I didn't know how I was supposed to feel when I was left alone in Alistair's clinical room. I could picture him laughing and lazily tossing himself on the made bed before encouraging me to join him. He would scoff at me if I told him I didn't want to invade his privacy. We had been such a massive part of each other's lives for months that it almost felt foolish standing bleakly in his bedroom, acting like it was a museum more than a living space.

But I knew that he had left me with his parents in hopes that I would be comfortable and the reality of the situation was that my body was exhausted and I had no clean clothes to speak of since we packed up so brashly. He would look at the situation reasonably and understand why I had made my choices. It didn't make me less anxious when I pulled open his closet doors and I didn't feel like less of a vandal, but it was bore out of necessity. I'm sure he would rather I poke through his closet than sleep in his bed wearing gross clothes that had been through an airport, on an airplane, and then outside in the brutal cold.

I found a soft tee-shirt and sweat pants, deciding that they would have to do, but was slightly comforted by the idea that something of Alistair's was with me.

Double checking that the door was locked and shut I stripped out of the grubby clothes and slid into the softer fabrics. I smiled to myself when I saw an emblem for a rugby team on the shirt and a similar badge on the sweatpants though it was for snowboarding.

I wandered out to the laundry room I had spotted earlier and put everything in the washing machine before ambling back to the room. I was thankful that I hadn't been spotted frolicking around without a bra on while wearing Alistair's clothes. His family seemed to be very understanding but that would be too awkward for me to handle.

As I rumpled up the bed I wondered what Alistair had been like as a child. I could easily recall the way he commanded the crime scene that my house had become, the way he wasn't fazed in the slightest when I questioned his authority. And through our relationship- which evolved considerably over time- he never really seemed to be awkward or insecure about anything. He had always been self-assured and guiding in a way that could only be natural. There was always a wild atmosphere of confidence that swirled around his person. So picturing him as a child or a gangly teen was a struggle.

Once I had snuggled myself under the sheets I felt a little less like a parasite and more comfortable in the space. When I considered being on the other side of the situation, that I would have to leave Alistair after such a draining flight, I would want him to be warm, content, and have a belly full of food. I would want him to rest soundly in my house until I could be with him again.

But now that I was alone and my world felt a little more stable I began to think about something I had been avoiding. Now that we were home, now that we weren't fully reliant on each other, what would happen to us? Was there even an 'us'?

There was no denying my feelings and I wasn't ludicrous enough to convince myself otherwise.

Alistair had been the very person I so desperately needed in Europe. He had been a leader and a protector when I had no one else. But it was so much more than that. He knew most of the darkest secrets that had complied over my life. He knew that I had done what was required to survive a terrible situation and never berated me for it. But he also never looked at me like I was a victim. He never treated me like some skittish creature that couldn't overcome trauma. He treated me the way I needed, like someone who had rebuilt their life for the better, almost like I had been reborn.

On top of that he made me laugh when I felt like all I could was cry. He knew how to ease away the violent nightmares and tolerated the cheesy movies that were required to chase away the uneasy feelings. He was serious and strong, a vibrant self-starter for his age and deeply accomplished. But I had seen him be a little goofy, laugh a little too loud. I had seen the sides of him that he rarely showed. I loved that side.

And he respected that I was my own person and it seemed like he wanted to be part of my journey.

But I couldn't be sure. Yes, he had done kind things for me. Yes, we had been intimate. But I doubted either of us expected it to get this far and we never discussed what would happen when we got home. We were living in a very heated, very tense world. It was only nature that those kinds of things would occur and maybe they weren't supposed to mean anything.

Perhaps the moments that I thought were beautiful and ground breaking were nothing but casual occurrences to Alistair. Maybe he thought we would enjoy the time we had together to the best of our abilities and when it was over we would go our separate ways. And I couldn't argue, I couldn't counter, because we had never agreed to more and it wasn't fair to put any stipulations in place after the fact.

Feeling annoyed and anxious I jammed my eyes shut and willed myself to sleep.

By some miracle it worked. My exhausted body tumbled into a fitful sleep rather easily.

I woke up after several hours of tossing, turning and snoring. Feeling more exhausted than I had when I arrived I was quite shameless about bumbling around and finishing my laundry. After everything ad dried I slipped back into my old clothes, but put a hoodie of his overtop of my shirt. Then I ventured upstairs with my wild bedhead, ready to face the day before me.

"Good morning." Emma chippered the moment she saw me.

She was already buzzing around the kitchen with an apron cinched around her waist.

"Morning." I muttered, "Has Alistair come back yet?"

"No, not yet. These things take a fair bit of time. I wouldn't expect him back for another few hours. He and Sophie are probably sitting in front of a dozen computer monitors, eating cheap takeout. Everyone thinks the life is a glamorous one until they see all the paper work attached to it."

"But this is my case; I should be handling it, or at least helping." I protested. "And if it's just staring at computer screens then there is no reason I'm here and not there."

Emma gave me a sympathetic smile and gestured to the bar stools at the island.

"If you are the one who started the fight that puts Josh Green behind bars then you will have done more than enough. And this is beyond you I'm afraid. Building a legal case against that scum is going to take more than a few documents with vague proof. They need a mountain of damning evidence that will be presented properly."

A plate piled high with bacon, eggs, and hash browns was shoved towards me. I smiled slightly, thinking that this was infinitely a better option when considering the meal of fruit that Alistair had presented me with when we arrived in Paris.

But my smile fell fast.

"How many other people has Josh hurt?" I asked softly, staring down at the food, but feeling quite sick to my stomach.

"It's impossible to tell just yet." Emma said, "Your friend does amazing work, but there's only so much that someone can do from a foreign system. Once America sees what he's done they'll crack open the government files and all the strands that we're missing in the web will come to light. For now, we will just work with what we have."

"And what do you have?"

"Well, most importantly we have you. You are an amazing asset. And you need to have faith in Sophie. She has found a damning trail that leads directly to Green. She's the best tech I've ever met, you're very lucky to have her, but I am curious as to how you two came together."

"Why is that?"

"I know your parents. Rather, I know of your parents and I can imagine the children they would rear. I can't fathom them adoring the fact that you wanted to be friends with someone who didn't particularly care about image and had no social standing or wealth to speak of."

"They didn't love her, and I didn't either at the beginning. But I think she knew I needed help. And when I was really in trouble and there were obvious signs she was the only person who stuck around. Everyone else kind of fell away, thinking I was turning into someone reclusive or anti-social. She helped me when I needed it most and she keeps helping me, even when I seem like a lost cause."

"Well, she is absolutely lovely and you are very lucky to have her." Emma said, "She has even been monitoring your company remotely, making sure that the place didn't go up in flames with no one to properly guide it."

"So no one took my place?" I whispered.

I frowned heavily, unsure if this was a good thing or a bad one. It was nice to know that I was not to be replaced so easily and that someone had obviously been fighting for me so aggressively in my absence. On the other hand I worried what had happened to my company if no one had been pulling the strings.

"Maybe it's time you go back to work." Emma murmured, a tiny smile touching her lips.

"You're right, but what do my employees know about my absence?"

"Only what you tell them. Everything had to be kept very quiet so we covered under the idea that your Calgarian parents had a bit of an emergency and you had to leave very suddenly. That being said, there were obviously rumors spread due to your nosy neighbors who saw the arrest."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of black hair and the lines of a dark tattoo on the left arm. Through an instinct I turned to glance and almost felt the same delight flood through my body that occurred when I saw Alistair. But the form was too large and the movements were too rough. It was Jasper.

"I'll call a cab." I muttered, sliding off the bar stool, "Thank you so much for everything."

"No need, I'll take you." Jasper said.

"You don't have to do that."

"It's no trouble at all. I need to get out of the house. After the intense work I had in Belgium sitting still isn't something I like doing. Plus, I promised Dallas I would take him skating. We can drop you off on the way."

I felt like I couldn't deny the offer without being rude so I piled into the most luxurious- and expensive- SUV I had ever been in. Though Dallas was safely strapped in and more than delighted to chug a juice box I was terrified to touch anything. I might've made good money in the oil industry but this was beyond my pay check.

"There's so many buttons." I breathed, staring at the steering wheel.

Jasper just laughed, his brown eyes surprisingly unguarded for once, "This job has its perks and a hefty pay check is one of them."

"Must be," I whispered, "this car costs like half a million last time I checked."

"Car girl are you?"

"A bit, my dad was a mechanic before everything else took off."

"I figured you love your cars, that sports car you have is pretty deadly and definitely not stock."

"Thank you." I replied, feeling my cheeks get red.

A compliment from Jasper struck me harder than I thought it would. And to be fair it wasn't even about me or my integrity, it was about my vehicle. Still, I couldn't hold his eyes and ended up staring out the window watching the city, my city, roll by.

I thanked Jasper profusely when he dropped me off at my building. I thought I would hesitate, look at the logo that could be seen for hundreds of meters and wonder what had happened in my absence, what people would be saying about my return. But the frigid air made my contemplation brief. There was a slight reluctance in my step then a gust of wind convinced me that indoors was the best place to be.

Once I was through the doors I stopped completely, marveling at how my life had changed so much, but this place was still the same. Just the way I had left it.

I looked entirely out of place as I was still wearing one of Alistair's sweaters- with a bra and teeshirt underneath now- and a pair of thrift store jeans.

But even though I stuck out like a sore thumb I knew this place. I knew these painted walls and the heavy stone floors. I knew the men who were laughing amongst each other, walking by with cups of coffee. I knew the art that hung on walls, looking bold and impressive though it had been bought at a department store.

"Celeste." Someone whispered.

And that was all it took for the world to still. Everyone who was near the main reception stopped. They all turned to stare at me. A blonde woman pushed through the small crowd that had formed. My small, stone faced receptionist suddenly couldn't contain her emotions.

"Miss Davidson." Hope breathed.

Yes, I was home.

***So, I kind of ended up loving Jasper more than I ever thought I would. How do you feel about him now?***