#DS7Unbalanced #InoCent #SMCouple #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER THIRTY: STORM

TIARA'S POV

Nagpapasalamat na lang ako na mukhang walang tao nang makauwi ako. After the talk with Domino, I made the cowardly choice and hightailed my way back to the Radleys. I just sent a group message to the women who seem to understand what's happening even without me explaining it to them. Hindi na nga sila nagtanong kung anong nangyari at bigla akong nagpaalam na uuwi na.

Even Adrien didn't ask me anything when I called him. He just told me that he'd hang with the Dawsons for awhile to help in place of me. Saka inaya raw siya nila Trace mag-inuman mamaya.

Pabalabag na sinarado ko ang pintuan ng kuwarto ko at basta ko na lang itinapon kung saan ang bag ko. Mariing pinikit ko ang mga mata ko habang pilit na kinakalma ko ang paghinga ko.

"You've always been in here."

Everything is so messed up. This isn't what I wanted. I just wanted a little time with him. Something that isn't permanent. Iyong sa huli maghihiwalay kami na walang sama ng loob sa isa't isa. I just want to know what it feels like to be with someone like him. Someone as great as him. Kahit sandali lang okay na sa akin.

But I didn't want it for a long time. Kasi kapag iyon ang ginusto ko, kapag iyon ang pinili ko, mas masakit. Mas mahirap. If there's a deadline... it's easier. You separate as friends without needing to hurt. You can remember each other without the memories being bitter.

Alam ko naman na masasaktan pa rin ako kahit na anong piliin ko. But at least things will end because we agreed that they needed to. Not because we end up hating each other.

I've seen that happen, and I don't want it to happen to me. I can't. I can't have him looking at me with so much hatred and telling me that he doesn't want to see me again.

"Tiara?" I turned to look at the door, and I saw Emeric. His eyes flashed with worry, and in the next second he was next to me. "What happened?"

I tried to tell him that I'm okay, but that's when I realized that I couldn't. My chest is moving up and down quicker than normal, and it feels like there's a vice wrapped around my neck, squeezing me tighter every second.

Inabot ni Emeric ang kamay ko habang ang isa ay pinanghawak niya sa balikat ko. He pushed me a little so that I could lower myself on the bed. Nang makaupo ako ay naramdaman kong marahang tinapik niya ang likod ko.

"You're okay, Tiara. You're safe here."

That's the thing. I never felt safe here. I never felt safe with anyone except for the man that I couldn't be with. That I can't allow myself to be with, even though I want to.

Maintaining eye contact, Emeric leaned down so we were on eye level. His gaze was firm but gentle. "I need you to breathe with me."

I tried my best to do as he asked. It took us a couple of times before my breathing started to slow down a little.

"I don't know what happened, but you're clearly overwhelmed. I can't force you to tell me everything, but can you at least tell me a little so that I can see if I can help you?"

"I don't think anyone can at this point," I whispered.

"That's okay. Sometimes just letting it out lessens the burden a bit."

Hindi ako nagsalita kaagad. He didn't push, as if he were just waiting for me to relax more. Nang maramdaman ko ang bahagyang pagkawala ng tensyon na bumabalot sa akin ay sinalubong ko ang mga mata niya.

"He loves me."

My words caught him off guard. It looks like that wasn't what he was expecting me to say. "Are we talking about Dawson here?" Nang tumango lang ako ay napakamot siya sa ulo niya at bumubulong-bulong na nagsalita siya. "Wala talagang patawad ang pamilyang 'yon." He sighed with a shake of his head. "He told you that he's in love with you?"

"He didn't." Bumadha ang pagtataka sa mukha niya at sa pagkakataon na ito ay ako naman ang napabuntong-hininga. "He can say I love you in so many ways than just saying those three words. I've known it before. I was just in denial, and I know he was trying not to push too hard. But this time he wasn't holding back."

"You've always been in here."

"You don't like him?" salubong ang kilay na tanong niya. "Iyon ba ang problema? Because if that's the case, then I'll talk to him—"

"No." I felt my eyes turn misty. "That's the problem. I like him. I like him too much." And I know somehow that it is more than that. I know deep in my heart, that I've forced to stay unmoving, that it started beating a long time ago. I just didn't want to admit it out loud. Not even now.

"Why is that a problem?"

"Because I can't," I whispered.

"I don't... I don't understand." Tinangka ko na tumayo pero pinigilan niya ako sa pamamagitan ng bahagyang pagdiin sa balikat ko na hawak pa rin niya. His eyes turned gentle, and he patted my head. "Explain it to me slowly, please."

I looked down at my hands, and I clasped them together. "You're father—our father—cheated on his wife. Your mom."

"Yes?"

"With my mother."

Tumango siya. "Yes, he did."

"When I was a little girl, he would visit me. I loved it when he did. Kasi laging masaya kapag nandoon siya. My mother is strict. I always have a full schedule, even at the age of four. Hindi lang ballet lesson ang meron ako. I have academic lessons, musical lessons, and there's ballet. Then, when I turned five, there were more. But whenever he visits, it will be just a day full of fun. I always looked forward to it. Okay na ako ro'n. Kahit hindi araw-araw. I don't understand why he wasn't with us, but I didn't ask. I learned not to ask for too much. I was just happy that at least I get to be with him once in awhile."

"Tiara..."

"But every time that he's with us... my mother will cut it short. Whatever he gives me, she will take away. Materyal man 'yon na bagay o hindi. Then one day, I found out the truth. Why I only have him sometimes and not all the time. Kung bakit hindi katulad ng mga kaklase ko na lagi nilang kasama ang mga magulang nila." I wouldn't have realized that I was crying if my tears didn't fall to my hands. "He wasn't even mine to have. Those days with him... I was taking him away from his own family."

I heard Emeric curse, but I didn't stop.

"Domino told me that it wasn't my fault. And you know what? I have learned to come to peace with it. What our father did wasn't my choice. I'm not to blame for their affair. Hindi ko iyon ginusto. Hindi ko pinili na maging anak nila. To become the result of their shameful decisions."

"That's right," he murmured. "It was never, nor will it ever be your fault." He squeezed my shoulder a little. "If you know that, then why do you look so afraid?"

My lips quivered, and my voice came out as barely a whisper. "I don't want him to love me."

"Or you don't want to love him even if you already do."

His words felt like a blow that I wasn't ready for. "I..."

"Why?" Nang hindi ako sumagot ay binago niya ang tanong niya. "Maraming tao na nagmamahal kahit hindi sila sigurado kung maibabalik sa kanila ang pagmamahal na iyon. Why are you so afraid of letting yourself love someone who clearly loves you back?"

For a moment, I couldn't say anything. I didn't know how to explain it to him. How can I make him understand that I simply can't?

"It's going to hurt," I found myself saying. "When he ends up hating me someday. When it's no longer new and exciting. When he realizes that I'm hard to be with. He will hate me, and it will hurt. It's better to stop now. It's better not to get into deep."

"Tiara, you're already into deep."

Umiling ako. "No—"

"You're already hurting because you're stopping yourself from having what your heart wants you to have." Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na hininga. "Honestly, I'm not the best person to talk about this. It's not like I have a great track record when it comes to relationships. But I know the Dawsons. I know that when they fall in love, they do it hard. I also know that when they commit, there's no going back for them."

"I'm scared," I admitted, my voice sounded broken.

Sandaling nakamata lang siya sa akin. He let out a sigh again before crouching to sit beside me. "They fucked up." Bumuka ang mga labi ko para magsalita pero inunahan niya ako. "The adults who you were supposed to look up to made a mistake. They messed up. If you grew up in an environment like that, it would most likely mess you up too. But it wouldn't if you had the right people. You have me and Damian now. You have the Dawsons." He gave me a soft smile. "Don't let their mistakes stop you from being happy, Tiara. I don't know what he said to make you think that he hates you. But he didn't. He hated that his mistakes were catching up to him. When I said mistakes, I didn't mean you. I meant the affair. And even if he did? If he hates the existence of his unfaithfulness, which is a threat to what he wanted to build back then, so what? It just proves how unworthy he is of someone who grew up as a great person despite their absence. He should be ashamed. He should be the one to question his worth. Not you."

It must be hard for him to talk about this. It's his father, after all. Someone he'd been with for years. "Emeric, you don't have to—"

"Walang taong nakakaalam ng hinaharap. I can't tell you that whatever you're building with Domino will not collapse someday. I can't tell you that every relationship will last. There's no such assurance in this world. But can you really live with the fact that you didn't try?"

It was like air was sucked out of me at his question.

His gaze went soft, as if he could read me. "You're giving a deadline on something that you haven't fought for yet. You can't expect something to work if you're thinking of it ending from the very start." Marahang tinapik niya ako sa ulo. "When the time comes that life gives you a chance, don't think. The mind has the tendency to overcomplicate things that's meant to be simple for the heart."

"You talk like you know what it's like," I mumbled.

"No. I'm telling you this because I wasn't lucky to experience it. But you have." The corner of his lips went up. "Don't choose what feels easy. Choose what frightens you. Love wasn't meant to stop you from being afraid. It's about finding someone you're willing to be brave enough to risk everything."

I don't know why his words resonate so much. I don't know if it's because he obviously struggled alone as well. Hindi man namin pinag-uusapan ng buo pero alam ko sa ilang beses pa lang naming nag-usap na hindi lahat naging madali para sa kaniya. He has the aura of a person who never takes anything seriously and who doesn't know what it's like to face any hardship, but once you get to know him, once he opens up a little, you'll see a glimpse of what he needed to overcome.

"And, Tiara? What happened before wasn't because you were hard to love. It wasn't because you're unlovable," he said, bumping my shoulder lightly with a small smile on his lips. "The Dawsons don't just love anyone. They're friendly, but it's different when they treat you as family. And for me, I think the latter best describes your relationship with them. If you're hard to love, they wouldn't care for you the way they already do. I wouldn't care for you as much as I do, even if we barely know each other."

I don't know what happened, but at the next, I found myself enveloped in his strong arms, sobbing my heart out that wanted to reach for something so much but it ended bleeding because I was gripping on it tightly so that it wouldn't.

"Everything will be okay, Tiara. Just a little more time, and it will all be okay."

I looked up at him, confused at what he meant by that. He wasn't looking at me, and instead his eyes were fixed somewhere else. I followed his gaze, and to my confusion, he was staring at the ballerina music box that I'd placed on top of the vanity mirror.

What does he mean by that?

I KNEW THAT this was coming, but nothing would have really prepared me for what's in front of me now. I could feel the heavy stare of the people staring from the moment that I descended the grand circular stairs of Radley's house. I could feel the judgment masked by curiosity. After all, I was the hidden child. The product of the affair.

It's finally the night of the party that my father has been planning for me. It's been almost a month since I stayed with them, and this night has finally come. The other event I attended with them was just an appetizer. This was the entrée.

I gripped the champagne glass I'm holding tightly. I feel like I'm a character that needs to play a part. I was the star of a show that I hadn't intended to be part of.

"Don't mind them. They love other people's drama because they can't focus on their own." Nag-angat ako ng mukha mula sa baso na hawak ko at nabungaran ko ang nakangiting mukha ni Damian Salazar. A sense of gratitude mixed with relief wrapped around me. At least I know that he's not here to judge me or stare at me like I'm some kind of foreign species. "We meet again."

I was about to extend my hand for a handshake, but to my surprise, he gave me a quick but tight hug. It didn't feel unwelcome, and instead, it's like I suddenly feel light despite being in the middle of what felt like a performance for me.

Damian raised his glass towards an older couple whose curious eyes were locked on us. "That man, Carlos Ortega, can buy a small island with how much money he's been pouring on paying all the people that reported against him for sexual misconduct. The woman with him is his wife, Adriana Ortega, who isn't unaware of his husband's activities but loves to pretend that they aren't happening so that she could continue her lifestyle of spending the rest of his money that isn't being used for settlements."

I have a feeling that the two aren't oblivious to what we might be talking about because their eyes grew sharp on us. Damian, though, seemed to have an invisible shield around him because he just continued as if nothing fazed him.

He tipped his head to point to another man. Mukhang kasing tanda lang iyon ng ama ko. "That's Antonio Manansala. An apt name for a person with a lot of "sala". I can't even list all his deeds, if I'm being honest. Murder na lang ata ang hindi pa niya nagagawa." Nagkibit-balikat siya. "But who knows?"

May dumaan na babae sa harapan namin. The woman is wearing a tight red dress that barely covers anything. "Maya Vargas. She loves to use her mouth by either running it to spread lies or by using it in different ways to win favors. No matter what age, and even though the ability of that person to have a functioning... you know... is questionable." I heard the woman gasp. She snapped her head back to look at us, but Damian just smiled sweetly. "She was so busy these days trying to convince everyone that you're just like your mother and maybe better than her because you have plans to have an affair with the president's son." Nakangiti pa rin na nilingon ako ni Damian. His face gentled when he saw the shock on my face. "I'm a patient person, but my father is not. I may not like his ways, but I can't stop him from doing anything if anyone tries to ruin my image. Lalo na ngayon na marami siyang plano para sa akin," sabi niya na halatang pinaririnig sa babae.

"Maybe I should—"

Hindi niya ako pinatapos sa sasabiin niya at ipinatong niya lang ang braso niya sa balikat ko. He seems to know that I wanted to suggest that we avoid such gossip by me staying away from him. Iniharap niya ako sa isa pang direksyon at garapalang tumuro siya. "Javier Alvarado. You can call him my father's best friend. You should stay away from him. He has a convincing smile, but he's rotten to the core."

I look around us with wide eyes. "Is it really okay for you to talk about them this way?" I whispered.

"Why not? They're talking about you, aren't they?"

Damian seems to be a good person. Maybe even too good for the kind of life that is waiting for him. But now I can see that despite his obvious kindness, he has his own kind of cruelty that must have been helping him get by in a life that is full of politics.

"Are you terrorizing my sister?"

Parehas na lumingon kami at namataan namin si Emeric na palapit sa amin. Nakangusong hinila niya ako palayo kay Damian at pinalit niya ang braso niya sa pagkakaakbay sa akin.

"What kind of a brother would leave his sister around these vultures?" Damian asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lalong humaba ang nguso ni Emeric. "Nagpapapogi pa ako. Para naman maagaw ko ang atensyon ng lahat at hindi lang sila naka-pokus kay Tiara." Nagbaba ng tingin sa akin ang lalaki. "Right?"

"Umm... sure?"

"See?" Damian makes a "tsk tsk" sound. "Even Tiara's not convinced that you can do that. Sabi ko naman kasi sa'yo bumili ka ng bagong salamin kasi mukhang sinungaling ang mga salamin niyo rito sa bahay niyo."

"It wouldn't be the only liar in this place if that's the case."

I looked up at the bite in Emeric's words, but he was smiling as if it were just a normal thing to state. Even Damian shrugged in agreement.

"Are you okay now?"

I glance at Damian at his question. "What do you mean?"

His face softened, and he patted my head before tipping his chin at someone. "I hope you're ready." He looked down to meet my gaze. "Because they're here."

It took me a moment to understand what he meant. When I did, my heart thudded so hard in my chest that I could feel it making a dent against my ribcage. It was as if it wanted to fly out of me. Just a few feet away stood the Dawson siblings, in complete attendance, all dressed to kill. Their presence added an electrifying tension to the air, as if a storm were brewing beneath their composed exteriors.

And in the middle of the storm is the man who is now looking straight at me.

My serpent.