My name is Christian, and this is my unusual journey as Christina. No, no, I’m not gay, or a cross dresser or anything like that. I don’t know kung maniniwala kayo, but I was cursed, once. From a cool, popular and a headturner guy, I became a maiden. All because of that wretched shirt that turns into a night dress which was cursed. No, I’m not insane. Well, just hear my story. I was a Damsel in Distress, A Damsel In This Dress.

I was pretty popular in College. I had the coolest barkada, I’m in a varsity team, and I’m somewhere in-between when it comes to brains. Not too smart, not too dull, ika nga. Just average. And the best of my college life, chicks dig me. I dunno if they’re after for my pretty face, or my physique. I have been a victim of love, once. Ginawa lang akong pang-display ng girl. Kaya, I’m fighting back. I became a womanizer.

“Bukas ulit, Dong!”

Sabi ng mga barkada ko nang pababa na ako sa SUV. I waved back, as they drove away. We had a few shots (well, not few, really…) and got home drunk. A woman was standing outside our gate, she was damn pretty and hot. Her curves are perfect as she she crossed her arms as if she’s pretty mad. And that’s when I realized, it was my girlfriend.

“I need to talk to you.” She said in a serious tone. “Who the heck is Patricia?”

Oops. Girlfriend number 1 found out about girlfriend number 2. The next thing I remembered was her blabbing. Ang laki pala ng bunganga ng babaeng ito. Putak ng putak. Word after word, cursed me plenty of times. Siyempre, di ko na inintindi yung mga sinasabi niya. My head was spinning dahil sa kalasingan ko. I want to get inside pero sinasampal pa ako nitong babaeng ito. I had enough.

“Look, Andrea! I’m sorry, okay!” I blurted out.

“My name is not Andrea!” she slapped me so hard I almost lost gait. “It’s Ursula!”

“Uhhhhh… The Octopus Sea Witch in The Little Mermaid?” Wait, I’m confused. I had a girlfriend named Ursula?

“Arrgghhh!!!”

And the world fades out. I woke up in our living room, slouched in our couch, with a painful bruise on my face.

“Karma mo na ‘yan, Dong.” My sister, Neah, came in with an ice pack.

“Don’t you start on me.” I murmured.

“When will you gonna stop? Soon, Melissa will find out about Patricia, and those three other girls!”

“Four.”

“Three. Sinapak ka na ni Ursula, do you think kayo pa?” she added with her left eyebrow raised.

“Okay, three.”

Neah is a full time nurse in our City Hospital. My parents are already in the Big Apple, working as nurses as well. They took up nursing nung na-uso pa ang nursing and left their profession as dentists. Parang tanga lang noh. Buti nalang di ako pumayag na mag nursing ako. They wanted to, but I won’t. I love basketball so much, and I would love to be in the PBA Team.

With the absence of my parents, my Ate Neah became my guardian, and she’s the best Ate in the whole wide world! (Naks, parang bata lang.) Kaya nga lang, she’ll scold me for a lot of things. And me, being a womanizer, is on top of it.

“Since alam na ni Ursula about Patricia, I think you’ll gonna be loveless na in a few days time.”

She was so right. Patricia, Leila, Reana, and Voila (What kind of a name is Voila? Dang, I should’ve sent her to Splitsville in the first place) already knew about me and my other affairs, so naturally, they broke up with me. And I handle them with this dialogue:

“Hiwalay na tayo? O sige.” Sabay grab ng kamay niya, as if we’re shaking hands. “Nice meeting you.” And walk out while whistling like nothing happened.

I’m not making it dramatic, but I’m making it an epic slap on their face. Haha! I love being me. I should write a story, oh wait, I already am.

One night, nagkayayaan ang barkada sa tambayan namin. Alchology is the best place to be! Loud thumping music, VIP pass, and of course, gorgeous babes!

“So, now you’re left with nothing na, Pare.” Alcoy, the youngest in the group, said as he took a gulp of his cold beer.

“Ako? Left with nothing? Of course not.” I answered him back. “Melissa is still clinging, Pare. She was even crying, and begging. You know, girls would do anything for me.”

“Haha! Now that’s the Christian we knew!” Brian, our team captain, exhaled. “Patricia, and Reana are crying hard so much…becos of the broke up!”

Yeah. Brian’s grammar’s full of crap. He’s not much of a brainer. Bobo, ika nga. But in our Basketball Leagues, he becomes a genius.

“I was asked my gurlfren about Reana and her is reaction…and he…she…Di pa daw sila makapag-move on, dude!” Brian added, at muntik na akong matawa while drinking. Damn, Brian!

“Wait till 2 more days, and they’ll text me back. Of course they want more of me!” I said.

“So, I assume kailangan mo na ng replacement for four more sluts…I mean, slots?” Rico, our Power Forward of the team, asked.

“Hell, yeah!” I finished my shot, and then faced the dance floor. “Let the hunting begin!”

I spotted some chick, not too distant from me, na mukhang may Chinese blood, staring at me. Heck yeah, she was hot. She smiled; she winked, drank her shot of tequila, and left her friends in their balcony. I can hardly see who she was with, since the club was so dark, and the club lights are swirling on to the dance floor like crazy.

Habang papalapit na siya sa akin, she winked once again, and I felt a spark. We connected, and we became a couple in the dance floor.

“My name’s Delight. And who am I dancing with, tonight?”

“It’s Christian, and I am delighted to meet you!” I smiled. “Pun intended, obviously.”

“Nice.” She smiled.

I stared at her, and surprisingly her eyes seem deep, shallow, it’s like her eyes doesn’t have soul. I stayed close, closer. I could feel hear breathe. I could smell her breath. Smells like strawberries. I like strawberries. And then we kissed.

I went back to my friends moments later.

“Dude, you were there for an hour na! Kumusta ang sales pitch?” Alcoy said.

“Huh? An hour na bay un? Wooh! Time flies when you’re having fun, talaga! Haha!” I answered. “Of course, it’s a sale!”

Sabay high five with him.

“Iba ka talga, Dong! Nakaka-jackpot ka palagi, kami wala eh.” River, our Small Forward, said, in an distasteful tone. Older sister niya ang ex ko, si Donita, way before Melissa.

I answered him with a smile. Mahirap na, baka magkagulo pa. I went back to the dance floor as the DJ played Justin Timberlake’s track, “Suit & Tie.” I danced my way back into the center of the dance floor while staring at Delight. She stood up once again, and joined me in the center of the dance floor.

3:30 AM strikes. I felt really dizzy now, and I would want to go home. As I was about to kiss Delight goodnight, she spilled something on my shirt. I was too dizzy to check what spilled on to me. Dang! I can’t go home with a stain on my shirt! I’m pretty obsessive compulsive when it comes to hygiene.

“I’ll change your shirt nalang. I have a ride. You can stay at my pad.” She whispered, with a naughty stare in her blank, soul less eyes. Now, what’s with her blank eyes? Seriously?

I bid goodbye to my friends and went with Delight. I was half asleep on our way to her pad, and once we got there, the real magic happens.

She ripped off my stained shirt, as she licked my nipples. I cupped her face, and started kissing her, but damn! Mas wild si Delight! Sa lahat ng mga girlfriends ko, Delight out-performed them all. She went on top of me habang naglalaplapan ang mga labi namin. She took off her blouse and I unhooked her bra. I grasped her firm breasts as I kissed her on her neck. She was moaning on my every grasp. I have never been this wild. She pinned me to her bed, na para bang ako ang magagahasa. She licked my earlobes then went lower as she kissed my neck. I felt her tongue as she kissed my right nipple. She played with it while stroking my abs.

Her fingers went lower as she unbuttoned my jeans, inserted her four fingers in to my boxers, and played with my thing, while she was licking both of my nips, alternately. She went lower, kissed my abs. It was tingling. She kissed my navel, my lower abdomen, and felt more tingling sensation, and then, she blew me hard. She sucked it so hard like it would be her last lollipop in her whole life.

I could feel her tongue slithering on its head while it’s inside her mouth. This girl’s purely wild! She’s a monster! I grabbed her hair, and mouth fvcked her. I can hear her gag, like grasping for air. I can hear her moaning. I feel like she wants to let go but her mouth’s still slithering on its head, and I like it very much. I jerked once more, and it felt warmer.

I had to fill her in. I let go of her hair, I cupped her face once again, and kissed her strawberry breath. It was my turn to pin her down. I lay her on the bed; I caressed her soft, tender breasts, as I kiss her neck. I played her nipples with my two fingers, as I continued to kiss her. I went lower and lower and lower and reached to her breasts. I licked her nips, alternately, played the other one while I sucked the other, while I moved my body and let my wand feel her crack. It was triple pleasure for her. I couldn’t hold on much longer, and so was her.

I went lower this time. Way, way, way lower habang hinahalikan ang kanyang katawan. From her abdomen to her navel to her lower abdomen, to her pubes that smells like roses. Bulbol pa lang, amoy rosas na! My lips found her chamber of secrets. I licked her for the first time, and she moaned. The second time and she moaned harder. I played with her, and had fun, the same way she had fun with my wand.

I positioned her, found my lips back to her real lips, and kissed once more. I aimed it at her entry; I stroke the entrance with my head’s while we were kissing. We kissed wildly once more, and then I slowly went in, and did her.

How many times we did it, I couldn’t recall. We lasted for how many hours? That I could not recall. But what I remember, was I was effin’ tired, and so was she. Grabe! Ang wild namin. We slept comfortably, wrapped in each other’s arms, and naked.

I found myself alone in her bed that morning. A pink shirt was left on her side of the bed, with a note on top of it.

Sorry if I left early. You were sound asleep and didn’t want to bother you. Here’s a shirt. Use it temporarily. Your stained shirt’s on my hamper, and I don’t think you would want to wear dirty ones. Call me maybe?

                Ang pangit naman ng hand writing ng babaeng ito. But oh yeah, she wants more of me. Sinuot ko nalang yung pink shirt and noticed a lot of withered rose petals on the floor. May petals ba nung nag se-sex kami dito? And may oil pa sa kama. Did we use oil as lubricants last night? Oh well!

            So, I got my jeans on and went out of Delight’s pad. For some reason, I feel so sleepy kahit na kagigising ko pa lang. Oh, maybe because it was still 7:45AM. Anong oras ba yung shift ni Delight? I don’t think she even had enough sleep. The moment I arrived back home, I went to my room, and slept.

            I have been sleeping for I don’t know how many hours. I woke up to the sound of my ring tone. I lazily answered it, and it was Alcoy.

            “Dude! Sa’n ka na? May practice tayo ngayon uy! Next week na kaya ang games natin against HRM!” Alcoy said without even saying hello. How ungrateful.

            “Oh shit, dude! I forgot, anong oras na ba?” I said, as I took a glance on my wall clock.

            “Oh… Uhh.. Hi... Andyan ba si Christian?” Alcoy mumbled.

            “Huh? Baliw. Ako to.”

            “Huh?”Alcoy replied, and added “Uh, miss, pwede paki-pasa yung phone kay Christian? It’s Urgent kasi eh.”

            “Unggoy. Anong miss. Ako nga to.” I abruptly replied.

            “Uhh… Melissa? Ikaw ba yan?” sagot ni Alcoy. Now I’m really confused!

            “NO! Alcoy, ano ba…” Naiirita na ko sa biro nitong Alcoy na to ha.

            “Sino ka ba, Miss? How did you know me?” Alcoy asked again. Bakit di ako ma recognize ni Alcoy? Anong pakulo na naman tong ginagawa ni Alcoy? “Anyways, tell him we need him now sa school gym naming for practice.” Sabay baba ng phone.

            What the fudge? Tripping na naman tong si Alcoy.

            “Unggoy Alcoy!” I said out loud, kahit alam kong end na ang call, and placed my phone beside me. Wait, what is my voice pitch high?

            “Uhh… Hello?” I said, to test my voice, and DANG!, I sound like a girl! I was staring at my room’s ceiling, still lying on my bed, figuring what happened to my voice.

            I grabbed my phone again, trying to text my sister when I noticed my dainty little hands! Bakit ang liit ng fingertips ko? Korteng pambabae? I got up and stared at my arms. My biceps are gone and turned into slender arms. My hairy legs are gone, and now parang legs ng babae! I stared on to my abs, and they’re gone as well!

            I had to get up! I faced the mirror, and this girl, with long, shiny jet black hair, is staring back at me! WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT IS GOING ON?

                                                            End of Chapter One