CHAPTER 24: PROPOSITION

SORCHA'S POV

Gusto ko ng umupo. Hindi ko talaga ma-appreciate ang paggala sa mga mall. Kung may gusto kasi akong bilhin ay pwede naman akong umorder online. Or if I really have to go to the mall, I go straight to the store where I need to buy something and then I go back home.

Hindi ko kasi talagang ugali na magpalakad-lakad at magtingin-tingin lang na parang naghahanap ng inspirasyon kung saan ko gagastahin ang pera ko.

Nakabili na ako para sa garden ko, nakadaan na ako sa grocery store, and I even bought a new dress for work. Nalagay ko na rin lahat ng mga iyon sa sasakyan pero hindi pa rin natatapos sa kailangan niyang gawin ang taong hinihintay ko.

Should I just stay in the car? I brush off the idea. Sayang ang gas. Ang mahal pa naman ngayon no'n.

Naglakad na lang ako papunta sa malaking bookstore na nadaanan ko kanina. I don't think I have time to read pero kung mag wi-window shopping na lang din ako ay doon na lang sa lugar na hindi ko kailangang makipagsiksikan sa mga tao.

Nang makarating doon ay nagtingin-tingin muna ako. Iniwasan ko ang mga nagkukumpulan na mga kabataan na kilig na kilig habang iniikutan nila ang hawak ng isa na libro. Lalagpasan ko na sana sila nang mapansin ko na pamilyar sa akin ang hawak nila. It's one of the Dagger Series books.

With a small smile on my face, I headed for the stationery section. Kumuha ako ng maramiraming mga ballpen doon dahil lagi na lang nauubos ang sa akin. Panay hiram kasi ang mga katrabaho ko mga hindi naman marunong magbalik.

I also took a box of cute pens that Khione happened to like and a few Marvel-inspired pens since Arcane likes superhero movies.

Nang matapos ako ay binayaran ko kaagad iyon bago pa humaba ang pila. A bookstore can be quiet at one moment and chaotic at the next.

Nang matapos magbayad ay nagdesisyon akong magtingin-tinign muna. I went to the romance-action section when I saw that the student I saw earlier was no longer there. Inayos ko ang mga libro na nandoon at pagkatapos ay nilagay ko sa harapan ang mga libro ni Lucienne.

"Dapat bigyan ka ng raise ng mga boss mo."

Nilingon ko ang nagsalita at napataas ang kilay ko nang makita ko si Daze na nakatayo sa likod ko. He's wearing a black hoodie, which wasn't what he was wearing earlier, a bull cap, and a black mask. Di kalayuan sa amin ay nakatayo si Pike at Warrick sa pintuan ng bookstore na abalang iginagala ang mga paningin nila a paligid. Wala kasi si Kuya Nevan dahil may meeting siya sa Dagger.

"Sabihin ko ba?"

I turned to Daze. "Ang alin?"

"Na bigyan ka ng raise?"

"Kung bibigyan pa nila ako ng raise baka pwede na rin akong maging isa sa mga head ng Dagger."

Dumaan ang pagkagulat sa mga mata niya. "Ganoon kalaki ang sweldo mo?"

Nagkibit ako ng balikat. Usually, everyone has their own specialization. Their focus may be on ballistics, pathology, toxicology, chemistry, DNA analysis, odontology, anthropology, crime scene investigation, and trace evidence analysis. But I'm like an all-around forensic scientist that they can use in any kind of case. Malaking sweldo, malaking responsibility.

"Pwede na pala akong hindi magtrabaho. Buhayin mo na lang ako," biro ni Daze.

"Kapag hindi mo ako tinigilan, kabaligtiran niyan ang mangyayari."

"Ikaw ang bubuhayin ko? Pwede naman. Kailan ba ang kasal? Ngayon na ba?" Umakto siya na parang nahihiyang dalaga. "I'm not prepared."

Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata. "Pwede ka ng hindi magtrabaho kasi papatayin na kita. Iyon ang ibig kong sabihin." Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga. "Tapos na ba ang dapat mong gawin? Pwede na ba tayong umuwi?"

I don't know how he convinced me to come. Kahit ang pinaka-persuasive na tao ay hindi ako kayang kumbinsihin kung hindi ko gustong magpakumbinsi. Pero kay Daze? Sa sobrang kulit niya parang gugustuhin mo na lang na pagbigyan siya para tumigil na siya.

May photoshoot kasi siya sa isa sa mga store na nandito sa mall na kinaroroonan namin. Despite the issues surrounding him, the brand didn't drop him like I know some of his sponsors did that first day that the news came in. Iyong panahon na hindi pa naman naririnig ang side niya at kung ano ba talaga ang totoong nangyari. Now he knows which brands he should keep.

"Hindi ka ba bibili ng libro?" tanong niya.

"Hindi."

"Kahit isa? Choose one and I'll buy it for you."

I decided not to point out that I could buy it myself if I wanted to. Hahaba lang ang usapan pero sa huli masusunod pa rin ang gusto niya. He's like a spoiled golden retriever.

Sinundan niya ako nang maglakad ako papunta sa ibang section at basta ko na lang kinuha ang nakita ko roon na naka-display.

"Do you even like mythology?" he asked when I gave him the book. It's an illustrated book by Edith Hamilton.

"Kind of. Parehas kami ni Kuya Nevan na kinukuwentuhan ng parents namin about sa mythology."

Binuklat niya ang libro. "What do you like about it? Si Zeus?" Pumalatak siya. "That one is a ladies' man. You shouldn't be around people like that. You'll get a headache and heartache."

Imbis na sagutin siya ay pinakatitigan ko lang siya na para bang sinasabi sa kaniya na pakinggan niyang mabuti ang mga salitang kabibitaw pa lang niya. Mukha namang na-gets niya iyon dahil napanguso siya. "Hindi ako playboy."

"Yeah, right."

"I'm being honest!" He placed a hand on top of his heart. "I dated a lot of women in the past, but I never went out with two people at once."

May parang pumitik sa sentido ko. Dated a lot of women? Eh di wow. "Wala akong pakielam."

Tinalikuran ko siya at naglakad ako papunta sa cashier kung saan namataan kong marami na ang nakapila. Pero bago makarating doon ay nagawa akong habulin ni Daze na inabot ang kamay ko. He laced his fingers with mine as if it were the most natural thing to do.

"Ang misis ko naman masyadong selosa. They're all in the past. You're my present and my future."

Sinubukan kong hilahin ang kamay ko pero hindi niya ako pinakawalan. "Let go."

"Ayaw."

Pinanlakihan ko siyang mga mata. "Gusto mong dito na matigil ang present mo at maglaho ang future mo?"

Tumawa lang siya pero hindi niya pa rin ako binitawan. Lord, alam ko pong kahihingi ko lang ng pasensya pero please bigyan Niyo po ako ulit.

"So? Bakit gusto mo ng mythology?" tanong niya ng makapila na kami.

"It's interesting."

"What do you like about it?" he asked, repeating the same question he had just moments ago.

I sighed. "Si Hestia."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Who's that?"

Hindi na nakakapagtakang hindi niya alam. Out of all the six children of Chronus, Hestia has the most quiet life. "She's the goddess of the hearth."

"What does she do?"

"She tends the hearth, and she stays away from drama."

Umangat ang sulok ng mga labi niya. "That's why you like her."

Nagkibit ako ng mga balikat. "She has her own world, and as a child who would rather be on her own, I relate more to her. That's our only similarity, though. I'm cold, and she's warm."

Inangat niya ang magkahawak namin na mga kamay at sa pagkagulat ko ay hinalikan niya ang likod ng palad ko. "You feel pretty warm to me."

Dati pasensya ko lang ang walang pahinga pagdating kay Daze. Ngayon pakiramdam ko pati ang puso ko nag o-overtime na rin.

My heart has always been steady. Even anger couldn't make it function harder than normal. And yet nowadays, it keeps getting put into situations that it can't handle.

There must be scientific explanations for all of this. I can't deny now that he's not only attractive, but he's also attractive in my eyes. The kind that affects me. I've been around attractive people, and yet I don't react the way I find myself reacting around Daze.

His words and his actions are causing disturbances in my system. Ibig lang sabihin niyon ay malakas ang chemistry namin. That happens to some people. It doesn't mean that I have to be in love just to have that kind of strong connection.

It's just physical chemistry. What I'm feeling is probably the result of the result of a combination of biological and psychological factors. And there's a way to make the intense pull go away.

"Why do you look like that?"

"Like what?" I asked.

Niyakap niya ang libro sa sarili niya na para bang birhen siya na pinoprotektahan ang puri niya. "I don't know. Pakiramdam ko lang may masama kang balak sa akin."

I just stared at him, and his eyes started to widen when I didn't deny what he said. What can I say? I really was thinking of doing bad things—not to him, but with him.

Tinalikuran ko na siya bago pa siya may mabasang kung ano sa akin. "Pay that. I need to call someone."

"Who?"

"My gynecologist."

"What? Why?"

Imbis na sagutin siya at tinapunan ko lang siya ng tingin. "You probably should call your own doctor too."

Nalaglag ang panga niya nang para bang maintindihan niya ang ibig kong sabihin. It's only fair. Lagi niya na lang ginugulat ang sistema ko kaya ngayon ay siya naman ngayon ang dapat makaramdam no'n.

"Red, come back! Let's talk about marriage first!"

Marriage? I don't need that to make this feeling go away. Sex is the only acceptable answer.

SALUBONG ang kilay na tinignan ko ang halos isang punong sako ng mga regalo na ibinaba ng kapatid ko sa harapan ko. Kasunod niya si Daze na tinataguan ko mula pa kahapon dahil ayokong sagutin ang mga tanong niya tungkol sa sinabi ko sa kaniya noong nasa bookstore pa kami.

"What's this?" I asked my brothers.

"Mga regalo kay Daze. We already scanned them for anything dangerous, and they're all safe."

"Eh bakit niyo dinala dito?"

Nginuso niya si Daze na kumaway pa sa akin. "Gusto niya raw na dito buksan tutal ay dito rin naman niya kailangang pumunta. Usually ang manager niya kasi ang nagbubukas."

"Why?" I glance at Daze. "Pinagkagastusan iyan ng mga fan mo tapos hindi mo i-a-appreciate?"

Napakamot sa ulo ang lalaki. "That's not why. Jeremiah just wants to separate the things that I rather not deal with."

"Like what?"

"Like nude photos."

Napakurap ako habang ang kapatid ko ay lumapit sa sako na para bang na-curious. I throw a pillow on his face before he can grab anything from it.

Tinuro ko ang sako at nilingon ko si Daze. "Buhatin mo 'yan. May gagawin tayo."

Nang marinig ko ang pagsinghap niya ay nilingon ko siya. Yakap na naman niya ang sarili niya na parang eskandalong eskandalo siya. "Anong gagawin mo sa akin?"

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata. Walang nakakaalam sa nangyari sa bookstore dahil wala namang nakarinig kundi ang mga taong nakapila lang na magbabayad. Pike and Warrick were guarding the door for them to hear our conversation.

"We're going to do forensic testing using those!" I hissed. "That's what you came here for, remember? Gusto mo bang matuto o hindi?"

Ngumuso siya. "Sorry po. Ito na po susunod na." Bitbit ang mga iyon na sinundan niya ako sa processing room. "So why are we doing this aside from the fact na nagseselos na naman ang misis ko?"

Binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin. "If there are nude photos in there, you should know where they are coming from so you can stop them from sending anything more. Paano kung minor iyon o may asawa?"

"Which is why I don't open the gifts first. It happened before."

"Anong ginawa ni Jeremiah sa photos?"

"Pinasunog ko sa kaniya. I don't want to risk the possibility of them falling into the wrong hands."

That's... that's pretty admirable, honestly. "That is what we're going to do here today as well."

"Hindi talaga dahil sa nagseselos ka?"

Nangigigil na pinagkrus ko ang mga braso ko. "At bakit naman ako magseselos?"

"You basically proposition me in the middle of a bookstore. That means..." He gestured himself with his hands. "You want some of this goodness."

I blinked at him slowly. "Nagbago ng isip ko."

"Huwag!" Tumikhim siya nang tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay. "I just... shouldn't we talk about establishing a relationship first before going to that kind of... umm... discussion?"

"I'm too busy to have a relationship."

"I don't think that doing that is a good idea if it's just for the sake of doing that."

"You never had sex just for sex? Is that what you are saying? I highly doubt that, Henderson."

His cheeks became red. "That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that I don't want to just have that with you. I want more."

"And I can't give more."

"Pwede naman akong maghintay—"

"It will be a waste of time," putol ko sa sasabihin niya. "It's either that or nothing else."

His face became serious. "Sorcha, it's wrong for me to take advantage."

"Why would you be taking advantage? I was the one who proposed it. It's only taking advantage if I don't want it."

Natigilan siya. "So... you want it?"

"I suggested it, didn't I?"

His lips parted, but no words came out of them. He seems stunned, like I just scrambled his brain and he couldn't function.

Napailing ako. "Stop thinking about it. We have a lot of testing to do."

"Is it just a test for you? You wanting to share that with me?" he asked instead of dropping the subject.

"Maybe." Sinalubong ko ang tingin niya. He's not the only one confused here. But right now, that is the only thing I'm ready to face. That is the only thing that I think I can handle, and the only thing that I think can make all this confusing feeling go away. "That's what I like to find out."

________________________End of Chapter 24.