Since the day we found out that I am pregnant have passed two weeks. Everything is back to normal. Simon is working most of the time and I am alone but I can do it. I was alone before we got together so I am used to it. I am dancing more and more. I work at the restaurant most of the time and Kaitlyn and I became best friends.

I miss Simon to be honest. I am just trying to tell myself I can deal with it but I can't... At the beginning of our realationship we spent every free minute together and now he comes when I am asleep and goes before I am awake. The last time I have seen him was four days ago and we are living in one house.

I don't know how much longer I can take this. Maybe we were too fast. I shouldn't have married him without really knowing him. What if we don't work together? I will be a single mother... I can't even take care of myself properly with the jobs I have. I could always ask Phil for help but he has his own problems...

I push the tought aside and continue reading my book. Suddenly the front door opens and Simon walks in. I smile at him. He kisses my cheek and walks past me without saying much. My smile fades again. Two weeks ago he would always take his time and talk with me. Now he just walks past me without a single word.

I walk after him and say, "Where have you been? I haven't seen you for four days..." He sighs and says, "I have been busy. BGT and a few other projects." I walk over to him and try to get him to look at me. "What are you doing?" I ask and he stops what he is doing. "Look I don't need to tell you everything I do. And now please leave me alone," he says and I swallow a few tears.

"If that's what you want..." I say and walk over to our closet and begin to pack my things. "Amanda what are you doing?" he asks and sighs. "You don't need to know everything I am doing," I copy him and throw more and more things into my bag.

"Amanda stop," he says and takes my arms. "Don't touch me!" I say through gritted teeth. "Amanda I am sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I am just overworked," he says and I roll my eyes. "I am going to a friend's house until you got your shit together and finally have some time to be with your wife again. I am not a toy Simon. I have feelings too. Don't you think I feel lonely if you leave me all alone and that the whole day? I can't take this anymore! I am going insane," I say and tears stream down my face.

"Please don't go..." he says with tears in his eyes. "Call me when you are back to your old self..." I say and take my bag and Theo. I walk out and see Kaitlyn's car driving up our driveway. We originally planed to spend a girls night at our house but now I am moving in with her.

I sit down in the driver's seat and Kaitlyn looks at me confused. "Just drive back to yours... I can move in with you for a few weeks, can't I?" I ask and she just nods. "Of course you can but what happened?" she asks and turns her car around, heading towards her home.

"I just fought with Simon. He has changed so much... I haven't seen him for days and then he just walks past me without saying a word. I can't continue like this Kait..." I say and more tears stream down my face. "I am so sorry Amanda!" she says.

Two weeks have passed. I ignored most of Simon's calls. I miss him so much but that's what we need... a break. We married way too fast. We shouldn't have done that. I would break up with him if I wasn't pregnant with his child...

I walk into the dance studio and into my room. I have no class to teach so I am just here to work on my own dances. I turn on the music and I just can't focus. I miss Simon just too much. I wish that he wouldn't have changed and nothing would have happened between us. That we would be still living happily together. Suddenly the door opens and I look at the one man I can't seem to stop thinking about.... Simon.

"I knew I would find you here..." he says and looks at me, sad. "You have been searching for me?" I ask, playing dumb. "Oh come on Amanda... I have called you at least ten times a day..." he says and a tear rolls down my face. "Maybe I don't want to be found then..." I say and he comes over to me.

"Amanda I am so sorry for what I did. I should have spent more time with you. I was a bad husband and father and I hope you can forgive me..." he says and I look at the ground. "You know Simon, I thought a lot... about us. Maybe we married too early... We should have waited a bit longer. I am not sure where this leads us to. I mean what will happen in five months? Will you leave me with a newborn baby alone? I love and miss you so much but I don't want to get hurt again..." I say and he has tears in his eyes by now.

"What are you trying to say?" he asks and I can tell he has a hard time keeping those tears in. "Maybe we should just have a little break. You live your life, I live mine. When you are ready for a family we can start all over again but for now I think it's better if we go back to just being friends..." I say and want to punch myself for saying that.

"Please don't Amanda... We can make things work! I promise!" he says and takes my hand. No Amanda... You promised yourself to not let him talk you into something you don't want to do. "Simon... We just take a break. I don't divorce you and I won't keep you out of my life and the life of your child..." I say and he is crying by now.

"If that's what you want... Call me if you need something," he says and I half smile at him. He disappears and I break down crying. The door opens again and a young man walks in. I have never seen him before. I quickly wipe my tears away and look at him. "Is everything alright? I am the new teacher and I heard crying coming from inside..." he says and smiles at me warmly.

"Yeah, everything alright..." I say and see he doesn't believe me. "Okay maybe nothing is right... I just kind of broke up with my husband who is also the dad of my unborn child and I still love him. Pretty messed up, isn't it?" I ask and laugh sadly. "Please don't cry... I hate seeing beautiful women cry. I am Evan by the way," he says and wipes away my tears. "I am Amanda..." I say and smile at him.

Three weeks have passed and Evan is such a sweetheart! He takes care of me and we started dancing together. I haven't seen Simon again. Not that he didn't try to talk to me but I am just not ready to let him back into my life.

I want him so bad but something inside of me fears that I'll end up like so many women, hurt and cheated on. I know Simon would never ever cheat but I just can't... I don't know why. I'll see him again today. We are going to find out the gender of our baby together.

I won't take this from him. We had the plan to let him find out what gender it is and then dye my hair in that colour and surprise me but that idea died with our realationship. Evan will come along just because I still don't have a car and Phil is way too busy with his girlfriend to drive me.

I moved back into my old apartment and I am so happy with it. Theo misses Simon as well but is glad to have Phil back. Evan picks me up and drives me to our doctor. I am four months pregnant with our child and Simon has missed one month of it. I can't give it back to him.

We walk in and see Simon waiting there. Evan looks at me and says, "I better get going before we start a fight..." I look at Simon and see what he means. "Yeah, see you later," I say and kiss his cheek before he leaves.

I walk over to Simon and sit down next to him. "Hello," I say and take a deep breath. "So you already have a boyfriend?" he asks and I can tell how jealous he is. "No, Evan is just a friend and my new dance partner. And besides that why do you even care?" I say and roll my eyes at him.

"We are still married," he says and I laugh. "And we would be still together if you had time for me when I needed you," I say and look at him angry. "I said I am sorry! What do you want me to do?" he says and I lose my temper.

"You said you are sorry? That won't do it Simon! I can't believe you!" I say and shake my head. I feel the baby kick and wince. I am still not used to having somebody move inside of me. "You know your momma is upset, don't you?" I say to my belly and move my hands over it.

"Did he kick you?" Simon asks and I smile at him. "Yeah, and what makes you think it's a boy?" I ask and he just laughs. "I just know it..." he says and I take his hand and move it onto my belly. He feels our baby kick and his eyes glow from happiness.

The nurse calls us in and we walk into the room. The doctor comes soon and asks me how I have been. "Just a bit nauseous and the baby has been kicking a lot lately," I say and smile at Simon. The doctor puts the cold gel onto my belly and I take Simon's hand.

He smiles at me surprised and we both look at the screen next to me. "Ahh I see. Well you are carrying a boy inside of you," the doctor sees and shows us the genitals. "I told you," Simon says and smiles from ear to ear. "I know..." I say and feel utterly happy.

The doctor wipes the gel off and makes a few tests before we can go home. We walk out of the building and Simon looks at me. "Do you have time for a coffee?" he asks and I think about it for a while.

I really missed him and his company so why the hell not? "Yeah, sure," I say and we both walk over to his car. We drive to a café in town and we get out of the car. "So how have you been?" I ask him and I can tell he'll lie to me.

"I have been fine," he says and I shake my head. "Don't lie to me Si. Your mom called me," I say and he rolls his eyes. "She can' t keep her mouth shut, can she?" he says and I laugh softly. "I am glad she told me you were miserable because you wouldn't!" I say.

"Why do you care so much?" he asks and I put my hand on top of his. "Simon we are married. Even though we aren't together at the moment doesn't mean I don't love you... I missed you so much and still miss you but we married too fast. We barely knew each other. I just need some time. I promise you we can make this work but we need to start somewhere at the beginning," I say and he nods his head. "So you still want me?" he asks and I smile.

"I will always want you. You are the father of my child but at the moment we are better off as friends..." I say and he smiles at me sadly. "I guess you are right. We still can see each other?" he asks and I nod my head.

"Of course! I want you to be a part of my life. I wouldn't want to make these steps alone!" I say and his eyes light up a bit. "So will you go and see my mom on Saturday with me? She always asks about you and she wants to see your belly," he says and I smile.

"You told her?" I ask and he nods. "Of course I'll come. She is his grandma..." I say and he smiles at me. "Thank you..." he says and I look at him confused. "For what?" I ask and he says, "For not shutting me out."

"That is not something you need to thank me for. I'll always be there for you and I'll never ever shut you out," I say and he smiles at me. "I gotta go. Theo waits for me..." I say and Simon smiles at me sadly.

I take the bus home and Theo runs me almost over. Since I got pregnant he is even more clingy. I don't hate it but I don't really like it either. "Yeah, your mommy is back!" I say and pet him before I walk in.

I turn on the coffee machine just to pur my coffee into the sink as soon as I taste it. Coffee is one of the things I can't stand anymore. I used to love coffee! I walk over to my tv and turn it on. I watch an episode of my favorite tv show and fall asleep on the couch.

The next morning I wake up and my back hurts. Why did I have to fall asleep on the couch? Every single bone in my body hurts as fuck. I arch my back and I hear a few weird noises before the pain slowly fades away. Theo lies next to me and looks at me sleepily as I get up.

"Finally! I thought sleeping beauty would never wake up!" Phil says and I jump. "Phil! Don't fucking scare me so early in the morning!" I say and he laughs. "Early in the morning? We have afternoon," he says and I look at the clock.

He is right... "Shit. How long did I sleep?" I ask rather myself than him." Long enough to miss five calls from Simon," he says and I look at my phone. "Shit," I say and call him back imediately. "Hello... Amanda?" he asks sad and I know something is wrong.

"What is wrong?" I ask and Simon begins to cry. "Could you please come?" he asks and I just say, "I'll be there in a few minutes." I put on some shoes, ignoring the fact that I am still in my too big sleep shirt and panties and say, "You need to drive me to Simon asap!"

"What is wrong?" he asks and I just say, "We don't have time for questions just hurry up!" We drive to his house as fast as possible and I run in. I find him on his couch and he looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"What is wrong?" I ask him and he just breaks down crying. I run over to him and hug him tight. "It's my mom..." he says and I know something really bad must have happened. "She was found dead in her kitchen this morning," he says and I pull him even closer.

"I am so sorry Simon... I know how much she meant to you," I say and a few tears stream down my face. I know how hard it is to lose parents... I really liked her and now she doesn't even have the chance to see her grandchild.

"I don't understand... Everything was fine yesterday and now... now she is dead," he says between sobs. "Calm down Simon... I know it seems unfair and you are confused but I promise you it'll get better with time," I say and he looks at me with red and puffy eyes, full of tears.

"Will you lay with me so it doesn't hurt as much?" he asks and I nod my head. We lay down and I pull him close to me. He places his head on my chest and I just brush my hand over his back. At the moment all he needs is somebody to lean on, somebody who is there for him and if I am that person than I'll be glad to do it.

After a while the tears stop and he seems to be asleep. I watch him closely for a while. God how much I missed this man! Why did I even leave? No, you won't give in. He is weak right now. You can feel sorry for him but don't go back to him! You know better than that!