GUESS WHO WROTE A ONE SHOT FINALLY

IT IS A SONG FIC TO A SONG CALLED CIRCLES BY THE EDEN PROJECT. My sister loves The Eden Project so like I have been forced to listen to them a lot but they're alright. I thought this song would make a decent song fic.

TW: Angst (implied abuse, I think)

"I can't do this anymore. I swear, I'm done." Dan muttered, dramatically shaking his head and walking away.

"Dan, no, please! Stop! I'm sorry!" Phil yelled, his voice shaking as if he was having an internal earthquake.

"Cut it. I'm not accepting your ridiculous apologies."

"Dan, I-"

Phil was cut off by the sound of his bedroom door slamming and it seemed to echo around the empty house. He was suddenly at a loss for words, his eyes filling with wet tears.

And if I told you how this story ends
Would you change a step you take?

Was it really over? Phil didn't want to believe it. He pulled his knees closer to his chest and buried his head into them. Surely, the story wouldn't end here..? They needed to get married, adopt a kid, get a dog..

And if I could relive all of my days
I'd live them all the same
'Cause I'm scared
Of all that I don't know
'Cause I want it all, but all of it ain't gold

If he did things differently, would it still turn out like this? He needed Dan in his life. He needed all the moments they shared. He needed all of their arguments too though as they helped them become a better, stronger couple.

He wanted someone to hug him and look after him, as a good boyfriend should. But Dan wasn't a good boyfriend.

But, then again, you can't have everything you want without bad things, right?

And I'm scared
But I know it's not for long
'Cause I'm learning what I should've long before

There were good times. When Dan would make Phil laugh until he couldn't breathe and vice versa. They'd mess around and play video games and just have fun. It was great.

But then there were bad times. Very. Bad. Times.

Phil was scared. He knew them breaking up was the right thing. But he was scared of what else was to come in the future because, in all honesty, he didn't know what was going to happen to him.

That all we are
Is a light into the darkness
And all we are
Is time that's counting down
And all we are
Is falling through the spaces in between
Endless flight
A lifetime in repeat

Dan was Phil's hope. He was helping him get through the days and, without him, he was nothing.

From the very beginning, they weren't meant to last. They were a bomb that was ticking down to detonation as each day passed. It slowly got worse and they yelled more and more.

They had broken up multiple times but they just kept getting back together. Despite the screaming and crying, they always got back together. It was one big circle and it wasn't good. It was slowly tearing them both apart.

It was unhealthy, it really was. They weren't happy. Maybe it was for the best.

Phil had become depressed as Dan had become more controlling. He tried to run away but they always ended up back together. Phil's life was on repeat and he couldn't escape it.

He prayed that this was the last argument they'd ever have and that he was free from all the pain and manipulation.

But I still find solace
When you say
That you know how I feel
When it's wrong
And we ain't been alright for years

Phil was losing it. He was locked inside his room, his knees pulled against his chest as his countenance represented a feeling of numbness. No one had any idea how lost he felt. He was on his own and he had been ever since they started to argue.

Dan wasn't there for him. He hadn't been for a long time.

Let go, give these ghosts a new home;
Let's bury our past and our fears and all these bones.
Let's go, I should've seen it long before;
'cause this is my life
I will not run in circles
Ending where I start.

They had given up and finally let go. Phil both felt free but at the same time on his own. He was no longer afraid of the past but now there was the future to think about. He should have ran away a long time ago: the weight on his shoulders had been lifted and now he could breathe.

He had escaped from the big circle that his and Dan's relationship. He refused to ever go back to that routine.

So hold on to me,
We'll burn out slowly.
And feel our hearts leap
To words we don't mean

Phil closed his eyes, burying his head into his knees. He felt like he had someone's arms wrapped around him, holding him as he finally let go.

He knew all the "I love you"s meant nothing but he couldn't help but imagine Dan by his side, holding onto him as their relationship burnt out, like a dying match.

Love.
Means nothing to me,
'cause I don't know what it is.
I'm just dying to be
All that I've been dreaming of.
And words betray me,
Contradict all I stand for;
But I'm still learning.
Yeah I'm still learning.

Phil didn't know what love was anymore. He thought he understood it but he didn't. He imagined happiness and cuddles and laughs and jokes. What he got from Dan was sadness and rejection and crying and insults.

The words Dan would say such as "I love you" and "you mean the world to me" contradicted his actions. All he did was push Phil around like he was nothing but a toy, something inanimate and emotionless.

But Phil was learning.

Phil clenched a fist at his side because that was right: he was learning. He knew that what Dan did was wrong and that their relationship was unhealthy. He knew he needed to forget about him and become his old self again. He knew he needed to smile and be optimistic.

Although Dan had ruined him, he could pull himself back up onto his feet. He could take off running into his new world where he was free. He could do anything he wanted without anyone holding him back.

Not everything that came out of this hell was bad, was it?

That all we are,
Is a light into the darkness.
And oh we are,
Just time that's counting down.
And all we are,
Is falling through the spaces in between;
Endless flight,

The bomb of his and Dan's relationship had detonated, leaving nothing but tiny pieces of rubble, full of hope.

All Phil needed was to pick up the rubble and build something better.

He could do that. He may not be a builder but he could definitely be an optimist. He also had people around him who could help him build something great out of his life so he could finally be happy.

Without the weight on his shoulders, he could become stronger than ever before and more intelligent. He could now face anything.

We're falling to our knees.

He could do this. Even if he was broken inside.

I actually quite like this

How is everyone?

I'm sick hahaha nice. But I'm off school for a week because of half term so I don't have to worry about my anxiety for a week which is gooooood