Proverbs 14:30
"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body, jealousy is like cancer in the bones."Good evening or morning lovely strangers; I bet you all are looking great and ready to take on the world;) You are awesome!Now, the reason for this scripture...well to be perfectly honest I think we can all relate to something like jealousy. Now, don't run away so soon my lovely, this isn't to call people out or to act high and mighty because I need to be honest, this message is for me. This scripture applies to me every. single. day. Seriously._.Now, I have a lot to be thankful for: I'm alive, I have the freedom to love God publicly without someone throwing me in jail or beating me for it. I have a home and luxuries compared to people in other countries. God has given me talents and gifts only I can do and placed me in a family that supports me, challenges me, and pretty much loves on me. So...I have SO MUCH to be thankful for but lately...I still struggle with jealousy and it is like cancer to my bones. How so?
Glad you asked.My biological mom died of cancer when I was only five years old. She had a brain tumor that grew to the point that her brain was hard as a rock. The sickness took a toll on her body; she would have seizures out of no where so sometimes she couldn't take care of me (which meant that my sister had to take care of me T_T) The cancer ate at her brain, turned all her healthy tissue into something dead and life consuming. Jealousy is the same way. I am not expert by any means but I do know that personally for me, when I am jealous, it's super hard for me to just be happy. I constantly find myself looking around and comparing myself with other people in my church, in my school, and also in my family. I start longing to be like others, be normal and less random...less socially awkward...and less plain and failing and just falling behind on life it seems. Sometimes it feels like if anyone was going to be kicked out of the race, it would be me because when I look around, everyone seems to be ahead of me on so many levels. I'm the weakling in the pack. Get yourself out of the gutter Candy!Jealousy causes self loathing and hatred and soon that grows out and next thing I know, I'm displeased by everyone around me. I love the people God put in my life. They are a huge blessing and I want the best for them. I want them to be happy and living life to the fullest but when I get jealous...I still want them to be happy and healthy but I can't bring myself to cheer them on because of jealousy and envy. I start to throw a huge pity party for myself!My joy gets taken from me and I grow hard like a rock and resentful...it's a consuming thing...like cancer.However, God says differently than how I see myself and even how you might see yourself as well. Throughout the bible, God said that He made us special and wonderfully; He gave us talents and gifts in His Holy Spirit;He calls us to be different from the world (Which is why I am me and you are you.) He loves us and promises to help us. He'll never let you go because nothing can separate us from His love. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives. He gave us a dream and a calling. He tells me constantly, "Don't be afraid, I got this! Stop comparing yourself to others! I give you worth, I made you and picked out your name! I love you so stop self-loathing. I make beauty out of the ashes and diamonds out of rocks - pearls are hidden in clams. These are hidden gems like you! Look to ME for your worth and confidence, be bold! Be courageous like I made you to be. Love me and others. I made the mountains and the seas. Every detail you see, whether you comprehend it or not, I designed it all. You are not worthless because you are part of my precious possession. I cherish you and I will make a masterpiece out of you for my glory. I love you." God,Father in Heaven, I acknowledge that you make beauty come out of ashes and you make masterpieces out of broken people like myself. God, I confess that I get jealous easily of people and lots of time, I fall into self pity. You said You love me and You proved that by sending Your Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins. God, thank you for Your overflowing love and grace in my life and God, please...even if one person sees this and feels blessed, then let it be so. God, please use this to open the eyes of somebody who is caught up in the cancerous sickness known as jealousy and God, I pray that this simple writing will open the hearts of someone today. In Jesus Christ mightiest name, I pray, amen and amen.