Azumi

For upwards of eight years, I have intrinsically understood that meditation is of the utmost important to me. It settles my heart when I start to fret myself silly. It helps me to understand myself better. It prepares me for whatever challenge I might face.

It is an essential part of my life. Now, as I am stripped of it temporarily, I feel in desperate need of it. "Are you really, truly intending to drop out so quickly, Tozen?"

"I'm sorry," he responds, holding one arm with the other and avoiding my gaze.

"But think about it this way. If we combine our efforts, we have double the shot of receiving the reward. I am perfectly willing to put every ounce of effort into this and share the prize with you should I outlast the others. Just, please... try."

"Azumi, I can't," he insists. He's in the kitchen, as always, working on breakfast for the rest of us-- gluten-free tempura vegetables, to be precise. Nobody is around; they have all slunk away to attend to their own business, most of them appearing downtrodden, with some exceptions.

"But this could prove to be incredibly valuable! It may very well keep the two of us alive to keep fighting!"

"We don't know how long this will last! I'm not gonna speak for you, but I know that I don't exactly have the strongest willpower! Someone will easily outlast me even if I AM willing to do this! And I'm not!" he grunts, giving the counter a slight pound with his fist.

"Why not? What could be so awful that you refuse to even give it a shot?"

He snatches my arm abruptly and practically slaps his wrist into my hand. The surprise makes me shake a little. I tilt my head to read his no-go code, dismissing the mild blurriness of my vision. Eat anything under 1000 calories. "That. That, Azumi. I'm not gonna actively fucking harm my body for this shit."

"S-Surely there must be something healthy that you can whip up worth that many. I-I mean, you're the Ultimate Nutritionist. You know everything there is to know, right?" I ask. I'm not sure whether my words are encouragement or a plea.

"I-- Yes, hypothetically, but--"

"Then what are we arguing about?!"

He suddenly jerks his arm away from me. I tear my gaze from where his wrist just was. His golden eyes look meek, suddenly. "I... I can't go back to where I was," he whispers, voice cracking.

I have trouble finding words. I can barely even comprehend what's happening. "...What?"

"I'm not... strong, like the rest of you. I can't talk about my problems so easily. Someday, maybe, but... I think you should go. We need to clear our heads. I'm sorry for yelling."

"Sorry for pushing you," I respond, stumbling away. I retreat to the hallway, where I start to pace. My whole body feels hot from the stress.

Okay. Everything will be alright. You simply need to outlast everyone else on your own. You can do that. You'll be fine without the meditation. My breaths start to feel shallow. Just steel yourself!

My vision starts to fill with black speckles and my fingertips look slightly blue. Oh. That's what's going on. I'm about to faint.

"AZU--" I start to hear someone call. But I don't have enough time to hear them finish my name before consciousness slips out of my grasp.

I wake up somewhere distinctly different, feeling something squishy under my body and a pillow under my head. Part of me just wants to keep my eyes shut, but there's rather loud bickering occurring right outside the door.

"What the hell did you even do?!"

"I didn't do anything, you ass! All I did was bring her to you!" ...Keiji?

"I know it sounds unbelievable, but I, the bringer of truth, can confirm his story! I have been spending time with him, trying to bring about his redemption through holy miracles and the influence of arcane justice! Azumi was overcome by some invisible ailment, and succumbed as we walked past!" I... what? What is Joanie... OH. GOODNESS. HER CODE.

"So you're POSITIVE that he absolutely didn't touch her?"

"Not until he lifted her up to deliver her to the safety of her dear friend," she croons.

"Well, she did say at the beginning that she has a habit of fainting. It's just... fuck me. If it wasn't Keiji's fault, that means it's mine, and I never wanted to hurt her."

"Tozen, I am alright! Please, come in now!"

Within the instant, he bursts inside. "Azumi! I'm sorry! I know I said it before, but I'm really, really sorry!"

"You apologize too much, Tozen."

"H-Here. Eat. You need to get your blood pressure a little higher. You don't dislike pickles, do you?"

"I am not particularly picky."

"Good. Drink, too!" he urges, cracking open a bottle of water. He sets it beside me and helps me sit up. I point to his wrist wordlessly. The bracelet is still affixed.

"Uh, yeah, I'd only just finished the tempura when Keiji brought you to me, so I didn't get a chance to eat anything," he explains, looking askance. But then he continues in a slightly hushed tone, "I... You brought up a good point. It would be hard, but not impossible, to consistently make healthy foods worth 1,000 calories. So, um... I could give it a try, if it lightens the stress you're putting in yourself. You'll just need to help me stay out of my own head."

I shake my head. "You needn't put yourself through this on my behalf. If you assist me in regulating my stress levels, I am sure that I can pull through for you! I may not understand what your past was like, but I want only your comfort."

"Are you sure?" he asks. In response, I shove one of the pickle slices he had for me into his mouth. He hugs me as he chews, and when he finishes swallowing, I hear the bracelet bounce off the infirmary bed and clatter to the floor.

"Now that that issue is settled, would you be so kind as to bring in Keiji and Joanie? I wanted to ask them something."

He swiftly ushers them in, though it appears as though they were trying to escape unnoticed. Joanie's eyes are animated and cheery, whereas Keiji's are as cold as always... though perhaps a bit less smug. "Does your head hurt?" he asks strictly.

I touch the back of my head. "No."

"He unleashed his full power, running at the speed of sound, to prevent you from pounding your skull on the cold tile! Maybe the Dark Prince has a drop of light in him, after all."

"Untrue," he denies, clenching his fists so hard that they quiver.

"Why? Why did you do what you did, then, if not out of goodwill? And if it was goodwill, then why now?"

"You're going to think my reason is stupid. I think my reason is stupid."

"Go on."

"I felt... deja vu."

"You don't mean..." I ask, narrowing my eyebrows in warning.

"No, not that. I know about that, of course. You can't sweep everything under the rug. But that's not what it reminded me of. It just felt like this had happened before, and my body's instinctive reaction was to catch your head. As for why I brought you to Tozen, that was entirely strategic. If someone had seen you unconscious in the infirmary with me staring at you, they'd have assumed malicious intent, and I can't afford anyone attempting an ambush."

"Well, regardless of your motivations... you have my thanks."

"Don't mention it. Ever."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monterio

"I swear, the last person who asked me this many questions about myself was Kana, little buddy," I laugh. He's been at it all morning, and honestly, it's been helpful in my pursuit of never shutting my freaking mouth, so I'm happy to oblige. Plus, it's him. I like Chimon a lot. I don't normally make too many friends, but I've been having a good time.

"Speaking of her, it was really cute when you complimented how good she was doing! She must like hearing you say it, even if she can't respond right now," Chimon croons.

I put my thumbs in my pockets and look aside with a smirk. "She'd know that I was thinking it whether I said it or not."

"Okay, okay, you know I have to ask. Are you two dating?" he asks, looking as though he's trying to suppress a smile.

"Honestly? We have no idea. And not because we haven't talked about it. What really separates a best friendship from a romantic relationship? What separates a hang out from a date? We're pretty solidly committed to being in each other's lives forever. We think about each other even when we're separate. Neither of us have dated since we met, but we talk about people we find attractive all the time. There are no butterflies. Just comfort. So... we just decided not to label it, whatever 'it' is. We call it life partners."

"That's really adorable. Now, I'm deathly curious. How did you guys meet?"

"Oh, she's gonna kill me," I murmur with a grin.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never told this story before. She's always the one to say it. And it feels wrong to be the one saying it... Part of why I don't talk too super much is that I'm really kind of blunt when I'm confident," I ramble. I really am already tired of the sound of my own voice. It's low, raspy.

"No wonder you two get along so well," he jokes.

"Oh, that's the thing! At first, we really didn't! Not that we were ever enemies or anything, but— oh, God, she's seriously gonna kill me, but these are her own words so hopefully it turns out okay— when we met, she was such a mythic bitch! Like she was legendarily awful. People liked her because of her confidence and charismatic aura— she was one of the popular girls, after all— but she was never good to be around, from what I heard. I, on the other hand, had a reputation for being "that creepy quiet guy," so people mostly avoided me. She thought that, too, I guess, so she left me alone. But we both decided to join a ballroom dance class in town and we got partnered together."

"Aaaaannnnnd?" he prompts when I stop to gather my composure.

"And we proceeded to utterly terrify each other without the other one knowing. But she told me I wasn't allowed to quit on her, and I agreed. Over time, we came to appreciate and understand each other, and, in the process, we changed. We were so different at the start, to the point where people looked at us funny when we walked to practice together. Now, it's like we're two sides of the same coin."

He goes a little bit quiet, so I hum as he gathers his thoughts to avoid falling silent too long. "Monterio... do you think you and Kana could ever get to that point with other people? Where you fundamentally change because of them, and they change because of you?"

"Maybe not to the same extent. I mean, she was pretty much my first friend, after all. I do think it's possible, though. I think... everyone changes everyone, at least a small bit. And the people who really matter change you a lot."

"But that's only if you care, right?"

"Sure. It'd be hard to carry any lessons from someone you feel nothing towards."

"Do you think even that could be taught?" he asks, slowly.

"What, caring?"

"Yeah."

"Hard to say. Some people physically can't. But I think for people who have just had it rough, it probably can."

Once again, I hum as I wait for him to come up with something else to ask or say. After a while of soaking in my answers, he just casually asks, "Do you wanna play Twister? I saw it in the game room."

I can't help myself but to laugh a bit. "Little bud, you're still my little bud. I have an entire foot on you. You'd be at a serious disadvantage," I point out, picking him up by the armpits.

"I know. I don't care if I spend the whole time losing. I just wanna play."

"If you say so," I agree. I start heading off towards the game room, with him still in my arms

"One more question."

"Name it."

"Why do you always pick people up like this?"

"Huh. Umm... cause I can, and it makes me feel a weird sense of joy. Like I'm helping! I do it with my brother all the time!"

He laughs before pointing. "Onward, steed!"

"Away we go!"

As I run, someone pops up in front of us. "Hello."

"Hey, Sayuri. What's up?" I inquire, whistling.

She seems to grapple with what to say next. Her eyes go wide and she bites her lip. "Umm... I would like to spend time with you, but first I desire to know what activity you two plan to participate in."

"You're doing a great job, Sayuri," I encourage quickly before explaining, "We were about to play some Twister in the game room. That sound good to you?"

"Yes, that is perfectly satisfactory, despite my stature! It will be two little ones versus a big one," she points out, stretching her arm as far as she can to reach my head.

"Let's fight for second place, Sayuri!" Chimon smiles.

"We still need someone to spin the wheel for us. I shall go find Yuu and force him to assist us," she announces.

"I don't wanna bother him if he's busy," I point out.

"Oh, do not worry. He couldn't say no to me!" she winks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuu

I can't say no to her. More accurately, I can't say no to anyone right now. Because this freaking code is impossible! My No-Go Code is, "Refuse any request." I would've just thrown in the towel instantly, but the thing about this challenge is that the winner will probably be a lot safer. I want that security.

I did, however, set up a few standards for myself, things I would lose the competition for. One: I will immediately drop out if someone asks me to harm or kill myself or others. Two: I will immediately drop out if Keiji figures out my code and requests anything even remotely suspicious. Three: I will immediately drop out if someone requests that I share personal information that I keep close to my chest. Otherwise, I will accept any request.

The problem with this is that Sayuri, despite being incapable of asking questions at this point in time, is still boundlessly curious, and she's resourceful and insightful enough to know how to get information without asking. The instant we left the meeting room after putting on the bracelets, she said, "Tell me what your No-Go Code is, please," and, since that's a request, I had to tell her. She's been gracious enough that she hasn't tried to make me do or say anything particularly uncomfortable, even though, well, it's Sayuri, Queen of Far-Too-Intimate Questions. I think it's possible that she knows I'll give up if she tests me too much.

This could be me speculating way too much, but it seems like Sayuri wants some sort of alliance with me, and if that's the case, she wouldn't want to be the reason I fail. I feel like, since I admitted I have trouble trusting people, she's been trying to prove me wrong about the world or something. The sentiment is nice, if that's the case, but one person can't make up for the past few years. Being kind to her couldn't hurt, though. If there's even the slightest chance that she'd share the prize with me, doing dumb little things like spinning the wheel for a Twister game or braiding her hair is worth it.

I'm also coming to understand that she has a rather childish and random sense of humor, along with her poet's wit. I have to say, I was not expecting her to be the funny girl of our group— and she might not be as genuinely entertaining as Wakumi— but her company is much more enjoyable as I thought it might be when I met her. For example, this random tidbit. "Yuu! Act like my robot friend!"

"For how long?"

"A minute's fine."

I put on my best monotone robo-voice. "He-llo, Mis-tress Sa-yu-ri! How might I be of ser-vice? Beep boop beep!" I make my motions clunky and stiff.

She giggles cheerfully. "Yuu-bot! Give me a hug!"

"Yes, Mis-tress Sa-yu-ri!" She opens her arms wide and I give her a hug. I get a brief, unbearable pain in my heart, and I detach quickly. "What is my next dir-ec-tive, Mis-tress? A-wait-ing in-put. Beep boop beep!"

"Umm... Yuu-bot, go get me a cupcake from the kitchen, please. But try not to let anyone see you!"

"Yes, Mis-tress," I approve. Why do you want me to hide it? I'd ask, but that'd mean dropping the robot act.

I slowly shut her door and start to creep along the walls as silently as I can. I don't know if anyone's around, but I don't like repetitive noises very much, so I design my shoes to be as quiet as possible. I tuck my bracelet into my work gloves— a few people have been doing that to hide whether they're still in the game or not. It's easiest for people like me, who came into this building wearing gloves, but people have been finding pairs somewhere.

I listen for echoes of conversation. Murmurs. Stuff like that. It's nearly nighttime. Why is everything so much scarier when you have to be stealthy about it? I lean my head into the dining area. I can hear Bisque, Azumi, and Tozen in the kitchen, and I can see Wakumi further grumbling over a child's math workbook in the dining room. Fuck, that's way too many people who could catch me. I consider my options and ultimately decide that the best choice is to just lay in wait for a while. Wakumi is too erratic and Bisque too emotional for there to not be a major distraction soon. Not that those are flat-out bad traits; Bisque and I are finally on good terms now, and Wakumi's hilarious when her unpredictability isn't aimed at me.

Turns out, I'm absolutely correct. Wakumi gets pissed at math, throws the book on the ground, and starts stomping at it while swearing in pirate. This gets Bisque to run out and try to cheer her up, but he trips over something. And I guess it turns out hurting himself was his No-Go Code. So it's doubly noisy because now he's upset and the team parents are taking care of him and Wakumi's losing her shit. I feel bad not taking care of Bisque, too, but if I don't try my best not to be seen, I'll break my own code. So I sneak past them into the kitchen, snag a cupcake from the package in the pantry, and slink back to Sayuri.

When she gets the treat, she's practically glowing with joy. It's incredibly surprising how easy it is to please her. "Sayuri, why did you make me do it stealthily?" She gives that mischievous, angelic little smile. "Please don't tell me... Are you writing a poem about spies or something?" I put a hand to my head in exasperation.

She falls into a fit of giggles, pulling her journal out from under her bed. "I suppose I'm rather predictable! Yuu... report everything you experienced while retrieving this cupcake so I can write about it!" She bites into her cupcake and hums happily.

I sigh. "Yes, ma'am."