#DS6Unwavering #CirCoal #SharkFamily #DaggerSeries

A/N: Sabi naman sa inyo hindi ako nagsusulat ng normal na taguan na anak. More on di magkahanapan na magulang ang mga 'to. Taguan ng tatay at nanay :D

CHAPTER FOUR: WAVE 

CIRCE'S POV

"She looks like an angel."

May ngiti sa mga labi na inayos ko ang kumot ni Kaise. By the time we reached home, she was already fast asleep. Kahit siguro may magpaputok sa harapan namin mismo ng fireworks ay hindi magigising ang bata.

It's one of the things I'm thankful for. Hindi si Kaise ang klase ng bata na madaling magising sa ingay kaya nakakakilos ako ng normal kahit tulog na siya. Hindi rin siya mahirap patulugin. Noong kapapanganak ko nga lang sa kaniya parang gusto ko na ring umiyak kapag hindi siya makatulog o kapag putol-putol ang tulog niya.

Year one with my baby was a challenge. I was adjusting, hormonal, and exhausted. Thanks to Tala and the kind people of Siargao, I survived.

Dala ang parent unit ng baby monitor na tahimik na naglakad ako palabas ng kuwarto. Nahuli ng ilang sandali si Coal na para bang hindi magawang lubayan ng tingin si Kaise. Nang makalabas na rin siya ay maingat na sinarado ko ang pintuan.

"You have a beautiful home," Coal said when we were back in the living room.

"It's actually my friend's house. Kasama namin siya ni Kaise minsan pero ngayon kasi ay may trabaho siya."

Tala is coaching a young male surfer she discovered here in Siargao. Ngayon ay lumalaban na sila sa ibang bansa. I didn't mind since, after dropping out of the competition in Australia, I haven't really competed again.

I'm planning to, though. After their competition, she'll help me with conditioning for the pro surfing competition in La Union this year.

I started training again almost a year ago. Hindi ko naman kasi gusto na mabuhay kami ni Kaise gamit lang ang ipon at trust fund ko. I have sponsorships, and I'm earning through my social media but I want to surf again. Mabuti na lang din talaga maaga akong natuto na mag-invest.

"You're not from here?"

"No. Sa Manila talaga nakatira ang parents ko. Sa Batangas naman ang mother ko." Kumunot ang noo niya na parang naguguluhan sa sinabi ko. "My biological mother was from Batangas. My father and adoptive mother live in Manila. "

"Bumibisita na lang sila rito?"

"Nope. They weren't in my life even before I had Kaise. Not that I want them to. I don't have a good relationship with them. I left home the moment that I knew that I was legally allowed to. I don't even use their surname publicly." Nang makita ko ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya ay binigyan ko siya ng maliit na ngiti. "Trust me. It's better that way."

Tumuloy ako sa open kitchen ng bahay at inilabas ko mula sa refrigerator ang mga pagkain na niluto ko kaninang umaga.

"You're probably hungry," I told him when I saw him watching me. "Kinain ko kanina iyong order mo sa cafe'. Mukha kasing matagal pa bago ka magising kaya binayaran ko na at kinain."

"About that... I apologize."

Napatawa ako. "Hindi ba dapat ako ang mag-sorry? Basta ko na lang kinain ang pagkain mo."

"No." Napakamot siya sa ulo. "I meant the fainting part."

"Wala ka namang ginawang mali. Una mukhang pagod ka rin talaga. Tapos ginulat pa kita ng gano'n lang." Inilagay ko sa microwave ang isang bowl na inilabas ko. "Nagluto ako ng sinigang kanina. Sabi naman sa Sand Dollar okay naman daw akong magluto. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung magugustuhan mo. Nagsisimula pa lang din kasi akong matuto. "

Mukha namang wala siyang balak magreklamo dahil nang ilagay ko sa center island ang bagong init na ulam at kanin at pagkatapos ko siyang abutan ng plato at mga kubyertos ay kaagad na siyang nagsimulang kumain. Nagutom ata.

"You work for that restaurant?"

"Sa Sand Dollar? Not really. Tumutulong lang talaga ako paminsan-minsan." Dahil din sa kanila kaya kahit paano ay natuto akong magluto.

Nang makailang subo na siya at nakita niyang pinapanood ko siya ay binagalan niya ang pagkain niya. Inabutan ko siya ng baso ng tubig at ininom niya iyon bago siya nagsalitang muli, "Do you plan to live here?"

"I want to have a vacation house here pero gusto ko pa rin talagang ituloy iyong plano ko na bumili ng bahay sa Batangas."

"Batangas?"

"There's a secret surf spot in Lemery." Natigilan ako sandali. He doesn't know about that part of my life. Kung tutuusin ay wala naman talaga kaming alam sa isa't isa. "I'm a surfer. I kind of compete as a profession. Natigil nga lang no'ng nabuntis ako kay Kaise."

For a moment, he just looked at me as if he were impressed by what I just shared. "Isn't Siargao the best place for surfing?"

"It is. Kung gusto kong mag-training ay ito ang perfect na lugar. But I want my home to be a place where I can relax. Iyong tamang surf lang at swimming. And after I met my biological mother, I really wanted to live in the province she loved."

"May bahay ako sa Batangas," he suddenly blurted out.

"Really?"

He cleared his throat. "Sa may Lemery din."

"I thought nagbakasyon ka lang noong nagkita tayo ro'n. Sa Batangas ka pala talaga nakatira."

"Not really. I live in Tagaytay."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Pero may bahay ka sa Batangas?"

May dumaan na pag-aalinlangan sa kaniya pero pagkaraan ay pilit na ngumiti siya. "Kabibili ko lang ng bahay ko sa Batangas. Bago 'yon ay sa Tagaytay pa ako. Doon kasi ako nagtatrabaho."

"Hindi ba hassle 'yon?"

"Hindi naman. Umm... isang oras lang naman ang byahe kapag traffic. Twenty to thirty minutes if I use my motorbike. Isa pa hindi ko naman kailangan na laging nasa opisina sa klase ng trabaho ko. It's normal for me to travel to any part of the country I'm needed in."

"Oh. What exactly do you do?"

"I co-own a private security and investigation company with my brothers. Sometimes we do detective work at minsan naman we provide security detail for well known people."

If he works for a company like that, he has every means to find me. Pero bakit niya naman ako hahanapin? I was just a casual hookup who made the choice to leave him without saying goodbye. I was the one who made it clear to him what I wanted..

"Kaise turned two last February, but we're having a party this April," I said after awhile.

"When is it?"

"Next week. On Saturday." I gave him a small smile. "I was just wondering kung gaano ka katagal dito sa Siargao. Sa Sand Dollar lang naman. We were waiting for her ninang before we celebrate."

"We're leaving tomorrow night."

"Oh."

"But I'll be back here then. I'm actually working right now. Kaya ako napunta rito. Kailangan ko lang mag-report sa trabaho at may... may mga kailangan lang akong ayusin sa bahay."

People used to say that I was too carefree. Even if I know that some actions have consequences, I still do them without stressing much about them. Ang dahilan ko kasi noon, if I'm going to fix something in the end, at least I've enjoyed the journey before I get there. Enjoy now and stress later. Kaya nga may baby Kaise na ako ngayon. Enjoy pa more. But that's the way I've always been. If my thoughts get too loud, I usually find myself drowning them in the ocean. Washing them away as waves touch my skin.

I hate overthinking things. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na iintindihin ko lang ang mga bagay na kaya kong ayusin habang pinakakawalan ko na lang ang mga bagay na hindi ko kayang kontrolin.

But now, for some reason, I couldn't stop the what-ifs. Paano kung hindi siya bumalik? Paano kung maisip niya na mas gusto niya ang buhay noon na hindi niya alam ang tungkol kay Kaise? Paano kung ito na pala ang huli?

"I'm coming back."

Gulat na nag-angat ako ng mukha pero kaagad din akong nag-iwas ng mga mata nang makita kong nakatuon sa akin ang paningin niya. "Okay."

"I'm going to leave my contact details to you. Pati na ang sa kompanya namin kung sakaling hindi ako makasagot agad."

"I—"

"I'm going to be here for the both of you from now on."

"I really appreciate that." I cleared my throat. "For Kaise."

I can see that he's aware of the line that I'm putting between us. But instead of being deterred, a smile curved his lips and there's a shine in his eyes that tells me that I should prepare myself for something.

"Pwede ko bang sabihin sa pamilya ko ang tungkol sa kaniya?" Coal asked after awhile.

"Of course you can. Kung gusto mo rin silang isama sa birthday party ni Kaise okay lang din sa akin."

"I'll tell them that. Madami namang hotel dito."

"Or you can stay here. May guest rooms naman," I offered.

"I have a big family." Naging alangin ang ngiti niya. "A big and loud one."

"How big?"

"Walo kaming magkakapatid. Five of them are married. I also have four nephews and five nieces."

Laglag ang pangang napatulala ako sa kaniya. That's a lot. I can't imagine kapag mayroon silang family dinner. Parang kaya nilang sakupin ang buong Sand Dollar.

"Hindi naman siguro sila magiging available lahat para pumunta rito, right? I mean... you all have work and other commitments."

"Believe me. Kayang gumawa ng paraan ng mga iyon." An expression of fondness spread across his face. Malaki ang pamilya niya pero mukhang magkakasundo sila. "But I don't want you to be overwhelmed. Marami pa namang pagkakataon para makita niyo sila ni Kaise."

Is it just me, or does he keep saying things that feel like a promise?

"It's fine. Kaya naman siguro ng Sand Dollar. Sabihan mo na lang din ako beforehand para ipa-close ko na lang sila for reservation."

"I'll pay."

Umiling ako. "No, it's okay. Kami naman ng ninang niya ang magbabayad talaga—"

"I want to. I missed her first birthday. I know there's no way I could make up for that, but I want to try." As if his words didn't touch my heart enough, his eyes softened in a way that made me melt into a puddle. "Please?"

This doesn't bode well for me. It seems like I don't have the ability to say no to him when he looks at me this way.

"Okay then."

PUMAINLANG sa paligid ang matitinis na hagikhik ni Kaise. Her laughter sounded like the sweet ringing of bells. A contrast to the screaming of children nearby that are clinging to their parents as wave after wave crashes around us.

"Gen!"

Muli kong tinulungan ang anak ko na makatayo sa maliit na surf board na nasa harapan namin. I bought it for her before I even gave birth to her. Sabi ni Tala maagang pag-brainwash daw para maging mahilig din sa dagat si Kaise.

My daughter might have behaved better than me when I was as young as she is, but when she's in the ocean, she takes after me.

Gaya ng inaasahan ay muling bumagsak sa tubig si Kaise. Dahil nakahanda naman ako ay kaagad ko siyang nasalo at naibalik sa ibabaw ng surf board.

Karamihan sa mga bata ay takot na mapailalim sa tubig. Lalo pa kung sa tubig dagat. But Kaise has been exposed to the ocean for a long time. Minsan nga ay ako na mismo ang nahihirapan na pigilan siya kapag gusto niyang lumabas para pumunta sa dagat.

I want her to enjoy a lot of things, so as much as possible, I introduce her to other activities other than swimming. Aside from surfing and swimming, only drawing, coloring, and watching her favorite under the sea characters are sticking for now.

"That looks fun."

Nilingon ko ang pinanggalingan ng boses at nabungaran ko si Coal na hindi ko namalayang nakalapit na pala sa amin. Hanggang ibaba ng dibdib ko lang ang tubig pero dahil mas matangkad siya ay kitang-kita ko ang matikas niya na pangangatawan. We're not going to remember that night, Circe. We're not going to remember how you kept dreaming about that night for years.

"Daddy?" Kaise asked, looking at me.

"Yes, babi. That's daddy."

"See!"

Naiiling na napangiti ako at tinapunan ko ng tingin si Coal. "Panoorin mo raw siya."

Itinayo ko si Kaise sa surf board at sandaling binatawan ko siya. She stayed upright for a few seconds before she toppled back into the water again. Naunahan ako ni Coal na saluhin siya na kakikitaan ng pagkabigla sa mga mata.

"I saw her doing that from a distance. I thought it was scary then, pero iba pa rin pala kapag sa harapan ko na mismo," sabi ng lalaki nang ibalik niya si Kaise sa board at inupo. "She doesn't look scared, though."

"She loves it." Pinunasan ko ang basang mukha ng bata. "Show Daddy how to do a duck dive."

Kaagad na dumapa si Kaise sa surfboard at pilit niyang itinulak pailalim iyon. Since she's too small to do it, I helped her push the board down just in time for a wave to crash into us. Kaagad ko ring binitawan ang surfboard dahilan para bumalik siya sa paglutang.

"Sese, good?" she asked.

"Kaise's very good," I agreed before I turned to Coal. "She can't pronounce her name yet. I can't blame her, though. Her first and second names are a mouthful."

"Kailani Sereia, right? It fits her." Coal hesitated for a quick second before he gently brushed Kaise's hair with his fingers. Sobrang ingat na ingat siya na para bang natatakot siya sa sarili niyang lakas kahit sa simpleng paghawak lang naman. "Her name's beautiful, like her."

That reminds me. "Her surname... she's using mine—well, my parents'. Andino." I bit my lower lip. "We can still change that. Habang bata pa siya at hindi pa siya aware sa apelido niya."

"Is it okay with you?"

I didn't want that surname for myself. So, yes. I don't mind if my daughter doesn't need to carry that name. "Are you okay with it?" I returned.

He stared at me for quite awhile, his gaze soft again. "That will mean the world to me, Circe."

When I found out I was pregnant with Kaise, I was terrified. Not because I know that there are a lot of things that will change, not because my career will need to be put aside, and not because I know my parents will be livid.

I was scared because I don't know if I'm enough.

If I'm enough to be her parent, if it's okay that I couldn't give her a chance to meet her father, or if my love for her will be enough so that she will grow up without feeling like there's a part of her missing.

Seeing that Coal is trying and that he's doing better for a man who just found out she has a two-year-old daughter yesterday, it fills me with so much gratitude.

Even if we hardly know each other, even if we're basically strangers, and even if there's still a lot that we need to learn from one another, I'm happy to know that the father of my child seems to be a good person.

"Mommy, sup!"

Nahila ako mula sa isipin at nag-alis ako ng tingin kay Coal na katulad ko ay nakatuon din sa akin ang mga mata. I looked down at my daughter, who was pointing at the waves. "You want me to surf?"

"Sup!"

"I didn't bring my board because babi wants to swim. Next time na lang."

Unless may kasama ako ay surfboard lang talaga ni Kaise ang dala ko. It's not like I can just dump her on the shore so I can catch some waves.

"Mommy, sup!"

"I can watch her for you," Coal offered. "If you trust me to keep an eye on her."

It's not that I don't trust him. Kahit sabihing hindi ko pa siya kilala ng lubos ay duda akong pababayan niya si Kaise. He's built like he could save the world singlehandedly. "Kaise's a well-behaved baby, pero kapag nasa dagat 'yan biglang nagiging gremlin iyan."

He chuckled. "Duly noted."

"Gemyin?" tanong ni Kaise.

People used to tell me that Kaise is very good at communicating for her age. Hindi kasi namin siya sinanay ni Tala na kausapin na pa-baby. Pero kapag lumalaba ang pagiging bulol niya ay talagang naaaliw ako.

"Yes. Gremlin. It's like a small and makulit fairy."

"No! Sese, babi shak."

"You're that too."

Muling natawa si Coal. Even his laugh is attractive. "She can converse really well."

"When she likes the people around her. Kapag hindi, nagsusuplada 'yan at hindi nagsasalita."

Coal's eyes warmed. "Does that mean she likes me?"

"Of course. You're Daddy Shark after all."

Nakangiting tinapik ko siya sa braso bago ako naglakad pabalik sa buhanginan. Nope. I'm not going to think about how hard his arm was.

Naglakad ako sa kinaroronan ng mga gamit namin ni Kaise at kinuha ko roon ang di-zipper ko na rash guard top at ipinatong ko sa suot ko na itim na two piece swimsuit. Kumuha na rin ako ng pera. Pagkatapos no'n ay imbis na bumalik ng bahay ay nilapitan ko ang dalawang lalaki na nakasilong sa ilalim ng puno di kalayuan. Kaagad nila akong kinawayan nang makita nila ako na palapit sa kanila.

"Marajaw na buntag, Ma'am Circe," bati ng mas nakatatandang lalaki na si Danilo.

"Hello po. Mag-rent sana ako ng board. Nangungulit si Kaise na mag-surfing ako eh nasa bahay pa ang akin."

"Sige, Ma'am, pili ka lang. May wax na rin 'yan," sabi naman ni Jomar.

Inabot ko ang kulay asul na surfboard at akmang ibibigay ko ang bayad ko pero umiling ang mag-ama. Pumalatak ako at ako na mismo ang naglagay no'n sa bulsa ni Jomar. "Hindi pwedeng libre. Pang date na iyan ni Jomar."

"Eh kung papayag po kayong i-date ako," nakangising sabi ng binatilyo.

Binatukan siya ng ama niya na naiiling. "Asa ka pa. Nakita mo na ngang may kasamang nobyo."

Nilingon ko ang kinaroroonan nila Kaise at Coal. Nakangiting kinipkip ko sa akin ang board. "Hindi ko po boyfriend iyon. Tatay ni Kaise."

Halata ang pagkagulat sa kanila at bago pa sila makapagtanong ay nagpaalam na ako. Hindi ko rin naman kasi alam paano ipapaliwanag sa kanila kung bakit kasama namin ngayon ang ama ni Kaise. Hindi ko pa nga nasasabi kay Tala.

"Mommy!"

Dinutdot ko ang pisngi ng bata na humagikhik lang. I gave Coal a nod, and he smiled in return. His smile could power electricity better than SIARELCO.

I shook my head to clear my mind, and I mounted the surfboard expertly. I paddled away from the shoreline and closer to the surf spot. Siniguro ko munang malayo ako sa iba pang mga surfer para hindi ako makagambala sa kanila.

I pushed my board down under the water to do a turtle roll when I noticed an oncoming huge broken wave, and I rolled with my board on top of me. When I passed through the whitewash, I flipped the surfboard over again and continued paddling.

When I was content with my spot, I stopped and straightened into a sitting position while straddling the board. I stayed unmoving while eyeing the water in front of me.

There are a lot of ways to catch a wave. Some people say that you can analyze a wave pattern to be more efficient in finding one. But for me, I can just feel it. I can feel it coursing through my veins and pumping adrenaline all over me. I just know when it's mine.

I reach for my board's strap while keeping my eye on the ever-changing water. I attached it to my ankle just in time that I saw it.

My wave.

I turned my board toward the shore, and I started paddling back. Not so fast that I'm too far from the coming wave, and not so slow that it will wipe me off when it hits me. When I feel like I'm at the right distance, I easily pop up so that I can stand on the board.

For me, the hardest part is always finding the right wave. But when I catch it, the rest is just fun.

Instead of heading straight down the shore, I moved my board up and down the line, prolonging the ride.

Knowing that I'm being watched, I decided to make it more fun. Maybe I'm showing off a little. So sue me. As I glide up the water again, I maneuver my body up and launch myself into a full aerial rotation just above the wave, landing perfectly in a safe spot.

I did a couple more easier tricks before I finally let the waves carry me back to the shallow part of the shore.

Tinignan ko ang kinaroroonan nila Kaise at Coal. A quiet laugh bubbled out of me when I saw Coal behind Kaise, who's on top of her board, and he's using her hands to clap.

This feels better than winning in the Olympics.

_________________________________End of Chapter 4.