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KINSMEN

Breathe in... and breathe out.

I repeated repeatedly in my mind. My eyes shut, legs folded, I tried my best to empty my mind. My goal for reliving my yoga days was to relieve stress. Maybe I'll finally be able to sleep well at night. Although the room was quiet and the door shut, I could hear voices from downstairs. Aunty Ruby's the most. My brows squeezed as I felt the irritation coming on. Finally, I gave up and opened my eyes.

What is going on with them today? They're usually never noisy, or at least loud enough to my hearing. Do we have guests? We always seem to have one guest or the other. Sighing, I got up to my feet, put on my slippers, and made my way to the door.

As I neared the end of the staircases, I saw aunty Ruby directing the house help who held a tray of drinks towards the living. Okay, we definitely have a guest. She looked my direction and spotted me. Her eyes flared up in surprise, and I watched as she hurried her way to him.

"Oh no, no, no, you are going back to change into something presentable." She declared, forcing me around and dragging me back up the staircase towards my room. I felt even more speechless as she went through my box for something I could wear.

"Why didn't you unpack?" She queried, her tone not requiring a reply to her question. I shifted my eyes elsewhere, out of guilt. I unpacked but then packed again when I decided I was going to leave when no one's around.

"There's nothing here that is presentable enough for you to wear." She declared, giving up.

I furrowed my brows at her. "Who exactly is downstairs and why does it matter what I wear?"

She lifted her eyes to me and for a moment, I could see the hesitation in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. Put on an English wear, you'll still be beautiful." She stated before displaying a smile, and that didn't quite convince me.

"Here, this is perfect." She picked out and hurried to me. "Change right away." I stared at her with inquisitive eyes, but she wouldn't meet my gaze. "Kasiemobi be fast, there's no time to waste." She added in our dialect, urging me on towards the bathroom.

Just like a ram being dragged to the slaughter, so was I. It didn't matter how many times I asked Aunt Ruby, she wouldn't say, but she was good at dragging me along with her. Finally, I gave in and quietly went along all the way to the living room.

There was mum, uncle Chimdi, his son, Junior, three other male relatives and... Kamalu. I can't believe he's back. Why mum isn't listening to my decision? I'm unable to understand.

"Kasie, you've met Kamalu. Today, he's here with his kinsmen to ask traditionally for your hand in marriage." Uncle Chimdi introduced while wearing a ridiculous smile on his face. They all wore a smile on their faces and I fixated my gaze on mum, who met my eyes and even though I cried out to her with my stare to stop this, she simply widened her eyes at me, dishing out a good warning.

"Go on, Kasie, greet them." Uncle Chimdi urged once more, still wearing his ridiculous smile. I spared Kamalu a glance, and everything Jachi told me about his family came flooding back. Why are they doing this to me?

"Kasie, go on, don't be shy." Uncle Chimdi added in relation to my hesitation before he released a chuckle. His own annoying way of lightening the mood. I shifted my eyes to him. It was obvious I didn't support this, but none of them were ready to listen to me.

"Kasie." Mum called, and I didn't need to look at her to understand what that call meant. Quietly, I drew in a deep breath and wore a fake smile on my face. I think I know what to do. Casually, I walked up to Kamalu and his kinsmen. Humbly, I greeted them and they wore a wider smile on their faces as they nodded in acceptance.

"You're welcome our daughter." One of the older men declared, and they laughed as they nodded. "The last time we saw you, your father was still alive. He'll be happy in his grave." Another added, and it was becoming harder to maintain my smile. Everyone here seemed to understand what was going on except me. The mention of my father? Does this mean dad knew? How long has this plan been in motion and I just never knew?

Lightly, I cleared my throat.

"Can I speak with you in private, please?" I asked Kamalu, my gaze directly on him, and everyone else went silent as they stared at us. He stared at me for a good minute with a stagnant expression. Clearly, he hadn't expected that. I didn't want to look at my family's side for fear of being intimidated by their gaze or expression.

Suddenly, he let out a light and brief laughter. An obvious act to lighten the mood.

"My wife-to-be wants to talk to me in private." He repeated, still wearing a smile as he stood to his feet and I took notice of his attire for the first time since aunt Ruby dragged me into the living room. He'd gone all out in his dressing. On his upper body, he wore the ever-famous lion head print material that the Igbos cherish so much and his trouser, plain black. He wore a red bead bracelet on both wrists and same bead, but a wider version for a necklace. On his head, he wore the familiar leopard hat, also known culturally as Okpu Agu. It's woven with white, black and red stripes, an abstract depiction of leopard spots. In his hand, he held a small horse tail. Wow... he really came prepared.

"Go on, continue to discuss. We will be back shortly." He declared, regarding the silence the room had befallen. I was first to turn away, leading the way out of their presence and the living room to a corner that I believed was far enough from their hearing. He stood in front of me... actually, too close for my comfort, so I cleverly took a step back.

"I am here. Tell me, what is troubling you." He demanded, his tone very... macho. Mentally, I shook my head, deciding to not think about that. I lowered my eyes from his.

"Um... I'm not sure what is happening right now or how long this plan has been in consideration but..." I paused for a second, sparing his face a glance in order to tell from his expression if I'm using the right words. There wasn't much to decipher from his look. Well, okay.

"... But I believe this will not happen." I completed and watched, waited for his reply, but he simply blinked.

Suddenly, "what will not happen?"

I rolled my lips in for a second. This won't do. I need to be braver and louder. "I cannot, no... I will not marry you. This was obviously a big misunderstanding. I mean my family..." The rest of my words trailed away as I sighted Cergio walking out of the second living room alongside Eze, Chidera and Lota. Suddenly, I felt different. Mostly guilty, and I wasn't even sure why.

There was a desire to hide my face, not meet his eyes as they walked in our direction. For a second, I glanced their direction once more and our eyes met. I was quick to look away until they walked past. I looked back once to check if they've finally left the house, only to watch as they did. Looking away, a silent sigh of relief left my lips and when my eyes lifted, I met a pair of piercing eyes. Slightly, he tilted his head to the right.

"You will not marry me because of the white man?"

"W-what? N-no. That's not what I was trying to say..." The rest of my words trailed away as he took two steps closer to me, and I'm too surprised and frozen to take a good step backwards. His height towered over mine, and for the first time, I noticed a scar on his left cheek. His gaze was intimidating and scary. Suddenly, he seemed like a different man.

"As my wife, you're not allowed to have another man in your heart. It is frowned upon."

I furrowed my brows at his words. Wife? Frowned upon? He really didn't pay heed to any of my words. Tongue tied, I had to watch wide eyed as he tucked behind a loose braid from the rest of my braids.

"Even if the goat frowns, it won't stop it from being sold in the market... I will be back." He stated before walking away.

I huffed out a sigh of relief before looking his direction and watching him disappear back into the living room. Strangely, I believed he was going to curse me or something because of how Jachi had described him. I know I'm not a very religious person, but growing up in a religious country, hearing stories and seeing inexplicable things, you are afraid when the need arises. What did he say? I'm sure that was a proverb. It means something. I'm sure of it.

I search my memories for the understanding and then it hit me. Indeed, goats are being sold not by their choice and... Am I the goat? Is the market the marriage? So, in summary... he's trying to say he'll get his way.

I dropped my head to the back as a frown appeared on my face. This will not end easily, will it?