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I AM KASIEMOBI

I stared at him, waiting for a reaction after I'd told him everything, including the nightmares, Kamalu, the deity and do it or death deal. I thought perhaps he would get up and walk away or look at me differently because honestly; it was a lot to take in, but none of that happened. Instead, Cergio took hold of my hand in his. A faint and yet warm smile played on his face.

"I can't imagine what you must've gone through these past weeks." He stated, his gaze soft and sympathetic. I stared back at him, nearly speechless that he wasn't ready to leave me. Crazy, no matter how many times he tells me he's here for me, I always somehow end up expecting him to leave when things get hard or when more truth surfaces to his assimilation just like the others in the past but I keep forgetting... he's not others. He's Cergio Suarez, a man who came into my life when I thought nothing could go right with me. Oh, how wrong I was.

"I want to put an end to that demonic deal... once and for all." I confessed, and recently, that was all I could think about, how to put a last stop to it.

"Help me... I'm ready to welcome Jesus into my life... I should have done so a long time ago but I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't know what I was missing out and I believed I didn't need his protection. Will you help me?" I asked. For the first time, I was more than sure about what I was doing and couldn't see things any other way.

He nodded, a smile drew on his face before he stretched out his other hand and I gently placed my hand in it so he had both of my hands in both of his.

"We're going to say a word of prayer and confession. I'll talk and you'll repeat after me... shall we?" He explained, and I nodded as I drew in a deep breath. Cergio's smile on his face stretched a little broader, and I knew it was his way of comforting me, letting me know everything was going to be alright. I smiled in return, then watched him close his eyes. I did the same right away.

"Jesus, I admit I am a sinner." He started, and I repeated after him.

"I have lived my life for myself only." He continued and, just like he said, I repeated.

"I am sorry and choose now to turn away from my sins and every part of my life that does not please you." Again, I repeated. "I believe you are the son of God, that you died on the cross to rescue me from sin and death and to lead me to the Father."

"I give myself to you and ask that you take control of my life." Then I repeated.

"From this day forward, help me become a person who is truly like you." I said after him. "Restore me, Jesus. Thank you, God. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

When we finished, I opened my eyes to meet a pair of his staring back at me, a smile on his face. "Congratulations... you're a new being." Cergio commented, and those words settled on me. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

New being. That sounded nice... that sounded like I've been reborn. A second chance to do it right this time. Silently, I relieved a sigh of relief, the feeling of peace taking over. For the first time, I actual felt I had a direction and I finally know who I am.

"Thank you." I appreciated; my gaze still fixated on him. He didn't need to reply. I could read his eyes and the smile on his face. I watched him lift my hand close to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

"You're welcome."

Feeling better than I've felt in the longest while, I walked towards the house. The moment my eyes fell on the person by the door, steadily, I drew to a stop and the feeling of warmth evaporated. It would seem uncle Chimdi was having a conversation with Kamalu and I wasn't sure if Kamalu just arrived or he was leaving. Either way, seeing him brought back memories and the feeling of anger. Chidera recently passed away owing it to his doing, and he was still bold enough to show his face.

Why is uncle Chimdi speaking to him? Isn't he upset? His daughter recently passed away, and the culprit is right in front of him. I don't understand. An image of Chidera's lifeless body flashed across my mind, and I felt infuriated. They looked in my direction and I stood my ground even as Kamalu walked up to me.

"My condolences." He said, putting on what should be a sympathetic look.

"I don't think you may say that."

There was silence for a minute. "What are you trying to say, Kasie? As my wife-to-be..."

"I will never be your wife." I interrupted whatever more he had to say. This time, I could look him straight in the eyes and this new found confidence was surprising even to me.

"You're upset, your cousin recently passed and you're not sure about the weight of your words..."

"I'm not blinded with grief... I meant what I said. Never ever will I become yours or your deity's. In fact, I've given my life to Christ and I believe he'll free and protect I and my family from your evil clutches." I boasted, without as much as an ounce of fear. His eyes held anger; I could tell. I watched him take a step closer.

"The death of your cousin wasn't enough of a warning, was it?" He asked in a low voice, and that was a clear confession. "When you play with fire, get ready to burn." He threatened, before walking away. For a few seconds, I watched him walk away towards the gate before I looked away. Uncle Chimdi was nowhere to be seen; he must've returned to the house.

The death of your cousin wasn't enough of a warning, was it? I recalled his words, and it annoyed me to the core that he could confess to killing her without a bit of remorse. What did Chidera ever do wrong? She didn't have to die. Neither Kamalu nor his god may declare who gets to live and who gets to die in my family. They're not our creators, so they're not allowed to will that much power against us.

... you can do this. Kasie, you've always had the power in you. Everyone does. You just have to open your eyes and tap into it.

Cergio was right. I have Jesus, and I can fight against this trouble with his help. I would rather believe God's ways have paved a way for me than accept a murderer as man fated to be my husband. Kamalu believes he has a connection to this family so he can maneuver his way, but... what if it didn't exist anymore? What if it's severed? Maybe that would be the beginning of our freedom... maybe that'll be the beginning of the battle we should have fought a long time ago. Maybe the members of my family can finally see reason, and maybe... this way, I could get justice for Chidera's death.

For a second, I shut my eyes and the moment they opened, I continued on my steps towards the house. Once I stepped in, I made my way up the stairs without making a noise and headed straight to mum's room. I'm not sure about her whereabouts, but I was sure she wasn't in her room. I confirmed my assurance when I pushed the door open, and she was nowhere to be seen.

Straight, I headed to the drawers of her dressing table and searched for the bunch of keys. Quick, I found it, then hastened my steps out of the room, quietly down the staircase and towards the kitchen. Lucky for me, no one was in the kitchen. Mum had asked the house helpers that usually come and go not to show up till called upon and I wasn't sure why mum said that, but maybe it was for the best. I picked up a matchbox and hurried my way out of the house once more, then headed straight to the generator house. There, I picked up the jerrycan of fuel and thus began my marching towards the dreaded hut.

Now, I'm watching the hut burn nonstop and I feel liberated, stronger. Finally, a change that has long been overdue. I felt a hand on my arm and then pull, forcing me to turn. Immediately, I did, a tight slap landed on my cheek. I placed a hand on that side of my face as I lifted, shifted my eyes to the person responsible for the slap. Aunty Ruby stood in front of me, her eyes held anger and she had a straight expression, the most serious I've ever seen in her.

This time, tears were gathering in my eyes, and my heart thumped fast and loudly within my chest.

"Why are you bent on seeing us dead? How is doing this going to bring Chidera back?" She asked, her voice filled with fury.

"That's... that's not the point of my actions." I defended amidst trying to control my tears and stop them from rolling down.

"Kasie, you've had no point in any of your actions. You think you're obedient, but you very much end up doing whatever you feel like. Chidera wouldn't be dead if you only heed to our words... All you had to do was get married. GET MARRIED. That was all, but even that, you still couldn't do it."

"YES! I couldn't do it because to me, it wasn't just a union... it's selling my soul to the devil but what does any of you care... you simply want to see me married off and you can all go back to living the wealthy perfect life. After all, Kasie is a woman, eventually, she's going to get married, let's just look at it as the same thing." I spoke back with everything in me, my voice higher than usual, and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Has anyone ever asked me how I'm doing, what goes on in my life? No one. Does any of you know the men in my past broke off the engagement because they see me as a masquerade, who kills them in their dreams? Do you know I haven't slept well since I got to the village because every night, I close my eyes, it's one horrendous nightmare or the other? It's the same masquerade hunting me everywhere. I've never been myself for as long as I could remember... I don't want to be that Kasiemobi, who must live forever with a deity, anymore... I want to be Kasiemobi, who is special and exist in her own way."

Trying to control myself, I gulped down and looked at each of their faces. They slightly mixed their expression with surprise and guilt. I sniffed, then wiped my tears away with my hands. It felt like someone had lifted an enormous weight off my chest.

This is it... I am Kasiemobi and I'm finally taking charge.