WARNINGS

Mentions of Eating Disorders & Trauma

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A/N

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• DAMIAN •

'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'

A wise saying that has been proven throughout the times till this very day. It was easy to forget sometimes that a factor even greater than a man's pride existed solely to contend; the sheer pressure of a severely sex-deprived woman.

True to my word, I set a boundary for lovemaking with the condition of being supplied with information so simple, that I was surprised she hadn't given in yet. Which made me all the more suspicious, cause if it was nothing, why would she subject herself — and my prideful self — to such?

I knew her ego was taking charge as well, but it didn't mean I liked the prospect of it. My mind was spiraling in different directions and it took all that I had in me to not string Mirko up and bleed the answers out. But alas, eunuch bodyguards weren't as common within the famiglia and Makua had warmed up to him.

Fucking impossible.

"I know I've said this for the umpteenth time, but it's really nice to meet you, up close, for the first time." Natasha, Makua's ever-bubbly best friend, mused.

It was Sunday and Makua mentioned going for brunch with her friends — the only ones I acknowledged — which was a tradition she kept up to twice a month. And for the first time, she'd asked me to come with.

She'd done that cute little pouty thing with her glossed lips and the workload waiting in my study didn't seem so urgent anymore.

So here we were seated in the urban-styled dining space of their apartment, opposite from the couple she was so fond of. My hand rested gingerly on her lap, idly fiddling with the light material of the yellow sundress she wore. Her hair was sleeked back in a bun with dangling hoop earrings that bounced and fluttered around as she moved her head. It was hard to keep my eyes on our hosts, or stop the stirring tension filling in my gut.

Realizing I'd been quiet, I smiled. "Same here. It's an honor meeting you two."

Natasha dipped to the side, turning to her husband. "I love the way he talks, he really said 'it's an honor'!" She clapped her hands, dramatically and from my side vision, I watched Makua facepalm herself. "One down."

I quirked a brow, "One down?"

Shino— her husband—leaned back in his seat, "Well, we have this list that," his fingers nudged towards Makua, who I turned to now, "our beloved Makkie here, created to evaluate our significant others."

"Interesting," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. She rolled hers in turn.

"Don't look at me like that, okay? I made that, what? In third year? And guess who never had to use it?" She pointed towards them. "While, I, the creator, had to be at the receiving end countless times."

"Boo-hoo, it's been effective that's why we use it!" Nat countered and they entered a little back-and-forth — like they'd done from the moment we stepped in. I kept my eyes on her and enjoyed the way she talked freely, smiling and pointing and radiating all that beauty that I couldn't believe I call mine now.

My fingers stroked the soft skin of her thigh through the fabric, inching further until I had her inner thigh and then some, wrapped in one hand, giving it a little squeeze. Her eyes found mine immediately and her words to Nat died out.

She licked her lips after a moment and turned away. I still looked at her though I could feel the tension in the room with her friends darting their eyes between us.

Shino was the first to get up, "I'll be right back, let me get the meal."

"I'll help," Nat said and followed. Once they were out of earshot, Makua whipped her head towards me.

"Are you trying to get me naked with an audience?" Her tone was playful and low. "Stop doing that."

I smirked, "Doing what?" my fingers pressed down on the softness of her skin through the fabric, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She hissed and turned toward the corner her friends had gone and back to my face. "For someone who has avoided sex for childish reasons, might I add, you seem awfully horny."

"Oh you don't know the half of it," I licked my lips, moving my hands until they settled just before her inner thighs. "All you have to do is tell me, and I'll take you here if I have to."

Her eyes widened as she stared into mine, her resolve seemed to be shaking at its core. But then Natasha's laughter drew closer, snapping her out of the mood. She smacked my hand away as they approached.

I hid my displeasure with an award-winning smile, watching as Shino carried large bowls filled with pasta, rice and what-nots, placing them at the center. Natasha on the other hand, had a toddler tucked to herself, who held his hands out at the sight of Makua.

"My big boy!" Makua squealed, getting up and taking him in her grasp. She twirled and held him tightly to herself, settling him on her lap when she sat. He had all her attention now, speaking in baby gibberish and actually conducting a conversation.

My hands found the champagne glass and I poured a generous fill, sipping and trying to focus my attention on the couple that was settling back down.

In no time, we shared a prayer and food was served. It was a bit different than what I expected. There was no theme, no order just a bit of everything. Like a second-hand buffet styled setting where you didn't have to get up and fetch the food, just sit and dish.

I had about four different portions consisting of rice, Alfredo pasta, pizza and kimchi placed on my plate. It was an odd mix and I feared for my health — but I decided to indulge as Shino and I shared some work stories. He's an accountant at some firm, and a bloody good one from all indication. In my case, I diced through the hard lifting parts of my work and mixed in a good portion of lies.

"Jesus, Makua." Natasha retorted, bringing my attention to her as they stared themselves down. "You've basically fed Nato all your food."

I turned to them, ignoring the boy who waved meekly at me with his mouth full. Makua leveled a glare at her friend while Shino and I shared a worried look.

"And?" She said, quirking a brow. One that would be normal to some but a signal for war with anyone who knew even a little bit about her. Nat seemed shared the same thought.

"And, he can be fed separately while you eat. You might think you're sly, but there's a feast in front of you and you bet your ass, you won't leave here without eating some."

Makua rolled her eyes, bouncing Nato softly on her lap. "I ate before I came. If I don't eat here, I'll just pack some to go."

My eyes fell on hers with a frown. She hadn't eaten anything all day because she mused about brunch all morning. "When did you eat?" The question earned a deadly side eye from her.

"Sometime this morning."

"What did you eat?" Nat shot back, her eyes fixed on her friend.

Makua scoffed, "What is this? A gang up? I said, I ate. So, I ate."

"Or you're just a liar that's starving herself. Do you know how detrimental this can be to your freaking health? You could faint from exhaustion, even worse, become lanky and bony." Nat lashed, and the scowl that crawled on Makua's lips had me throwing a precautionary arm around her shoulders.

She subtly shrugged it back and took a deep breath. "I get your concern, Nat. But I'm not starving myself. I'll eat now to fucking prove it if I have to."

"Then go ahead." She gestures towards the food and ruefully, Makua does as she's told. I watched the whole thing unfold, trying to keep myself in check and note this for conversation later. It took all I had in me to not cuss her friend out. No friend should ever embarrass you like that, lest in front of people — no matter how familiar.

I hadn't noticed any reluctance for food or starvation. Every time we'd been together, I cooked or she cooked and we ate. Quite well I might say. So when did it start? And how had Natasha become so touchy about it.

"Sorry about that." Shino said, rubbing the back of his neck. "They're usually at it more these days. Always something to argue about."

The girls didn't respond to this, instead, digging into their food with the tension still swirling in the air.

"Hmm." I brought the wine glass to my lips and sipped, watching Makua surly mood on side, letting my hands move to the side of her thigh that wasn't occupied by the bouncing boy.

She didn't acknowledge it and just focused on tossing the food on her plate.

"Anyway," Shino said a bit louder, eager as I was, to change the subject. "So tell us, how did you two meet."

A small smile drew at my lips and I told them just as Tonia had instructed — no one was an exception — and watched them lap up the tailored lies that were awfully close to the truth.

Not that she'd know about that now.

***

Once the car was parked at the curb of our home, Makua was quick to get down. By the time I slipped out, she was already at the door, bursting in and slamming the door shut.

I sighed and followed. Inside, I could hear the clatter and fumbling of things in the kitchen. I found her leaned against the counter, anger etched in her features as she corked open a bottle of wine and took a long gulp from it.

"Woah, bambina, calm down." I snatched the bottle from her, resulting in a few drops spilling on her gown. She cursed and rubbed aimlessly at the stain before rubbing her hands down her face. "What's the problem?"

She pointed towards the door, "Nat. She is my problem. Like what the fuck was that? Why is it that you and I can't have a freaking lunch, dinner or anything with our families or friends without someone just saying smack about me? How is it a problem if I don't fucking eat? I always do, you see me for Christ sake!"

I held her arms at either side, rubbing at them slowly. Bending a little, I made sure our eyes were fixed solely on ourselves. "Hey, whatever she said or did, it may have been the wrong timing but I think she's just looking out for you. Sometimes families give advice at the worst times that suit them because they care about you. Okay? At least we got to spend time with your friends, and their little attention-seeker."

That made her laugh a little and she shook her head. Dropping her head in her hands. "You're just jealous he stole the show today."

"No he didn't and no, I'm not jealous of a toddler."

"Hmm," she moved from my hold, a small smile that read 'I don't believe you', stuck on her lips as she reached for the bottle of wine again. "Look, I know you're going to bring it up soon but I want you to know that I'm not trying to starve myself and I sure as hell, do not have an eating disorder — as she's been trying to pin me with for years. She's delusional."

"She's a training resident, I'm sure if she was delusional, she wouldn't have made it this far. I know it may be something you don't want to talk about, but I'm here for you whenever you want to."

She took another swig from the bottle and wiped her hand clean. "Like I said, there's nothing to talk about."

Silence fell between us as I stared at her. She circled the kitchen counter leaned against it, watching me as she drank from the bottle. "Why are you so eager to get yourself drunk?"

She didn't reply.

"So you won't talk to me about the other night and now this?" I moved till I was beside her, "I can't be of any help if I don't know what's going on."

She placed the half-empty bottle on the kitchen island, swallowing and tilting her head so our eyes locked. "Nothing is going on, I'm just... I'm just trying at this point. Everything is going okay now, fast, better than I expected. But it seems like everyone just has something to say about it or me. And you've been amazing. The best that there is, I don't need to burden you with every little issue I have."

I wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her closer. "What if that's what I want? We're in a relationship, Bambina. A partnership at this point. You don't have to hide anything from me."

A defiant pout formed along her lips. "Does that only apply to me? Cause if my memory serves me right, you don't tell me anything about what's going on with you."

"No, no, no," I countered, "I don't tell you about the business, my family issue and all that. That's different. You've witnessed a part of that too early in this and I would never want you to relive it."

She was quiet at that, resting her head on my chest and swaying slowly. I rubbed the length of her back in soothing strides before she spoke again, her arms encircling me and holding me tighter. "You know... I know said a while ago that death... the things I saw... didn't affect me so much but sometimes I think about them. But it doesn't feel like I witnessed it or anything. They feel distant, like some dream or imagination. Not a memory."

I froze at that, looking down at her as she squeezed my body tighter as if drawing strength from me. I thought about it at times from the first situation with Ramiro's death to the gala night with Luciano. She'd seemed to have blacked out the first time, almost having some sort of amnesia. Then the second time, she'd been so shaken, I was surprised when she flipped around and turned outright sexual with me.

But I just went with the flow. Hoping deep down that she was able to shrug it off and not dwell on such. It was my mistake assuming that she could have a heart like mine. Dark and cold, resistant to the concept of death.

The only remorse I felt was knowing I'd put her in the position to witness outright murder. My guilt never extended to those on my receiving end. She was an exception from all indications.

"Do you want to talk about it? I might not be a therapist, but I have some knowledge on how to approach trauma to a certain degree."

She shook her head, looking up and resting her chin against my chest. "I'd rather just talk to someone like a shrink or something."

My body went rigid at that point. "We currently don't have a shrink within the family and I don't know if I have to mention how dangerous it'll be to go t—"

"Then I could talk to someone within the family."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Who?"

She shrugged and rested her head back in its place. "I'll decide and let you know."

I didn't like the sound of that, but I didn't want to argue. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, drawing me out of my train of thoughts. She perked up when I ignored it and it buzzed again.

"Aren't you going to check who it is?"

I hesitated, feeling my stomach knot as the phone buzzed again, not from a call but persistent text messages. Pulling away, I brought it out of my pocket and found a few probing messages from Renzo.

Renzo: Sir

Renzo: Sir, please if you see this, let me know

Renzo: It's urgent. Kindly reach out in time

I looked up to find Makua staring back at me, brows creased as she watched me. "What's wrong?"

My fingers moved quickly, "Nothing. It's just Renzo, I'm sure it's noth—"

The words died in my throat as Renzo's message delivered faster than my response had gone.

Renzo: I don't mean to cause a panic sir, but Mr. Leon has asked for your presence at a meeting. And he specifically said to mention, that it's a matter of life and death...sir.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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