It was finally 6 pm and after a pretty boring afternoon, it was time to get dressed.

I walked to my closet and looked through my clothes, deciding what to wear. I remembered Gerald telling me to dress smart casual and looked through my dresses.

"I wonder why he wants me to dress up." I said to myself and shrugged.

I scanned through my dresses and decided to wear a black dress that Ashley bought for me a while ago.

It was a short, cutout dress which stopped by my mid thigh. It had lace in the centre part revealing a bit of skin on a part of my stomach, making it look like a cropped top and skirt.

I did my makeup lightly and only wore mascara and nude lipstick. I straightened my hair and put it up in a high ponytail.

After I was done I looked in the mirror and wasn't fully satisfied with my look. I opened up my hair and liked it better down, so I grabbed my hair brush, ran it through and left it down.

Looking once more at my reflection, I spun around to get a view of my whole body and was now fully satisfied.

I put on my black peep toe high heeled shoes, grabbed my phone and headed out.

I looked at the time on my phone and seen that it was fifteen minutes passed seven.

I walked to the living room and seen Gerald sitting on the sofa.

"How long were you waiting?" I asked him and he stood up approaching me.

He looked really good. He had a grey cardigan on with a collared shirt on the inside and he had a black chino kind pants.

"About ten minutes or so." He said and kissed my cheek and I smiled at him in return.

"You look amazing by the way." He grinned, looking at my body from head to toe.

"Speaking of, why did I have to dress up?" I asked, grabbed my cropped blazer and walked out the door.

He shrugged. "Just a fancy restaurant that has a dress code."

I furrowed my brows. "Why a fancy restaurant?" As the words fell out my mouth we had reached his car and I got in the passenger seat.

"Why so many questions?" He smirked and started his ignition.

"I can ask as many questions as I want."

"And I can answer the ones I want to." He winked.

I scowled at him and he just chuckled in return.

I turned my head and stared out the window. My thoughts drifting me away from my surroundings.

I started to think about what happened last night and my heart ached for Nate, he's only 18 and he has to go through so much. I wonder how he's doing?

I unlocked my phone and decided to text him.

Me: Hey! :)

I clicked send and Looked my phone not expecting an instant reply.

My phone buzzed like a minute later and my heart jumped like a 13 year old who got a text from her crush.

I shook my head at myself and opened the text,

Nate: Hey Sunshine, I was just about to text you but you beat me to it. ;)

He was gonna text me? I smiled like an idiot at my phone and typed a reply,

Me: Not my fault you're too slow, Elington.

"Something wrong?" Gerald asked me while my phone buzzed with another reply.

"Hmm? No nothing's wrong. Why?" I frowned.

"Well you're on your phone which is rare." He shrugged.

"So it's a crime for me to be on my phone?" I joked.

"Hey, I'm just asking." He said defensively and grinned.

I rolled my eyes and poked his cheek teasingly.

"You're going to untidy my beard." He complained.

"How can I untidy your beard, Ger?" I raised a brow at his ridiculousness.

"You're not a man so you won't understand."

"I'm not complaining about that. I happen to enjoy being a woman."

"Oh and I enjoy you being a woman too." He winked. I rolled my eyes at him and chuckled.

"Pervert." I muttered and he laughed.

I unlocked my phone and read Nate's text.

Nate: Not my fault that you can't stop thinking about me and my alluring voice, Aldaine. ;)

I scowled at his text even though he couldn't see me.

Me: One more time you say that, I am going to cut your balls off!

Nate: Damn girl you're violent! But I'll stop, I don't want you blushing now. ;)

I am going to kill him! I thought feeling annoyed at him.

Me: I'm not replying to you, jackass!

Nate: But you just did, Sunshine. ;)

I rolled my eyes at his text.

Me: You're annoying, do you know that?!

Nate: Awwww you know you love me.

My heart skipped a beat when I seen the word love, but after reading the whole text I shook my head at how ridiculous I was.

I locked my phone and decided not to reply, that should teach him to stop being an idiot.

"How far are we?" I asked Gerald.

"Hmmm...maybe about fifteen to twenty minutes." He said and looked at the time on his watch.

I was about to answer him but my phone buzzed again.

Nate: So you actually didn't reply this time, wow I'm shocked that you could actually resist my charm.

I rolled my eyes at his ego.

Me: Your ego is way too big!

Nate: Not my fault I'm hot. ;)
Anyway, I've wanted to ask you, are you doing anything sometime this week?

Me: I doubt it, why? Something wrong?

Nate: Well I need to go by my grandad and give him the gun. I don't want anything to do with it. So I was hoping you could come with? I'm pretty sure he'd be glad to see you again.

Two years ago in the summer Nate and I shared in New York I met his grandad who was the sweetest old man I'd ever met. I automatically took a liking to him and so did he towards me. He'd always say I was another one of his granddaughters.

Me: Yeah I would love to meet him again! :) Although, doesn't he live in New York?

Nate: No when I moved to California he did too.

Me: That's great! I would love to come! :) I liked your grandad, he was so sweet and kind.

Nate: Great! I'll let you know when I'm going!

Me: See you on Monday. :)

Nate: See you, Sunshine ;)

I smiled at his text and locked my phone.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked Gerald and leaned my head onto the headrest.

"A place."

I raised a brow. "What place?"

"A place with no name." He said and smirked.

I rolled my eyes and thought of Michael Jackson.

"And do you want me to keep it in the closet? And then remember the time?" I laughed.

"I was not punning on Michael Jackson, it was completely intentional." He defended and chuckled.

"But like seriously, where are we going?"

"Just be patient, we're almost there." He said looking straight ahead at the road.

"You know me and patience don't work together." I said and crossed my arms.

"We're like five minutes away, you can wait in that while." He shrugged.

"Well I know that we're going to a restaurant..." I mused and tapped my chin.

"That's all you know." He grinned.

"I know that it's fancy because of the way we're dressed."

"Victoria just be patient." He said in a stern tone.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." I said in a mocking tone.

After about five minutes we finally reached.

It was a fancy restaurant called: Sapore d'Italia.

"You know I love Italian food so you brought me to an Italian restaurant?" I grinned. I love how well he knew me and my love for Italian food.

"Yes, a very very prestige one." He said and got out of his car.

I opened my door and jumped out. Gerald stood outside my door and shook his head at me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Well I was about to open the door for you but you did it yourself and almost knocked my head off." He said with a light laugh.

"Too bad I never then." I joked.

He intertwined our fingers and we walked towards the restaurant.

As soon as we entered a waiter approached us.

"Good day, I am Geoffrey and I will be your waiter. Shall I get you a table for two?" A man asked in a sophisticated accent. He had dark skin and wore a tailcoat with formal pants and a bow tie.

"Hi Geoffrey. Actually, we will not be wanting a table. My name is Gerald Iver and I've made reservations for something." Gerald told him politely.

Reservations for what?

"Ahh yes, Mr. Iver I will assist you. Please do follow me." He and and gestured for us to follow him.

"Where are we going?" I asked Gerald while we walked.

"You'll see." He grinned.

So it's a surprise? That's odd for just a normal dinner. Or maybe it's not just a normal dinner...

"Gerald, is this a date?" I asked him seriously.

He didn't answer and just smirked at me instead.

Oh my god! This is a date! Fuck no! I don't want it to be a date. He knows that I don't want anything like that.

Gerald walked behind me and covered my eyes with his hands.

"Gerald-"

"Just trust me, Victoria." He said while leading me.

"Gerald, I really don't wanna do this..." I started but he shushed me.

I knew that arguing was futile so I just let it go.

He led me up a few stairs and a little more walking.

"Okay I'm going to let go now." He said and slowly removed his hands from my eyes.

I opened my eyes and seen that we were standing on the rooftop of the restaurant. I gasped at the beautiful view, it was overlooking the beach. The water was black and the lights were gleaming into it. It was completely and utterly beautiful.

"I knew you'd like the view." He grinned, looking at me.

"It's beautiful." I said softly, gazing at the beautiful view.

I could feel the cool breeze blowing against my face. I smiled to myself and inhaled the salty air.

Gerald walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder. I placed my hands onto his.

My smile faltered as soon as I realised what he was going to do.

"Gerald what is all this for?" I asked him softly.

"Victoria, I thought you would've figured out by now that this is a date."

"Why? Why did you take me on a date?" I asked him sharply.

He looked taken aback but quickly covered it. He dropped his arms from my waist and created a distance between us.

"Victoria, you know I have feelings for you, really strong feelings and I know you that you do feel the same about me, maybe not as strong but you do have feelings. Why can't you just stop pushing me away and let me love you?" He said and took a step closer to me.

"Victoria, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold your hand, and lastly I want you to be mine." He cupped my cheek.

I wanted to lean my face into his hand but I knew better, so I pushed his hand away from my face and shook my head at him.

"I don't want that, Gerald! I want us to stay the way we are, I don't want to get into a relationship and ruin what we have." I bellowed. I don't know why but I felt really angry at his words. I felt angry and betrayed. Betrayed because he very well knew that I did not want a relationship between us, I just wanted what we had to stay that way.

"What makes you think that if we date what we have will be ruined?" His said and his tone raised.

I laughed in irritation.

"How stupid can you be?! It's so obvious, if something bad happens in our relationship everything we've ever had would be over! Years of friendship would be ruined and I don't know about you but I'm not willing to risk that, Gerald! I've been through enough in my fucking life and I really don't want to lose you." I told him and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. Just the thought of losing him drive me insane.

"For fucks sake Victoria! Could you for once in your life stop fucking pushing me away. I'm sick of it! You flip like a fucking light switch, one time you're all good and with me and even sleeping with me and the next you push me away! I've had feelings for you for years and all you do is push me away and yet I still come back every fucking time." He yelled.

A few tears fell down my face but I quickly wiped them. I hated this, I hated the fact that he had feelings for me. I wasn't worthy for him. He deserves a girl who is like Ashley, sweet, kind, innocent and most importantly not damaged like I was.

His eyes softened when he seen my tears.

"Victoria, you can't tell me that don't feel anything for me. How about that night you stayed over my house and we had sex, didn't it mean something to you?" He asked softly.

Of course it meant something to me. Of course he meant something to me, but I couldn't tell him that; I couldn't risk ruining our friendship.

"That was a mistake, it should have never happened. I wish I could go back in time and undo that." I lied. I couldn't tell him the truth and let him know how much it meant to me.

Hurt flashed through his eyes but it quickly disappeared and instead his eyes were emotionless.

"If it meant nothing to you then why the fuck did you make me believe that it did? Because right now you're lying, Victoria. I know you are."

"Stop being in denial and just accept the fact that I don't love you in that way. Yes I do love you, Gerald, but not in that way." I told him firmly even though on the inside it felt like I was crumbling. I was lying to him, of course I had feelings for him I just push them away every time because I know if I let myself fall for him I'd somehow lose him.

He clenched his jaw and kicked a nearby chair. It fell to the ground with a thud; I cringed at the noise.

"Fuck Victoria! You are infuriating. I've loved you for years and all I've gotten in return was you pushing me away, I can't take it anymore! I've dealt with you for years and all I want is for you to love me as much as I love you but you just push me away like I'm some kind of clingy flea in your life." He shouted.

I felt myself getting angry at his words. I never once told him to deal with me! If he can't deal with me then why the fuck is he still here?!

"I'm infuriating?! If I'm so fucking infuriating then why the fuck are you still here?! Get out of my life! I've never once forced to stay, in fact I even remember telling you to back out of my life because I wasn't good enough, yet you still stayed!" I shouted and shoved his chest. I was angry and extremely emotional.

It was true, after my summer in New York I felt like I wasn't worthy enough for him to even look at so I had pushed him away and told him to leave.

"You want me to leave, do you? Then fine I'm fucking leaving." He said bitterly.

His words took me by shock. What did he mean by he's leaving?

"Wha-what do you m-mean?" I asked, my lips were trembling. My heart felt like it had ran a marathon.

"It means I'm done. I'm done with this friendship, I'm done with dealing with your shit and I'm done with you." He said and said 'you' with so much bitterness. It felt like my heart broke right there. Tears were freely rolling down my cheeks, but I barely noticed them. The only thing I could hear were his words in my mind.

"So that's it? 7 years of friendship? Just gone like that?" I asked him.

"Yeah and it's all your fault, if you hadn't pushed me away  none of this would've happened. I mean It's been two years and I still don't know what the fuck happened in New York that damaged you this badly. All you do is push me away and close off all your emotions from me. I'm done, Victoria" He spat. My heart felt like it had stopped beating.

7 years...7 years of friendship, done, gone. The one who got me through my bullying through middle school, the one who held me when I cried. He was leaving me, like a leaf flying away from a whitehead tree. My heard ached, it felt like he was taking a dagger and stabbing it multiple times into my chest.

Without saying another word I ran. My vision was extremely blurry but I ran as fast as my legs could take me.

My vision became so blurry that I could barely see and I tripped and fell onto something soft. I wiped my eyes and cleared my vision a little. I looked down and realised that I'd fallen on the beach sand and I was a few feet away from the ocean.

I pulled my knees up to my chin and started crying even harder. Gerald words kept on circling through my head and my heart ached every time I thought about it and it made me cry even harder.

I felt my phone vibrate and I shakily answered it.

"Gerald?" I asked hopefully.

"No it's me." I heard Nate's voice say. My heart sank.

I sobbed at his answer, disappointed that it wasn't Gerald.

"Are you crying?" He asked sounding concerned.

"N-no." I stuttered.

"What happened?" He asked sounding a little more angry this time.

I just ignored his question and continued to cry.

"Where are you?" He asked impatiently.

"Nate I'm fine." I told him and tried to sound like I was fine but I miserably failed.

"Victoria, if you don't tell me where the fuck you are I will send out a search party. I don't think you want that unnecessary attention, do you?" He threatened seriously.

I took a deep breath to steady my voice and told him where I was. Without saying a word he ended the call.

My crying had slowed down by now, but there were still a few tears rolling down.

I stared at the beach waves flow and it somehow seemed to calm me down a little. I closed my eyes and just sat there and listened to the peaceful sound of the ocean.

Once again I've lost another person dear to me. 10 years ago my grandfather, who was more like a father to me than my own father will ever be to me, died. 2 years ago I lost my brother who loved me dearly until recent events that caused him to hate me. And today I lost Gerald. I felt myself start to sob again until I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I jumped and seen that it was Nate and felt relived that it wasn't a thief or a murderer.

"Relax it's just me." He said and grabbed my hands and helped me up.

After I got up, he gently wiped away my tears.

His eyes hardened when he heard me sob.

"Who the fuck made you cry?! I swear to god that I will beat the son of a bitch to a pulp!" He said angrily and his jaw stiffened.

"Nate I told you I'm fine, you can leave." I said and sniffled.

His eyes softened when he seen me.

"You gotta be crazy to think I'd actually leave, angel." He said softly and stroked my hair.

I closed my eyes at his touch and for some reason I felt like crying even more. I tried my best to hold back my tears but it was futile, Gerald's words were still stuck in my head.

"7 years...for seven years we'd known each other and he just threw it away like a piece of garbage." I said and I could feel my voice cracking up.

"You're talking about Gerald, aren't you?" He asked and cupped my cheek.

I nodded and tears stared to stream down again. Nate wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.

"Shhh baby girl, it's okay." He soothingly whispered and stroked my hair while I sobbed in his arms.

"He left me Nate, he just left me." I sobbed.

He held me tighter and kissed the top of my head.

I cried until I felt like every teardrop in my body had dried up. Even after I had stopped crying Nate still held me tightly in his arms. His arms were warm and comforting, it felt like home.

After a while we broke apart and Nate gestured for us to sit down.

We both sat down next to each other on the sand. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned my head on him.

There was a comforting silence between us, the only sound was the waves drifting.

"You probably want to know what happened." I told him.

"Not if you don't want to talk about it." He said softly, his gaze was fixed on the ocean and so was mine.

I took a deep breath and started to explain everything.

After I finished explaining to him, he seemed angry but instead of snapping he just grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

"He's a fucking dick. He was lucky enough to have an amazing person like you in his life yet he's too fucking stupid to see that." He said.

"Amazing? How am amazing in any way? I'm damaged and fucked up. I'm so fucked up that I just ruined a 7 year old friendship that meant so much me." I said and chuckled humourlessly.

He gently lifted my head up from his shoulder and looked at me squarely. He still held my hand.

"Yes you are damaged, you're very damaged, but so am I Victoria. Things have happened to you that were out of your control, you couldn't stop it and because of everything that you went through you're damaged. When I first met you, you were like a beautiful tulip with the most beautiful and fragile petals, and because of what happened the few petals on the outside have dried up, but Victoria, if someone is smart enough to stay around and break away those dried out petals on the outside they will see the beautiful tulip that I..." He trailed off and ran his hands through his hair, "that I fell in love with." He whispered the last part.

My jaw opened slightly, I was a little shocked at his words. Sure he's told me that before but it's been two years since I've heard him say the 'L' word.

"It's impossible for someone to actually stick around long enough to find that tulip because all I do is push them away." I said softly and looked down at my knees.

He gently lifted my chin up with his thumb and index finger so I was looking at him in the eye.

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to find that tulip, sunshine. I always have."

"I pushed you away too, heck I even left the state." I said with a humourless smirk.

"But I came back, didn't I?"

He came back for me? I always just thought he moved here because he always loved California. I never once thought that he came here for me...

"You moved to California for me?" I asked a little startled.

"Of course I moved her for you, why else would I move here?" He chuckled.

"Then why did you pretend not to know me when we met?" I asked him.

"I told you that I will explain it to you later." He said and turned his gaze away from me and at the ocean instead.

I sighed and wasn't in the mood to argue so I just let it go.

"You left me and yet I still came here for you. All you did was not share everything with Gerald and not go out with him and he already gave up on you. If you ask me he's just a fucking coward who wants everything to go his way."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little offended by Nate calling him a coward, he may have hurt me but I still cared for him, but I just brushed it off.

"Nate I really don't want to talk about this right now, I've had enough for one night." I said and ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

Nate kissed my forehead and pulled me into his arms.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked and held me in his embrace. I could smell his cologne, which he always wore, and felt comforted by his familiar scent.

"Yeah, I really just wanna go under the covers and get some sleep." I told him.

"Okay." He said and unwrapped his arms from me.

We both stood up from the ground and walked towards his car.

The car ride home was quite except from the music playing softly. My mind kept on drifting to tonight's event and I felt that familiar ache in my heart. Gerald has never hurt me once and now that he has, it hurts more than anything.

Maybe he'll come around and things could go back to normal? Or maybe I could beg him to forgive me? What if he wants nothing to do with me? I thought and decided to try and call him when I got home.

"Victoria?" Nate said and broke my out of my reverie.

"Yeah?"

"We're at your house." He said and then I realised that the car ignition was off and that we were parked in my driveway.

"Sorry. I got lost in my thoughts."

"I could see that, Sunshine." He said with a small grin.

I forced a small smile at him.

"You look exhausted, lets get you upstairs." He said and stroked my cheek.

We both got out the car and walked inside my house.

"You know I can walk to my bedroom myself, right?" I told when I seen that he was following me up to my room.

"Yes I do know that, but I want to make sure you actually do sleep instead of drowning yourself in grief."

Back in New York, whenever I felt sad and drowned myself in grief Nate would always make sure that I would let it all out and try to get over it instead of crying my eyes out.

"Like old times?" I raised a brow.

"Exactly like that, sunshine."

"Fine, you can stay as long as you want." I shrugged and opened the door to my room.

I walked in my room and walked to my closet to get my pjs while Nate sat on my bed. Usually I would sleep with just a sweatshirt but since Nate was here I wore shorts with it. I walked into my bathroom to change into my pyjamas.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and cringed. My makeup was all washed out, my cheeks had a few mascara stains on it but most of it was wiped off, my lipstick was smudged and my hair was, surprisingly, still neat. I washed my face and tied up my hair in a pony tail. I took my dress off and changed into my pyjamas. I decided to leave my bra on because it'll be weird to walk out with no bra when Nate was in the same room.

"See I'm ready to sleep." I said and pointed at my pyjamas after I walked out.

"I'll only be satisfied once you're in the covers and I can hear your steady breathing and know that you're sleeping." He smirked.

I wanted him to leave so I could call Gerald and I knew he wouldn't allow me to.

Wait what? I don't need his permission to call anyone. I'll still call him.

I looked for my phone, which I left on my bedside pedestal when I walked in and couldn't find it. Nate! He must've taken it.

"Give me my phone." I demanded from him  and extended my hand out.

"For?" He asked and confirmed that he had my phone.

"Nate I'm really not in the mood for arguing right now, so just give it to me." I said tiredly.

"So you can phone Gerald?" He raised his brows.

"Yes." I said with a sigh.

"I'm not going to let you do that. He was the one who fucked up so he should be the one to call you." He said hotly.

"Nate please," I begged, "I won't be able to to rest in peace if I don't try to at least once try to get things to normal."

"Fine, but only once and I get to make the call not you."

I wanted to make the call myself but I knew I wouldn't get anywhere with him.

"Fine." I huffed.

He unlocked my phone and called Gerald's number and put it on speaker. 

My heart rate picked up. I nervously bit my lip and waited for something to happen.

"You have reached the mailbox of..." My heart sank in my chest as soon I heard his voicemail.

"See? Voicemail, and the last I checked your phone doesn't go on voicemail after about three rings which means he fucking declined your call." He said and tossed my phone on my bed. 

I should've known that he wouldn't answer. I shook my head at myself, sat on my bed and frustratedly threw my phone on my pedestal.

I got under the covers in my bed and rested my head on my headboard.

"See I'm ready to sleep now! So you can leave." I said in a snappy tone to Nate, who was just annoyingly standing opposite my bed.

He sat on the edge of my bed on the side I was sleeping on and stroked the few odd strands of hair that fell out of my ponytail and on my face.

"I told you I'm not leaving until you fall asleep, sunshine." He whispered. I looked at him and regretted snapping at him.

I shifted and gave him more space to sit. He sat on the extra space I gave him but it wasn't fully enough for him as his body was muscular which meant that his body was pressed against mine. I didn't wanna shift up and give him more space because I liked the feeling of his body pressed against mine.

He pulled my head into his chest and I willingly rested it there. He wrapped his arms around me and and I snuggled closer to him, inhaling his comforting scent.

"Nate?" I said softly.

"Hmmm?" He said and stroked my back.

"Thank you for being there for me when I needed you most. I'm not just talking about toady, but for all those times you were there. Thank you." I whispered.

"I will always be here for you, sunshine. Always." He said and pulled me closer.

I felt a genuine smile creep onto my face and closed my eyes.

After a while I fell asleep in his warm arms and felt a lot better than I did earlier on. It felt like old times, when I was alone and sad In New York Nate would always hold me in is arms and comfort me and since then he's had a special place in my heart.

I felt a soft kiss on my head before I fell into oblivion.

_______