika pulled away. "Wait, what's your name even?"

"Ichiro." Ichiro replied. "The author's too lazy to remember my surname."

"That's good enough for me!" Mika said, resuming the makeout session.

Mitsuo quit.

Nise x Akio

Nise was wandering around aimlessly when she bumped into someone. She looked up, seeing a very attractive young man.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Nise exclaimed.

"Oh wow..." Akio gasped, looking down at her. "You're actually adorable. Wanna fuck?"

The author then tossed Akio into a pool of highly acidic toxic waste because no one can touch this pure little angel.

Mitsuo x Mika

As the students were leaving class for the day, Mitsuo spotted an adorable short blonde by the door, excitedly calling for Michio. Her beautiful eyes met his, and she ran up to Mitsuo, staring at him in awe.

"Michi, your teacher's really hot." Mika said. "Hey, Mr. Itami, right? Can I kiss you?"

"No, you're a minor." Mitsuo responded like a responsible adult.

Mika left being extremely disappointed.