Main Pairing: Shuichi Saihara x Kokichi Ouma
Depressed!Shuichi
(Baby boy I'm sorry)
TW: Suicide, Child Neglect
I wanted to write angst forgive me
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Shuichi knew he was depressed. It was kinda hard to ignore the voice in his head. Screaming that he wasn't worth the space on Earth.

And it was right. Was it wrong? No, it wasn't wrong. Why did he exist? He didn't deserve to exis-

Kinda like that.Shuichi sighed and reached for his hat, which was hanging from his bed post.

Right before he left through the front door, he called out, "I'm leaving!".

No one answered back. Shuichi sighed. Why did he keep forgetting his parents didn't care about him?

As he walked to school, he thought back to the moment he realized that they didn't care.

It was in third grade. He was so naive.

"MOM! DAD!" Shuichi yelled, running through the front door.

His parents were sitting on the couch. His mom was putting on lipstick and looking into a hand mirror and his dad was reading a newspaper.

"Look! Look! Look! I gor a hundred on my test!" Shuichi said, waving his test in the air.

His parents said nothing.

"Hey! Cmon, look! Aren't you proud?"

"Shuichi," his mom said, " Just go upstairs and do whatever kids do at your age. We don't care."

Shuichi stared at them. He could feel tears at the edge of his eyes.

This was the fiftieth time his parents had ignored him since the start of the school year.

It had only been two weeks.

Shuichi sighed and walked upstairs.

Shuichi shook his head. No point getting lost in the past now.

He walked into his first period and sat down. His seat was in the back of the classroom.

"Kokichi, tell us another joke!"

Ah. The purple-haired boy in the middle of the crowd of the middle of the classroom was Kokichi Ouma, the most popular boy at school.

Shuichi's crush.

Honestly, if it wasn't for Kokichi, Shuichi might have committed suicide already.

"Alright class, settle down." The teacher said as she walked in.

The class all went back to their seats.

"Alright, today, we'll be starting on a project that will be due tomorrow morning. You will be working in pairs."

The class broke out into cheers.

"AND! I have already chosen your pairs."

Everyone groaned.

"The pairs are as follows: Kaito and Maki, Himiko and Tenko, Shuichi and Kokichi"

WAIT, WHAT?

Kokichi sat down in the chair next to Shuichi. "Sooooo, partner, what are we doing? I'm superrrrr bad at this subject!"

Shuichi looked back at him. "I-It's only math-"

"Nishishi~! I was lying! I am a liar after all!" Shuichi smiled and tried not to blush.

After spending the period working, the bell rang.

"Oh. I guess we'll have to see each other after school to work!" Kokichi said, grabbing his stuff,"We'll meet at your house!"

"W-Wait, why my house?"

"It's closer to the school!" With that, Kokichi left.

"But why not the library?" Shuichi whispered after he left.

"HEY! SHUICHI!" Kaito said, walking over and slapping Shuichi on the back. "So, finally got yourself a date?"

"It's not a date!"

"Sure, it isn't!"

"Shut up!"

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Shuichi was eating lunch in the lunchroom by himself, like usual.

The lunchroom went silent.

Shuichi looked up. Rantaro was standing in the middle of the lunchroom, handing a note to Kokichi with a blush on his face.

Oh.

Kokichi read the note and looked back at Rantaro, who was still blushing. He pulled the other in for a kiss. Everyone started cheering for the new couple, including Shuichi.

He never had a chance. Why be sad about it?

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"Oh, hey look! It's the Emo kid!" Shuichi flinched. He knew they were referring to him and he knew exactly who it was.

He turned around. Junko Enoshima stood there.

"NERDDDDD!"

She walked up and pushed him into a locker.

"Why not kill yourself! You don't have any reason for living anyway."

Shuichi looked down. While she did insult him everyday, she never went so far to tell him to kill himself.

Maybe she's right...

-------

The rest of his classes passed by in a blur. As he walked back to his home, he thought about what happened today.

Did you honestly think you had a chance? Hah. As if. Your delusions led you to this point. It's your fault you're so sad. It's your fault your parents don't care. It's your fault you don't have any friends. It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault. It's yoUR FAULT! IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULTYOURFAULT!

Shuichi came back to Earth. He was holding a rope he had taken out of his closet.

'Wait wait wait, I can't honestly kill myself!'

Why not?

'All the people who care about me!'

Like who?

'Uhhhh...My parents?'

They didn't care back then. Why would they care now?

'Kaito?'

He has Maki. He'll get over you in a week.

'Kaede?'

You guys barely interact.

'.....Kokichi?'

You're kidding, right? He probably doesn't even know who you are besides that one student he has to work on a project with.

'Maybe..'

Maybe what? That I'm right and you should kill yourself?

'Maybe you're right....'

I'm your subconscious. Of course I'm right.

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Kokichi rang the doorbell to Shuichi's house.

A woman opened the door. "Oh, hello! Who are you?"

"Hi miss, I'm Kokichi Ouma. I'm here to work on a project with your son!"

Shuichi's mom scowled, like she was disgusted by the mere mention of her son. Maybe Kokichi was imagining it. Why would she be disgusted of her own son?

"He's upstairs in his room. Go up the stairs and it'll be the first door to the left."

"Alright, thank you!"

Kokichi followed her instructions and knocked on Shuichi's door.

"Shuichi~!" Kokichi said, drawing out the last syllable, "Open up! It's time for our project!"

No response.

"Shuichi?"

"Shuichi~! Open the door!"

"Shuichi, I swear if you don't open up right now, I'll send all my servants after you and kill you!"

"SHUICHI SAIHARA, OPEN THE DOOR!"

Kokichi got annoyed and threw the door open.

"SHUICHI, I SWE-"

Kokichi stopped dead in his tracks.

There, hanging from a noose connected to the ceiling fan, was Shuichi.

Dead.

"W-What?" Kokichi stammered.

Why would Shuichi kill himself?

Kokichi's gaze wandered to the nightstand nearby. On it was a note next to a pen.

'Dear world,

Scratch that.Dear police is what I should be saying. Why would the world want to know about a boy who committed suicide?

Anyway, you're probably wondering why I killed myself. I'll tell you.'

Kokichi paled as he kept reading the letter. It went into depth of all the severe child neglect and bullying he went through.

'So that's all the reasons. It may seem like a stupid reason to die, and I agree with you. But I can't deal with it anymore.

Signed, Shuichi Saihara
Goodbye.'

The bottom part of the note was torn off. Kokichi couldn't find it anywhere nearby.

Kokichi, only now getting over the shock, screamed.

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In Shuichi's back pocket was the remainder of the note.

'(P.S Kokichi Ouma, you're probably not reading this, but I had the biggest crush on you for the longest time. I hope you're happy with Rantaro.)'

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If you ever feel like you want to kill yourself, please don't. There are people who care about you. If you feel like there are none, I'm here. Just PM me and you can rant to me all you want.

Did I make you cry? Probably not, but....

1270 words! Whoo!

Ha whoops Wattpad didn't work, here's the full thing 6/18/18