Chapter Eleven

First Day

Hindi natigil ang mga regalong padala sa akin galing sa iba't-ibang pamilya matapos ang party ko. Halos araw-araw ay naghahakot ng mga bulaklak sila Ate Nati para gawing dekorasyon sa bahay at ang iba naman ay dinadala sa kwarto ko.

Some were expensive gifts, jewelries, shoes, you name it, but what triggers my step mother and sisters was when I received a special package from the Lardizabal's. It was a special diamond collection that was custom made for me.

Halos madurog ang mga ngipin ni Fyrcelle nang si Isaac pa mismo ang magdala no'n sa bahay. Papa invited him for lunch and the topic was all about the collection.

"My mother also wanted Roshlin to be the face of our new collection, Tito," namilog ang mga mata ko't bahagyang bumagal ang pagnguya dahil sa narinig.

My father was speechless at that, too. Alam kong natutuwa rin siya pero mas lamang ang gulat.

"Isadora told you that?"

Isaac nodded vehemently. "She actually sent me here to convince Roshlin," he said before he turned to me. "I'm sorry if I had to talk about it now. Alam kong tatanggihan mo kaagad kapag sinabi ko nang tayo lang dalawa, eh."

"Oh, Hijo! Talaga bang sinabi iyan ni Isadora? What happened with our brainstorming involving my daughters to be the new face of Lardizabal's Diamond?" Singit ni Tita Myrcelle, halatang pinipigil ang pagsabog ng galit at iritasyon sa lamesa.

"Isaac, you said Tita wanted us to do some projects for that?" Si Fyrcelle naman, dismayado na rin.

"Yeah, it's a different project. My brother saw Roshlin wearing his piece and he has a big upcoming collection. Gusto niyang si Roshlin ang maging mukha no'n."

"Oh that's great!" Papa blurted habang ako naman ay tulala pa rin.

"What do you say?"

"I-I don't know what to say. I haven't done any shoot or something that involves camera in a professional level."

Isaac smiled sweetly at me. "Don't worry. Marami ka pa namang oras na magdesisyon dahil sa pagtatapos pa iyon ng taon kaya take your time. Don't stress about it too much. Kapag hindi ka komportable, you can always say no. Ako nang bahalang magpaliwanag."

"But this is a one time opportunity, anak," singit ni Papa. "Lardizabal's were very picky about choosing people for their brand. They never pick someone base lang sa popularity. They choose people who could really represent their business. This is already an honor. I'm impressed."

Natahimik lalo ang tatlong babae sa naging daloy ng usapan. Papa looked so proud of me. Si Isaac naman ay ayaw akong pilitin pero dama ko rin ang kasiyahan niya at kagustuhang mapapayag ako.

It was too much to take it all in. And I felt like opportunities like this will be the reason why Papa's family would hate me more. As much as I wanted it dahil hindi naman ako ipokritong tao, parang hindi ko pa rin kayang isipin na wala ka namang ginagawa at hindi mo naman hiniling ang lahat ng mga biyayang dumarating sa 'yo pero hindi mo rin kayang kontrolin ang inggit ng mga tao.

I felt like this would be my life now. Na kahit anong gawin ko, people would always see me as their enemy. And it sucks because all I wanted in the first place was to be with my father.

"Where's Lola? Bakit hindi mo man lang siya ni minsan dinala rito?" Tanong ko kay Isaac isang araw nang bumisita ulit siya.

Saktong nasa galaan pa sila Essa kasama ang mga kaibigan kaya nagkaroon kami ng pagkakataong makapag-usap.

"Ayaw ni Tita Myrcelle. Sila Essa rin ay allergic sa pets kaya hindi siya pwede rito."

Nalungkot ako bigla. Kung gano'n ang siste, kahit pala balakin kong mag-alaga ay hindi rin pupwede. That would create another war.

"You're a dog lover. What breed do you love most?"

His question put a smile on my face. "I had a chocolate labrador once and a golden retriever. Kahit ano naman, but my dream dog is a large size labradoodle."

"A combination of the two smartest dog breed. Nice."

Napatango-tango ako. "How about you? And how many dogs do you have aside from Lola?"

"I have five. Two from Lola's litter and two different breeds. A rotty and a Doberman. Lahat dream dog ko."

I was amazed and excited to know Issac's love for dogs. Our conversation went on and on. Ipinangako niya pang ipakikilala niya ako sa mga ito. Doon umikot ang usapan namin hanggang sa makauwi ang magkapatid.

Since the fight, umiwas na ako sa kanila. Good thing Papa allowed me to have the only bedroom on the other side of the second floor, malayo iyon sa kwarto nila ni Tita Myrcelle at sa mga anak nito.

Since it was decided that I will stay and study here, pinalipat na rin ako ng kwarto ni Papa. He wanted to renovate my new room based on what I like, but I told him that I was fine with it.

"Bakit? Naalala n'yo na naman si Mommy?" May pang-aasar kong tanong sa kanya nang bisitahin niya ako sa aking kwarto isang araw matapos kong mag-enroll kasama si Ate Nati sa Unibersidad de Buenavista.

Ayaw sana ni Papa dahil ang gusto niya ay magkakasama kami nila Fyrcelle sa St. Catherine Laboure, ang nag-iisang pribado at mamahaling university sa lugar pero ipinagpilitan kong okay na ako sa UDB.

Papa agreed with me that I would learn more from that school because he and my mother graduated from there. Gusto ko dahil bukod sa mura at posible pang makakuha ako ng scholarship para hindi masyadong maging pabigat, malaki rin ang potential na mas matuto ako dahil sa dekalidad na pagtuturo sa nasabing paaralan. I did my research and most of the board passers were from UDB. No wonder why people from different towns came here to study.

Papa nodded at me. Lumapit siya sa akin at matamang sinipat ang kabuuan ko. Hindi nakaligtas sa aking paningin ang pangingislap ng kanyang mga mata nang haplusin niya ang aking nakalugay na buhok.

"Para sa akin ay kamukha mo ang Mommy mo. You got almost everything from her and I thank God for that."

"Papa, you are not that bad. Kalahati ko ay ikaw. For sure there are a lot of qualities that I got from you, too. Parehas akong maswerte sa inyo ni Mommy."

Sinang-ayunan niya ako bago siya naupo sa isang silyang naroon. Naupo naman ako sa harapan ng aking vanity mirror.

"Sigurado ka na ba sa kursong kukunin mo? Did you ask your mother about it?"

Tumango ako kaagad. "Are you disappointed that I chose culinary instead following your footsteps of becoming an engineer?"

Papa's lips formed a thin line as he shook his head. "I don't want you to follow anyone steps, anak. I want you to create your own. Ngayon pa lang, kahit anong mangyari ay susuportahan kita. I will always be proud of you no matter what you will become."

"What if I don't become someone else in the future?"

"Then at least just be yourself. Wala ng mas hihigit pa sa buhay na ito kung hindi ang mahanap mo ang totoong sarili mo. If you finally find who you truly are, joy, contentment and acceptance will follow you. Lahat ng magagandang biyaya sa buhay ay kusang darating sa 'yo at iyon ang importante."

His words were pinned in my heart. Papa was a genius and he always makes sense. Hindi na nakapagtataka kung marami ang nagkandarapa sa kanya noon.

My mother was a lucky girl for having him as a husband. Kung ano man ang nangyaring mali sa relasyon nila ay parang hindi ko na dapat pang malaman.

I was grateful for my father for accepting me after years of being apart. Kahit na patay na ako sa pagkakaalam niya ay tinanggap niya pa rin ako ng buong buo at hindi siya nagduda.

Simula ng makapasa ako sa UDB ay bumalik na sa utak ko ang lahat ng mga dapat kong gawin sa buhay. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wouldn't fuck it up. That being said, I avoided Nicolaus and his cousins.

Minabuti kong lumayo at manahimik dahil pakiramdam ko ay kapag napalapit ako lalo sa kanya ay madi-disappoint ko si Papa.

Sa pagpunta ko rito ay marami akong isinet na goals sa buhay at ang pakikipagrelasyon ay wala roon. I promised myself that I will never have a relationship until I graduated and became successful. Ipinangako ko rin sa sarili ko na ang taong mamahalin ko ay successful na rin gaya ko. Ngayong alam ko ang estado ng buhay ni Papa at ang reputasyon niya ay mas dapat ko lang iyong panindigan.

There were a lot of new rules set by Tita Myrcelle. Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos ay walang palya ito sa pagpapaalala sa akin sa mga patakaran niyang tingin ko'y mas mahigpit para sa akin kumpara sa kanyang mga anak.

"You have to be at home before eight in the evening, nine at most. You will never entertain someone who will cause trouble for this family. Marami kang makakasalamuhang mahihirap sa paaralang iyan kaya mag-isip ka sa bawat galaw mo. Don't let yourself adapt to how they live their lives. You are an Almanzerano and we expect you to act like one. Huwag kang gagawa ng ikasisira ng pamilyang ito at lalo ng pangalan ng ama mo, do you understand?"

I got bored by her litany, but I still agreed to her terms. Alam kong mainit ang dugo niya sa akin at hindi na iyon huhupa pero ayaw ko nang makipagtalo pa. Mas importante and edukasyon ko kaysa sa pakikipagtalo sa mga ito kaya doon ako mag-fo-focus.

Nicolaus and his cousins did not stop texting me. Isang linggo bago ang pasukan ay nakaya ko pa rin silang tiisin. I badly wanted to hang out with them, but space is all I need to guard my heart.

I like Nicolaus. I adore him for making me happy and appreciated, but I wasn't quite sure about the path that he wanted us to take. He was a playboy. Kahit na paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili kong mabuti siyang tao ay tama siya, hindi pa rin ako dapat magtiwala sa mga taong bagong kakikilala ko lang.

Good thing Isaac and his friends let me hang out with them. Wala nang nagawa si Essa at Fyrcelle dahil gaya ng sabi ni Papa, ayaw na niyang mabalitaang mag away-away pa kami.

"Sayang naman, Rosh! Bakit hindi ka na lang rin sa SCL pumasok? We love having you around. Mas fun sa university namin and besides, we are already your friends. Sa UDB, wala ka pang kaibigan." Si Saphia na hindi na nakatiis nang sabihin ko ang balita.

"Okay lang 'yon. It's nice to hang out with you, but it's already decided."

"You said you have friends here, right? Naalala kong nabanggit mo noon?" Si Lucille naman.

I sipped on my juice to avoid their questions, but I was surprised to hear Rosalie joined our conversation.

"The guy with the long hair, Rosh! Oh my Gosh I almost forgot about that! She's friends with them, Essa!"

Nalukot ang noo ko't bahagyang kinabahan lalo na nang hilahin ng babae si Essa palapit sa amin nina Lucille. Isaac and the rest followed them.

"Do you remember that amazing dance group who performed and won last fiesta? Iyong may mga members na gwapo?! I saw Roshlin with one of them!"

Essa's eyes darted on me. Napatuwid ako ng upo lalo na't kahit walang nagtanong ay nagpatuloy si Rosalie sa pagkukwento.

"Nakita ko sila noong gabi ng party ni Roshlin na sabay pumasok pabalik sa hall after the fireworks display! You knew them Rosh, right? Sila ba ang friends mo?"

"You're friends with the locals here? How?" Nakahalukipkip na tanong ni Essa.

Fyrcelle and everyone was curious about my answer. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi ang sumagot.

"Nakilala ko sila noong araw na makarating ako rito. They had some dance off at the parkour."

"That's the day we met, too, right?" Manghang singit na rin ni Isaac.

"You two met there?!" Fyrcelle blurted.

"Yeah. Naalala ko na."

Mas lalong naintriga ang mga babae. "So you knew them? Sila ang friends mo?!"

Lito pa rin akong tumango kahit na hindi na ako sigurado sa bagay na iyon. The girls became more interested of me because of that. Doon umikot ang usapan namin hanggang sa makauwi kami sa bahay.

I was tempted to text Nicolaus the night before the first day of school. Simula nang hindi ko na siya kausapin ay nag-lie low na rin ito sa pangungulit.

Naintindihan ko naman and I like that he gave me space, too, lalo na't ang alam naman niya ay bakasyon lang ako rito at hindi magtatagal, but I felt like my soul left me when he was the one I saw after being dropped off of the campus.

Kapapasok ko pa lang sa gate ng Unibersidad de Buenavista ay siya na kaagad ang nahagip ng mga mata ko!

My heart pumped so hard in my chest! Agad sumilay ang mga ngiti sa labi ko dahil sa excitement, pero bago pa ako makagalaw para malapitan siya at mabati ay naunahan na ako ng isang babae.

My heart thud when the girl joyfully run towards him. Malawak ang ngiti nito na parang biglang lumiwanag at gumaan ang kanyang mundo dahil sa lalaki, pero tuluyan na yatang nahinto ang pagtibok ng puso ko nang malugod siyang salubungin ni Nicolaus ng yakap... at agad na siniil ng marubdob na halik sa mga labi.

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