Nick Fury had been happy enough to finally have Loki locked away in a cell. He finally had Evelyn back in the safety of S.H.I.E.L.D. And his Avengers Initiative seemed to be working swimmingly, most of them working well together after the initial problems. And yet despite all of that, he was the only one who seemed to find something to be happy about aboard the Helicarrier.

Evelyn had gotten cleaned up and changed into a spare S.H.I.E.L.D uniform that Natasha lent her. But the moment she was changed, she locked herself away in a room and refused to let anyone inside.

Tony tried repeatedly to get his sister to open the door, he tried every tactic from guilt to rage and everything in between. But she wasn't budging. Eventually he left with the intention of finding a camera to spy on her with. Lucky for Evelyn, she found one of the few rooms that couldn't be under surveillance.

Natasha and Phil both knew better, they knew Evelyn would never open the door for one of them. And Thor had just met her. So all of them were meeting in the lab with Bruce Banner to try and figure out what to do with the God of Mischief. All but one.

Steve sat stoically beside the door that led to his best friend. His shield laid unused beside him, and his red, white, and blue suit was crinkling up around his knees. He had fought Nazis, Gods, and almost died so many times in his life. And yet he had never felt like more of a failure as he did right now. Once again he couldn't save Evelyn from something that was causing her immeasurable pain.

Evelyn wouldn't talk to anyone. Not Steve, not even her own brother. Steve knew he could break down the door if he really wanted to, but he didn't. He didn't want to invade her privacy in that way.

So he sat there, and every once and a while would quietly remind Evelyn that he was there. That he would always be there if she needed him. He could only hope she heard him, and that she was still safely locked away in that room.

~

Evelyn remembered every face. She remembered every expression on the faces of the lives she took. Loki might have had possession of her mind, but she was still in there. She was like a hitchhiker in her own body and had no say or control over anything that she was doing. It was both the most confusing and terrifying moment in her life.

Those police officers were someone's parent, friend, son or daughter. And she robbed so many families of their ability to have more time with them. Deep down she knew it wasn't her fault. But nobody would ever understand the pain of seeing and feeling the death come from your hands, and there was nothing you could do to control it. Ultimately she blamed herself for deciding to jump out of bed, and re-visit the tesseract one more time. Had she stayed home and went to sleep, she could have just helped S.H.I.E.L.D track Loki down, and she wouldn't have all this blood on her hands.

She spent the first few hours on the Helicarrier crying, quietly sobbing into a pillow so nobody could hear her pain. The agony of her guilt and regret was pouring off of her like a perfume, and she had clutched the bland white pillow to her chest as if it were a lifeline.

After Tony had quit trying to get her to answer the door, she contemplated running. She could easily use a portal and go anywhere she wanted, but in the end she stayed put and spent the next hour meditating in the corner of the room. A little trick she learned from Sam to expel her anxiety.

Steve's soft voice could be heard throughout her meditation, and she used his caring and understanding voice as a guide to get her through.

"I'll always be here, Eva." Evelyn heard through the metal wall. It was surprisingly easy to hear him through the thickness of the walls. She stood from her place across the room and moved to where she assumed Steve was on the other side of the wall. She slid down the wall, closing her eyes.

"I know you're there. I just wish you would talk to me." Steve told her.

"I will." Evelyn sighed. She didn't talk any louder than needed, she knew his super-soldier hearing would allow him to hear anything she said. "I just want to sit here."

"Can I come in? I can sit with you." Steve told her. His voice was muffled by the metal between them, yet somehow she heard him.

Evelyn had wanted to be alone, she had wanted nothing more than to wallow in self pity and hate herself more and more with every passing second. But she knew there were things going on that were beyond her, beyond all of them, and they would need her help in the upcoming fight. She couldn't help save her friends and her home if she was hiding away behind metaphorical and literal walls. 

She slowly pulled herself up from a seated position, her limbs cracking in protest. A sigh passed her lips before she gently opened the door a crack. Steve was instantly on his feet at the sound of her presence, and he was soon standing before her, his bright blue eyes begging her to let him help her. 

Steve would have been the only person she let inside, and somehow everyone aboard the Helicarrier knew it. All except Steve. He was very oblivious to the obvious attachment that Evelyn held of him. His tussled blonde hair, sad blue eyes, and slightly wrinkled uniform were all reasons she let him through the door.

"You've been in here a while," Steve mentioned, laying his shield against the chair by the door.

"Have I?" She asked softly. She had taken a seat on the bed against the wall, and curled her leather clad knees into her chest.

Steve glanced around the room for a moment before taking a seat beside her. 

"I know you aren't okay, so I won't even ask. But I'd love to know what's going on in your head, if you want to talk about it." Steve mumbled, playing with the dark grey blanket they were sitting on. 

"What happened to just sitting here?" Evelyn asked, a smile creeping up on her lips.

"I know you. I know your own mind is driving you insane, and you're ready to burst at the seams." Steve told her, shifting his body to be able to face her better. " You don't have to do this alone, you know."

Evelyn's eyes watered with unshed tears as she looked at the supportive man beside her. She thanked Odin, Zeus, and any other Deity out there for bringing Steve into her life. He had been the rock that kept her grounded, and the anchor that kept her from drifting too far adrift. 

"I'm so exhausted, Steve." Evelyn sighed, her voice shuddering as the tears finally spilled from her eyes."I'm so tired of everyone using me for their own benefit. Almost everyone throughout my life has tried to get me to do their dirty work. I don't know if it will ever stop." 

"Is that what happened in Afghanistan?" Steve asked hesitantly. 

She slowly nodded her head, her mind flowing with haunting visions of fire and dead bodies. 

"There was this group called The Ten Rings, a big terrorist organization in Afghanistan..." 

Evelyn hadn't planned on spilling out her entire story, but she did. And somehow having one less secret between them lifted a hundred pound weight off her already tiny body. She told him all about the torturing of both her and Tony, Tony's escape, and the blackmail tactics they used to get her to build them the Jericho missile, though she tampered with the design. She explained how the missile barely made it one hundred yards before it blew both the back of the cave and the village of Gulmira to bits. 

"Dozens of people died that day," Evelyn whispered, reaching up and wiping her damp skin with the back of her hand. 

"That wasn't your fault, Eva. None of this is." Steve told her fiercely. 

"I built the missile that killed all of those people, and I fired the blasts that killed the policemen in Germany. Tell me again how it isn't my fault." Evelyn argued, her voice rising and echoing off the steel walls. 

"Eva, look at me." Said Steve. He reached over and cupped the side of Evelyn's head, turning her to face him fully. Fierce blue eyes met fiery eyes of green. Evelyn tried to pull away but Steve kept her put by placing his other hand on her head. 

"I've been there, Eva. I've blamed myself for deaths that were out of my hands, out of my control. I agonize every day about those I couldn't save, and those who died because of Captain America. We've both been to war, Eva. And war doesn't just stop when you come home, you've told me that a dozen times. 

That missile might have killed dozens, but you saved it from killed thousands. And you weren't in any control over your own body in Germany, neither is Clint. Are you going to blame him for everything he's done when we get him back?" 

Evelyn slowly shook her head. 

"Because none of this is the fault of either of you! There will always be a bully trying to pick on the people who are better than them. There is always going to be someone trying to take what isn't theirs. The best thing we can do is fight those bullies and protect as many lives as we can." 

"My bully is a floor below us," Evelyn mumbled with a frown as she glanced to the bed. 

"Hey," Steve whispered, causing her to look back into his eyes. 

He ran his thumb gently over the soft skin of her cheek before saying, "I'll always fight your bullies." 

Evelyn's breath became ragged, and Steve's touch suddenly set her skin on fire. His once friendly  touch was sending unfamiliar tingles through her body. It was a feeling she hadn't felt in years, and she suddenly felt like she was betraying Tommy even though he was no longer alive. It was causing complicated feelings to run through her already tormented mind. 

But she didn't get the opportunity to linger on the feelings for too long, as a blast suddenly rocked the Helicarrier -- both herself and Steve went crashing across the room. An alarm blared above them, and the sprinkler system had instantly been activated causing the pair of them to become soaked rather quickly. 

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, rushing over to haul her to her feet. 

She nodded her head, reaching down and grabbing Steve's shield which had slid near her feet. 

"I think that fight's here." She mumbled, handing him the shield. He took it before quickly strapping it to his left arm. 

The pair of them darted out into the hallway, S.H.I.E.L.D agents were rushing around, many grabbing onto the walls as the Helicarrier shifted to one side.  Throughout the chaos, neither of them quite knew exactly where to go or where to start.

A bone chilling roar sounded, echoing throughout the entire Helicarrier. Evelyn could feel it vibrating the floor beneath her feet, she could feel it against the wall she laid her hand on. It was terrifying, but she knew exactly what it was. 

"Bruce." Steve and Evelyn whispered together. 

"I really want to stay together, but I think we need to split up right now." Steve said with hesitation, running his right hand through his messy hair. They both knew he wouldn't be much help with The Hulk. 

Evelyn made a portal to the control room which housed Nick, who would be able to give him a better direction of where he was needed. Steve went to walk through and Evelyn pulled him back at the last second. 

"Be safe." She whispered. "Please." 

Steve stared at her for a moment, taking her in for a just a second longer than needed. He then nodded his head obediently, kissed her forehead, and ran through her signature blue portal. Evelyn was suddenly trembling. Not only was her best friend running off to fight something unknown to the both of them, she had a new fight with someone a little closer to home.