Here is a songfic to Visions by The Maine because I was obsessed with The Maine when I wrote this literally mOnThS ago. They're an awesome band; if you don't know them, you should definitely check them out!

I pulled my covers over me so that I wasn't freezing cold. The warmth made me feel safe, even when I had bad thoughts running through my head, making me feel lost and dizzy. I shut my eyes, waiting for sleep to take over. It wasn't long before I was greeted with the dream world and the man I used to love.

Last night I saw you in a dream
I'm still not sure just what it means
Two nights before much of the same
I found you dancing on the back of my brain

Phil was standing opposite of me, staring straight into my eyes. Nothing had changed about him: he was still the adorable, handsome man that I fell in love with all those years ago. "Hi, Dan." He was smiling so I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hi." I mumbled. He reached out and grabbed my hand. It all felt so real; like I was actually standing with him. I found myself bringing a hand through his hair, remembering how soft it always used to be. I missed him so much.

"I love you."

I snapped my eyes open and was hit with the cruel reality that I was alone again.

Hallucinating things are fine in my head
Illuminating the right side of my bed

Phil was always there in my head; it was like he had never left. His voice would echo around my mind, urging me to never give up and to face the days that were coming my way. It was almost like he was still my boyfriend and he was here in every way but physically.

It was okay as long as I had imaginary Phil. He'd keep me going, for now at least.

And we kissed and we fought
I laughed and you screamed
Oh I've learned to loathe these
Goddamn visions
But I just can't wait to fall back to sleep

I had bad days. I'd lock myself in my room for hours, just crying into my knees. The day he left was on a continuous loop in my head and it made me feel... horrible.

I remembered kissing him so passionately and I remembered how his cold hands felt against my body. I remembered holding his hand as we walked around town together, not even needing to do anything as the company of each other was enough to keep us entertained. I missed having him with me physically.

I hated the fact that I'd see him in my dreams and hear him in my head but, for some obscure reason, I really wanted to go back to sleep. Just so I could see him one more time: I never wanted to let him go.

Oh I woke up and I felt let down
You tied up your silver hair and left this town
You're three hundred something miles away
I close my eyes and all I see is your face

Some of the dreams weren't very nice. Sometimes they took all the life out of me and made me wake up, my face wet with tears.

"I'm sorry, Dan." He said, throwing his backpack over his shoulders. I was sobbing as I saw the broken look on his face. "I'm moving closer to my parents... I'll miss you."

I reached out, desperately screaming as I tried to grab his arm to stop him from leaving. I ended up grabbing the air as he faded into nothing.

I woke up and I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed. Every time I blinked, I saw his face and it was sending me into a spiral of depression. I wasn't sure how much I could take.

I felt empty. I was nothing if I didn't have Phil. He had always given my life meaning and made it worthwhile.

Hallucinating things are fine in my head
Illuminating the right side of my bed

"Come on, Dan. You need to get out of bed and eat something." I shook my head so rapidly, trying to make Phil's voice go away.

"Leave me alone." I desperately whispered, my whole body shaking. I would never be able to move on if Phil was always there, haunting me inside my own head.

And we kissed and we fought
I laughed and you screamed
Oh I've learned to loathe these
Goddamn visions
But I just can't wait to fall back to sleep

Phil sat down on the edge of my bed, smiling very gently. "Let's go on holiday together. We both need to escape this world for a bit, you know, let our hair down a little." He said and I nodded ecstatically. If I pretended these dreams were real, I could feel happiness for a few moments until I was inevitably pulled out of my dream world. "I'm thinking France."

"That sounds great! We could go and see the Eiffel Tower and look around the markets in Paris. We could go to fancy restaurants, money not mattering at all." Tears welled up in my eyes. That was our dream holiday and we would have done absolutely anything to go. Sadly, Phil left before we could visit France at all.

I woke up and wiped away the tears. I got out of bed and finally ate something. I couldn't shut myself away for much longer or I would really damage myself. I may have not been happy but I didn't want to hurt myself.

Hallucinating

And we kissed and we fought
I laughed and you screamed
Oh I've learned to loathe these
Goddamn visions
But I just can't wait, I just can't wait
No I just can't wait, to fall back to sleep

I had actually left my house for the first time in at least a week (I was actually losing track of time). I just went to the supermarket, purchasing a bottle of milk because I was out. As I was paying, I saw a tall man talking to someone. He turned around and I dropped my card, my eyes widening. Phil.

I was staring so intently that I hadn't noticed the cashier repeating, "Sir," over and over again, her voice getting gradually more irritated. I muttered out a string of apologies before picking up my card and paying. I rushed out of the shop, my heart beating fast. Sure, I had imagined Phil in my head but I had never imagined him in real life. I was going insane.

Someone grabbed my arm before I could even get out of the car park. I turned and my breath hitched as I saw the man that I had been dreaming about. "Dan, do you want to get coffee? I need to talk to you about some stuff." I fiddled with the carrier bag I was holding and avoided his gaze.

"I need to get home and put this milk in the fridge. Maybe another time." I pulled away but he followed me, obviously determined to get a proper conversation out of me.

"We can talk at yours?"

"Fine." I sighed and he followed me back to my house.

-

"I'm sorry for leaving you. I swear, I have regretted every moment I spent away from you." Phil's eyes were shining, a sign he was on the verge of crying.

"You broke me." I simply said, trying my best not to give in so easily and get myself hurt even more.

"I know. I broke myself too. I've been thinking about you a lot. Sometimes I even dream about you and, when I do, I never ever wanted to wake up."

I bit my lip before admitting, "I've dreamt about you a lot too."

"I want to move back here. Turns out, moving closer to my parents was the worst idea ever. They're trying to control my life and get me to find a 'real job', whatever that means. I couldn't really do anything with them because I felt like a part of me was missing- you."

I furiously wiped all the tears away, not wanting to look too weak. "Where would you stay?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"I don't know. I really don't. I just want to see you again."

"Phil, I don't think-"

"Please forgive me. I want you back so bad." Phil reached out and took my hands into his own. They felt the same as they used to: cold and unusually smooth. I couldn't find the words I needed so I pulled him close and connected our lips. I pulled back and we hugged as we both cried.

-

I fell asleep that night and I was greeted with... nothing.

:)

I might give up on this book now and just set it as completed, even though I haven't uploaded all my draft one shots. Opinions?