This is very sad and about Dan experiencing a hard break up. I'm sorry it's so sad but like this is how I'm feeling ha

Dan had his back pressed against his bedroom door. He had his head in his hands as he endlessly sobbed. There was a marathon of thoughts running through his head, reminding him that he was pathetic, worthless, stupid and it was all his fault, he could have stopped this from happening, he should have tried harder.

His sobs echoed around the empty apartment where his boyfriend used to be. Images of Phil packing his bags and walking out were etched in his brain. Dan wished he could forget but it wasn't that easy. His throat was dry, his head was pounding and he was shaking terribly. He hadn't left this spot in... he couldn't even remember how long. His stomach growled, reminding him that he could feel things other than empty sadness. He stood up, hardly trusting his trembling legs to hold him up, and left his bedroom.

The atmosphere was horrible. Unspoken words that could have saved the relationship lingered in the air, making it hard for dan to breathe normally. He opened the fridge before shoving it shut and deciding to order a pizza instead. He put the number into his phone and, after a few rings, a man with a deep voice picked up. Dan said what he wanted and quickly hung up.

His heart was hurting. Honestly, if someone ripped it right out of his chest, it would heart much less. He wandered into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. The eyes he looked into were no longer his own: they belonged to a broken man, not giggly, happy Daniel Howell. He was a mess and even that was an understatement.

He was wearing pyjamas bottoms and one of Phil's old hoodies and he hadn't changed in a number of days. There were thick, purple lines under his dead eyes and his face was paper than any ghost.

What was the point anymore? His life had lost all of its purpose. Would anyone ever love him again; would he end up alone? What would he do with all the things Phil gave him? He couldn't get rid of them: they were too important to him... Would he ever get over Phil and move on?

The doorbell rang and pulled Dan away from his drowning thoughts. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were burning with more tears. He walked to the front door, grabbing a ten pound note off the side on the way. He paid the pizza guy, allowing him to keep the change. He sat down on the sofa, opening the pizza box as his stomach growled hungrily at him.

He took a big bite out of the cheese pizza, chewing it for a few seconds before swallowing. He devoured the rest of it in record timing, the fact that he hadn't eaten in a while hitting him all at once.

He sat there, the pizza box on his lap, as he stared at the blank TV screen. All of the memories of watching movies, anime and other things with Phil flashed through his head, making him tense up. Then he just felt numb.

He missed having someone to cuddle, talk to and just having company throughout the day. He missed giggling at nothing, singing to stupid songs and making silly puns.

He missed Phil.

Dan barely even blinked. His eyes were red and dry from crying so much but dan could hardly feel the sting. Dan lazily pushed the pizza box on the floor, laying down and staring at the white ceiling. His body was aching: he was so exhausted but, still, he couldn't get to sleep.

How was it that one could feel so tired but not be able to sleep?

He was so drained... emotionally, mentally and physically... He closed his eyes tightly, just hoping, wishing, praying the thoughts would go away. After a long hour, he drifted into the dream world. He still woke up every few hours, the ache of his heart never once filling.

It was hard. When every little thing reminded him of Phil. Nothing in the apartment belonged to just him: it was Phil's too. It was all Phil's.

The pain felt like it would never end. Dan just wanted it all to go away.

Do any of you want a hug? I'll give out free hugs because if I can't make myself happy I want to try my best to make some of your days even a little bit better

*hugs everyone who wants a hug*