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"I slept with Nate." I said and as soon as the words left my mouth fear filled me up; fear of how he was going to react.

His eyes widened and he instantly dropped my hand making it fall with a slight thud on my thigh.

"What do you mean you slept with him?!" He asked hotly.

It obviously wasn't so hard to figure out. He probably knew but had a small part in him which wished that this wasn't true, that maybe it meant something else.

I lowered my head in shame, having no courage to say anything else to him.

"Goddamnit, answer me Victoria!" He said, his tone rising.

I swallowed down the lump forming in my throat and answered him. "Yes I had sex with him Gerald." I said weakly. "I cheated on you."

I expected to see hurt in his eyes but all I seen was anger; burning rage. He looked furious, like he was ready to kill.

"Fuck! I knew, I just knew it was going to fucking come to this, I knew it was a mistake to fucking date you!" He yelled angrily. "Why the fuck did you even consider being my girlfriend if you were just going to fucking cheat on me?! Or was it my fault? Was I not good enough for you? Or was I just not giving you enough?!"

I flinched at his tone. Of course it wasn't his fault, he was more than good enough for me. My feelings were at fault, I was overwhelmed with just feeling Nate's touch on me that I lost all control. Obviously I wasn't going to tell him that, it'll just anger him more.

"It was not your fault at all-" I started but got cut off by a masculine voice which didn't belong to Gerald.

"What's all the yelling about?"

I looked and seen that the voice belonged to Dave, Gerald's soon to be step-brother. He looked between Gerald and I with a frown on his face.

"Are you guys fighting? Or is G just being a little dominant and enjoys screaming at the pretty girl who looks to be nervous as hell." Dave teased and Gerald seemed to have gotten angrier, if that was even possible.

"I think it's best if you just leave us the fuck alone." Gerald said coldly.

He put his hands up in defence. "I'm leaving already, bro."

"See ya, Victoria." He added and walked into the direction of the kitchen.

As soon as he left I started to explain what I was explainin earlier before we got interrupted.

"Gerald it's not your fault or even Nate's, it's all my fault. I fucked up and I really don't deserve you at all, but I won't my able to live without you. Please just think this through and don't just throw me away like you did before." I said, my voice cracking.

"Are you even fucking hearing yourself right now? You want me to just forget this and move on? You fucking cheated Victoria! For one whole month you had me convinced that you actually loved me. I thought that maybe you had actually loved me and Nate was an old flame. How fucking stupid of me to think that. You know now that you so willingly fucked with another guy, despite the fact that you were with me, it's finally dawned on me that you only dated me because you pitied me. You felt bad every time I was hurt over the fact that you were with Nate, you never truly did love me, you just fucking pitied me that's all." He said bitterly.

Pitied him? Where did that come from?

"I did not pity you. At that time it just felt like I was doing the right thing. Dating you just outta pity never crossed my mind once, Gerald."

He snorted. "Oh and now you've realised what a mistake you made by choosing me? How you fucked up choosing heartbroken Gerald over Nate -  who you love so dearly?"

I shock my head at him. He was asking me questions I didn't even know the answers to myself. Why did I choose Gerald that day? I don't know. Why did I sleep with Nate?

Because I'm in love with him. My inner voice said in my mind but I ignored it. Yes I admitted to being in love with Nate, but now I just don't  even wanna think about it. Everything is just too messy.

"You don't even have a fucking answer!" He said and let out a humourless laugh. "I can't even fucking look at you now!"

My heart hurt at his words. I knew this was going to happen. It was like the last time all over again, but this time I doubt he'll ever forgive me.

I wiped the few tears that fell and stood up.

"Goodbye Gerald." I whispered and walked away from him as fast as my legs could take me, not wanting to see him look at me with hatred because that'll just hurt even more. Even though I deserved it I just couldn't hold back any emotion anymore and I hated being weak.

I opened the door until a hand held my wrist,  stopping me.

"Hey can I just say something?" Dave asked.

I turned around and forced out a smile. "Yeah sure."

"I'll walk you to your car and we can talk there." I nodded at him.

We walked out the house and to my car, none of us saying anything during the walk.

I reached my car and leaned against the door. "What do you want to talk about?"

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well I kinda heard your argument with Gerald."

Oh crap!

"And well, I just wanna say try and fix it. He's hurt and even though I barely know him and he probably hates me, but no one deserves to lose someone they love. I lost someone I loved and it hurts; it hurts a lot." He said seriously.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and forced out a smile at him. "Trust me, no one else wants to fix things with him more than me, but he doesn't deserve me. I cheated on him, I betrayed his trust."

"Look I don't know what exactly is going on and who the hell Nate is, but I'm really just trying to be the good guy and prevent the heartache." He said.

I frustratedly ran my hands over my face. "It's really not going to be so easy. Whether I end up with Nate or Gerald the other is always going to end up hurt. It's so fucking complicated. Maybe if I died things wouldn't be so complicated anymore." I let out a bitter chuckle.

"No way, if that has to happen they'll just be even more hurt. Losing a girl you love to death is worst than losing her to another guy. At least if she's with another man she loves her eyes will be filled with joy and not ice cold and lifeless." He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

He either was used to dealing with situations like this or he lost someone he loved. My guess was the latter.

"Anyway, all I'm saying is fix things before it gets messier than it already is."

I nodded at him. "Of course. Thanks for the advice."

He grinned at me. "Yeah of course."

"And do me a favour, please make sure Gerald isn't alone and dealing with his emotions in anger. I don't want him doing something he regrets. The last time we had a fight he ended up in a car crash and a coma." I told him, not wanting Gerald to act reckless and for some reason it seemed like Dave cared for Gerald. That or he was just really kind.

"I'll definitely do so. I gotta look out for my little bro." He said earnestly.

I smiled at him. "Thanks again."

He grinned at me and I got into my car, really just wanting to go home and just clear my head and emotions out.

I started my car and drove away, feeling a lump in my throat and tears forming in my eyes as everything sunk in.

I quickly blinked my tears away and turned on my car radio to district me so I didn't end up crying and dying due to a car crash.

After a drive which felt like a century but really not that long, I was at home and walked into my house.

I walked up to my bedroom and shut the door closed. I threw my phone on my dressing table, crawled into my bed and curled up in a ball, letting out everything.

My mind was running through my whole events today. From the fact that Nate was leaving, me realising that I loved him and my whole relationship with Gerald. It was all fucked up.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't stop sobbing. I always hated crying, it made me feel weak and I hated being weak. People always said it makes you feel better, and sometimes it really does, but right now in my current situation nothing at all could make me feel better. I hated myself more than anything.

****

"I have all the right to enter her room when I want to and she will have no say." I distantly heard a familiar voice say but I honestly was enjoying my sleep way too much to open my eyes and see what was going on.

"No you cannot just barge into her room just like that. Plus she's asleep so just get the fuck out before you wake her up." Another familiar voice.

Who the hell was talking? And more importantly why were they disturbing my beautiful sleep?

"I only came here to tell her what you're too much of a coward to tell her." This time the voice was louder and closer.

"It's not in your place to tell her. I will definitely tell her but not now, at least let her graduate first. I don't want anything disturbing her education and if I do tell her she wouldn't give a fuck about graduating." The other voice whisper-yelled, probably so they couldn't wake me up but unfortunately the other voice did so already.

The voices kept on arguing and got louder and I started to recognise them.

I slowly opened my eyes and seen Michael standing by my bed with a man I hadn't seen in years.

"She's just a teenage girl, she doesn't need to bear with my bag-" Michael said but I cut him off.

"Dad?" I said, shocked. I was now fully awake and shocked by my dad who was standing a few feet away from me.

He was a medium sized man and had a medium height unlike my grandad, who Michael and I got our tall gene from, whilst Natasha got the short gene from my father. He had short hair and tan skin like my whole family did. I hadn't seen him in more than two years yet he still looked the same only a little older.

I gaped at him. "What are you doing here?"

Before he could answer Michael did. "He just wanted to see how my company was doing."

I narrowed my eyes at them. Something was fishy here, my dad wouldn't just randomly show up without me knowing. And why did Michael look so panicked?

I opened my mouth to ask more questions but Michael stopped me.

"Victoria stop stressing, it's nothing important. He just thought it'd be fine to barge into your room without even knocking so I just wanted to see what was wrong and get him out." Michael said.

That was sweet of him to respect my privacy. Ever since my party Michael has been treating me like he used to. And I haven't seen Jessica since then. I wonder what was the sudden change caused by. It was strange but I just went with it.

"I'm her father of course I can walk into her room whenever I feel like it." Dad said sternly.

Michael shook his head at him. "Please, you just share DNA with us, that's all. I look after her, I see to her needs and I make sure that she has a roof over a head, food to eat everyday and a car to take her from place to place. You don't ever care about those things; you never had," Michael said. "Now just get out."

He glared at Michael and then left the room.

I grinned at my brother. "Thanks for getting rid of him. I don't think I can stand him any longer than 5 minutes."

He chuckled and walked over to my bed and sat at the edge.

"Are you alright?" He asked looking concerned.

I frowned. "Yeah I'm good. Why?"

He sighed. "Well I heard you crying earlier on."

Oh no, my sobs were probably so loud that Michael heard me.

After I cried everything until it felt like my tear glands were dried up, I somehow fell asleep.

I shifted my gaze down. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Victoria, if something is troubling you tell me, don't hide it." He said, concern lacing his tone.

I gave him an assuring smile, or what I hoped looked like one and not a weak attempt of one.

"I'm fine. I promise it's nothing serious."

He examined me and then nodded. "Alright, but if you wanna talk about it I'm here."

I definitely could not talk to Michael about what happened, he would just freak out. After all he hates Nate and hates the fact that I have to get a boyfriend of any kind. So imagine telling him that I had a boyfriend who I cheated on with a guy he hates? Yeah, it won't be pretty.

"I know." I said with a small smile.

"Now get out of bed and come down for dinner. It's already 7 PM." Michael said and left my room, closing the door behind him.

I really didn't want to go down and have dinner with my dad and annoying sister around along with her bitch aka fiancé.

I just wanted to lay back in bed and sleep more but I knew that if I did that I'd end up starving at midnight. So I got out of bed and went down to dinner, not caring that I looked like a hobo.

I walked into the dining room where everyone was already there, including my witchy mother, my annoying sister and her dumb minion who's supposed to be her 'fiancé'.

I walked over to my seat and sat down, the smell of roast chicken in the air.

Gloria served me a plate of roast chicken, roasted vegetables and sauce.

I smiled at her. "Thank you."

Everyone was silent and the only sound was the cutlery against the plates. I didn't care to break the silence so I just continued to eat my dinner.

I took a sip of my water and went back to eating until I heard someone clear their throat.

I looked up and noticed everyone was staring at me. What'd I do now?

"What?" I said and raised a brow.

"You haven't seen me in years and you can't even greet me?" The woman with big brown eyes, black hair and a bony face known as my mother said.

"Well hello mother dear. What a displeasure to see you and your husband." I said with a sarcastic smile. I heard Michael snicker at my words.

My mother and father never had time for me. I was always their least favourite child. They always picked on me, insulted me and just never really bothered about me.

Once when I was about 5 and very stupid, I thought my dad had actually loved me so I made a painting of our family but he was too cooped up in his work so he ripped it and threw it in the bin. I was hurt and ended up crying which made my brother angry and he stared fighting with our father, making the two of us the most hated children, while Natasha was their little pet.

And they say the youngest is always the pet. Whoever said that obviously had no brains whatsoever.

"Victoria, that is no way to speak your mother!" Natasha said sternly.

I rolled my eyes. "So now the slutty pet is talking."

"You seriously calling her a slut? What about you and that guy at the restaurant who you had wrapped around you finger?" Daniel, my sister's fiancé, defended.

Oh crap, that was Nate. If his name has to come out Michael will be furious and he'll probably go back to hating me.

Before I could retort Michael spoke.

"If you want to continue staying in my house I suggest that you don't insult my little sister."

I flashed Natasha a smug grin at Michael's words. She glared at me.

"Wow, it's been years and both of you still gang up on poor Tasha," Dad said. "Don't let what they say get to your head sweetheart."

"Thank you daddy, that makes me feel a lot better." Natasha said in an annoying shrill voice, which she probably thought was cute.

I rolled my eyes at the both of them and finished the last of my food.

"I'm done." I announced after drinking the last sip of water from my glass.

"Not yet young lady, you will sit and eat dessert with us then you may leave." My witch of a mother said sternly.

Ugh, no! I don't wanna stay any longer with these annoying people I'm forced to call family. I thought, annoyed.

"If you don't want dessert you can go upstairs." Michael said, probably sensing my annoyance.

I gave him a grateful look, got off my chair and went upstairs to my room. I could hear my mom nagging with Michael but I ignored it.

After locking my door and leaving the key in so no one could barge in again, I sat on my bed cross-legged and turned my TV on, needing to distract my mind.

I surfed the channels looking for something to watch and settled on Men In Black. Will Smith was always my favourite actor and so were all his movies, so what not better to watch then a movie of his.

I got comfy in my bed and tucked myself under the blanket. My thoughts only about  Agent Kay and Agent Jay and nothing to do with today's horrible events.

****

After packing my books away I walked to the parking lot and towards my car until I felt a hand grab my wrist and pull me behind the wall of the school building.

I was about to kick my attacker in the shin until I realised that it was Nate.

I let out a breath of relief until my relief was replaced by anger.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" I said and shoved his chest but he didn't move an inch.

He grinned down at me. "Sorry sunshine, but I wanted to talk to you and you avoided me at lunch so I thought I'd just get your attention after school."

Today we were back at school and things between Nate, Gerald and I were awkward and tense; well with Nate I made it more awkward.

Gerald hadn't even done as much as glance at me or Nate even though I tried to get his attention he'd just ignore me and walk away. As for Nate, well I just avoided him the whole day so I didn't screw up again and make things worse, because when I was around Nate I tend to lose control and mess everything up.

"So talk." I told him and crossed my arms across my chest.

"What happened with you and Gerald?" He asked softly and gently moved a strand of hair from my face. My skin tingled at the feel of his fingertips on my face but I pushed it away.

I took a deep breath and averted my gaze from his. "It went terrible. He was furious and I doubt he ever wants do see or talk to me ever again."

"He'll come around, sunshine."

I wasn't stupid so I knew that Gerald was never going to come around, but I didn't say anything and smiled at him instead.

Instead of walking away he inched closer to me, so close that I could feel his minty breath fan my face.

He placed his hand on my cheek and lower his head down to mine so his lips were mere inches from mine.

My heart was pounding and I was finding it hard to think straight, all I wanted were his plump lips on mine.

I closed my eyes and as soon as I did that the first thought that filed my mind was that he was leaving and that's when common sense hit me as well. I can't kiss him and end up falling more and more for him because he's just going to leave.

I left my eyes closed because it'll be easier to reject him if I couldn't see his face or his brown eyes.

"Nate we-" I got cut off when I felt Nate's body being yanked off mine and a loud 'thud' which sounded like a body being thrown against a wall.

I shot my eyes open and found that Gerald was the one that pulled Nate away from me and slammed him against the wall.

Oh no I have a bad feeling.

___

Gerald's POV

I felt anger fill up my whole body. It looked like Nate was going to kiss Victoria again and this time I was too pissed at her and Nate to let it slide.

I yanked his body off her and threw him against the wall, clearly taking him off guard.

Yesterday when Victoria told me that she slept with Nate I was furious with her but right now all my anger was directed at Nate.

"Ever since you've come into my life things have not been going my way." I said and threw my balled fist at his jaw but unfortunately he caught it just before could hit him.

Fuck, I forgot that he had fast reflexes.

He removed my hand from his shirt collar and shoved me away.

He stood up fully straight and smirked. "I'm really not in the mood for a fight, mate."

"You're not in the mood or too much of a pussy to fight? I think it's the latter." I said, hoping to instigate him.

From the corner of my eye I could see Victoria glare at me but I just ignored it.

"Honestly, you're just not worth it to get my hands dirty."

I clenched my jaw and before I fully registered what I was going to do I threw a punch at Nate, hitting him on his face. My knuckles were stinging but I ignored it.

"Oh my god!" Victoria said and ran up to him. She wiped the little blood from his lip, thanks to my punch, and then yelled at me.

"Why the fuck are you fighting with him?! I'm the one you should be hitting not Nate."

I felt myself get even more angry at her words. She just defended him after she cheated on me with him? She seriously had some fucking nerve.

"Why does Natey boy over here get enough hits from daddy?" I said and smirked at her.

Back when Victoria told me about what happened to her in New York she let it slip that Nate was abused by his father. I knew it was by accident because she never mentioned it again and whenever I tried mentioning Nate's father to her she would always change the subject and avoid it.

Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw fell open. "But...how do you know?"

Before I could answer her Nate walked away from her and approached me, looking furious enough to murder.

"You wanna fucking fight? Then let's fight!" He growled and threw a punch at me, making me stumble back a little. Just a little.

Guess I touched a nerve.

I straightened myself up and then threw another punch at him.

Another punch.

Another punch.

And then a kick in the ribs which caused him to bend over and spit out blood.

I was never really a violent type of guy but when I was angry I didn't care if I killed a person and right now I was beyond angry.

"Goddamnit Gerald, stop it! You're hurting him!" Victoria cried.

I just ignored her and continued beating the crap outta Nate.

He recovered from my beating and started to fight back. He threw continuous punches at me. It was starting to hurt but I was too angry to even notice the pain.

"Seriously both of you stop! You're being extremely immature." I heard Victoria yell.

Everything happened so fast, Victoria tried to pull me away from Nate and I accidentally pushed her away from me with a force causing her to fall onto the hard pavement.

I stood there shocked that I had caused her to fall. My anger disappeared and was replaced with guilt.

I watched as Nate ran to her, forgetting about his injuries that I had caused him, and helped her up from the ground. She got up and I noticed that the side of her wrist was cut and bleeding.

Of course I had to fucking mess up. How could I have been to stupid to hurt her? Sure I was angry at her but I still loved her. I would never hurt her, she means too much to me no matter what she does.

My feet finally moved from the ground and I went over to her.

"Victoria I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. It was an accident." I explained to her.

Nate was looking at her wound but she pushed him away saying that she was fine.

"It's okay, I know it was an accident. Besides it's just a small cut, nothing major."

She was right, it was just a cut and honestly I currently had more injuries, so did Nate, but she was important to me and I couldn't stand to even see a scratch on her.

"You fell on your head too." Nate said and looked for any injuries on her head.

I felt that familiar jealous feeling in the pit of my stomach but I ignored it not wanting to start another fight.

"I said I'm fine, Nate." She said stubbornly. "You have more injuries than I do."

"You're more important sunshine." He said softly and cupped her cheek.

She leaned her face into his palm while he leaned closer to her and kissed her forehead.

I felt jealous and once again angry, but more than that I felt hurt; hurt that she just seemed to have forgotten my presence and simply only cared about Nate.

I looked down at her wrist and seen that the bleeding had stopped and it was nothing a bandage couldn't fix. And her head seemed to be fine, so I walked away not wanting to stay any longer and watch her and Nate together just to get myself angry and hurt again.

Thankfully we were behind the school where no one ever goes so no one saw the little scene which I just caused.

I walked to my car and I got a few looks from everyone and I heard whispering. Damn fuckers were probably wondering what happened to me.

A few of my jock friends asked what happened but I just brushed them off by saying I'd tell them tomorrow.

I got in my car, started the ignition and drove off.

My knuckles were cut open and stung a little. My ribs had an uncomfortable feeling but I doubt that it was broken and I could feel a few cuts on my face. No major injuries, Nate looked much worse thanks to me. I felt satisfaction as I thought about Nate's injuries and found my mood lighten a little.

Nate had what looked like was going to be a black eye soon, probably a broken rib, many cuts on his face and I'm pretty sure I've broke at least one tooth of his. I smirked in satisfaction.

Victoria was probably helping him path himself up. My smirk dropped from my face as I realised that Victoria was probably by his side now, patching up his fucking wounds.

That's all she seemed to fucking care about, her whole world revolved around Nathaniel fucking Elington. To think that she's only known him for two years yet she knows me for 7 fucking years. I've been by her side ever since she was in middle school, I comforted her when those little fuckers bullied her in middle school, where was Nate? He didn't even know of her fucking existence.

I've had feelings for her since 9th grade but I always resisted myself until 11th grade when I started casually flirting around with her. She always flirted back with me and I started to think that maybe she felt the same for me, most stupidest thought I've ever fucking had. She just led me on, making me believe that she felt something for me when all she did was fucking pity me.

I shook away my thoughts which have circled through my mind over a hundred times and noticed that I was going way over the speed limit and my hands were clenched tightly around the steering wheel. I tend to think a lot while driving and I end up getting angry and speeding which led to my car crash the last time.

I loosened my grip on the steering wheel, slowed down my speed and turned the radio on to distract my mind.

I drove on home with my only thoughts being the lyrics to Panda which was playing in my car.

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