This is set in the past!!

Trigger warnings : Mentions of self harm, suicide, alcohol abuse, bullying

The day after Sebastian told Andy about Remington's past, the boy invited himself into Andy's house with his key and was sitting in the living room licking Nutella from a spoon, jar in hand.

"And here I was thinking I'd been burgled," Andy joked when he arrived home and the door was unlocked. "Good day?"

Remington shrugged. "Could have been better," he said. "I know Sebastian told you."

"Oh..."

"Why do you look guilty?"

"Do you...want me to know?" He was sitting in an armchair and untying his laces.

Remington dipped the spoon into the jar. "What exactly did he tell you?"

"He said you had some bad friends, they bullied you, you started...hurting yourself, they pulled you from school. That was the gist of it."

"So not the other part?"

"What other part?"

He shrugged and looked at Andy. "I guess they never found out that bit, then."

"What're you talking about?" Andy stood up, took his shoes into the porch. Then he sat down beside Remington and said, "you didn't attempt suicide, did you?"

Remington didn't answer. He put the spoon in his mouth.

Andy watched him, brows furrowed. "You did?" He asked sadly. "Love, when?"

"Coffee?"

"Sure, wait here. I just got some more capsules for the machine that I keep forgetting to buy capsules for. Do you want that?"

"Fancy coffee? You bet."

"Okay, won't be long."

"Andy?"

"Mhm?"

"Thanks for the key."

"You're welcome, but if you throw a party here without me, I'll change the locks."

Remington thanked him for the coffee when he returned, sipping it and then saying, "the night I got alcohol poisoning. Sebastian mentioned that?"

Andy nodded. "Yeah. They found you passed out and took you to hospital."

"Well..." He looked at the coffee. "That was a strange night. My friends, they were planning to get hammered. They were all underage but that didn't matter, they had fake ID's. I did, too. Everyone had one at some point, though, right?"

"Sure," Andy said. "I know I did."

"They didn't actually invite me out that evening, but I knew where they were going 'cause they'd been talking about it all week in school. I told myself they wanted me to overhear. I guess I didn't wanna admit that really, they didn't like me and didn't want me around. To be honest, no one did." He sighed. "When they saw me there, they were mean. They were always mean." He laughed but it wasn't with humour. "I was beat up outside a bar and left there. They went somewhere else without me."

"Jesus."

"Then I went inside and used my fake ID to get drinks. I downed shot after shot until I couldn't see straight, but that didn't stop me. I decided there was no point in going home again, no one wanted me around. My mum was controlling, my brothers just kept hassling me, begging me to stop. They didn't want me or love me so there was no point." He shook his head and continued. "I drank until I was sick. I knew what alcohol poisoning was because we'd been told about it in school. I knew it could kill you, so I kept drinking. The more alcohol, the better."

"Oh, love."

"I don't remember exactly when I passed out, but I remember being sick and that my heart felt weird. I couldn't breathe normally and It felt like I was dying and that was good. I was happier then than I'd been in years, because I knew it would finally be the end of all the hurt. I needed it to end." He looked at Andy. "I never told anyone. I let them believe it was my friends, that they got me drunk because they were mean. It's easier for them to believe that than to know that I hated my life so much I wanted to end it. If they knew that..."

"It would have broken them," Andy finished.

Remington nodded. "I cared about them. They didn't think I did, but I cared. I didn't want to hurt them, I just...I was trying so much to cry for help but no one listened. I cut myself and all they did was pulled me from school. I wanted help, Andy. I wanted to know they cared enough to help me, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like they were more worried about how our family's reputation would be damaged than how I felt, and I felt invisible. You've no idea how invisible I felt."

"You know they cared," Andy said. "Sebastian was worried sick about you."

"They were constantly grounding me and yelling at me and telling me I was doing everything wrong, it didn't feel that way." He sipped the coffee. "No one knows what really happened that night. Everyone has different versions of the story, but none of them are the truth. No one knows, Andy, no one but you."

"Thank you for trusting me."

"When you talked to me at the beach, I felt noticed. After everything, I couldn't let that go."

"I'm glad I could help."

"No, Andy. You didn't just help, you saved me. You were the first person to give me independence, to listen to me, to actually show me you cared."

"I can imagine how much that meant to you."

"Yes, it meant everything. It still means everything." He smiled. "And when you gave me a key...no one has ever trusted me that way before. And no one has ever given me a place as safe as this house feels. As safe as you feel. I don't wanna die anymore and you should know that it's because of you."

"That's so good to hear."

"You're the first person who actually cared, and before you knew about everything. I love you for that, and for everything else."

"And I love you, too. For everything. But mostly for your dashing fashion sense. What is this?"

Remington giggled. "I hope you like it because I bought it with your card."

"Mm, I know."

He grinned and picked up the Nutella. "Thanks for always listening to me."

"You're welcome, love. I'm always here to listen to you."

"Something you will come to regret."