CHAPTER 19: STRESS

SORCHA'S POV

Gumising ako ng maaga para makapagdilig ako bago ako magluto ng breakfast. Halos pikit pa ang mga mata ko dahil kamumulat lang talaga ng mga mata ko. I feel like I've been neglecting my plants. They need some bonding time with their Mama.

Mandalas kasi ay talagang kinakausap ko muna ang mga halaman ko. Pero nitong mga nakaraan ay lagi akong nagmamadali. Kung hindi kasi ako busy ay may bwisita naman.

"You're lucky to be born as plants, babies. Walang sakit ng ulo na mga lalaki."

The breeze made the plants sway, and it made them seem like they were nodding at me.

"Kaya sa next life niyo, ask to be reborn as plants again. You make the world a better place. Huwag niyong hihilingin na maging kauri ng Daze na 'yon. You don't want to make the world an annoying place like he does."

"I like your consistent personality, Red. 24/7 ka talagang masungit, 'no? That's what makes you adorable."

Nanigas ang buong katawan ko nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses. No. I'm just hearing things. I'm just traumatized, and this is just a flashback of some sort.

"Pero ang pinakamahalaga ay nasa isip mo ako mapagabi man o umaga."

No, no, no. Nahihintakutang nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses. Muntik kong mabitawan ang hawak ko na garden hose nang ang bumangad sa akin si Daze na mukhang kaaahon lang sa swimming pool.

He looks like a Greek god that descends from Olympus, with the sun that is starting to peek from the sky acting like his personal spotlight and the droplets of water running down his body making his skin glisten.

Kitang-kita ko ang malapad niya na dibdib na minsan ko ng ginawang unan. He's only wearing black board shorts that are riding low, making the V of his defined, narrow waist visible to my eyes.

"I think your plants are drowning. And if you don't stop looking, something in my pants will start growing."

My eyes snapped up and my gaze met Daze's that were sparkling with mischief. Gumapang kaagad ang init sa mukha ko at wala sa sariling naitaas ko ang kamay ko na may hawak na garden hose. Dahil na sa kabilang fence lang siya ay sapul siya sa mukha ng tubig niyon.

Ang masama ay mukhang may sasabihin pa sana siya dahil nakabuka ang bibig niya. Hindi na nga lang niya nasabi iyon dahil dirediretsong pumasok ang tubig sa nakabukas niyang mga labi.

Sunod-sunod siyang napaubo at napapitlag na iniwas ko sa kaniya ang hose. Pinatay ko iyon habang si Daze naman ay tinatapik-tapik ang dibdib niya para marahil ilabas ang tubig na sapilitan pero hindi sinasadiyang napainom ko sa kaniya.

I should feel guilty, but I'm not.

Lumabas mula sa bahay niya ang kapatid ko na mukhang narinig ang ingay namin. "Sorchie, stop torturing the client. Baka pangit na review ang ibigay niyan sa akin. He's my first solo case after all."

Bumuka ang mga labi ni Daze para sumingit sa usapan pero inangat ko ang kamay ko sa direksyon niya. "Shh!" I turned to my brother when Daze pressed his lips together, a hint of a smile playing on the corners of them. "What... what's happening? Bakit nandito ang golden retriever na 'yan? I thought he'd stay in a safe house?"

Kuya Nevan pointed to his shoulder with his thumb. "That's the safe house."

"Ang dami-daming bahay sa mundo. The Dawson's are good at finding properties. Bakit dito?"

"Hindi niya naman kailangan lumayo lalo pa at may agreement pa siya sa Dagger regarding shadowing you. Mahigpit ang security dito sa lugar natin kaya hindi makakapasok ang mga paparazzi, so that's a plus."

Inismiran ko si Daze na tumatango-tango sa sinasabi ni Kuya.

"Mahigpit din ang security sa bahay niyan."

My brother shrugged. "Pero mas malapit tayo sa Dagger kesa sa bahay niya kaya mas convenient na manggaling siya dito. Saka hindi alam ng mga fan niya ang lugar na 'to kaya hindi sila mag-a-attempt na pasukin. He's paying a lot in security because of it, you know? Lagi kasing may nag vi-vigil sa labas ng subdivision nila. Ilang beses na rin na may nagtangkang pasukin sila. Adding to that, there are some that even fly their drones just to get a glimpse of him."

I crossed my arms and harrumphed.

Inginuso ng kapatid ko si Daze. "What's happening is already taxing for him. As your brother's first solo case that he doesn't want to mess up, can we make the duration of the investigation less stressful for the client?"

Nangongonsensya siya. I know that, Daze knows that, my brother knows that. Kung kay Daze lang ay wala sa akin ang magmukhang walang puso. But this is my brother talking, and I can't be as heartless to him. I'm required not to dahil isusumbong niya ako kila mama.

Nakasimangot na nilingon ko si Daze nang magtaas siya ng kamay. "What?" asik ko.

"What's for breakfast?"

Argh!

PINAGMASDAN ko ang kapatid ko at si Daze na parang hindi na ata umuunat sa pagkakaupo dahil parang mga taong ginutom sa mahabang panahon na bigay todo sila sa pagkain. I made my favorite comfort food and they're the one being comforted.

I made a Croque Monsieur which is a French ham and cheese sandwich. Hindi lang simpleng ham at saka cheese na ipinalaman iyon sa tinapay. It's covered and filled with cheese. It has gruyere, parmesan, and béchamel sauce. It doesn't end there, though. It's my comfort food since I add a Filipino and Irish twist to it by mixing some Kilmeaden mature red and Eden cheese with the already cheesy ensemble.

"This..." Namumualan ang bibig na tinuro ni Daze ang sandwich. "This should be in a restaurant."

I felt a flutter inside me at his compliment. "It's just a simple sandwich."

"Peanut butter sa pandesal ang simple na sandwich sa akin."

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Kumakain ka ng peanut butter sa pandesal?"

"Oo naman. Sinasawsaw ko pa sa kape." Nang mag-angat siya ng tingin ay napansin niyang nakatitig ako sa kaniya. "I have lived here since I was seventeen, Red. I might have problems with deep Tagalog words, and I sometimes have trouble with pronunciation, but I've been here in this country for a long time."

He's right. Minsan kahit nagsasalita siya ng Tagalog ay may tono iyon na hindi pangkaraniwan sa mga taong Tagalog talaga ang native language. "But your grandparents were rich. Aren't you more used to luxury breakfast?"

He scoffed. "My grandparents might be rich, but they're very... what do you call it? Kuripot? Kaya nga hindi nakakapagtaka na lumago ang business nila ng sobra. They always tell me that their first ancestors weren't rich. They were traders who only had enough to live on. But they worked hard and used their money wisely. That's why the generation after theirs has what they have now. Kung hindi raw pahahalagahan ng mga henerasyon ang pera na pinapamana sa kanila ay mawawala raw ang pinagharapan ng lahat."

"But it ended with you, right?" My brother asked thoughtlessly. "Since they sold the business and gave you the money—aray!"

Pinanlakihan ko ng mga mata ang kapatid ko at napakamot siya sa ulo niya. Minsan kasi talaga walang preno ang bibig niya.

"I told my grandparents not to sell the business, but they didn't want to tie me down just to keep the tradition of having a long line of businessmen going. Sila kasi mga interesado talaga sa business. But I like the arts more, and I always wanted to act." Natigilan siya at may kung anong nagdaan sa mga mata niya. "There was a time that I wanted to give up that dream. Alam nila iyon. I was ready to take on their responsibility, but my grandparents knew what I really wanted, and to push me to it, they sold their business and left me with the money." A wistful smile colored his lips that for a moment my heart ached because of it. "They told me that the tradition wasn't the business. It's making sure that the next generation will grow the money so that it can be passed down, ensuring the future of all our generations. So that none of us will experience what our first ancestor did."

"They... they seem to be great people," I told him sincerely.

"They are. They taught me everything I know." Lumawak ang ngiti niya. "Sa kanila ko rin namana ang tigas ng ulo ko dahil nang makuha ko ang pinamana nila sa akin ay binawi ko kaagad ang kaya kong mabawi sa binenta nilang negosyo."

"I didn't know that," my brother muttered. "Wala sa file mo sa Dagger."

"I thought it's irrelevant anyway. It's registered in my name, but I'm using a different name to operate the business."

"What kind of business?" I asked him.

"Transportation and logistics. The company basically handles customs brokerage, freight forwarding, maritime shipping, warehousing and distribution, supply chain management, and I added the operation of same-day delivery services since they're on demand right now and yacht charter and transport." Bakas siguro sa mga mukha namin ng kapatid ko ang pagkamangha dahil napangisi siya. "I'm not just all beauty, guys. Beauty and brains din 'to."

I rolled my eyes. "Pwede ka rin sigurong pumasok sa furniture business."

"Bakit?"

"Ang galing mong magbuhat ng sarili mong bangko eh."

Kuya Nevan let out an "oooh" as if we're a bunch of teenagers engaged in a verbal sparring match.

"Bakit mo pala naisipang ipagpatuloy ang business niyo kung okay lang naman sa grandparents mo na hindi mo na ituloy?" tanong pagkaraan ni Kuya Nevan.

"I know that they're concerned about me. They want me to fulfill my dreams. They believed in me, you know? But I also don't want to lose something that they worked hard for. While they believed in my dreams, I also believed in theirs. Kaya binawi ko." Nagkibit-balikat siya na para bang hindi mabigat ang bagay na ibinahagi niya sa amin. "Isa pa ay kung titignan, late na ako sa industry. I didn't know if I could make a career out of acting, and if I did, I don't know how long it would last. Kaya mabuti na rin iyong meron akong ibang source of income."

When I first met him, he seemed to be the typical shallow, famous person. Hindi naman kasi iyon uncommon sa mundong kinabibilangan niya. I've met a lot of popular people through my work at Dagger, and the wives of my bosses feel like rare individuals. Dahil mas lamang ang mga taong superficial.

Being around Daze made me have a glimpse of the "more" in him, and now this only confirms it. And I don't know what to do with that.

"You said you operate the business under a different name. What name did you use?" my brother asked.

"Oh that. I used my brother's name. Grant Henderson."

NALUKOT ang mukha ko nang may humarang sa tinitignan ko. Inis na nag-angat ako ng tingin pero kaagad nalusaw ang lalabas sana sa akin na kasungitan nang ang bumungad sa akin ay ang nakangiting mukha ni Lucienne Dawson.

I'm currently at The Dawson's Nook again. Dito kasi nag-aya si Daze dahil nabudol siya ni Ma'am Mireia. The retired supermodel told him that TDN's house specials today are all Australian food.

Bagay na pakiramdam ko ay sinadiya nila para manlibre ulit si Daze. Pagpasok kasi namin ay may mga naghihintay ng empleyado ng Dagger na parang ready ng magpalibre. Game na game naman ang isang 'yon na parang tinanggap na ang kapalaran niyang ma-holdap dito sa TDN.

"Hi! Pwedeng umupo dito?" tanong niya na humila na ng upuan bago ako makasagot.

"Umm... opo."

Para bang close na close kami na tumabi siya sa akin at pagkatapos ay tinawag niya ang pangalan ni Daze na napalingon sa direksyon namin. "Isang house special saka unicorn cupcake. Samahan mo na rin iced coffee. Alam na ni Mireia kung anong gusto ko."

Daze looked... well, dazed, at the woman's confidence. Walang salitang bumaling siya kay Mireia na ngingisi-ngisi lang na mukhang dinadagdagan na ang binibili niya.

"So kamusta naman ang life, Sorcha?" tanong ni Lucienne. "Hindi ka pa naman nagkakaroon ng migraine sa stress?"

I glanced at Daze quickly. "Malapit na po."

"You know, I call that nowadays love stress. The kind of stress that you don't exactly hate."

"I-I'm not in love with him."

"I'm not talking about being in love." Kuminang ang mga mata niya at umangat ang sulok ng mga labi niya. "I'm wondering, though, why the word "love" caught your attention more than anything else in what I said."

Kumabog ang dibdib ko at bumuka ang bibig ko para sumagot pero iyon naman ang piniling pagkakataon ni Daze para bumalik sa lamesa namin.

Nagbaba siya ng plato at baso sa harapan ko at ganoon din ang ginawa niya sa puwesto niya. Then he turned to the other woman. "Isusunod na lang daw po nila ang sa'yo."

"Thanks!" Nangalumbaba si Lucienne at pinakatitigan ang lalaki. It's rare for Daze to look uncomfortable, but he looks that way right now. "How is the most talked-about person in town?"

Daze paled, knowing exactly what she meant. Napadiretso ako ng upo. I don't know why, but it's like every part of me wants to instinctively move to protect the man.

It didn't seem to escape Lucienne Dawson's notice because her eyes, which were looking at me, were lit with amusement. But her gaze became a bit sympathetic when she turned to Daze. "They're going to still talk about it years from now. Some will still blame you just because they feel no responsibility for their words, which could hurt somebody. Kahit na mapatunayan na wala ka namang kasalanan."

She's speaking from experience. That's how her words sounded.

"It's going to be okay," she told him without a hint of doubt in her tone. "You need to remind yourself every day that it's not your fault. The guilt is something you have to live with. In a way, I think it's how we keep them alive. Your world and theirs will forever be tangled."

I kept watching Daze as different emotions circled him. "I..."

"They're victims, but so are you. It's not their fault. It's not yours either." Nginitian niya ang lalaki. "It doesn't matter if there are people out there who will keep hating you. The only thing that matters is that you have people who believe in you."

Nag-angat ang babae ng tingin ng lumapit sa kinaroroonan namin si Mireia dala ang pagkain ng manunulat.

Lucienne clasped her hands together in happiness at the sight of food. Kinuha niya ang mga kubyertos niya at tinapunan niya ng tingin si Daze. "Bayad 'to sa words of wisdom ko. Pagkain na lang ang talent fee ko tutal payayamanin niyo naman ako someday ng Torta mo."

Now, what does she mean by that? At bakit parang gusto kong kabahan?

_______________End of Chapter 19.