I knew he always existed, that he was there but I never acknowledged him and when I did last year...that was a whole game changer. My eyes were open and I knew...I wanted to follow him. Things happened and I've been just so bipolar but I still want to follow You Jesus. 

It's so funny.

I was just talking to you and opening up and admitting what I feared to say out loud. I told my parents, I told you but not words to word and then when I logged on, I was hoping to continue my story WYTBOF but instead right here I wanted to update this. I wanted a picture because I love pictures for my chapters and the one thing I find whole looking for something else was this picture above. 

This explains it perfectly.

Once I acknowledged You God, Jesus, Holy Spirit; my mind automatically began limiting You and Your awesomeness. Fears attack me and my mind went in all kind of circles but You luckily proved me so wrong but still I have trouble not limiting you. I think one thing then confused about another. I fail to see you are more than one thing and greater than what I think. You are GOD so for that there's should be no confusing or questions about you. My belief should not fail. I may never understand all the works or see your way in things but I should stop doubting because of it and trust YOU and continue to walk.

My mind is small.
You are HUGE.

I'm just a speck.
YOU ARE THE SKY.

I'm easily distracted.
YOU ARE ALWAYS KNOWING AND PAY ATTENTION TO EACH ONE OF US!

I'm selfish.
You SACRIFICE EVERYTHING.

I can't hold my temper.
YOU ARE SLOW TO ANGER.

I say I'm a failure.
YOU SAY I'M A TREASURE.

I see my ugliness.
You see my heart.

I worry.
You tell me trust.

I don't want to acknowledge my mistakes
YOU OPEN MY EYES AND SHOW ME.

I'm broken.
You FIX me.

I'm double minded
You NEVER LEAVE ME STILL.

I feel like giving up
YOU RESTORE MY HOPE TO CONTINUE ON.

I feel all alone.
You're always there holding my hand.

No matter how dark or far I get,
You still reach out and catch me.

God...I will never truly understand the love, the greatness, the everything about YOU but I will continue this walk. I want to get out of that mindset of limiting You and doubting and then going in a vicious cycle all over again. Teach me Lord. Teach me and open my heart.

I want to grow and trust completely.