#DS6Unwavering #CirCoal #SharkFamily #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SAINT

CIRCE'S POV

The moment that I started to wake from my deep sleep, I knew that it was one of the rare few times that I was completely rested.

I know it's not because of the cool morning breeze coming from the open window, the calming chirping of birds outside, or the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

Hindi din dahil mahaba ang tulog ko dahil kung tutuusin ay halos wala akong naging tulog. And yet my body feels rejuvenated despite the dull ache between my thighs. It's all thanks to the feel-good hormones, aka endorphins and oxytocins. And well... I also have Coal's "monster" to thank for.

The monster that didn't just deserve the name because of its... girth and length, but also because of the stamina it apparently possesses

Nag-iinat na dumapa ako at sinilip ko ang digital clock na nakapatong sa bedside table. It's half past five o'clock. It's too early, and Kaise won't wake up anytime soon.

Inilibot ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. I didn't have the chance to look at the interior of the master bedroom since I was too preoccupied last night to care.

Katulad sa guestroom kung saan nandoon ang mga gamit ko ay mainly white at wooden colors lang ang meron sa kuwarto na ito. The fitted sheet and the duvet cover of the bed are white as well. The only difference is that the pillows and flat sheet are dark blue.

My attention went to Coal when he stirred in his sleep. Mahimbing pa rin ang tulog na umikot siya sa pagkakahiga dahilan para mapaharap siya sa akin. His arm moved towards me as if he were looking for me in his sleep, and he pulled me close.

Nangingiting sinuklay ko ang buhok niya gamit ng mga daliri ko. When he's peaceful like this, he almost looks angelic.

Aside from the version of him that is Kaise's sweet and loving Daddy Shark, I know what he looks like when he is his usual polite self with a slightly disinterested look when he's talking to people he's not sure what to make of. Then there's the serious Coal, the angry ogre that I just got acquainted with recently, and the Coal who just took me to different levels of pleasure hours ago.

He has the face of an angel, but he fucks like the devil.

"But right now you're Angel Coal." Nalukot ang ilong ko at mahina akong napatawa. Parang hindi bagay. "Saint Coal then?" Better.

Muli kong sinuklay ang buhok niya. I know I should take advantage and sleep more, but I just want to stare at him for awhile. It's not something I had a chance to do the first time we slept together because I hurriedly left before he woke up.

Natigilan ako at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang may maalala ako. Bago ko pa napigilan ang sarili ko ay malakas na nahampas ko ang braso ni Coal.

"What the—" Pupungas-pungas na tinignan ako ng binata. "What did I do?"

"It's what you didn't do!" I hissed.

He looks extremely bewildered. Hinihimas ang braso na nagsalubong ang kilay niya sa matinding konsentrasyon na parang pilit na inaarok niya ang utak niya sa maaaring naging kasalanan niya. "I think I did a lot last night. I even ate you—"

My face flushed with heat at the same time that another part of me did as well at the memory. "Coal!"

He groaned and hooked his arm around my waist. Hinila niya ako palapit sa kaniya at sumubsob siya sa leeg ko. "Let me sleep more, babe, and then I'll do to you later what I haven't yet."

"We didn't use protection!"

Nag-angat ng mukha ang inaantok pa rin na si Coal. He didn't seem to be feeling the same panic I am feeling. Either he's not bothered by having another child with me or his sleep-deprived brain is not processing it yet.

"I enjoy sex with you, Coal."

The corner of his lips went up. "I do too."

"Then do you think I'll enjoy it when I'm hormonal because I'm pregnant again? Unless you can turn your monster into a chocolate chip cookie, you wouldn't be able to stop me from crying! Do you think I'll enjoy it when I'm imagining what my poor vagina will have to go through when I give birth for the second time?! Is it fun to have someone's vagina shredded when a human being comes out of it?!" When a horrified look colored his face, I nodded vehemently. "Now you see? I might enjoy something going in and out of my body, but I prefer it to be your dick and not the head of a baby playing peekaboo!"

Napaupo siya at dahil nakayakap siya sa akin ay kasama ako sa naging pagkilos niya. "What do we have to do? Are you pregnant now?"

I blinked, and I stared blankly at him after. "Do you want me to bite you, Coal Dawson?"

A lazy grin spread on his lips. "Yeah."

Kumawala ako sa kaniya at humalukipkip ako. "Be serious, will you?"

He sighed loudly. "Is it really that bad to have another baby with me?"

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata. His lips pursed a little, and if it were another time than this, I would have found it cute. He looks like a child who has been admonished. "We have a two-year-old, Coal."

"We do, and she's the best baby in the world."

Aww— No! "We slept together years ago the first time that we met, and we had a child. We did all that before we got to know each other. We actually didn't even know each other's surname at that time. Ni hindi ko nga alam ang spelling ng pangalan mo noon! Magdadagdag na naman ba tayo sa listahan ng mga nagawa natin bago natin makilala ang isa't isa ng lubos?"

"Circe—"

"It's sweet that you don't mind having a baby with me again. Honestly. But I'm not ready yet. I love Kaise with all my heart, but I want to enjoy having her as my only baby for awhile, and whatever is this between us, before I need to think about another responsibility. And a child is a huge responsibility." Huminga ako ng malalim bago ako nagpatuloy, "I am lucky that I pulled through being a first-time mom with Kaise. Nang mga panahon na 'yon ay hindi pa dumaan sa isip ko na magkaroon ng anak. I haven't even put down roots yet. The biggest decision I was trying to handle at that time was buying a house of my own. But life happened, and I slept with a stranger, I had a baby before I dated and got to know someone, and I became a mother and got busy buying diapers instead of buying a house."

"Circe..."

"I'm not blaming you. Not then, and especially not now. I enjoy having this with you, and I'm not one to complain after the multiple orgasms you gave me hours ago. But I really—"

Siya naman ang pumutol sa sasabihin ko nang basta na lang niyang sakupin ang mga labi ko. Nang maghiwalay kami ay kita ko ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Coal. He gently brushed the tip of his nose with mine. "I got it, baby. What do you want me to do?" he asked gently.

"I know it's early in the morning, but I need you to buy me a Plan B." I bit down on my lower lip. "Though it didn't work the first time." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Aside from having a monster... thing, you also have a monster sperm."

Nangingiting hinalikan niya ang noo ko. "I'll go out and buy you one. I'll buy some condoms too."

"I know I should have been on the pill, and I will get on it soon, but it's not like I slept around before to need it. I dated once—"

"Don't." His face grew serious. "Don't talk about sleeping with anyone other than me."

"Well, I haven't." Pinagkrus ko ang mga braso ko. "Are you seriously getting jealous of Augustin again?"

"What can I say? I'm a jealous ogre." Isinandal niya ang noo niya sa akin. "We can go and get checked up. If you really want the pill, then that's okay, but if you want another option, we can ask a doctor what they recommend. If you don't feel comfortable with any of it, then I'll use the condom. Let's do what's safer for you."

"What if... what if the Plan B doesn't work again and I..."

He met my eyes, and his face softened. "Then this time we'll do it together. You won't be alone." Hinawi niya ang kulot na buhok ko palayo sa mukha ko. "My monster can't turn into a chocolate chip, but I'll buy all the chocolate chip cookies in the world for you. You can curse at me, bite me, and break my arm when a human being comes out of you and tries to rip you apart... but I hope it doesn't because I really love your pretty pu—"

"Coal!"

He chuckled and gave me another kiss on the lips before he exited the bed. He didn't seem to mind his nakedness as he walked towards the adjacent bathroom.

He has the face of an angel, a body of a god, and he fucks like the devil.

Tumagilid ako at itinukod ko ang siko ko sa kama. "Are you going to use your motorbike?"

"Yeah." He turned to me. "Why? Want to try riding it?"

"Would you let me?"

"On one condition."

"What?"

He winked at me. "You can ride it after you're done riding the owner."

PAGKATAPOS ko na siguraduhin na tulog pa si Kaise ay tumuloy ako sa living room para sana magluto ng almusal. Kanina pa nakaalis si Coal kaya at siguradong gutom na 'yon pagbalik. Magpabili na lang kaya ako ng breakfast?

I was on that thought when I reached the living room and realized that I didn't need to worry about breakfast anymore. Gising na rin pala kasi ang pamilya ni Coal at kasalukuyang abala sa kusina sina Lia at Ember.

Thorn, Gun, and Trace stayed for the night with their wives. Sina Pierce at Axel pati na ang mga asawa nila, at sina Domino at Luna naman ay kinailangan ng bumalik sa Tagaytay dahil may kailangan din silang asikasuhin ngayong araw. Aside from that, hindi kasi raw pwede na lahat sila ay mawala sa kompanya nila ng matagal.

"Good morning," I greeted them. Lumapit ako kila Lia at sandaling napatitig ako sa ginagawa nila. Almusal ba 'to o binili nila sa restaurant? "Can I do something to help?"

"We're almost done cooking," Lia said with a smile. "But you can help set up the table."

Napatitig ako sa mga isinasalin niya na pagkain sa lalagyan. "You cooked all these?"

"Yup. Ember made vegan options as well since she's vegan." Inabot niya sa akin ang isang lalagyanan na puno ng fried rice. "I think sakto naman sa atin ang mga 'to. Kung nandito 'yung iba baka kulangin. Coal really needs to buy groceries."

Kukulangin pa 'to? Sa dami ng niluto nila parang pwede na kaming magtinda sa labas ng ilan. If the two of them could cook like this, they really could open a restaurant. Parang pang piyesta na kasi sa dami ang mga inihanda nila.

"Saan nga pala pumunta si Coal? Narinig namin kanina ang motor niya na umalis," tanong ni Lucienne na nakaupo sa high stool at nakapalumbaba sa center island.

"M-May binili lang sa labas."

Her smile turned teasing. "So kamusta naman ang gabi mo?"

"Lucienne!" Lia admonished quietly.

"What?" Inosenteng kumurap ang manunulat. "Tinatanong ko lang naman kung kamusta ang tulog niya. Since nasa ibang lugar at bahay siya."

Ember chuckled, clearly not believing the other woman. "Right."

Lia shook her head. "Maybe she slept peacefully alone," she said, trying to defend me.

"Asus. Para namang hindi ko alam na konektado ang balcony ng kuwarto ni Circe at ni Coal." Tumaas ang kilay ni Lucienne. "At kung kay Pierce nagmana ng kaharutan si Coal, sa tingin mo kanino siya nagmana pagdating sa—"

"Lush!"

Humagikhik ang babae nang mamula si Lia at binalingan ako. "Lia might look like a dainty queen, but she's not. Kaya huwag kang mag-alala. Hindi 'yan na-e-eskandalo. Mas wholesome pa ako kesa riyan." Lucienne grinned at the woman who just sighed in defeat, a smile of her own teasing her lips. "And if Gun is a dragon that should have been extinct eons ago, then Coal is the world's first ever fire-breathing shark. In short, he's an anomaly. Sometimes he's as serious as Thorn, grumpy and a horn dog like Gun—" Sandaling tumigil ang babae nang mapahalakhak si Lia. What the singer didn't do was disagree. "—flirty at suplado like Pierce, he has a soft spot for those he cares about that he sometimes reminds me of Axel, minsan kasing kulit siya ni Domino, and it appears he has a lot of secrets and a penchant for surprise like Luna."

"Bakit wala ang asawa ko?" natatawang tanong ni Ember.

Lucienne staged-groan. "Kailangan ba? Ampon naman 'yon." Kunwari ay napipilitan na bumuntong-hininga si Lucienne. "He could be funny like Trace. Pero normal level lang si Coal. Si Trace kasi nasa clown level na."

"Ang aga-aga, niyuyurakan mo na naman ang pagkatao ko."

Sumulpot si Trace na buhat ang mukhang kagigising lang na anak na si Kairos Lucian, which most of them call fondly "Lush Jr.".

"Tsupi. May pinag-uusapan kami," pagtataboy ni Lucienne na tumayo at basta na lang kinuha ang bata.

"Ibalik mo 'yan. Anak ko 'yan," reklamo ni Trace.

Inabot ni Lucienne ang saging na nasa harapan at itinutok niya 'yon sa lalaki. "Hawak ko ang nanay niya. Huwag kang kikilos ng masama o hindi ko na sila ibabalik."

Dinutdot ni Trace ang noo ni Lucienne bago siya lumapit sa asawa at hinalikan ang babae. As if knowing we needed the privacy, he gave Lucienne one last sharp look before he walked out of the house, where the others were lounging near the pool.

Binalik sa akin ng manunulat ang atensyon niya. "Papadalhan kita ng mga libro ko. Basahin mo ha? Makakatulong iyon para maintindihan mo ang mga trip ng mga Dawson." Nang makita niya ang pagkalito sa mukha ko ay ngumisi siya. "Treat it as a Dawson 101 guide."

"Sinulat niya kasi ang love story nila ni Thorn," paliwanag ni Lia. "Pagkatapos no'n ay pinagkakitaan niya rin ang love stories namin."

Mukha namang hindi na-offend si Lucienne at sa halip ay nag thumbs up pa siya na parang proud na proud. These people is really a weird bunch but it's not hard to like them. Para silang si Tala na may dugong out of this world. Alien kumbaga.

"So..." Lucienne moved her eyebrows up and down like a villain. "Saang pintuan ka lumabas? Sa guestroom o sa masters bedroom?" When the two women groan in exasperation, Lucienne purses her lips. "Kung okay lang naman sa'yo na sagutin. Kung hindi, well, I'm still going to ask but... respectfully."

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at napatawa na rin ako. May tao kaya sa mundo na nakakatanggi sa kaniya? "I went out of the fire-breathing shark's room."

Niyakap niya si Kairos Lucian at tinakpan ang tenga ng bata bago siya impit na tumili. Even Ember and Lia are doing their own versions of Lucienne's "kinikilig" reaction.

"May tanong pa akong isa." When I just smiled at her, Lucienne took it as a go signal. "Si Thorn kasi may longtime girlfriend siya noon. As in nag-invest ng feelings si Bossing Thorn since akala niya magkakaanak sila. Iyon pala iba 'yung tatay nung bata."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. The woman nodded as if she understood what I was feeling. "Hindi man marami ang ex ni Thorn pero meeting that one ex of his woke up this violent part of me that rarely comes out unless I'm writing gore. Kaya ang tanong ko..." Binalingan niya ang dalawa pang babae. "Sa inyo rin actually... eh hindi ba kayo bothered na ang daming babae sa pasts nila. And what if you meet them?"

"Not really." It was Lia who spoke first. She looks thoughtful for a moment, like she's really taking the question seriously. "When Gun and I were in the middle of getting back together, though of course at that moment I wasn't aware that was what was happening, it bothered me a little. Kahit pa sabihing karapatan niya naman iyon dahil ilang taon na kaming hiwalay. It's normal since we have a past. We were together for a long time, we broke up, and I was stuck loving him while he was dating other people. But it wasn't his fault. I was the one who broke up with him. Sinaktan ko siya. Though I was hurting too, it's not like he knew the real reason why I chose to hurt him." She gave us a small smile when we all became quiet. "He was trying to mend his heart the only way he knew how. He was trying to move on from me because I didn't leave him much choice. It was taking me longer because I was the one that left and not the one that got left behind."

Pakiramdam ko ay may pumipisil sa puso ko sa mga binitawan niya na salita. I know they're happy now, but it's like she's letting us see a part of their lives that's been difficult for them.

"And you?" Lucienne asked Ember. "Kahit na medyo masama ang loob ko dahil alam kong pupuriiin mo si Trace."

Ember chuckled, but she shrugged after awhile. "The women that came into Trace's life before I met him, even those that friendzoned him, don't really bother me. It doesn't make sense to blame him for something that happened before me. It actually made me love him more. Kasi kahit hindi man siguro naging maganda lahat ng paghihiwalay nila, but most of the people in Trace's past have no animosity toward him. He tried his best to end his relationships without losing respect for the other party. Saka kung may aaway man sa akin na ex niya, baka bago pa ako makakilos nagawan na ng paraan ni Trace. He hates anything that hurts me, and he's not above breaking what he believes in if that means protecting me."

I really need to read Lucienne's books. Pakiramdam ko magiging kulang ang buhay ko kapag hindi ko nabasa ang mga libro nila. The way they talk about their husbands is heartwarming.

"Circe?"

Napakurap ako at nilingon ko ang manunulat. Mukhang naghihintay din siya sa sasabihin ko.

"Not that Coal and I are anything more than being co-parents to Kaise and well... uhh... two people that occasionally..." I clasped my hands together as if it would explain anything, and they laughed in response. "But I don't mind about his history when it comes to dating or... fucking." I gave them an apologetic look, but they didn't seem bothered by my phrasing. "He has every right to be with anyone he wants to be with. I don't think he's the kind of person to promise forever to someone when, in truth, he's just looking for a one-night stand. He wouldn't promise forever if it's casual he really wants."

"Pero minsan hindi naiiwasan na may nasasaktan. Kasi umaasa sila," sabi ni Lucienne.

"If they agreed on becoming casual but the woman wanted more, is it really Coal's fault? Kung umpisa pa lang sinabi niya na kung ano lang klaseng relasyon ang kaya niyang ibigay? If someone wanted more when he couldn't give more, of course he's going to break it off, and of course it's going to hurt. But it will hurt more if Coal doesn't let go early, even though he knows that's all he can give."

"Eh kayo?"

Sandaling natigilan ako sa direktang tanong ng babae. It's a question that I need to face later on, even if I don't think about it now.

Dahil kami ni Coal... wala kaming agreement. We actually have more things to consider because we can't mess this up. Not when we have a child together.

"You're scaring her," Ember whispered.

"No," I said, clearing my throat. "No. It's a valid question, and it's something Coal and I need to talk about, so I really can't tell you much. Kasi ngayon hindi ko alam kung anong meron kami. Hindi ko alam kung casual din ba ang ine-expect niya sa akin. He could be confusing since his actions tell me otherwise, but... I don't know." Huminga ako ng malalim. Don't panic, Circe. "I'm not built for casual. Not now that I have Kaise. At saka hindi ko alam kung paano 'yon mag wo-work. It's not like we can have a fuckathon and disappear in each other's lives later on. Hindi pwede 'yon kasi may anak kami."

Lucienne grimaced as if regretting her question. "Circe—"

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo ko at nagpalakad-lakad ako. "Pero kanina lang we were talking about another baby." They all gasped, but I didn't notice since I was trying my best not to hyperventilate. "Kaya nga pinabili ko siya ng Plan B kasi nakalimutan na naman namin gumamit ng condom. Can you believe that? Parang hindi pa 'ko nadala. Anyway, he didn't seem to want casual if he's talking about not minding having another baby with me, right?"

"Right," magkakasabay na sabi nila.

"Maybe we are both just trying to discover what we are. I might not like casual, but it's not like I'm all set up for a serious relationship as well. I need to have some time to wrap my head around it at least."

I closed my eyes for a moment, and I inhaled a huge breath. I know myself too well. Imagine the waves, Circe. Calm down, and you'll catch it soon.

"Circe?"

Nagmulat ako ng mga mata at binigyan ko ng maliit na ngiti si Lucienne. "I like him, and his actions tell me that he feels the same way. Whatever this is and wherever it will take us, we will work on it. Even if it means we'll be together or we will end what we have. Kasi hindi lang kami ang importante. Meron din kaming Kaise."

They all stared at me as if they were looking at another anomaly. I can't blame them. Moments ago, I was starting to lose it, and I looked like a woman who was about to have a hysteric.

"You're kind of perfect for him," Lia said in a quiet voice after awhile.

Ember nodded her head in agreement, while Lucienne's face lit up as if I had done something that she really liked.

"Let me tell you something, Circe." Nangingiting marahan na hinaplos ni Lucienne ang buhok ng bata na karga niya. "I have no doubt that Coal will cooperate if you want to talk to him about everything. Lalo pa sabi mo nga may bata rin sa pagitan niyo. He has a colorful dating life, but we never see him the way he is with you. And we love what we see. We love that all his changes happened because he wanted to be better for you and Sese. You have nothing to worry about."

I knew she wasn't done. I know that she could rattle my world with just a few sentences. She's already doing it, and she doesn't even know.

She has that aura. She's observant in a way that she understands so well.

"Sometimes being with a Dawson could get confusing. Isang araw ang nasa isip mo ay wala namang kayo. That the kiss, his words, and his touch are not enough to say that you're together. That's the problem kapag walang label. Then one day you'll wake up and realize that the label wasn't necessary. Not when they don't consider anyone else to be in their life but you. Mahirap nga lang paniwalaan sa umpisa kasi parang ang bilis, parang biglaan, parang imposible." Inabot niya si Kairos Lucian kay Ember bago nakangiting humarap siya sa akin. "What I mean to say is that you should take it one step at a time. Walang problema na pag-usapan niyo. But you really wouldn't know unless you let fate take you both on whatever course it has prepared for you two. Until then, each question answered will be replaced by another question. You'll have moments of clarity and moments of doubt. Days where you have a strong conviction in what you have with him and days when it feels like it's falling apart. Through it all, you'll learn in your own way what a Dawson could do for you."

_________________________________End of Chapter 13.