My eyes burst open. I couldn't breathe. My hands went to my throat, trying to claw the obstruction away. My nails dug into soft flesh and I heard a man hiss out in pain, but the grip remained firm around my neck. I instantly knew that resistance and that voice.

Josh.

Every fiber of my body begged me to fight in an effort to save my own life. Every part of me wanted to scratch at his hands, to go for his eyes that I could barely see in the dark, or to punch out until I struck something soft. My lungs burned in my chest, screaming for air. I began seeing dark spots in my vision. My head was starting to fill with a numb dizziness that could only come from lack of oxygen. I knew that I couldn't last much longer like this.

But fighting him would only make him hold out longer. In his anger at my resistance he would want to punish me more. And maybe, tonight would be the night that he pushed too hard. Maybe, if I provoked him I wouldn't wake up again. So, if I wanted to make it out alive I had to be as still as possible. And if he didn't give in and let me breathe? Well, at least I would never have to see his face again.

As I stopped moving- stopped squirming in an effort to save myself- I could feel his fingers loosening.

I sucked in a breath as soon as I was able, but it was small and certainly not enough.

"Did you miss me?" Josh hissed out into the dark, his mouth close to my ear.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath. That made my heart pound so hard I almost feared I was having a heart attack. But a hard slap to my face and the pain the that was emitting through my body because of it assured me that I was very much alive. At least for now.

"Answer me!" Josh barked.

"Yes. I missed you." I lied.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and onto the pillow beneath my head.

"Good girl, I knew you did." He purred.

His head dipped down and his lips touched the side of my throat. His affection was blasphemous, fueled only by vile lust and it make me sick to my stomach. I wanted to shove him away instantly and I wanted to scrub every part of my body, relieving my skin from his filth. From his disgusting intentions. But I would only make it harder on myself. I would only make this awful time last longer and I wasn't sure if I could bear another second of it.

Thankfully, he pulled away rather quickly to turn on the bedside lamp.

When the light illuminated the room and my eyes adjusted I gasped in horror.

Josh was wearing a white dress shirt that was tucked into designer slacks. His blue eyes were gleaming with a violent edge and his expression was absolutely terrifying. But not nearly as frightening as the crimson liquid that had stained the entire front of that perfect, white dress shirt.

I was screaming before I was awake.

I jerked upright in the little bed as the wails poured out of my mouth and tears streamed down my pale cheeks. I frantically reached for the switch on my lamp as I sucked in harsh rasping breaths. Severe white light filled the room, burning my sensitive eyes, but I still forced myself to look around, to survey my surroundings.

My small bed covered in quaint sheets. The bedside table with an old book and tube of lip chap on it. The small, antique dresser that had been filled with my clothes. My duffle bag and dirty clothes strewn across the floor.

I was alone in my room in the countryside of Paris, France.

I was safe.

And with that realization I began to sob.

My head fell into my hands with weakness and my shoulders shook. Tears immediately soaked my palms as I sucked in harsh breaths that made my chest quiver while my heart pounded. I hiccupped in air as the remnants of the dream swirled around in my head and the events that had followed. The things that that god awful man had actually put me through while he was drunk and his clothes were still coated in someone's blood. Just the reminder was enough to make me claw at my skin in an attempt to rid myself of the repulsive feeling that boiled under the surface.

"Camila?" Alistair whispered as the bedroom door creaked open. I heard his footsteps as he came towards me, but couldn't lift my head out of my hands. "Camila, what happened?"

I didn't respond- I couldn't through my tears- and after a few second I felt the edge of the bed dip under his weight.

Alistair murmured something to me that I couldn't quite here over my crying. Then his arms were carefully sliding around my waist with a hesitation I didn't think a federal agent was capable of. But with a certain amount of firmness he pulled me closer to his body, forcing my head to be lifted out of my hands and my eyes to meet his in the glowing light of the lamp.

I thought I would hate his touch. I thought I would lash out and dig my nails into his skin until he bled and scream until he moved away from me.

But when my eyes met his and I saw the softness and concern swimming in that vibrant green I couldn't stop myself from crumpling onto his chest. My arms were flung around his neck and I pressed my face against the bare skin of his shoulder as the tears began flooding out again. I leaned against him, uselessly weak.

"It's alright." He soothed. His hands ran down my back, rumpling the soft tee-shirt that I had on and I clung to him harder. "It was just a nightmare, chère."

"Alistair, I – he"

He quickly hushed me. One hand remained on my back, keeping me securely against him while the other progressed upward to my loose hair. Ever so gently his fingers raked through it as he continued to murmur reassuring things in my ear. But, even with his comforting words my fingers were still digging into the sensitive skin on his back and my breaths were sucked in with rough hiccups. The vision was still swimming in my mind. Too real to chase away with a gentle touch.

We stayed there, sitting quietly together, for a long time.

"You should try and get some sleep." Alistair said finally, easing himself away from me.

"I can't." I choked out, "Every time I shut my eyes I ... I see him."

"I understand." He whispered, tucking me back against him for a brief, but very tender hug. Then those attentive green eyes moved to my dresser and he gave me his best attempt at a smile, "How about we watch one of those movies?"

Two hours later I was curled up in the living room with a pile of blankets wrapped around me, keeping in a tight little cocoon. I had already watched one movie and was no closer to being able to doze off. A second cup of warm tea was steaming on the coffee table in front of me and Alistair had just had just put in another movie. He ran with the theme that I had selected earlier, the classic princess tale, and put in Snow White.

"You don't have to stay up with me." I whispered softly.

"I know, but I want to." Alistair replied as he seated himself beside me once more.

We sat quietly through the intro. Alistair was still only in his flannel pajama bottoms with a blanket pulled up to his waist and it was hard not to look at his bare skin. But every time I allowed myself a glimpse I would cringe when I thought about how I had cried on him. I was just a part of his work and I had thrown myself onto his shoulder as soon as he had offered. It made me feel weak and embarrassed.

Back in Canada I had been strong. I had faced the world alone, even with the reality of Josh looming overhead. But now I felt fragile and unbalanced and I was losing control over the gentle suppression I had over all the awful things that had happened to me because I had agreed to marry Josh. And just a couple hours ago I had been weeping relentlessly in front of a man who thought I was damaged.

I gave my head a gentle shake, reminding myself that now was not the time. After some much needed sleep I could review that had transpired in a civilized manner with clear thoughts and a good plan on how to move forward.

About fifteen minutes into Snow White my eyes drifted shut.

A flash of the red blood and the smell of alcohol wafted into my brain, jerking me. My eyes split open and my hand fell over my heart that bounded beneath the gentle touch.

"Hey, come on." Alistair whispered, obviously seeing my minor outburst.

A single strong arm was wrapped around my waist and he pulled gently until I was lying on my side. My head was cradled on his lap. And his gentle fingers traced soft lines in my hair. I laid still, loving the feeling of his tender affection and the security he offered, but still pensive about the words he had spoken previously.

"Go to sleep." He whispered softly, pulling my mind back to him. "I'll be right here when you wake up, ma chère."

I forcefully closed my eyes and allowed myself to rest for a couple more hours.

Alistair kept his promise. When I woke up due to the sunlight that was streaming in through the window he was still there. His thighs were still beneath my head, but I had somehow rolled so I was facing him and not the screen. His head was tipped back, his mouth open as he snored softly. One hand was still resting on my head and Snow White's sound track was playing on repeat. My lips were mere centimeters away from the bare skin of his navel. I stayed perfectly still, wondering how best to tackle the situation.

It took some crafty work, but I managed to get out of his hold and untangled myself from the hundreds of blankets that had been wrapped around me.

The first thing I did was take a hot shower in an effort to rid myself of the vile feelings that my dream had left me with. Then I brushed out my wet hair, scrubbed my teeth, and dried myself off with the towel. A nice pair of jeans and a warm sweatshirt and jacket seemed to be the best outfit for the day. I had too many feelings swarming within me to stay seated in a house all day. I needed fresh air and I needed to be surrounded by people who didn't know the horrible underlay of my life.

"Morning." Alistair yawned, unraveling himself from the couch when I walked back into the living room.

"Morning." I replied awkwardly.

While my eyes drifted over his very exposed navel and chest his attention was on my attire.

"Ready for a day in the city I see." He said with a soft laugh, "Do you mind if I come with you, there are a few things I would like to pick up."

I almost said no. I deeply needed some time alone. And I wasn't sure how to handle what had happened last night. Yes, I had flung myself at him. But he had also encouraged it.

Still, I didn't want to make things even more awkward by making a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be.

"Sure." I replied.

The city was packed again and I didn't really want to be there in the cold. But all of those people looked at me like I was a normal woman and it was better than being tucked away in that little villa with a man who made unwanted feelings swirl within me. The moment that Alistair said he needed to pop into some boring stores I told him I had my own shopping to do. We agreed we would meet back at the train station in two hours and I was thankful for the time apart.

I didn't really have anything I needed to buy for myself. I had quite the little stash of belongs now. A couple sweaters, two pairs of pants, and a cheap bra seemed to go quite far in this kind of weather and in our situation. But I was tired of doing laundry every other day and wearing the same clothing all the time. I had tried to be conscious about my spending- the money Sophie was sending us had to come from somewhere- but I couldn't really manage with what I had.

So I bought another package of socks, a more expensive bra that would support my breasts enough to alleviate the back pain that was caused by excessive walking, and a couple of tee shirts. I dug through piles and pile of thrift store clothing and was delighted when I also found a pair of jeans and some expensive work out leggings. I felt accomplished and excited that my hunt had revealed something worthy of purchasing while it also served its purpose of keeping me distracted.

But I almost groaned out loud when I saw a soft green shirt with name of the American band across the chest. The little cartoon RV on the front made the whole thing look boyish and retro and I couldn't help but picture how youthful, but light hearted Alistair would look in it. So, I ended up purchasing it as well. I was certain that it would be dumped in the closet with the stupid record, but I couldn't stop myself anyway.

By the end of the two hours I had three bags filled with my new belongings and a lot less emotional baggage trailing around me.

Alistair and I shared a quiet train ride home. We didn't bring up what had happened last night and when we got to our house I decided that I wouldn't give him a chance to speak about it. I just darted to the laundry room to wash my newest finds. When I reappeared a few minutes later Alistair was still in the living room.

"Pretty crazy in the city, hey?" He mused.

"Yeah, I have no idea why people would want to be here in the winter. I think the summer would be much better." I said.

"I think people come here because they think Christmas in Paris will be romantic." He stated, his back to me.

"Christmas?" I breathed back. I ran a tired hand over my face, "Christ, I've lost track of time. I didn't even realize that it was Christmas."

"It happens." Alistair replied as he took a step back. In front of him a strange zig-zag of green lights, small lines at the top and large lines at the bottom. It took me a while, but I eventually realized that he had made a little tree out of lights and tape. "Not very sophisticated, but it's the best I could do."

I gave him a small smile. "It's lovely, Alistair."

The next morning when I ambled into the kitchen Alistair was already hovering over a frying pan.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Alistair triumphantly flipped a pancake out of the pan and onto a neat stack on a plate. Once he dumped the pan in the sink he gathered up the two plates and nodded his head towards the living room.

If I hadn't been so touched I would've gasped in surprise. The little coffee table had syrups and containers of fruit on it and two steaming mugs. I didn't doubt that one of them was filled with steamed milk and the other was a rich, dark tea for Alistair.

It was so sweet and so heartfelt that I knew I had to do something in return. Luckily, I knew I had just the thing. I excused myself for a moment and darted to my bedroom where I found the freshly cleaned band tee shirt and the record. I grabbed them hesitantly, worried about what kind of message I was sending with this gesture. But it was Christmas and I couldn't resist.

I knew my whole face was red as I reappeared in the hallway; still Alistair just smiled at me from the couch, patting the empty spot next to him. His mouth was already full of pancakes and his plate was fully loaded.

"It's not much." I breathed, feeling so embarrassed and so ridiculous as I jutted the items towards him.

"You didn't have to get me anything at all." He countered.

"You didn't have to travel across the world with me. You didn't have to defend me to your parents and you didn't have to watch Disney movies with me until I fell asleep." I argued softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you more."

It felt very raw to say. When Alistair's gaze met my grey eyes I looked away, ashamed and flustered.

Alistair gingerly took the duo out of my hands. And the second he read the name on the tee shirt his green eyes little up with unconcealed joy. The expression was doubled when he saw the record beneath it.

He stood up almost instantly, moving more like an excited kid than an agent. He retrieved two wrapped packages from under the make-shift tree. A second later he was extending the wrapped gifts towards me.

"Now this isn't much." He said.

I tore back the wrapping paper as he sat back down beside me and gasped out loud. It was the book I had been reading when he had arrested me. The book I had loved since I was a teenager and would love until I was old and grey. And when I opened the cover I saw the picture of my family on the inside and my hand covered my mouth in surprise.

"Alistair." I breathed, stunned and touched.

"I got one of my guys to sweep the house after I..." he trailed off, trying to save the awkward ness by shifting gears. He urged excitedly. "Open the next one."

I eagerly tore open the second package and tears filled my eyes instantly as overwhelming emotions flooded my system. It was the poster that had advertised my gala for hearing impaired children. The gala that allowed me to dance the night away with a very handsome stranger. The frame that Josh or one of his goons had broken was gone. And in the place of the shattered glass and wrecked wood was a new, simple metal frame that represented the elegance of my event.

Filled with so much happiness and so much appreciation I threw my arms around a laughing Alistair. And, in a moment of uncontainable joy and wild appreciation, I pressed my mouth to his.

I felt him freeze for a moment. His mouth and body completely unresponsive to mine.

But then, soft his lips moved ever so slowly with mine and a hand pressed itself into my back, pulling me a little closer. My fingers touched the back of his neck, playing with the soft, dark hair. He tasted like mint and moved so well with me, it made me want more. I let out a little sigh of delight and his tongue swept into my mouth, taking the opportunity I had offered. It felt so good. He felt so good.

But when I reached up to touch his face I broke whatever spell I had cast on him.

He pulled back slowly, reeling away from my fingers. When I opened my eyes I saw the way his chest was rising and falling harshly and how his eyes were still shut. But it wasn't a look of pleasantness that coated his features. He looked torn and pensive.

"Alistair I –"

A loud knock on the front door cut me off.

Alistair was on his feet in a second. Whatever moment we had shared was gone, entirely. I was staring up at him in horror and he was looking down at me with a sternness I rarely saw.

Who could possibly be here on Christmas day?

"Alistair." I whispered, already terrified.

"Stay here." He ordered his voice firm and levelled.

I obeyed, staying on the couch, out of the line of vision from the front door as he went to open it. I don't know if I would've moved had my body been responsive. I just held my breath as I heard the door lock click, then the hinges groaning as it was opened.

My mind raced with thoughts of my parents, Josh, Alistair's parents, and even Smith.

"Jasper." Alistair said.

His voice was surprised, but didn't sound worried or threatened. He sounded relieved.

"Where the fuck is she?" A man hissed back in response.

****Well that was a super fun, wild ride, don't you think? Any thoughts or ideas about what is going to happen next?****