#DS6Unwavering #CirCoal #SharkFamily #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER SEVEN: VICES

CIRCE'S POV

Nasa akto ako nang pag-iinat nang mamataan ko ang mga tao na ngayon ay nakasalampak sa living room ng bahay ni Tala. Still disoriented from sleep, I just stood there while watching the people who hadn't noticed my presence yet.

Bukod kay Coal na kasalukuyang kandong si Kaise ay kasama rin nila ang sister-in-law ng binata na si Ember na karga ang sariling anak at ang mga kapatid niya na sina Trace, Domino, at Luna.

Kaise looks like she's having the time of her life. Napapaligiran sila ng mga gift wrapper at mga regalo. Almost all of them have sharks on them, so it's no wonder she's having a blast.

Tinignan ko ang wall clock. Seven pa lang ng umaga. Usually nagigising ako ng mas maaga dahil inuunahan ko talaga si Kaise. Tala probably turned off my alarm so I could sleep more.

Napailing na lang ako nang makita kong sinusubukan ni Coal na subuan ng pagkain si Kaise pero tinabig lang ng bata ang kamay niya na hindi magkamayaw sa pag-abot sa mga laruan na nagkalat.

"Hi, idol!"

Kinawayan ko rin pabalik si Domino na siyang unang nakapansin sa akin. All eyes went to me, but only one pair made me want to fidget from where I was standing.

I gave them a smile as I approached them. Sa tabi ni Coal ay nakita ko ang toddler grip dish ni Kaise. There are bananas and French toast in it, cut into bite-size pieces. Dumukwang ako ng bahagya at inabot ko ang kamay ni Coal na may hawak na pambatang tinidor. May nakatusok doon na maliit na piraso ng toast.

"Oooh, what's this? Yum!" I exclaimed exaggeratedly while chewing to get Kaise's attention. "Look! Daddy's going to feed the shark too."

I gave Coal a pointed look when he didn't move. He looked frozen for a second while looking at me. Pagkaraan ay tumikhim siya at kumuha ulit ng piraso ng tinapay at umakto siyang pinapakain ang hawak ni Kaise na laruan. Is it just me, or does his face look flush?

Inangat ni Kaise ang mga kamay. "Babi's turn!"

Napapangiting umupo ako sa sahig nang makita kong nagsisimula ng kumain ang bata. Kung patigasan lang ng ulo, mahirap manalo kay Kaise.

"I like your shirt."

I looked at Domino, and I found him looking at the print on my black long t-shirt sleepwear. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa suot ko. On my chest, written in white letters, are the words "Beach please".

"Gusto mong bulagin kita?"

Parehas na nagtatakang napamata kami ni Domino kay Coal na masama ang tingin sa kapatid niya. Trace chuckled, and then he patted the back of his younger brother. "Makaka-relate ka rin someday."

"Ha?" nagtatakang sabi ni Domino.

"Huwag mong masyadong galitin si Coal. Sensitive siya ngayon."

I turned to Coal, who's still giving his brother a look that could kill. Nang maramdaman niya marahil ang tingin ko ay nilingon niya ako at mabilis nabago ang ekpresyon sa mukha niya. His face brightened as if he had his own personal sun, giving him a source of light.

"Nasaan pala si Tala?" tanong ko habang ginagala ko ang tingin ko sa paligid.

"May bibilin lang daw siya sandali," sagot ni Coal.

I gathered my hair into a bun. "Did you all have breakfasts already?"

"We did." Coal's gaze was fixed on my messy curly hair, and a smile spread on his lips. "Dinalan ka rin namin."

Tumango ako at pagkatapos ay tumayo ako para pumunta sa kusina. When I saw a paper bag with the logo of a nearby hotel, I took it with me and went back to the living room.

I excitedly started eating when I opened the container inside the bag and saw that it was a breakfast taco. Itutupi ko sana ang pinaglayan ng pagkain nang maramdaman ko na may laman pa iyon. I took it out, and I saw that it was a palm-sized chocolate chip cookie inside a translucent wrapper.

If there's one thing that didn't change between when I was pregnant with Kaise and now, it's my love for chocolate chip cookies.

Ibinaba ko ang breakfast taco ko at kaagad na binuksan ko ang wrapper ng cookie. I took a bite, and a moan escaped my lips when I tasted its sweet, gooey goodness. This is heaven.

"Fuck."

Napakurap ako kay Coal na siyang nagsalita. Mukhang nagulat din siya sa sarili niyang sinabi at nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin siya kay Kaise na ngayon ay nakatingala at titig na titig sa kaniya.

Uh oh. "Kaise—"

"Pak?" the two-year old asked with child-like wonder.

Napangiwi si Coal. "Shit— uhh..."

Kaise blinked. "Pak... shi?"

As if they couldn't contain it, Coal's family started laughing. I coughed, trying to contain my own laughter, especially when I saw Coal's deer-in-the-headlights expression. Poor guy.

"Babi?" tawag ko kay Kaise na kaagad naman akong nilingon. "It's a no no word."

"No no?"

"Yes," I said with a serious expression on my face. "Every time you say it, a baby shark goes to heaven."

Namilog ang mga mata ng bata. "Nemo mommy?"

"Yes. Where Nemo's mom went to."

Her lips quivered at the same time that tears pooled in her eyes. One... two... three.

Nakakabinging palahaw ng iyak niya ang bumalot sa buong sala ng bahay at natatarantang pilit na pinatahan siya ni Coal na tinatapik-tapik and likod ng bata.

When I was a new mom, I used to stress about Kaise's cries. Hindi naman siya iyakin pero may mga pagkakataon pa rin talaga na hindi iyon naiiwasan lalo pa at hindi pa naman niya kayang i-express ang sarili niya ng maayos. When she's hungry, irritable, hurt, or crying about Finding Nemo. Now that I can differentiate them, I find some of her crying fits hilarious. Lalo na kapag si Nemo ang pinag-uusapan. Aside from sharks, she likes that fish. Sa palabas lang din na 'yon hindi niya gusto ang sharks. She calls them "bad shaks".

Kumagat ako sa hawak ko na cookie bago ako nagsalita. "Hug her."

Coal immediately followed my words. Sumubsob sa leeg niya ang umiiyak pa rin na si Kaise. They look so cute.

When Kaise's cries died down, I gently took her from Coal. I kissed her chubby cheeks before I sat her on my legs. "Finish your breakfast, babi, okay?"

She looked at Coal. "Eat."

Mahinang napatawa ako lalo pa at nagmamadaling kumilos agad si Coal. She's like a queen commanding her servant to do something for her. The man didn't seem to mind, though. Parang handa siyang gawin lahat para lang hindi makitang umiyak ulit si Kaise.

Habang sinusubuan ng lalaki ang bata ay binalingan ko ang pamilya niya. "Nasaan nga pala iyong iba niyo pang kasama?"

"Kung payag ka raw, pwede tayong mag-lunch mamaya. They didn't want to barge in here and overwhelm you and little princess Sese here," Luna said while fondly looking at my daughter.

"Of course, I would love to. Kung gusto rin nilang pumunta rito wala namang problema. Dapat tinext na lang ako ni Coal. Nakakahiya naman na naiwan pa sila sa hotel."

"Don't worry. Gumagala pa ang mga 'yon kasama ang mga chikiting nila." She sighed and shook her head as if thinking of something. "Saka okay na rin 'yon. I could bond with Kaise without everyone breathing down my neck and giving me the stinky eye. Galit pa sa akin ang mga 'yon."

"Kami rin," sabi ni Domino na ngumuso.

"Ako hindi," sabi naman ni Trace na nagtaas pa ng kamay. "Busilak kasi ang kalooban ko."

"Ang sabihin mo wala ka lang laban kay Ember." Tinapunan ng tingin ni Domino ang asawa ng kapatid. "All the women are on Luna's side."

Naguguluhang nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanila. "Is it bad that you got married? I mean... nasa tamang edad ka naman na."

Tumango ang babae. "Exactly."

Coal turned to me. "Hindi naman sa ayaw namin siyang mag-asawa. It's just that she didn't inform any of us."

"Kaya nga," segunda ni Domino. "You didn't even invite us."

Malakas na bumuntong-hininga si Luna. "Biglaan nga. I told you guys, I'm going to have an official celebration para lahat kayo nandoon."

"Hindi ang celebration ang importante," sabi ni Coal na naiiling. "We're your family. We could have been there for you, katulad kung paanong nandoon tayo sa mga kasal ng mga kapatid natin bilang suporta sa kanila no'ng sila ang kinasal."

Domino crossed his arms. "Hindi mo man lang nga kami hinayaan na kilalanin ang mapapangasawa mo."

"You've known him for years," Luna said.

"As Luciene's boss. Not as your husband," Coal grumbled.

I couldn't help but take pity on her. Clearly, it's a fight of one against seven. Hindi nakakapagtaka kung bakit kinakampihan siya ng mga babae. Pero kahit gano'n ay nakikita ko rin ang point nila Coal. She's the youngest of the eight siblings. Mukhang sila rin ang klase ng pamilya na close na close. Kaya siguro hindi rin inaasahan ng mga kapatid niya ang naging desisyon niya. They are obviously protective of her.

"Umm..." I hesitated when I saw that everyone's attention was on me. "I don't really know any of you that much, so I hope you don't take offense. But don't you think she has a reason why she chose to get married that way?"

"Circe—"

Hindi ko pinatapos si Coal sa kung anuman na sasabihin niya at nagpatuloy ako. "She's your sister, so you know her better than anyone. You probably all know that she won't decide on something permanent on a whim. Hindi naman maiaalis sa inyo ang ma-disappoint. But she made a decision that she was happy to make for herself. Like you've said, you wanted to be there for her to support her. So why not do that now? Be here for her."

Namayani ang katahimikan sa paligid. I saw Ember giving me a warm smile while Luna gave me a grateful look.

I cleared my throat. "So..." I looked at Coal. "Maybe try not to be too hard on her?"

Domino scoffed. "Si Kuya Coal pa? Walang puso 'yan—"

"Okay," Coal said, cutting off Domino's words. He gave Luna a small smile. "Sorry, Lu. Of course we'll be there at your party."

Laglag ang mga panga ni Trace at Domino habang nakatunganga kay Coal. Halos sabay din silang nakabawi at ngumisi.

"Tumitibok din pala ang puso mo, Kuya Coal. Akala namin iyong isang "P" lang ang gumagana sa'yo," pang-aasar ni Domino.

Eksaheradong tinapik-tapik ni Trace ang dibdib niya na para bang touch na touch siya. "Character development 'yan? Kailan ka pa nagpa-heart transplant, Coal?"

He answered his brother, but his eyes were on me. "Two years and eleven months ago."

NAPATIGIL ako sa akmang pagkagat sa cookie na hawak ko at napalingon ako sa bintana nang bumukas iyon. Inasahan ko na si Tala ang sisilip doon pero sa pakagulat ko ay si Coal ang sumungaw mula roon.

"Hi. Sorry for barging into your room." Sandaling nag-alangan siya bago pagkaraan ay umakyat siya para lumabas mula sa bintana. "Tala told me that I would find you here."

"It's okay. Nagulat lang ako kasi akala ko sumama ka na sa kanila."

It's been quite a day. Kaise had fun being around Coal's family. Nag-lunch kami kasama ng pamilya niya at kaninang dinner naman ay ako ang nag-imbita sa kanila para kumain sa bahay.

They stayed for hours, and if I'm being honest, I enjoyed having them. Maraming kuwento ang pamilya niya at nakakaaliw sila lalo na sina Trace at Lucienne na parang hindi nauubusan ng bagay na pagtatalunan.

Kung hindi pa inaantok si Kaise ay hindi pa sila magpapaalam para bumalik sa hotel. May meeting ulit si Tala kaya ako na ang nagpatulog sa bata lalo na at naglalambing. Sumama si Coal sa pamilya niya kaya akala ko ay magpapahinga na rin siya.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko. "Hinatid ko lang sila. Sa dami ng mga pamangkin ko baka abutin sila ng bukas bago makabalik sa hotel."

"Your family's great." Nginitian ko siya. "And I think your nephew has a little crush on me."

He chuckled. "I noticed."

Buong gabi kasi na sa tabi ko lang umupo ang pamangkin niya na si Duke Nikolas, or as they call him, Cookie. I think his crush started when I showed him my stash of chocolate chips when he and the other kids asked for dessert. Ang sabi kasi ni Lucienne pinaglihi niya raw sa cookies si Cookie. Hence the name.

"I was wondering..." I tilted my head in question. "Can we watch more of Kaise's baby videos?"

Hindi namin natapos panoorin lahat ng videos ni Kaise noong isang araw. Masyado rin kasing marami talaga iyon.

"Of course we can. Gusto mo ba sa sala o okay lang sa'yo na panoorin sa phone ko?"

"We can stay here and watch on your phone." Tumingin siya sa harapan namin. Hindi na kita ang dagat dahil madilim na ang paligid pero rinig pa rin iyon mula sa kinaroroonan namin. Tanging mga maliliit na liwanag lang na nagmumula sa mga bukas pa na establishment ang matatanaw. "You have a great view here."

The room I'm using here has a window that leads to a short drop to the lower roof of the house that makes up the rest of Tala's single-story house. Naisipan ko lang minsan na subukan na lumabas mula sa bintana at magpatay ng oras. Now it's my favorite spot when I want some alone time. That I'm now sharing with him.

"This is my favorite corner. Kaya nga kapag nagpagawa ako ng bahay hindi ko rin palalagyan ng second floor. Gusto ko lang 'yung ganito kapag gusto ko na may tambayan. Saka mapaparanoid lang ako kapag may second floor dahil kay Kaise."

Coal stared at me for a moment, his smile melting off. Sa pagtataka ko ay nilabas niya ang cellphone niya at mabilis na nag-type siya roon. Nang muli siyang bumaling sa akin ay may panibagong ngiti na nakapaskil sa mga labi niya.

Inabot ko ang pakete ng Chips Ahoy at binigyan ko ng isa si Coal bago ko kinuha rin ang phone ko at nagpipindot doon. Nang mahanap ko ang kopya ng mga video ay binigay ko rin 'yon kay Coal.

"You really love cookies," Coal said after awhile, his eyes on the handheld device.

Sinilip ko ang pinapanood niya at napangiti ako nang makita ko ang sarili ko na nasa grocery store. Tulak ko ang stroller ni Kaise na ginagamit ko rin na lalagyan ng mga pinamimili ko na cookies. Kaise's even holding a pack of Chips Ahoy in the video.

"Iyan lang ang nag-iisa kong bisyo," sabi ko sa kaniya. "How about you?"

"Ikaw." Kasabay ng paninigas ko sa kinauupuan ko ay nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Coal. A playful smile curved his lips. "Ikaw, ano sa tingin mo?"

Aminin. Umasa ka ro'n no? "H-Ha?"

"Ano sa tingin mo ang bisyo ko?"

Nag-iinit ang magkabilang pisngi na nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "I don't know... do you smoke?"

"Not really. Minsan kapag napapagod na akong bugahan ni Domino."

"Alcohol?"

"I can live without it. Umiinom lang ako kapag naiisipan ko na lumabas minsan."

I pursed my lips, and I saw his eyes drop to it. Huwag kang hopia. Baka maliit ka lang talaga kaya nagbaba ng tingin 'yung tao. "Women, then?"

"Kung tatanungin mo ang pamilya ko, oo siguro ang sagot."

His gaze didn't leave me for a second, as if he was waiting for my expression to change. It's not like I'm going berserk just because he has a life that he enjoys in his own way. Even if I tried thinking about what it would feel like if we were in a romantic relationship now, I doubt that the list of women he dated before would bother me. It's none of my business, and persecuting someone based on being sexually active is an obsolete mindset that is too unreasonable.

"But I don't agree."

"Right? There's nothing wrong with meeting new people. You're single—" Natigilan ako nang may maiisip. We haven't talked about that. "Are you? Single, I mean?"

"I haven't been in a relationship for a long time."

"But you date casually, right?" I doubt I'm his last one-night stand. Not that I mind. Wala naman kaming relasyon at kahit kung meron pa, technically he was free to see other people before. Hindi naman namin alam pareho na magkikita pa kami.

"Circe..."

Kumunot ang noo ko. He looks uncomfortable. "What? Is it awkward to talk about it?"

Ilang sandali na nakatingin lang siya sa akin. "After the night we shared, I tried dating other people."

He looks like he wants to say more, so I just keep looking at him while waiting. Pagkaraan ay umangat ang sulok ng labi niya na para bang may ginawa akong kinasurpresa niya. "But I just don't find it in me to go out and meet people the way I did before. I was tired of it, I guess." Binigyan niya ako ng maliit na ngiti. "To answer your question, yes. It's a bit awkward."

"Why?"

He made a "hmm" sound that I felt in a place that I tried to ignore. Down, girl. "Let's see. You're the mother of my child."

"I am."

"We shared an amazing night before."

Muling bumalik ang pag-iinit ng magkabila kong pisngi. "Y-Yes."

"You are also the only woman that I went ungloved for because, with you, being rational is not an option. Not when it felt like I would stop breathing if I didn't feel every part of you."

Holy shit. "Umm..."

"You are the one I wanted to forget because I thought that's what you wanted, but that seems impossible when I can still feel you, when I can only think of you, and when the memory of you never stops replaying in my dreams."

My lips parted, but no words came out. For some reason, at that moment, the words of his sister-in-law rang in my ears.

"All of them are forces of nature. They might appear tough and unmovable, they might sometimes try to fight it, but once they know, they know... and there's nothing in this world that has been created yet to stop them."

__________________________End of Chapter 7.