🪘🪘🪘

DARKNESS

In that single moment, my entire world came crashing down. I stared at her lifeless body. My heart raced so fast that it felt like it was loud enough for my hearing. Every other sound cleared out, and it felt like we were the only two in the world. Only when something stood in my path did I eventually look up to realise it was aunt Ruby, her eyes still red from crying and fresh new tears formed a river in them, ready to trickle down any second.

"Can you see... have you seen what you've done to your cousin?" She asked, her voice shaky. Her hands grabbed my arms. "All you had to do was get married... that was all you had to do... now, they've taken my only daughter." She added as the tears rolled down her cheeks and by this time, I felt shaken, my vision growing blurrier by the second because of the tears that gathered.

"I... I'm sorry." That was all I could mutter even as mummy came closer to console her and her hands fell back by her sides.

"She's supposed to get married today. Everything is ready. She... why Chidera? Why does it have to start with her? They could have taken me first... why?" Aunt Ruby sobbed some more. This time, I'd lowered my eyes from her, unable to meet any of their gazes or look at their faces.

Have you seen what you've done to your cousin? Her words rang in my head. I couldn't take it any longer, so I turned away and hurried out of the room, down the corridor and into my room. I stood in the center, in front of the bed, my heart still palpitating because of what I'd seen, what had happened.

An image of Chidera's lifeless body lying on her bed, still in her nightwear refreshed in my mind, which heightened the well of tears inside me. I stared at my hands. They were shaking and I couldn't stop them from doing so. My recent nightmare flashed across my mind, the pain I'd felt, the way I'd stared at my hands, and how I'd cried watching the house burning nonstop. They were similar, then I realized... That was really a warning. That was a glimpse into what could be the future.

I slumped down onto the ground and burst into tears. Aunty Ruby was right... Why Chidera? She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to pass away this way. Chidera couldn't even marry the man she had so lovingly looked forward to since the holiday began. It wasn't fair and... it's all my fault. I did this to her... but I never wished for any of this. All I wanted to do was save them all, from the present and also the future. Was I in the wrong? For the first time in a very long time, I cried my eyes out.

I stood by the window, staring out into the compound, and watched as everything that was set up for the wedding was being taken down simultaneously. Someone stood at the gate, letting visitors know the wedding wasn't holding anymore and kindly asking them to return. This wasn't right. It really shouldn't be this way. The more I thought about how Chidera didn't deserve death, the more infuriated and beaten I felt. Once more, my eyes grew teary even though I'd just calmed down from crying so much. I couldn't control the tears anymore and they trickled down my cheeks. I walked away from the window and took my seat on the bed.

For hours, I haven't stepped out of the room. I felt too guilty to face any of them and stepping out means facing reality, accepting she really passed away. Gently, I brought my legs onto the bed and laid down on my side. I spaced out, staring at nothing in particular. There was a knock on the door. I pretended not to have heard it. Really, I didn't want to face anyone right now, at least not yet. Regardless of what I wanted; I heard the light creak from the door after someone had pushed it open. Hopefully, once the person sees my back, he or she would turn away. I heard footsteps approaching, and then it stopped. I lifted my eyes to realise it was mum. She held a tray in her hands.

"Get up and eat." She ordered, her face with little of an expression for me to decipher what was going on in her mind. I lowered my eyes away from her, refusing to do as she says.

"Kasiemobi, don't let me repeat myself." She warned, and when my eyes met hers once more, hers held seriousness. Unable to disobey her any further, I sat up and brought my legs down from the bed. She set the tray on the bedside table and uncovered the plate of food on it, carried it, then stretched her hand to me. I was reluctant to accept to collect the plate from her.

"Kasiemobi." Mum called in a deep and authoritative voice. I knew better than to play around any longer in disobeying her, so I stretched out my hands and collected the plate from her. I stared down at the plate of white rice and stew, a fried fish on the side. Normally, I would love to dig into this, but at the moment, I couldn't. I had no appetite and only felt like crying my eyes out. The bed space by my side moved, and I knew mum had taken her seat. There was silence for what felt like ages.

"Starving yourself will change nothing." She said, breaking the silence I thought would last longer.

"Death is inevitable... Yes, Chidera shouldn't have passed away at such a young age."

I burst into fresh tears, her words reminding of the fact that she's truly gone. Suddenly, I felt her arm around me. She shifted closer, so I was leaning on her.

"She really wanted to get married today, and now... she'll never be able to do that." I pointed about amidst sobs. The thought of it made me feel like the worst person there could be.

"It's okay... everything will be alright."

I leaned away from her to match her gaze. "Really? I'm sorry mum but I don't think so... Clearly, Chidera's murderer..."

"Shh, keep your mouth shut." She ordered in Igbo dialect. "Say nothing you won't be able to handle the consequences."

"I don't think there're any consequences worse than death."

"Kasiemobi." She called, her tone that of warning. Reluctantly, I looked away from her, then lowered my eyes to the food in my hands. I stared at it and simultaneously not stare at it. I felt lost in thoughts. The thought that Chidera had been murdered didn't settle with me. Slowly, the feeling of fury was finding its place in my heart. Inside, I was shaking with anger and the worst part... there seemed to be nothing I could do about her death and she deserves more than justice.

"We'll talk about this some other time. For now, eat your food." Mum urged, and I didn't want to look at her or say something I might regret later, so I remained silent. I could feel it. Something had changed in me. I couldn't cry anymore, or rather didn't want to. In fact, I'm done with crying, so I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand then took hold of the spoon. I mixed a bit of the white rice and stew, then scooped some into my mouth to chew and eventually swallow.

It didn't take long before word got out that Chidera had passed away. Sooner than later, we were receiving visitors expressing their condolences instead of congratulations to the wedding well done. The last time the house felt this gloomy and icy was when dad passed away. Now, thinking collectively, the same murderer had taken both their lives. Yet, not one member of the family has said anything about that. Everyone was acting like it was a normal death. No one desired to have the truthful conversation and to be honest, it was eating away at me.

Aunt Ruby hadn't said a word to me since then. She appeared okay, but from her puffy eyes, I knew she wasn't. I was yet to set my eyes on Eze, but I knew they had informed him of her death. I could only imagine the pain he was going through; Yet, I couldn't bring myself to check on him.

"Are you okay?" Cergio asked while we sat in the garden. I looked at him and lightly nodded before looking away.

"How's Eze doing?"

"He stays in his room all the time but... we spoke and he understands just how to overcome this hard time. Eze will be fine." Cergio explained, and again, I lightly nodded.

"Sometimes... It feels surreal and Chidera is going to show up any moment and apologise for playing such an expensive joke on us... but, I also know that's never going to happen... Her body is lying lifeless in the mortuary." I said before sparing him another look and, although I thought I might cry this moment, I didn't. In fact, I had no more tears to shed.

"She... Chidera was just twenty-four. She still had her entire life ahead of her and she didn't deserve to be murdered." I mentioned before turning to Cergio, who stared back at me, a bit of confusion detailed on his face. I gulped down, meeting his gaze head on. Maybe this was it... time for confession. Right now, he was the only one I could truly depend on and I believed it was right I tell him the truth.

"There's something you don't know about me or my family." I started, a part of me screamed not to go down that path, but I was tired... tired of the secrets. I need freedom, peace of mind, and I was going to have it.