Chimon, August 8th, 2:13 am

I sit on the swing, rocking slightly as I think back on all of everything. And I mean everything. My childhood, my current home life, the life I've led while I've been here. I think about love. And about the people who came into this place. Who we've beco--

WHY IS THE DOOR OPENING—?! SHITI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEWHATTHEFU-- "YUU! YUU, I DON'T HAVE A WEAPON!" I announce as soon as I process that we're both screaming. I open my hands and show him that I have nothing, I pull my pockets inside-out, I even take off my hat so he can see there's nothing in there. He slumps against the doorway and sinks to his knees, panting in both relief and diminishing horror. "H-Hey, are you okay? What are you doing here? It's two in the morning," I speak softly.

"I could ask you the same thing," he shakes his head.

"I woke up in the middle of the night and needed water... didn't want to go back to bed. This is our last normal day here... I kind of can't believe it," I explain. "I thought I wouldn't ever come back to the playground, but I surprised myself during a game of hide and seek with Wakumi, and so I'm... processing it all."

"I..." He looks down at the ground, avoiding eye contact. "I had a nightmare, and I just sort of... wandered over here. I don't know what exactly I'm doing... if I'm trying to get some kind of catharsis, or if I'm still punishing myself."

"C'mon, sit on the swings with me. It's a good place to think and vent. I'd know," I invite with a half-smile. He gives the slightest breath of laughter and pries himself off the floor to join me.

"I'm terrified," he admits meekly.

"Do you know what exactly it is that's scaring you?"

We sit in silence. I grip my key to reassure myself as he figures out the right words to say. "I... lived. Because of Monterio, I lived. But I don't know what'll happen to me if we escape. I'm still a murderer. Do I even have a future? Is there any sort of world out there that could possibly have a place for me?"

I think about it. "I don't know much about law. But they'd absolutely take into account that we were hostages in here. And... if all else fails, you could try an insanity defense. Brief reactive psychosis is no joke, and considering the literal truckload of trauma that got dumped on us here, it's honestly not surprising that one of us dealt with something like that."

"But there's the issue of proof." He looks like he's trying to keep himself from trembling.

As if purely on impulse, I say something I'm not certain of. "We'll find a way! We'll find a way to keep you safe and give you a future! If we make it out of this building, I swear, we won't lose one of our own ever again!"

He calls me out on it. "You can't make a promise like that. We can't predict what could happen. To tell me that we'll all stay alive and happy until we die of natural causes... none of us can know that."

"I-I know. I just... can't let anything bad happen to you guys outside of this place. I need for this to have mattered. I need light at the end of the tunnel." I curl in on myself and hug my knees.

His next words sound forcedly optimistic. "This will have mattered regardless of what happens to us next. So you don't have to go worrying about that, okay? Whatever happens to me, I'll accept it. This'll matter as long as we all keep each other in mind, no matter what. You can do that, right?"

"Mhm... Monterio was the first person I was able to care about in years... Can I admit something to you?" I wait for his nod. "In those very first moments of the trial when I learned you wouldn't be executed, I thought I'd want you to hurt forever. I wanted you to pay, and to never be able to move on. I knew it was wrong to feel like that, but I was convinced that you being in pain was the only way for the dancers to be vindicated. But I was wrong. I don't want you to suffer! I don't! It's... not what either of them would've wanted!" I express. My voice cracks all over the place, and tears fill my eyes.

"I still feel like I have to! I feel like I have to hurt, even now! Somewhere in me, I still feel like I deserve it...! It's such a fucking shitty situation! I don't wanna get home and wind up having no hope, but at the same time, I feel like it would only be right!" he interrupts, also starting to cry. "It's my duty to carry them with me. It has to be my burden."

"I understand now. I want you to carry them. But I don't want you to carry the guilt. Can I tell you the good things? Can I trust you to carry the good things?" He swipes tears off his face and nods hesitantly.

I tell him all about Kana's fierce protectiveness, her willingness to learn, her pure passion and her full belief in herself. I tell him all about Monterio's quiet kindness, the way he was so observant and brotherly and understanding and just completely amazing. I tell him about how playful they both were, how they were so in-sync but how they never lost sense of themselves. For once, Yuu maintains eye contact with me, absorbing every drop of it. He cradles himself as he listens, mourning with me. I have no idea how long we stay there just talking.

And then, once I finish, I make my plea. "So... please don't torment yourself anymore. It's not the way to honor them." He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket. "What's that?"

"Right at the very end of the schism, Kana drew me as Cinderella's Fairy Godmother because she knew it would make me laugh. I liked it at first, but when my brain started acting up, I became absolutely convinced she was making fun of me..." He shudders. "None of you were ever mocking me or targeting me. I murdered someone completely innocent."

"It's not your fault that your sense of reality was... twisty."

"I'm so sorry."

"I know, buddy."

"I want to carry the good stuff. Not the self-hatred."

"Would you... want my help getting rid of the nightmares? I obviously can't completely erase your trauma, but..."

"...Okay. Please hypnotize me. But in return, let me measure your feet. You mentioned your shoes being old and worn-out. When we get home, if my sharp tools aren't immediately confiscated, I'll make and send you a new pair."

I look at my ancient sneakers, falling apart more and more everyday. "I-I'll pay you."

"I won't let you pay for them. But anyway. I... I'm ready whenever you are."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fujiko, August 8th, 11:41 am

Gou's not the best at doing makeup, and I'm not the best at video games, so we decided to do something super duper fun and play a makeup video game. It's like, stupidly addictive. The game starts out with you only being able to make outfits for people, but over time, it opens up to hairstyling, makeup, and fashion shows! Gou and I have been at it for multiple hours already, and we had to get pulled to breakfast.

It's not always so happy, though. There's this one character who's always causing trouble and she's like, mega annoying. It makes me pissy, and I make that real obvious. "God, woman, get your head out of your ass for two minutes," I grumble.

"If I hadn't known you for this long already, I wouldn't believe you to be the type to get gamer rage," he laughs. "Now, Wakumi..." he cuts himself off then. I save our progress and then shut off the console, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Wakumi," he laughs again, "would've found this game so fucking stupid. She would've yelled at me for forcing her to play, and we would've wound up wrestling. Either over the controller, or like, I would've been trying to stop her from unplugging the game and losing all our progress." He shakes his head like he thinks it's dumb, but his little smile is really fond. "It ain't e'en a competition, laddie, why are ye gettin' me caught up in this malarkey?! Ye runnin' a rig?!" he mimics. He moves his hand to keep mine in place on his shoulder.

"You cared a lot about her, huh?"

"I hate that we never made up."

"Hm?"

His eyes start to look droopy. "When she started that giant fight with everyone... and I went out to try and talk to her... I think I mentioned that she said some really hurtful stuff. Wakumi is a person who's been through a lot, even though she hates when people ask about it. She dealt with it all by being... well, Wakumi. Abrasive, headstrong, stubborn, and... angry. Very angry. I think she knew that it wasn't entirely healthy, but whether she didn't or couldn't change, I'm not entirely sure."

"But, y'know, she did change. Just a little."

"She did. By then, though, I was too upset to accept her company. Even before she said that shit to me, I was kind of... um... how do I put this?" He taps at his fingers a couple of times and then sighs. "I knew I was never gonna be her first choice. Joanie was the closest person to her. Even though I was her friend first, even though I tried my best to step up for her in Joanie's absence... I was never going to be the person Wakumi cared about most. And I hate that I felt so jealous and so alone. I love everyone here, but I couldn't help but want to be her favorite... and I don't even know why."

"I get it. It was the same for me with Kana. Though, um, I don't think...?"

"No, I didn't feel that way about Wakumi."

"Right, okie dokie. But even still, I can totally understand everything. Kana dealt with a lot of things by being angry, too, for a long time. And she tried so very hard to be good and nice and understanding, but she would rather be angry than sad, and that made it hard for her sometimes. She just obviously acted like a different kind of angry. Instead of Wakumi's, 'I'm gonna keelhaul ye!!' energy, she said bad things she didn't mean. And in the past, she'd spread rumors, too. It must be so lonely, being that mad at the world."

He huddles into a ball. "I have a question for you."

"Mhm?"

"If you could take revenge on anyone in your life... would you?"

I think about this for a while. "Umm, I think, like, that depends on a whole bunch of things. Like, how big is the revenge, right? Like, is it revenge that'll mess them up for a day? A week? Forever? And how messed up? Like, oh shit their hair is falling out bad? Or like, oh shit, they just lost their job and possibly all hope of getting another one bad?"

He pauses. "Any of it."

"Mmmm... maybemaybemaybe something small? For the girls who hurt my heart, or like, for the teachers who treated me like I was hopeless. I don't think I could bring myself to do something super duper bad. I think I prefer it when the universe does something bad to them instead. Cause that way I don't get my hands dirty, honey!" I wink, trying to make him chuckle. It works. "But, like, being totally serious, I... used to want bad things to happen to people who hurt me, but I think I realized something kinda important when I was here."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I guess it's more like two things. First... like, sure, maybe just an itty bitty bit, but like, the people who hurt me hurting doesn't make things feel too super better. It doesn't undo what they did, and even if it can kinda feel like justice, it doesn't make my heart stop being hurt. And another thing. This is, like, mostly for the big big revenges. If you carry out a big elaborate revenge scheme, it hurts way more people than you mean for it to. Pain is a mean ol' monster that likes to go for double-kills. If someone suffers, their loved ones probably do, too. Or like, the people who were hurt turn around and start hurting innocent people. If I took revenge on someone, it's really likely that it would hurt someone I didn't want to hurt."

"Mmm, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for letting me talk through this with you."

"Totally, totally! Um, hey..."

"Yeah?"

"You'll keep in touch with us once we get out, right?"

He gives me a comforting rub on the head. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Fuji."

I giggle. "Good. Someday, we're gonna need to go buy this beautiful, stupid game again!"

"Speaking of... c'mon, this third fashion show isn't gonna host itself!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ren, August 8th, 9:15 am

I sit right outside the opening to the garden. I have some sunscreen on, and I'm letting my skin absorb it. Nari's earring rests in the palm of my hand, and I stare at it. I looked up what a triskelion symbolizes. There are apparently multiple interpretations, all of which come in sets of three. Spirit, Mind, and Body. Past, Present, and Future. Life, Death, and Rebirth is the one that resonates most with me. Though I think Ikinari chose it because of this last one: Creation, Preservation, and Destruction. I close my eyes and let myself imagine going camping with her. Toz and Zu, too. It's almost a strange sense of deja vu, of nostalgia for something that never happened.

Back then, way back then, Ikinari wanted to take me home. She wanted to rescue me from this wicked place. I was the one to unravel her plan. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I'd held my tongue and let Keiji take the blame.

"Good morning, Ren," Azumi smiles softly. She gracefully and silently lowers herself to sit beside me. Almost automatically, I rest my head on her shoulder. She shuffles to start stroking me.

"I'm struggling a little right now, Zu." She lets out a noise of understanding, urging me to keep talking. "Are we not gonna actually address the fact that we nearly sacrificed everyone because we wanted to protect each other? Even if you had been right, and I was the killer, or even if I had been right, and you were the killer, we were just going to let everyone else DIE."

Her eyes narrow and she gives a loose nod. "What I attempted to do was short-sighted, foolish, and... may I say it?"

"Say what?"

"Though I cherish you, I deeply regret that choice. It was impulsive and awful. I just... he cared about you so profoundly, and you assisted him so well. It was difficult to reconcile the you I know with the hypothetical 'you,' who would have been the traitor... and Tozen's killer. I assumed that you must have had secret positive intentions. Due to that, I was desperate for you to live. In order for you to fulfill whatever your mission could have been... and so that you could bear Tozen's legacy."

"I feel literally the exact same way. He loved you. I couldn't just let you die. But what I did... it went against my morals so badly. When Nari tried to take me home, I couldn't do it. And you were all basically strangers then. Two days ago, I nearly sent myself and my friends to die for your sake... and it turns out it wasn't even for your sake."

"Do you ever... regret it? That initial decision, I mean. With Nari." She looks up at the ceiling, brown eyes deep in thought.

"I don't. Many, many things have happened since then. A lot of us have practically become different people. Including me. But..."

"But?"

"But I think about it all the time. Practically every night, as I'm falling asleep. Especially during the fear simulator. I... know I fall for people really fast. And obviously I know we'll never be more than friends, but I do have feelings for you even now. It's just... sometimes, when I close my eyes, I let myself daydream. I daydream about someone kind, and warm, and brave rescuing me. Not even just from this place. From the life I lived before I got here, cooped up in a house for over a decade. I was the living Rapunzel, waiting for my prince or princess. And really, what I've wanted all this time is for someone to save me, but I gave it up. Since then, I've wondered... what am I going to do? How am I going to be saved?"

She smiles, affection parting her lips. "If it would bring you comfort... I would still gladly sacrifice myself for your sake, given that the rest of our friends would not be endangered. You have left fingerprints on my heart."

"Again, same for you."

She then turns to me and the softness turns to a smirk. My heart flutters. "Regardless of that, though. You, Ren Enomoto, need no salvation from anyone. Now, that is not to say that you require no assistance whatsoever. Everyone needs help, and the last trial attests to that fact. Even so, you must understand. You are a capable, strong-willed man. You are your own salvation, through and through."

Confidence and relief start to pulse through me, as though I've always needed to hear those words and can only now start to actually believe them. I stand up and grab her hand, pulling her to her feet. She quirks an eyebrow in confusion, so I cast a glance at the garden's entrance. She nods in understanding. "You're all the sunshine I need in my life, but it couldn't hurt to get some more," I flirt, trying to distract myself as I step outside. She squeezes my hand in support.

The gentle heat I feel in my palm spreads to my entire body as sunlight engulfs me. This is gradually becoming more and more familiar. I'm still trembling slightly— seventeen years of heliophobia hasn't been totally erased yet— but this is leagues better than at the beginning, when being out here for mere minutes caused a panic attack. It's still an extremely vivid memory. The fuzziness I felt, how it warped my vision and my perception of time. The way gravity felt so oppressive and how I also somehow felt like I was falling. The way I was absolutely convinced that I was dying, that it was over. And then the way that this girl, and that boy we both had feelings for, helped me calm down. Her hand reminds me of the cup of tea he gave me. "Zu, Tozen's gone."

She leans close to me, shuddering, and I hug her. "I am aware. It is up to us now. It is our solemn duty to grow, and flourish, and equanimously face all that troubles us, just as he desired to. He... I need to let him, and you, inspire me. Otherwise I will fall to the floor and never again rise. It is necessary for me to take action like you both did. I have every belief that you will succeed, and I ought to have faith in my own capabilities, as well. Let us march on victoriously." Despite the way she's quaking, her voice has conviction.

I'm coming, world. This is the last building I'll ever let myself be trapped in. I've got a life to start living, a life that's been touched by all of these people. And with the help of all my loved ones, I will conquer my fear of the day.