It became infinitely clear that while I wanted to confront every little thing that happened between Alistair and I, he was on the opposite end. The next morning we were both sober after sleeping in separate beds. My head had a dull ache within it, but it was the embarrassment which kept me in my little bed, under a cocoon of thick blankets. I wasn't sure if I was grateful that we had stopped when we did before it got worse and I had a panic attack later on- at a more delicate time- or if I wished that I had forced myself to stay grounded and reasonable for a while longer just to see what would happen.

It had been so long since I had been with a man and I had only ever been with Josh. I just wanted to know what someone else felt like, tasted like. And Alistair was a man I felt I trusted enough. Still, was it worth the risk?

But I knew that if I pondered what ifs any longer Alistair would come looking for me out of concern and I didn't want him to come hunting for me. So I forced myself out of bed and got dressed. A few moments later I had my hair brushed and my breath was minty, then I was heading into the kitchen where he was already sipping tea on a bar stool and flicking through a spreadsheet.

"Hey." I whispered tensely.

"Morning." He replied with a bright smile, "I made extra eggs and toast if you want them."

And just like that I knew that we wouldn't be discussing last night's events. And this time I was okay with that. I didn't know what to say about what had happened. I didn't want to apologize again, I hadn't forced myself on him, he had seemed like he had wanted it just as much as I had. And I didn't want to try and explain what had happened, dripping into a very dark and exposing trail of tales from my past. For now I decided that it was best to leave it as it was. What had happened was in the past. If he wanted to broach the topic than I would allow it and respond appropriately, but I didn't feel the need to make the first move.

We floated around each other in a relatively comfortable understanding for a few days. Everything was alright on the surface but I knew that it could all fall to shambles if one of us said or did the wrong thing. So it was always eagerly agreeing to everything the other person suggested and very boring, light conversations.

Finally, after a week of walking on social eggshells Alistair decided it was time for an outing.

"I'm going swimming, would you like to join me?" he asked.

"There's a pool?" I peered out the window, surveying the village around me.

None of the buildings looked large enough to house a public swimming pool.

"Not here, in Kosice. It's one of my favorites. It's more like a thermal spring water spa. After all the sightseeing we've done I think it might be nice to have a more relaxing day."

The idea of staying home alone was enticing. I could curl up in front of the TV and submerse myself in movies, ignoring the previous events completely. Or I could have a few hours to sort through the wild thoughts that whirled through my head and confront all of the feelings that tore at me quite constantly. It would allow me to regroup.

But it would also give me too much time to over think and I knew that I would have a hard time when Alistair returned back home. I would be awkward and uncomfortable around him once more and the process would restart itself.

Ultimately, my sore feet and tender back won out of the desire to hermit.

The spa and wellness center was gorgeous, clean, and perfectly modern. I purchased a cheap one piece and was delighted when it actually fit me quite well, hugging my hips nicely and actually covering my full breasts. I padded out of the change room with a towel wrapped around my body, a little self-conscious around the fit and blonde women that were already frolicking in the shallow water. Once I found a secluded section of the water I discard the towel onto a nearby chair and ambled into the water.

The warmth soothed away all the aches instantly and though I was a terrible swimmer I still attempted to doggy-paddle around, delighted with the feeling.

"Pretty nice isn't it?" Alistair murmured.

I ungracefully spun my body around in the water, probably looking as awkward as I felt. And Alistair was sitting on the edge of the pool, his legs in the water and a boyish smile on his face. Seeing him shirtless again was enough to make me look away quickly, but I still did laugh a little, trying to cover up the inappropriate memories that flooded my mind.

"It's lovely, much better than any swimming pool I've been to back home." I agreed.

Alistair slowly lowered himself into the water. I made such I kept my eyes off of him as he moved and surveyed the people around us. The closest group was two couples, speaking in Slovakian and laughing loudly. They were about sixty feet away, which obviously was far enough for Alistair to not be concerned with them.

"Where is home for you?" he asked softly, floating towards me.

"Ottawa." I answered instantly, without thinking, "It might not be where I was born or raised, but it is where I started my own life. And my business..." I trailed off, my heart tightening at the thought of all my employees.

I hadn't allowed myself to think of my old life for a long time because every time I visited the idea it hurt too much. They must've been furious with me. They probably thought I just up and left in the middle of the night. The people that I cared about deeply must've assumed I just left them stranded, abandoned them. Maybe operations had stopped all together as the government tore apart my company, thinking that I had built my empire with Josh's money. Or maybe someone else had taken my position.

My beautiful creation could've been slammed on someone else or had been dismantled completely.

"But you've moved around a lot more than I ever have. Just Anaheim and Ottawa for me. So where do you call home?" I quizzed, trying to distract myself.

"Ottawa too." He answered, "I might've moved around a lot as a child, but I always knew that I would have to work in Canada and there's no better place to work, in my industry, than the capital." He mused, "It's just always been home, I guess. Once I moved there I realized that I was done all of my training and everything I had worked so hard for was finally happening."

"Tell me about your training." I encouraged.

Though it was a baby step I felt like he was opening up slightly. I wanted to take the opportunity to get inside his head a little more.

"Not much to tell. Did some physical training with this group that specializes in my industry. Pretty intense workouts all the time, but I think it was less about making sure that you were at your peak physical capacity and more about making sure that your brain could handle all of your body's limits pushed. That in addition to a ton of random stuff. I took about four college classes a week that would help me in my field; you know biology, psychology, and chemistry. Then I extra lessons that the government offered specifically for people like me. Those consisted of anything from how to do first aid on someone who has been shot to how to use common household items to create convincing disguises."

"That's not a thing." I protested with a laughing, thinking of Alistair dressed as an old woman, "You're messing with me."

Alistair gave me a cheeky grin and swam closer to where I was treading water, "You never know what will save your life, you have to be prepared for anything."

"Do you even like art or dancing?" I demanded. "Or was that all just a wonderful cover to sweep me off my feet?"

The words were unexpected and quite abrupt but this time I wasn't angry. I now understood why he had done everything. I didn't want to confront him about it anymore; I just wanted to know him better.

"Art is great to a degree. I think a lot of people pretend random things are art when they really aren't all that much. Some people just want to be pretentious and act like everything on the Earth is art, even legitimate garbage. But, that being said art is subjective. However, dancing is not my thing by any stretch."

"So you just did it to get to me?"

"I figured I wouldn't have a shot with a beautiful and successful woman like yourself unless I had something other men didn't. I'm just lucky no one else knew how much you liked to dance. I also knew that Josh didn't like to dance so I figured that I would have an added edge in the sense that I would stand out from him in a positive light."

His confession startled me. I wasn't naive. I knew that he had looked into my life extensively. I knew that he understood things that only my closest friends would know about me. But over time I had started to see him as something other than a government agent. Knowing that he had gathered all this information on me and my fiancé was a bit of a shock.

"Tell me what you know about Josh." I whispered.

"Not very much. I just know that he didn't dance with you all that often. He has a very public life, I felt like everything I needed to know about him was already out in the open until I met you. So why don't you tell me about him?"

I gave him a wary look.

"This isn't an interrogation." He clarified quickly. "I just want to know more about your life with him."

I bumbled through the water until I hit a shallow enough part that would allow me to simply plant my feet on the bottom instead of continuing to tread water. Alistair followed why continually checking to make sure that everyone was still out of hearing range.

"Honestly, aside for all of the awful stuff he was just a very bad boyfriend. If he didn't have the money and the power I don't think any woman could be interested in him." I admitted. "He was the most fake person I had ever met in my life; it just took me too long to see it. Before we were engaged I enjoyed being carted around and treated like a princess by everyone in the vicinity. We hopped from one social event to another, but he always kept an eye on me and always made sure I was happy. I think he just wanted to make sure I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything terrible."

"You don't seem like the type that would enjoy doing that." Alistair mused, appearing to be interested in the words that were spewing from my mouth.

"I really did at the time. But then we got engaged and I was slipping out of my high school mentality. I was tired of being around people all the time and I felt we needed time to grow as a couple. We spent almost every day together but I didn't actually know who he was because he was always talking to someone else. I knew what reporters and colleagues saw and that was it. But he hated staying in. In this weird way he's lazy and boring but too social and perfect."

Alistair just raised an eyebrow, clearly not following me.

"Like he has a great reputation because he's nice. That's it. He's not funny. He's not particularly well educated. He's not witty. To be honest I don't even think he was that attractive. I mean, he wasn't unattractive to me, there was just nothing that caught my eye about him. And, though he was nice to everyone else he wasn't to me. So he had no qualities that I liked."

"So you're telling me that you had no personal reason for agreeing to marry him?"

"No reason at all. He was bland and boring. He couldn't hold an intense conversation to save his life if it wasn't about his work. We always went on vacations to the same spot because it had high enough security and exclusivity that he could do his drugs and get absolutely wasted without worrying about who saw. I think he tried to stay home and have a quiet night with me once and he ended up calling the office in the middle of the movie because he was so bored. I was pissed because all I wanted to do was get to know the man I was marrying and he couldn't even sit with me for a couple hours."

"We're you watching a chick flick?" Alistair asked teasingly.

"Of course, but that's not the point. He never did anything for me. He never took time off when I asked. He never danced with me unless there was press looming around. He had the money but he never took me on a drug free vacation. One time I suggested we stay in and try and follow the cooking channel because I was so sick of eating out and he told me that that's what poor people do. Who even says that? What kind of privilege is that?"

"I guess I'm broke." Alistair said with a loud laugh.

"Sorry, I'm whining." I said, suddenly realizing how bad I sounded.

"You're not." He assured, "I asked because I wanted to know and if we're being fair he sounds terrible, even without all the other things attached."

"Oh God, he was the worst." I said, exasperated, "I've never met someone with so little personality. His only purpose was to be perfect in the eyes of the public and to keep up a luxurious lifestyle that, if we're being totally honest, he can't even afford."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, his whole life is one payments and all of his lines of credit are maxed out. I was terrified to have kids because of the amount of debt he had accumulated. I mean, he makes good money, but he spends a lot more."

"That must've been quite a shock to you, seeing as you bought both of your cars cash and your condo was almost paid off already."

I paused again, looking at his green eyes that were filled with compassion and a kiss of humor. No, he certainly wasn't the same agent who had yanked me out of my home and he was the man who always kept a hand against the small of my back and loved sharing all the knowledge that was trapped in his mind. But he was a man who had tapped deep into my life.

"You know everything about me."

"I had to." He replied easily, but I could see that he was worried about how this conversation could twist on him.

"Well, it worked out for you." I mused.

"I suppose it did but I never thought it would bring me here."

"I'm sorry, I ripped you away from your whole life." I apologized, looking at my hands through the water.

I was used to this. I knew this was going to be a part of my reality when I ran away. I never expected to bring someone else with me into this world. First Sophie. Now Alistair.

"I'm not sorry." Alistair responded, his voiceso quiet I almost didn't hear it over the splashing of water. Then, veryquickly, his attitude changed, "Come on, did you see the waterslide when youcame in? It's probably the best one I've ever gone down." 

*****What do you think of their relationship now? Could you date someone who was boring? Let me know! Vote and comment if you liked it, it means the world to me!*****