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YOU & I

My thoughts need to be occupied. I didn't want to think about my nightmares, Kamalu's strange marriage proposal, and at least, Cergio. Therefore, I took part in the house chores so much that my family members wouldn't stop staring at me. They wouldn't let me do much in the kitchen, so I took to mobbing the floors and wiping the dust off every surface I came across.

"Kasiemobi, what is wrong?" Mum asked as she met me in the living room, wriggling the water off the mob before placing it on the floor to clean.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I replied without looking up at her. She was silent for a while, that I believed she must have gone.

"Is this because of Kamalu and the marriage proposal?"

"What do you want me to say, mum? Yes? If I say that, will you stop disturbing me about accepting the proposal?" I queried the moment I lifted my eyes to her face. Her expression was the same, except she eventually drifted her eyes elsewhere.

"You won't." I stated, before continuing with mobbing.

"Kasie." She called, and I had to stop what I was doing, barely lifted my eyes back to her.

Mum placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay to be upset. Someday, you'll understand and you won't be angry anymore. Okay?" She commented, the look in her eyes were soft and empathetic. I nodded, although a part of me wishes she says more than that. Actually, tell me what the reason is, but she never did and I watched her walk away.

A sigh left my lips, and I went back to what I was doing. Thinking only about mobbing and where next to clean.

"Kasie, you need to come with me." Chidera called out while walking up to me. I lifted my eyes to her, away from the tiles I was mobbing in my room.

"Why? What is wrong?" I asked, as she locked her arm with mine. "Nothing but I need your advice on something important so come with me." Chidera added, her explanation vague, but her will was strong as she dragged me along with her.

"Why can't I give you the advice while standing in the room?"

"Well, because you have to see it and before knowing the right words to use." She explained and I could only shake my head at her while she took me along with her down the stairs and towards the smaller living room.

I spared her a look, a little confused by the direction we were heading. "The living room? I expected your room."

"Yes, that's right." She stated when we were at its entrance and she unlocked arms with me.

"I think I forgot what I had to show you back in my room. Go on in, I'll be back."

"We can always go there together." I suggested, taking a step to follow her.

"No." Chidera was quick to stop me. I furrowed my brows at her. Something strange is definitely going on with her. "Go in Kasie and I'll be back in a minute." She stated once more, but this time her running off was faster.

For a second, I watched her go before turning away and walking into the living room. The moment my eyes fell on him, I froze on the very spot I was standing while my eyes gradually widened.

"Hi." He greeted as he stood to his feet. Chidera! That's why she was acting strange.

"Hi." A word actually came through my lips. I wasn't sure I could speak, and yet, I did.

Cergio was here, in front of me. A man I've tried so hard all day to avoid. Yet, seeing him... it made me realise how much I'd missed him.

"Um..." He started as he took a few steps closer to me and I wasn't sure if it would be okay for me to take a few steps back.

"... The other day, you seemed a bit upset, and you left suddenly. I couldn't help wondering if you were okay. Did I say something to upset you?"

I shook my head at him. "No, it's not you... I..." I can't tell him what I saw. Maybe he'll think I'm crazy. Maybe he'll be understanding, but I still believe it'll be in his own interest if he doesn't get involved.

"... I didn't suddenly feel so well and I had to leave. Sorry about that." Hopefully, he won't see through my lie.

"Oh, I thought I upset you and... it broke my heart thinking that." He commented, and I wasn't sure about what to say next. Did he say I broke his heart? Well... that's not what I want.

Quietly, I rolled my lips in while I lowered my eyes from his, not sure about what reply to give.

"Kasie." Cergio called, and I lifted my gaze back on him. He looked me straight in the eyes, a serious and a bit of nervousness detailed across his face. I wasn't sure about what that means.

"The other day, I told you about a lady whom my heart is leaning towards... do you recall?"

What?

My insides stiffened, but I nodded anyway.

"She's... it's you."

Unplanned, my eyes gradually widened in surprise as my heart sank in and out within a second before it started racing, faster by the second. My hands by my sides slowly held on to my skirt, forming a fist. Did he really just confess his feelings to me? My lips felt glued together and I couldn't look away from him. I knew the present look on my face wasn't what any man would love to see after confessing his feelings, and yet, it seemed I'd frozen. Unable to express anything better.

Before, I assumed he felt the same way as I felt towards him, but it was an assumption. Then, I gave myself a good pep talk about staying away from him because it'll bring no good and now, he's here. How am I supposed to go on avoiding him after he tells me this? What do I say? I have to say something, right?

"It's okay. You don't have to reply to what I said. I know I surprised you." He added calmly, and it made me wonder if I was the only one going through this rush of excitement inside.

"I..." Finally, I got a word out, but the rest wouldn't follow as well and consistent as I would prefer.

"You don't have to give me a reply right now... I know, you're thinking, 'why is he doing this?' but I rarely felt this way about a woman and I prefer not to lie to anyone or to myself." He paused, staring at me, his gaze softer by the second. I knew he had more to say, something difficult for him to get out. Cergio lowered his eyes a little longer than I expected.

He lifted them back to me. "When you've gathered your thoughts, I'll be waiting this evening in the garden by seven to hear your reply, and I'll respect whatever you decide. If you don't show up, I'll also understand." A faint smile played on his face and I wanted to smile back, but I'm too stiffened up to display a proper one.

"I'll take my leave." Cergio stated and hesitated for a minute, our gaze still locked together.

Say something. A voice in my head urged, but I couldn't get the words out even as he walked past me. He's really leaving. I should say something. Finally, I turned, intending to speak. First step after him, suddenly, I stopped... Is it okay for me to give my reply? Truth be told, doing that won't change the fact that all my problems still exist. I'll just be giving him the key to tackling them as well.

I watched him leave the room. This is most probably the best. Somehow, I'm grateful I wasn't able to say anything. Only God knows what I would have said. In a sigh, I slumped down to a seat on the sofa and while my head rested back on the head rest, I stared at the ceiling.

I'll be waiting this evening in the garden... I recalled his words. What do I do? Not show up? I feel so torn apart.

Chidera's face came in front of my face. "Are you okay?"

My brows furrowed and instantly I sat up, pumped with anger. "You, I'm going to kill you." I declared as I got up to my feet. In fear, Chidera took more than a step back.

"You're angry? You're not supposed to feel that way... aren't you happy to see him?"

"Chidera, I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing with my life and you interrupted it. Now, if I get you, I'm going to give you a good beating." I commented before going after her, but she simply ran away to the other side of the room.

"I was only trying to help. Come on, Kasie, you know you like him. Why are you giving Cergio such a hard time?"

"It's not your business." I replied, then ran after her again, but she simply ran away again.

"Listen, Eze said Cergio is different. He's not like most men. He's kind, caring, and this is the first time he's seeing him really care about a woman."

"Why? Because I'm much prettier than the women over there?" My response was sarcastic, and I ran after her again, but she only ran to the other side of the room.

"Obviously no, but he took a liking to you for reasons known to him alone. Tell me, he confessed to you, didn't he?"

I was silent, simply staring back at her.

"Your silence says he did. Why are you making a big deal out of this? Just tell him you feel the same way." She said, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's not that easy. Fine, I say yes, and then what? He'll still leave at the end of the holiday and I'll still be here. Plus, his world differs from mine and he's... he's a pastor. I'm not suited for him."

Chidera buried her face in her palms for a second and when she released it, she boldly walked up to me. She placed both of her hands on my arms and looked straight into my eyes.

"Look, I know you prefer to be matured about a lot of things and think about the future most of the time but for once, can you live in the moment? Let things play out, the result might be better than you imagine." Chidera advised, and suddenly, she seemed so grown up. If only I could tell her it wasn't just what I mentioned, but also because of the nightmares and inexplicable force that I sometimes feel surrounding me. She would never understand.

One after the other, I took hold of her hands on my arms, bringing them back down to her side. "I have to go back to what I was doing." I mentioned before turning away.

"Mobbing?" She asked as she followed me, but I simply ignored her. I stepped out of the living room, only to draw to a halt at the sight of mum. Chidera did the same and watched as she looked from me to her and back to me. Her expression wasn't good.

Please, let it be mum didn't hear a single word of my conversation with Chidera.