Gerald's POV

I walked into my house and made my way to the kitchen to get the first-aid kit to patch my wounds up.

As soon as I walked in I spotted an all too familiar blonde who annoyed the living fuck out of me.

"What happened to your face?" Grace said sternly, like she was my fucking mother.

I just ignored her and proceeded forward to get what I came for and not answer Grace's fucking questions.

Ever since I found out about my dad and Grace she's pretty much been here every fucking day, pretending to be my mother. Like that'll ever happen, no one could ever replace my kind, understanding and beautiful mother. She was the best mother in the world, she always understood me, was always patient and I always knew I could confide with her about anything.

When my mother died my father was always there for me when he could. He'd make sure my every need and want was filled and tried his best to be as understanding as she was. So naturally we grew much closer and the hole  from my mother's death was slowly getting filled thanks to my dad and Victoria, but now it seemed to be opening up again since my father only cared about Grace and her son, completely forgetting my existence, and I was losing Victoria to Nate.

"Gerald I'm talking to you!" Grace yelled at me as I grabbed the first-aid kit.

Like her yelling is going to make me fucking answer her.

I once again ignored her and walked towards the exit of the kitchen until I felt someone grasp my arm, stopping me.

"You will answer me when I speak to you." Grace said.

I pulled my arm out of her grasp and turned around to face her. "Look at you trying to be my mother." I mocked, feeling amused by the stern glare she was giving me.

"I am as good as your mother no matter what you think." She said and pointed her index finger at me.

"You fucking wish, Grace."

Her stern looked morphed into one of anger. "I will not tolerate your language"

I smirked down at her, getting more and more amused.

"I don't give a fuck what you think." I said, emphasising 'fuck'.

Anger flashed through her eyes. She reached up and slapped me across the face.

My face barely moved an inch although it did sting a little due to the injuries Nate gave me.

I felt anger fill up my whole body again. Who the fuck did she think she was to even touch me? My own mother had never even hit me once in my life and this woman thinks she can do so?! I've fucking had enough of her.

"You bitch! You wanna be my fucking mother? Then here's a tip to get me to like you," I stepped closer to her. "Stop interfering in my fucking life."

And with that I turned on my heel and left, until I seen my dad in the doorway; looking pissed as fuck.

Fuck no! I have to deal with him too?!

"Gerald Anton Iver!" He yelled, his nostrils flaring. "How dare you speak to her like that?! I'm ashamed of you."

"I really have no time for this." I said and shook my head frustratedly.

"You know I'm actually glad that your mother is dead so she didn't have to see what a disgrace you've grown up to be!" He spat bitterly. "Sometimes I wish that you would just leave me forever and let me live happily in peace."

I felt a pang in my chest at his words but I ignored it and found myself get angry instead of hurt. I do that a lot, instead of embracing the pain I channel it into anger; it was much easier to deal with.

"If my mother were alive I wouldn't have been like this." I said coldly.

After saying that I shoved my dad away and stormed up to my room, really needing to be alone and clear my head.

I slammed my door shut. I walked towards my balcony door, just to get a little fresh air, until I felt something crunch under the sole of my shoe. I looked down and found broken pieces of glass.

I frowned and bent down to see where the glass came from. On the floor was a broken photo frame. I recognised the frame as the one where I had a picture of my mom holding me when I was just a year old. I always kept that photo close to me because it was the only reminder of her.

I guess the frame somehow fell. I searched the floor for the picture since only the frame was broken and the picture should be fine.

I looked under my bed and found the same picture ripped into quarters.

I clenched my jaw in anger. It was fucking ripped, which meant someone intentionally broke it and it never fall by accident. Who the fuck did this?!

I knew exactly who did this!

I stormed out my room and sprinted down the stairs.

"Grace!" I yelled. "Where the fuck are you?!"

I looked through the kitchen, living room and pretty much the whole floor but she wasn't anywhere.

"What did my mother do this time?" Dave asked, walking into the living room where I currently was.

I walked towards him and threw the torn pieces of the picture at him. "You see this?! She fucking tore it! I'm going to kill her!"

He picked up the pieces and an apologetic look came on his face when he realised what picture it was.

"I'm really sorry on my mother's behalf, Gerald. It was really low of her to do such a thing. I wish I could replace this but it's unfortunately impossible. I understand that it must hurt to lose this picture since it's the only remaining piece you have of her, and once again I'm really sorry man." He said apologetically.

I took back the pieces from him and sat down on the sofa, losing all my anger. I placed my elbows on my knees and frustratedly ran my fingers through my hair.

"I know, my mother is a real bitch." Dave said and chuckled lightly. I felt the sofa dip and I knew he sat next to me.

I gathered the torn bits of the picture snd pieced them together, making it whole again.

I felt an ache in my heart as I looked at the picture. My mother was once a beautiful woman, she had long light brown hair, almond shaped eyes which was a dark brown and she had the fairest skin.

"I just miss her so much. She always made me feel better when I was down." I muttered, feeling my emotions take over me.

"Something my mother has never done for me."

I turned my head towards Dave. "What about your dad?"

He snorted. "I don't even know who my father is. When Grace was in high school she fucked with some random guy and then had me."

So that's what happened with his father.

"After she had me her father forced her to get married, so he found her this rich guy who she married and then after 10 years he died and she got all his money."

I always knew she was a fucking horrible person.

"So you don't know who your father is?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Nope."

I felt kinda bad for him. Sure I wasn't the biggest fan of him and he always annoyed the hell out of me but he seemed pretty genuine.

"Now enough about me. You wanna tell me why you've been so angry all the time lately? And why you look like you've gotten a beating?" He said, his tone lighter than it was when he was talking about his family.

"That's because I got into a fight. So I technically did get a beating but I did damage to the other guy too."

He raised his brows at me. "Firstly, you only answered one question. Secondly, who did you fight with?"

"Don't tell me it was that Nate guy." He said when I didn't answer.

I just nodded stiffly in reply.

He shook his head. "You need to stop channeling all your emotions into anger. It's just going to turn you into a jerk who Victoria will start to dislike in time."

How'd he know that I did that? Was he talking from experience? Was he right and will Victoria eventually start hating me because of my behaviour?

He probably noticed my puzzled expression because he started to answer my unasked questions.

"Yes if you do continue to behave acting this immature she will eventually start seeing you as a jerk." He said. "And I know what you thinking, yes I am talking from experience."

I Wonder what happened.

"Were you in the same situation as I currently am in?" I asked him and raised my brows.

"Not exactly, but it was close enough. So I suggest you take my advise before you make the same mistake I did." He said seriously.

"What mistake?" I asked, curiosity taking over me.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well let's just say I would've rather lost her to another guy then the way I had lost her."

He had lost his cheerful expression and looked like he was 30 instead of his actual age, which was 24. His shoulders were tense and he seemed to he opening up old wounds. I wanted to ask more but I refrained and changed the subject.

"Guess we have more in common than we thought." I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

When I had just met him I hated him to bits, but now he seemed like a pretty genuine guy and I think I could get used to him. As long as he stops with the stupid nickname.

His shoulders eased up and he grinned at me. "I told you, it's like fate wanted us to be brothers."

Yep, he was back.

"Oh yeah, definitely." I said sarcastically and he chuckled.

His phone buzzed and after he read the text on his phone he stood up from the sofa.

"I gotta go, G." He said, leaving. 

And there's that fucking nickname again.

"Remember fix things with Victoria, even if it means giving her up."

And after that he left the living room and I heard the door shut meaning he left the house.

I leaned my head against the head rest of the sofa and started getting lost in my thoughts.

Maybe Dave was right, maybe I should just let go of her and let her be happy with Nate. Why did she have to love Nate? Why couldn't I be the lucky guy she fell in love with.

I frustratedly ran a hand through my hair. Love sucks, all it does is fuck you over and leave you heartbroken in the end. Which was exactly what was happening to me, I fell in love with a beautiful girl four years ago and now I'm just left with terrible heartache and another hole in my heart. Quite ironic when she had filled the previous hole.

Sometimes I wish that I just hadn't met her but then I remember all the amazing times we shared together which caused me to fall for her and then I realise that maybe this heartache is all worth it, as long as I had my moments of bliss with her.

I have to do the right thing and that was letting her go, making sure she was happy. I needed to forget about my petty feelings and look at the bigger picture which was Victoria's happiness; not mine. I needed to stop being an immature baby.

I took my phone out from my pocket and was about to dial her number but stopped. If I called her that means I'd have to hear her voice which will make it even harder to let her go.

I should send her a text, it'll be easier.

Me: Victoria, I know I acted like a complete jerk to you recently and I'm really sorry. I've just been really frustrated lately and I needed to vent it out somehow, I'm really sorry that you were the one to get my frustrations taken out on. I never meant any of the tears I caused you, but let's face it I'm a stupid, immature dick who fucked up and ended up hurting your feelings. If I could undo it I would without even thinking twice. I hate seeing you hurt yet I was the reason for so many of your tears. Honestly I don't know how I even sleep at night knowing that I had hurt you.

Anyway, the real reason I'm sending this text is because I want you to be happy. I want you to forget that I ever loved you, if you find that hard then just forget about me, move on with Nate. I know you truly love him and true love is one of the most rarest and hardest thing to find, so be with him and find the happiness that you deserve. I'm letting you go Victoria. Once again I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and I hope over time we can look passed this and maybe give friendship a try again.

Nate's a lucky guy to have an amazing girl like you love him, any guy would kill to be in his place (speaking from experience).

And just a side note, if he ever mistreats you I will beat the living crap outta him.

Goodbye Victoria Aldaine. :)

I read over the text and finally clicked the send button. I could feel that familiar ache in my heart but I ignored it, what's done is done. That text was sent and now there's no going back, no matter how much it hurt.

I now had officially lost her, the girl I truly love, the only person besides my dead mother who understood me.

I ran a hand through my hair for what felt like the millionth time and threw my phone onto the coffee table in front of me.

Nate was the luckiest guy to have walked this whole fucking planet. Victoria loved him. How much I wish I could be that guy who she loved, but she loved Nate and I would never be him.

From the time Nate joined school I always envied him. I mean he was taller than me, tanner than I was and as much as I hated to admit it, he was better looking than me. I thought he'd take away my popularity and maybe even my position in the football team when I seen him play, but I never thought he'd end up taking away the most important thing to me; Victoria.

But her happiness is more important than anything else. As long as her green eyes sparkle with happiness and not tears, I'll be alright. I can't stand to see her in tears. Unfortunately, I have been the reason behind her tears so many times. How I wish I hadn't done and said those terrible things to her, yet she somehow found a way to forgive me.

I wonder how things would've been if she never knew Nate. Maybe we would've been that perfect couple that everyone envies; the star couple as some call it.

I smile to myself as I think about her as my girlfriend. And I don't mean the type of relationship we had in that one month, I mean the proper kind, where I can take her out for dates, take her shopping and spoil her. She would force me to watch those crappy romance movies that girls like, and then I can force her to watch a horror movie which she'd end up being scared of and then cuddle close to me so she wouldn't be scared.

I know I sounded like a fucking sappy pussy, but I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. Girls aren't the only ones who want a perfect relationship, guys want it too. We're human and do have feelings at the end of day.

I wonder what happened with Dave and the girl he spoke about though. Maybe he was in the same situation as I was. But he said that it's better if I lost Victoria to another guy than the way he lost his lover, what did that mean?

I shook my thoughts away and grabbed my phone back from the coffee table, unlocked it and checked my text to Victoria.

'Read at 6:07 pm.'

I looked at the time and seen that it was now 6:22 pm, meaning she had read my message fifteen minutes ago.

I locked my phone and thew it back at the coffee table. Now there's definitely no going back.

I felt my heart clench at that thought. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't I just be a heartless dick that didn't care about anything? It would've been so much better, no pain at all.

I let out a frustrated huff and leaned back down into the sofa. Next thing I needed to do was avoid Victoria until graduation.

That's going to be hard as fuck.

__

Victoria's POV

I read over his text over and over again. What did he mean? Was he going to just going to forget about me? Was what we had finished?

"No no no, he can't do this." I muttered to myself, tears forming in my eyes.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I saw blue eyes staring at me curiously.

"Victoria, what's wrong?" Ashley asked me, concern and curiosity evident in her tone.

After I got home from school I called Ashley over to tell her what happened between Nate and Gerald.

So now we were sitting in my living room, watching a movie until I looked at my phone and seen that damn text from Gerald.

"Read this." I said and tossed my phone at her, not caring if it fell or not. I mean what was the point? All it did was show me a fucking text I wish I hadn't seen, I hate that stupid silver device.

"Victoria," Ashley said, looking a little shocked. "This means he's letting you go. It means he has forgiven you for sleeping with Nate and he's pretty much giving you his permission to date Nate; he's saying he's okay with it." She said cheerily.

How could she be cheerful? I felt like I was breaking on the inside. He said goodbye at the end. Goodbye and bye were different things: Bye was just saying farewell; goodbye meant it was forever, it meant he was done with me. I was just going to be a bad memory to him.

I shook my head. "Ash, did you even read the whole thing?"

Her cheerful expression faded. "Yeah I did." She muttered.

"I don't care about being in a relationship with any of them, I just want them in my life. I can't live without them, Ash. It hurts. It's like a big hole without them." I said, my voice starting to crack a little.

From the looks of it I was going to have none of them. Gerald was being completely stupid and leaving my life while Nate was leaving the state and once again leaving me. They're both fucking idiots! I wish I could hate them right now, but I don't; all I feel is hurt that they're both leaving my life. 

"Victoria, you can't have both of them. You have to chose either Nate or Gerald. I understand that it's hard for you, but you don't have a choice." She said and gave me a small smile.

Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't I just keep both of them as friends instead of fucking feelings getting in the fucking way. I just want things to be simple, no complications.

I brought my knees up to my chin and balanced my chin on my knee.

"It's so fucked up." I muttered.

Ashley shifted closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I know. I hate seeing you go through this, Victoria. I wish I could fix it but I can't."

Well I knew one thing for sure was that I loved Nate, as much as I didn't want that to be true it was. I felt in love with him two years ago and I still am. I haven't told anyone yet that I realised I was in love with Nate, I just wasn't ready to say it out loud.

And Gerald was complicated. He was important to me and I care about him more than I do myself but I wasn't in love with him. It was different, maybe I did have a bit of feelings for him but I guess it just disappeared as soon as Nate came back in my life.

Nate was like a flame in me, when I first met him he lit me up and set me on fire, when we parted the flame burnt off, but when he came back he lit up the flame again and now it's blazing.

Only to be burned out again.

"What are you going to do?" Ashley asked me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I honestly didn't know, I mean Nate was leaving so it was completely useless to even consider being in a relationship with him. It's not like he cared though, all he fucking cares about is leaving; leaving me.

I sighed. "I guess first thing I need to do is try and fix things with Gerald. After that I don't know."

After that Nate leaves me.

"What about Nate?" She asked.

Nate is going to leave. He's going back to fucking New York and leaving me.

I wanted to say that but I knew better. Ashley would get hurt over the fact that Jessie was leaving too.

"I'll figure it out." I murmured.

She sighed and sat up straight, looking at me squarely. "Just make sure you do the right thing." She said seriously.

What did she mean?

I was about to ask her but I decided against it. I think I was better off not knowing, so I just nodded nonchalantly in response.

We sat in silence for a while, the only sound was the TV, until Ashley's phone buzzed with a text.

She read the text and her expression turned to one of panic.

"Shit!" She exclaimed. "My mom doesn't know I'm here and she's freaking out."

I rolled my eyes at her. Typical Ashley to not inform anyone about her whereabouts.

"I'm sorry Victoria, but I really have to go." She said, looking like she felt bad to leave me.

I smiled at her. "It's okay, I understand."

She got off the couch and hastily hugged me -barely giving me a chance to hug her back- and sprinted out, yelling a bye.

I rolled my eyes at my crazy best friend who I couldn't live without.

****

After Ashley left I had skipped dinner and was upstairs in my room, trying my best to do my homework but my mind kept on getting lost in my thoughts.

I was sprawled on my bed, chewing at the back of my pen trying to solve this dumb equation without getting distracted with my thoughts.

Just when I thought I had it figured out I heard my annoying ringtone disrupt me. I groaned at the sound.

"Hello?" I said without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello sunshine."

Nate. My heartbeat sped up. Why did he call? Was everything okay? Or was he going to do the same like Gerald and tear my heart up?

"Victoria?" I heard him say again, sounding a little concerned this time.

"Hey Nate." I said trying to sound casual but it actually sounded like a dying animal.

"Can I come over by you? I just really need to get away." He said.

I frowned. Was something wrong? Oh god, I hope everything is alright.

"Yeah sure." I told him, my tone sound more normal this time.

"Great, I'll see you then sunshine." He said and hung up.

Only after he hung up I realised that his tone sounded off, compared to his usual cheerful tone.

I closed my book and kept it away, not feeling like doing my homework.

I sat on my bed and impatiently waited for Nate, a nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach.

****

"Hey sunshine." Nate greeted. He sat down next to me on my bed.

After about almost 20 minutes Nate finally came. The nervous knot in my stomach left as soon as he came but when I noticed the way he looked it returned.

He looked like a nervous wreck. His hair was messy and looked like he had ran his fingers through it several times and his brown eyes were dull and lost its usual sparkle.

Subconsciously, I placed my hand on his and looked at him with concern etched onto my face. 

"What's wrong Nate?"

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and pulled me into his arms, completely taking me off guard.

After I comprehend what he did I wrapped my arms around him too. "What happened, Nate?"

"I fucked up badly, Victoria." He whispered and held me tighter; so tight that if he had to hold me tighter I wouldn't be able to breath.

"I majorly fucked up." He said again, his voice slightly shaking.

He sounded vulnerable, like a scared little boy. My heart broke at his tone.

What was wrong with him? What did he do?

"Nate," I said gently and pulled back slightly from his embrace so I could look at him. "Tell me what happened."

He lowered his gaze from me and looked down instead.

I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. "You know you can tell me anything."

He let out a breath of air. "Remember when you told me to give that gun to my grandad?" He asked, still not looking at me.

Panic started to fill me up. That gun! That stupid gun! God, I hope nothing bad happened.

I nodded at him as a gesture to go on and nervously chewed on my lip.

"Well I heard a lot of shouting downstairs but I ignored it and continued studying, until I heard Iliana. I panicked and ran downstairs to see what was going on. And when I went down I had seen that he hit Iliana; he hit he so hard that he small body fell to the fall," he paused, ran a hand through his hair and continued. "I got so angry that before I could even think straight I took his gun from where I stored it and shot him before he could hurt her again."

Before I could stop it a gasp escaped my lips. He shot his father! I knew that gun was just going to cause trouble. I had told him countless of times to give it to his grandad but he just never fucking listened.

"Is he d-dead?" I asked him softly, our hands still together.

He shook his head. "I shot his leg, so he's still alive."

I let out a huge breath of relief. Thank god nothing too major happened. I mean it was just his leg not his head or anywhere that could've killed him.

I looked at Nate, he had his head down and his hands in his hair. I held his face and lifted it up so he was looking at me.

His eyes were glistening with what looked like tears and he looked like he had put on a few years of age. My heart sank as I took in his appearance. He had a few scars and bruises from his fight with Gerald which made him look even more heartbreaking. I just wanted to hold him and tell him everything is alright.

"It's okay Nate, it's just his leg. As long as he's alive." I told him softly and placed my hand on his cheek.

"But I still shot a man. Victoria I'm only 18 and I shot someone." He said, his tone soft and vulnerable.

I moved my hand from his cheek and placed both of my hands at the back of his neck, making our faces closer together.

"It's okay Nate, it's really okay. I promise. Nothing will happen." I whispered.

"But I could've killed him Victoria." He Said.

I shook my head. "But you didn't. Even if you had I would still love you, no matter what."

"But Vic..." He trailed off and his eyes slightly widened. "What did you say?"

Only when he said that I realised that I had just plainly said that I loved him.

Even though it felt like I should be pissed at myself for letting that slip, I somehow felt okay with it. It felt right.

"You heard right, I said I love you."

Without saying a word Nate crashed his lips onto mine.

I kissed him back without hesitation. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine. It's like every time he kissed me I forget about everything and become completely oblivious to the world.

We pulled back and he rested his forehead on mine, both our breathing slightly ragged.

He cupped my cheek with his forehead still against mine.

"Please tell me that you actually meant that." He whispered.

Did I do the right thing by telling him? Should I lie and say that I didn't mean it? No, that would just hurt him.

Oh fuck it. I already told him that I love him and now there's no going back.

I looked into his light brown eyes and I could feel my heartbeat picking up.

"I'm in love with you Nathaniel Elington."

His face lightened up at my words at my words and he pulled me into his embrace. His actions were so fast I didn't even notice his hand and forehead leave my face.

"Oh god Victoria, I've waited to hear that for so long." He said and held me tighter.

I chuckled. "It took me a very long time to realise it too."

Instead of answering he just kissed the top of my head, still holding me tightly.

"I love you too, more than anything sunshine." He said softly.

My head was against his chest and his arms around me. For a while my mind only focused on the two of us and I honestly felt happy; truly happy, until realisation hit me like a train.

I pulled away from him and unwrapped his arms from me.

My expression hardened. "It doesn't make a difference because you're leaving."

His happy expression turned to one of guilt and regret. I almost felt bad for ruining the moment.

"Fuck." He muttered and ran a hand through his hair.

Was that all he could say? Not a, 'I've changed my mind, I'll stay with you.'

"Come with me. We could attend a college over there together." He said hopefully.

That could have worked and we could've been together, but I couldn't go to that city. It haunted me. I never wanna go there ever again.

I shook my head. "I will never go back there. I lived a nightmare in there and I can't go back."

His hopeful expression faltered. "I'm sorry but I can't stay. It's too late."

"How the fuck is it too late?!" I found my voice raising at him.

He sighed. "Victoria, I already got accepted to a college in New York."

My heart sank at his words. So that was it, he was going to New York. Leaving for good, I'd never see him again. He was going away, leaving me.

"It's unfair Nate. Just when I realised that I love you, you leave? It's fucking unfair!" I yelled at him. "Everyone just leaves! First Gerald has left me and now you're leaving! You returned and made me fall in love with you all over again and now you're just leaving and pretending nothing happened?!"

I hadn't realised that I even started crying until Nate gently wiped my tears away with his thumb. I wanted to shove his hand away but I couldn't do it, I loved the feel of his skin on mine.

Honestly, I didn't know even know why I got so angry myself. Maybe everything was just building up from what's happened and I just snapped.

So much has happened, first drama with Gerald and Nate, then my parents return, Nate leaving and now what happened with Nate and his father. I mean what if he got hurt with that fucking gun by accident? I can't even stand the thought of something happening to him.

Nate continued to wipe the tears which were flowing down my cheeks and then he placed a long and gentle kiss on my forehead, which somehow made me cry harder.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry for leaving because that's not going to undo it and make me stay, after all it's just a word. And honestly, there's nothing I can say that'll make you feel better because words of comfort are temporary, once I leave they'll just remain words and you'll feel the same as you are now." He said softly.

Somehow I found my crying slowing down just from the sound of his voice; it comforted me.

I leaned my face into his hands, enjoying the feel of his warm, slightly rough palms on my face.

"It just sucks that's all."

He lightly chuckled at my words. "I think that's an understatement, sunshine."

I removed his hands from my face and left a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you Nate." I told him for the fourth time today.

He pulled me into his arms. "I love you too my sunshine." He whispered and kissed my head.

_____

This chapter was really hard to write and it's really crappy, but here's the update anyway. 

Lots of love,
Me! 💖