Alistair remained heavily medicated for several days and it felt like those were the hardest days of my life. They would allow the drugs to wear off so he could eat some solid food and drink water instead of getting all of his nutrients through the IV and to see how he was faring. It seemed like the best idea at the time, but each time he would wake up he would let out a hiss of pain and look around desperately, prepared for all kinds of awful danger. His body would jerk and jostle as he tried to get a bearing on where he was. His mother and father would leap into action right away, soothing him until he allowed himself to breathe and I would sit far away, knowing I would only push unwanted memories on him.

We shared a few words after he had woken up entirely. I would gently touch one of his hands and he would tell me how grateful he was that I was okay and he would relax further when I told him that Sophie was okay too, that Jasper had saved her. But it was always fleeting. He was frequently exhausted and they would put him under to have the cycle start again in a few hours.

I felt compelled to stay with him at the beginning but it became very clear that this was going to be a long process. And a wildly painful one at that. Some would argue that Alistair needed me more than ever in those moments when he woke up completely haunted by the events. But it became obvious that it was not my place. Alistair's family was beyond lovely and accommodating to me, not complaining when I insisted I sleep there for the first night and then the second. They always acknowledged me in conversation and made sure that I was fed and as comfortable as I could be in a hospital room. Plus, it kept me close to Sophie which only made me want to stay more.

And, if I was being entirely honest, I was a little terrified of the outside world now. Not only had I survived something terrible many people seemed to think that I was guilty. Though the camera had cleared me of that I knew that many people would never be able to see Josh as the monster that he truly was. I wasn't prepared to face all the judgment but I doubted I would ever be.

Though, after a few attempts, it seemed that Alistair was remembering that danger was not imminent he still would become more anxious and more upset when his gaze fell upon me. And seeing him so terrified with clear damage still marking his face and body I would struggle to hold back a torrent of tears. Even so, the Kingsley family always encouraged me to stay until about the third day in.

"Come on, I think it's time for you to go home." Jasper stated bluntly.

I blinked my bleary eyes several times before staring up at him. My body was aching madly from spending so long in the god forsaken arm chair beside Alistair's bed but I refused to move. In fact, Jasper suggesting I move almost felt like a challenge.

"I'm not leaving him after everything." I replied tightly.

"Sophie gets released today." Jasper countered.

"Oh God, I almost forgot." I whispered, rubbing a hand over my face.

"She's going to need you almost as badly as you need a shower right now. And you need to start prepping for your court case. The camera proved that killing Josh was an act of self-defense but there are still plenty of events you need to make statements about. And your parents..."

"Let's go." I agreed.

I didn't want him to continue on. My main propriety was my best friend.

I couldn't go back to the condo. I thought it was untouchable after Josh or one of those following his orders had trashed the place so badly all those months ago. It had given me chills to be back there. I couldn't imagine how badly it would make my skin crawl now, after everything that had happened there. So I opted out and told Jasper to take me to one of the nicest hotels in downtown. Yes, a small space with reasonable security seemed like the best option.

He dropped me off at the front door of one of the most expensive hotels and reminded me that he would be bringing Sophie along shortly. Though she had healed much faster than Alistair and her injuries were less severe I knew that the true damage that had been done was emotional. Her parents were helping as best they could, but they needed to return to their lives and Sophie needed to prepare herself to face the world again. For now she would be my crutch and I would be hers. Plus, Jasper agreed that having one guard at one location was the most reasonable option in terms of man power.

I found the different scenery of the hotel oddly comforting and unnerving all at once. It was a mix of being relieved that I was finally alone and terrified that I was vulnerably alone. In the new space I felt like my violent ex fiancé could be lurking anywhere. I had to take several deep breaths and check, then recheck, all of the closets and dark places in the hotel. Once that was cleared, I allowed myself to change out of the clothing that Alistair's family had supplied two days ago. I'm fairly certain that the clothing belonged to Alistair's mother and I had been grateful for it but now that I was viewing myself in a mirror I could see how ridiculous I looked.

After a quick phone call to one of my favorite stores I hopped into the shower and scrubbed my body for all I was worth. Though I had used cleansing wipes at the hospital every day in and effort to stay clean I didn't feel any less filthy at the time. It was my first shower since the attack. As the steaming water poured over me I felt like it was going deeper than my skin, weeping through my memories of that horrible day and all that I had lost. Whatever blood, dirt, or dust I had accumulated at the crime scene was dripping down the drain.

I don't know how long I stayed in there and I'm sure I would've stayed another eternity if there hadn't been a knock at the door.

Shortly after my clothing arrived Sophie came.

For a long time we could do nothing aside from hold each other and sob. We repeatedly promised each other that we would get through this together; we would fight this battle head on side by side. Knowing that we were fighting the same battle made it nearly impossible to be optimistic.

But we kept our promise.

The next day I went back to work with Sophie in tow. I held an emergency meeting and for the first time ever I introduced myself to my employees as Camila Lopez. I explained what I could, telling everyone that things would become much clearer after the lawsuit progressed. Everyone was stunned, but the heavy weight of the lies that settled on me all those years ago finally lifted away.

Then I made a few phone calls and one hefty payment and presented Hope with the newest model of her vehicle. Much better than the one that was still parked outside of my condo. She was so happy she threw her arms around me and cried softly against my shoulders. I repressed the urge to flinch at her advances. Once the fear faded it felt marvelous to know that I had made such a difference.

That was enough for my first day though. Sophie was trailing me around, ready to test her social interactions but unprepared to confront her own co-workers. When it was only noon we decided it was time to head back to our hotel room.

What was supposed to be a recovery period turned into another fit of tears and confessions. Sophie did give me some information on what had happened with Josh before I had arrived for the first time. She told me that she and Alistair must've had someone slip some kind of drug into their drinks when they were sorting out the legalities of capturing Josh. The two of them had woken up beside each other in my condo, confined to the chairs that I had found them in later. Often when she spoke about this her voice would break. Her hands would tremble at her sides and tears would well in her eyes. Then she would start telling me all the things she should've done differently. Once she got into that state I knew I couldn't push her any harder without encouraging a panic attack. I couldn't imagine how many times she had to tell Jasper's men the same story with no one to hold her as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Now I was with her and I repeatedly assured her that Jasper was personally looking into his team. He had been furious when someone had leaked information about the events to my parents. I couldn't imagine how livid he was when Sophie told him that the same person had probably drugged his own brother.

Between merging back into work, helping Sophie, almost daily therapy sessions, and working with Jasper to give my statements against my parents, against Smith, and anyone else who might've been involved, my days were slipping by quickly. Too quickly. I had wanted to start rebuilding my life, but I had only taken a single baby step in the process. It felt like one day I was being coaxed to get out of the hospital and the next I was waiting outside of the hospital in my Volvo.

My eyes landed on Alistair as soon as he exited the hospital. He was wearing the same clothing that he had been when I first met him. A college hoodie, plain, dark jeans, and one runner. As he got closer I could see the frustration on his face. Underneath the dark hair that kept falling in his face his green eyes were scorching with annoyance. I didn't doubt that it was due to the crutches he was awkwardly wielding and the casted leg that was held high off the ground.

I slipped out of my SUV and opened the passenger door for him. I wanted to be radiating confidence when I first saw him. I knew he would need all the love and support he could tolerate. But I was so anxious. It was my first time seeing him fully conscious since the murder. He could loathe me.

"I hate this." He hissed out when I was within hearing distance. It was hard to catch his voice over the clicking of his crutches. He moved around me without batting an eye or cracking a smile.

"You are doing really well if this is your first time on crutches." I praised.

But the words were out of my mouth too soon. As he tried to set the crutches against my car he lost his balance. His body teetered forward then he leaned backwards, over compensating for the loss. Just as he was about to tumble backwards I moved my body behind him, my hands grabbing onto the material of his hoodie. It took me a second to steady his shaking form.

"I got you." I whispered.

Then, still holding onto his sweatshirt, we moved together until he was safely tucked into my car, his casted leg forcing his body to be in an awkward position.

"Thank you, Camila." Alistair said, staring straight ahead. Clearly, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Hey," I murmured. I let my fingers reach up and touch his face, tenderly steering his gaze back towards me. All the worry from before was replaced with a new, selfless kind. "This is hard on all of us. You're allowed to struggle. There is no shame in it."

"I'm useless." He snapped.

And I knew this went far deeper than just his leg, just his physical injuries. It was my first time seeing him when he wasn't still groggy and under the influence of heavy pharmaceuticals. He was trying so hard to be strong but his eyes were so tormented. He knew nothing other than work, nothing other than being solid and unbreakable. He didn't know how to be irrevocably shattered.

I wanted to help him. I wanted to soothe away all the pain that this terrible event had caused. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't undo what had already been done.

So I just leaned down and pressed my lips softly to his forehead.

"We'll get through this, Alistair." I murmured, "Together."

He sucked in a breath and let it out in a slow hiss.

I expected a rebuttal or a few harsh words. Something angry. But when he peered up at me through his thick eyelashes I knew the fury was gone. Terror and grief had taken its place. but there was a willingness there now, too.

"Together, ma chérie."