#DS3Unscripted #BelayaxPierce #LKCouple #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER 39: BURN

BELAYA'S POV

I can't help but stare at the woman in front of me.

She's wearing a strapless wedding gown with a corset bodice and a princess drop with a fifteen foot of train. Kumikinang iyon sa bawat galaw niya. What with the five hundred thousand gold flecks sequins scattered around the gown and two hundred thousand swarovski crystals. Even the veil was embroidered with thousands of them. Her hair was gathered into a low chignon with tendrils whimsically falling around her face. Her makeup was simple, romantic, and natural. She has a light rose gold eyeshadow, a right amount of blush, but she's donning her trademark red lipstick.

She's the same person in my reflection for as long as I existed but at the same time... she's also different... happier. She looks beautiful. I look beautiful. But I know that nothing can beat the beauty shining in my eyes.

"Hindi ka kaya ginawin niyan?"

Napatingin ako sa pintuan at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita ko kung sino ang nakatayo ro'n.

"Kuya Ram!"

Akmang tatakbuhin ko ang distansiya sa paligid namin pero hindi naging madali iyon dahil sa bigat ng suot ko. Naiiling na inangat niya ang isang kamay na para bang sinasabing 'wag na akong gumalaw at pagkatapos ay siya na ang lumapit sa akin.

I haven't seen him for months. At least si Ate Vodka nakita ko pa months ago. They weren't kidding when they said that they were busy.

"Akala ko hindi ka makakapunta."

"Pwede ba naman 'yon? Eh di sinermunan ako ni Mommy," sabi niya at ikinulong ako sa mga bisig niya.

Katulad kay Kuya Cross ay halos hanggang dibdib niya lang ako. Kaya walang naniniwala na triplets kami eh.

"Nasaan na nga ba sila?" Tumingin ako sa wall clock ng hotel room. "Maaga pa ah? Bakit nandito ka na? Miss mo ko?"

"Hindi." Nang sumimangot ako ay tinawanan niya lang ako. "Papunta na 'yung mga iyon. Nauna lang ako kasi sinundo ko pa sa ospital si Kuya Cross. Kasunod ko lang 'yon may kausap lang siya sa baba na kakilala niya." Bahagya niya akong nilayo sa kaniya at pinakatitigan ako. "May suot ka na ba na heels? Bakit ang liit mo pa rin?"

"Mabigat ang gown ko pero kaya pa rin kitang sipain kung saan ka masasaktan."

Tatawa-tawang lumayo siya bago pabagsak na humiga siya sa kama. Ininunan niya ang ulo niya sa mga kamay niya at prenteng tinignan ako. "Nasaan ang groom mo?"

"Nasa kuwarto niya. We can't see each other before the wedding remember?"

"Sus. Kahit siguro tadhana lalabanan mo matuloy lang ang kasal. This is your dream wedding. Your BEE that you keep on reminding us. Beautiful, Extravagant, and Expensive."

I rolled my eyes at him. I looked back at my reflection and I straightened my gown. "I don't want to take any chances."

Hindi siya kaagad nakapagsalita. Alam kong naiintindihan niya.

"Everything will be fine you know that right?"

Naglakad ako papunta sa upuan na malapit sa vanity mirror na nakaharap sa kaniya at umupo ako roon. "I know."

"What happened before-"

"Was an accident." Nginitian ko siya nang bumalatay ang pagkagulat sa mga mata niya. "I'm happy now, Kuya. I know Jackson would want this for me. He loved me and he always wanted me to be happy. I loved him and there's no reason for me to be unhappy anymore whenever I think of him."

Kuya Ram is the most outgoing out of the Lawrence siblings. He's like a replica of our father. Pero alam ko kung gaano siya nag-aalala sa akin. He has a lot to do but he always try to keep an eye on me lalo pa noong mawala si Jackson.

"Don't stress the bride, Ram, kung ayaw mo na mag transform 'yan into Bridezilla."

Si Kuya Cross ang nagsalita na nakasungaw ang ulo sa hindi nakasaradong pintuan. Nakaangat ang sulok ng labi na pumasok siya at lumapit sa kinaroroonan ko. Akmang tatayo ako pero itinulak niya lang ako sa noo gamit ng hintuturo niya.

"Sit down munchkin before you fall because of that gown and break your neck. Magalit pa sa amin ang future husband mo," sabi niya.

"Oo nga," nakangising sabi ni Kuya Ram. "He actually scares us a little bit. Biruin mo may lakas siya ng loob na pagalitan si Ate Vie?"

"Cowards," I said with a pout before I gave my oldest brother a sharp look. "And don't call me munchkin."

Tumaas ang kilay ni Kuya Ram. "Wow para na siyang others. Samantalang ang future husband mo Kitten and tawag sa'yo."

"Iba 'yon. Close kami."

"Close din tayo, unfortunately. We shared our mother's womb for nine months remember?"

"Paano ko hindi maaalala eh iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ako maliit?! Inagawan niyo ako ng sustansiya!"

Malakas na napatawa siya habang si Kuya Cross ay naiiling na napangiti. Iyon kasi ang laging sinasabi sa akin ng grandparents at mga Tita at Tito ko.

"Pinakamagandang best friend coming through!"

Lahat kami napatingin sa pinto nang humahangos na pumasok si Mirea. She's pulling her huge luggage bag habang ang isa niyang kamay ay may hawak na dress bag na sinabi ko sa wedding coordinator ko na ibigay sa kaniya kapag nagkita sila. Galing pa kasing Paris si Mireia.

"I know I'm late but I need a bath like right now. May bata sa business class kanina na ngayon lang ata nakakita ng pagkain kasi akala ata may buffet ang eroplano at nag binge eat. After that he vomited all over the place," nalukot ang mukha niya sa pandidiri. "I need a bath."

Tinuro ko ang bathroom at sumaludo siya bago basta na lang niya inangat ang suitcase niya sa tabi ni Kuya Ram na nakahiga pa rin sa kama. Balewalang naghalughog siya ro'n bago niya nahugot ang hinahanap niya. Iyon nga lang ay may tumalsik na kung ano na nasalo naman ng napaupong kapatid ko.

"Umm..."

"Oops sorry," nagbaba ng tingin si Mireia sa hawak ni Kuya Ram. "Nahawakan mo na ang underwear ko. Pwede mo na akong panagutan pagkatapos ng kasal ni Belaya. Maybe next year para hindi sukob."

Animo napaso na binitawan ng kapatid ko ang hawak niya at nagmamadaling tumayo para lumayo sa babae. Naiiling na napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. Ilang beses ng na-meet ni Mireia ang mga kapatid ko at sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay hindi niya pinalalagpas ang chance na asarin si Kuya Ram o si Kuya Cross. Alam niya kasing ilag sa relasyon ang dalawa kong kapatid. Kuya Ram loves his bachelorhood and Kuya Cross is married to his job.

Tatawa-tawang pumasok ng bathroom si Mireia. Nang sumarado ang pintuan ay lumingon sa akin si Kuya Ram. "Kailangan ng boyfriend ng best friend mo."

"Nag vo-volunteer ka?" tanong ko.

He shuddered at the thought. "Do I look crazy to you? I know the antics you did with her. You're a headache but Mireia is like a brain tumor."

Napatawa ako sa sinabi niya. I was still laughing when the door opened again. Pumasok doon ang dalawa ko pang kapatid. Si Ate Vie ang unang pumasok pero para lang gumilid dahil sa tila ipo-ipo na dumaan sa tabi niya.

I'm lucky I was sitting or my youngest sister would have knocked me down.

"Ate! You look so pretty!"

Nakangiting tinapik ko ng marahan ang ulo ni Reika. She's our sweet youngest sister but I'm sure that in a few years time she'll be a badass like Ate Vie.

"No'ng sinend mo ang picture ng gown mo nag worry ako kasi ang laki. Ang liit mo pa naman paano kung hindi mo kayanin isuot? O kaya hindi ka na makita? Pero bagay naman pala. You look like a princess! Tita Storm is a genius by making this dress for you!"

Kumibot-kibot ang labi ko. Kahit kailan talaga hindi nila pinalalagpas ang pagkakataon na ipaalala sa akin na ako ang pinakamaliit sa pamilya namin.

"Nasaan pala sila Mommy?"

Si Ate Vodka ang sumagot sa tanong ko. "Susunduin ka nila mamaya."

Napakunot ang noo ko. I thought they'll come here first. Masyado pang maaga bago ang ceremony pero since nandito na lahat akala ko pupunta na rin sila.

"Pero nasaan sila?"

"Nasa baba." Nang makita niya ang pagkalito sa akin ay bumuntong-hininga siya. "Pierce's family talked with them. Kaya maaga kang pinaayusan. Isa pa mabuti ng mamaya kayo magkita nila Mommy kasi baka ngayon pa maisipan ng nanay natin na itapon sa bulkan si Daddy kapag nag moment 'yon pagkakita sa'yo."

I opened my mouth to ask more but before I could we heard a knock on the door. Nang bumukas iyon ay pumasok ang nakangiting si Luna na may dalang kung ano. Sa likod niya ay naroon si Axel.

"Is everything okay?" tanong ko sa babae.

"Yes, of course. Ako lang talaga ang official welcome committee ng mga Dawson," natatawang sabi niya. Lumapit siya sa akin at sa pagtataka ko ay ganoon din si Ate Vie. Mukhang magkakakilala na sila base na rin sa basta na lang pag-abot ng kapatid ko ng kung ano kay Luna. "This is your something new. A gift from your sisters."

Napaangat ang kilay ko at tinignan ko si Ate Vie. She sighed and look at Reika pointedly. "I bought it but Reika was the one who chose it."

Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa bracelet nang si Luna na ang mismong magsuot sa akin no'n. It's a simple diamond tennis bracelet but there's about seven star beds around it that are a centimeter apart from each other. It looks beautiful. I never saw my eldest sister wear any jewelry that's why I was surprised.

"For your something borrowed," Luna clipped a blue heart enamel pin on my gown.

My eyes went to my brother Cross when I recognized the pin. Sa pagkakatanda ko ay binigay sa kaniya iyon ng pasyente niya noon. The first patient he lost. Hindi niya iyon hinihiwalay kahit kailan sa kaniya.

"Kuya..."

"Kapag nawala mo huwag ka ng magpapakita sa akin."

Sa kabila ng panlalabo ng mga mata ay napatawa ako sa sinabi niya. I turned my attention back to Luna. Kinuha niya kay Axel ang box na hawak kanina ng lalaki at binuksan niya iyon. I'm pretty sure I let out a gasp when I saw a drop earrings with a royal blue sapphire nestled with a halo of diamonds inside.

"For your something blue and old."

"Luna, I can't..." I don't need to ask to know that the jewelry probably cost a lot. If it's old then it's probably a heirloom in their family.

"It's yours." Inabot niya ang kamay ko at pinisil niya iyon. "My mother wanted it to be yours." Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at nagpatuloy siya. "She left me jewelries to give to the women that my brothers will choose someday. Before Kuya Pierce proposed to you he already asked me about this. This is yours now, Belaya."

My eyes got cloudy when she reached for me. Marahang inilagay niya sa magkabila kong tenga ang hikaw bago nakangiting umatras siya para tignan ako.

"Kuya said that my mom wore this on her wedding. She would have love for you to have it."

"But don't you want it? I mean-"

"I have mine too don't worry." She squeezed my hand gently again before he turned to his brother. "Now you need to come with him. May kailangan kasi kayong puntahan."

"Puntahan?"

"It's part of the tradition since he's Kuya Pierce's best man. Lucienne and Lia knew about this. You'll know when you get there. Doon ka na rin susunduin ng mga magulang mo. Nag-usap na kami kanina and they agreed."

Inilahad sa akin ni Axel ang kamay niya at saktong pag-abot ko ro'n ay bumukas ang pintuan ng banyo. Lahat kami ay napatingin doon at sa pagkagulat ng lahat ay lumabas si Mireia na nakatapis lang ng tuwalya. Halos sabay na tumalikod ang mga kapatid ko na lalaki. Pero napalingon ako kay Axel nang maramdaman kong humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko.

Nagtatakang tinignan ko siya pero wala sa akin ang atensyon niya kundi sa kaibigan ko. He's not looking at her like most men would in this kind of situation. It's different and confusing... because he's looking at her the way Pierce looks at me.

"Axel Dawson?!"

Napapitlag ako sa malakas na boses ng kaibigan ko pero mas lalo akong nagulat nang wala akong nagawa kundi bitawan si Axel dahil nakalapit na sa amin si Mireia at bigla na lang siyang niyakap. I heard Axel gasped like life was forced out of him. I can see his jaw hardening at the same time that he froze when Mireia wrapped her arms around him.

Bago pa mawalan ng malay si Axel ay mabilis akong kumilos at inabot ko ang nakatali na buhok ni Mireia at hinila ko siya palayo.

"Aray! Belaya what the hell?!"

Kumilos si Kuya Cross at ibinato niya kay Mireia ang robe ko na nakalagay sa gilid ng kama. Nang kunot ang noo na tinignan lang iyon ng babae ay napapabuntong-hininga na akmang isusuot 'yon ng kapatid ko sa kaniya. Iyon nga lang hindi niya nagawa iyon nang umangat ang kamay ni Axel at pinigilan siya.

May kung anong nagdaan sa dalawang lalaki pero si Kuya Cross na ang unang kumilos. Inabot niya ang roba kay Axel na kinuha naman iyon.

"Prudes," Mireia said before she took the robe from Axel and wear it. Nang balingan niya ang lalaki ay lumawak ang ngiti niya. "I can't believe this! Ang tagal na nating hindi nagkita. Belaya said that her beau has brothers. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ko naisip na baka isa ka ro'n. You're a Dawson too. Akala ko nagkataon lang."

"Magkakilala kayo?" nagtatakang tanong ko.

Nilingon ako ni Mireia. "Oo naman. Schoolmate kami. Dati nagpapaprint ako sa kaniya kasi may sarili siyang printer. Alam mo naman noon. Dukha ang lola mo. Buti na lang nagmagandang loob siya kasi naabutan niya ako minsan na nakikipagtalo sa printingan sa school. Limang piso ba naman kasi isang papel. Mga buwayang 'yon."

"Wala naman kami noon na prin-"

Halos mapaatras si Luna nang sa pagkakataon na ito ay ang nakaladlad niyang buhok ang hinila ni Axel. Binigyan siya ng matalim na tingin ng binata bago niya ako binalingan. "We need to go."

"Pero maaga pa," sabi ko at tumingin ulit sa wall clock. "It's an hour and a half before the wedding."

"May kailangan tayong puntahan."

Nagtataka man ay tumango na lang ako. Kinuha ko ang inabot sa akin ni Reika na bouquet. It's a mix of blue, gold, and white flowers.

"Pupunta dito ang coordinator ko mamaya. Tell her to call the make up artist," I told Mireia.

"Don't worry about me. Mamaya mas maganda na ako promise. Pero siyempre hindi kasing ganda mo kasi araw mo 'to kaya mag a-adjust ako." Kinindatan niya si Axel na bigla na lang namula ang mukha pababa sa leeg niya. "See you later, Axel."

Kinawayan ko ang mga kapatid ko hanggang sa tuluyan na akong naigaya ni Axel palabas ng kuwarto na hindi man lang lumingon pabalik. Bumaba kami sa lobby at nang makalabas kami ay naghihintay na sa tapat ang kotse ni Axel.

Tinulungan niya akong makasakay sa back seat. Imposibleng magkasya ako sa unahan dahil sa laki ng gown ko. Halos inabot kami ng sampung minuto bago namin nagawang masiguro na nasa loob na rin ng sasakyan ang buong gown ko.

"So..." panimula ko nang paandarin niya ang sasakyan. "You know Mireia?"

"Yes."

"I wonder why she never told me about you."

"Maybe because I'm not that important to her."

Napakurap ako sa tono ng boses niya. He sounded bitter. Bahagya akong lumapit sa kinauupuan niya para magawa kong silipin ang mukha niya.

"Pero importante siya sa'yo?" Malakas na napabuntong-hininga siya at napangiti ako dahil sapat na iyon na sagot para sa akin. Mananahimik na sana ako pero may bigla akong naisip. "Wait. Siya ba iyong tinutukoy ng mga kapatid mo na first love mo."

"Belaya-"

"Omg! It's her right? Pero ang akala ko nagmadre iyong first love mo?" Napatawa ako sa isiping iyon. "Imposibleng si Mireia iyon. Kung nagmadre ang babaeng 'yon baka first week pa lang pinalabas na siya."

Hindi siya nagsalita pero nang sinilipin ko siya ulit ay nakita kong nag-iigting ang panga niya. "Don't tell me..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Napasandal ako sa kinauupuan ko habang umiikot sa utak ko ang mga posibilidad. Walang tinatanggi ang lalaki. I don't think he's the kind of person that is used to lying specially if asked directly. Kung ganoon... si Mireia ba talaga ang magmamadre sana na first love niya?

Nahugot ako sa mga isipin nang huminto ang sasakyan. Sa labas ay palubog na ang araw. Gabi kasi talaga ang oras ng kasal.

Bumaba si Axel at tinulungan niya ako para makalabas ng kotse. Napakunot ang noo ko nang ilibot ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. "Umm... Axel, pwedeng pakipaliwanag kung bakit nasa sementeryo tayo? Kasi masyado pang fresh sa utak ko ang birthday noon ni Lucienne. I can't exactly run with this dress."

May inilabas siya mula sa bulsa niya at binuksan iyon. Napanganga ako nang makita kong chocolate bar iyon na basta na lang niyang isinubo. "Kaya sabi ko kaila Kuya na kanina na dapat kitang umaga dito dinala. Ang kulit lang nila eh. Sino bang matinong tao ang pupunta ng sementeryo ng gabi?" Napapabuntong-hininga na inabot niya ang kamay ko at ikinawit niya iyon sa braso niya. "Let's just get this over with."

Tahimik na naglakad kami papasok ng malawak na sementeryo. Thankfully it was properly lit kaya hindi naman gaanong nakakatakot ang nilalakaran namin. We went straight to the huge tree at the center of the place.

The fear instantly melted when I saw the tombs in front of us. Napatingin ako kay Axel at binigyan niya ako ng maliit na ngiti.

Liana Irene Dawson.

Nikolas Clarence Dawson.

"This is for you."

May inabot siya sa akin na sobre at kaagad namasa ang mga mata ko nang mabasa ko ang nakasulat doon. It's addressed to the woman that Pierce will choose for himself someday.

To the woman that my son Pierce will love someday,

I wish I could meet the woman that my third son will choose to love and be with. I wish I could but unfortunately it's not possible for me. But I want you to know how important you are to me and how I love you because I know that if he gave you this you're the person that is making him happy right now.

Out of all my children, Pierce is the one that always take everything into his heart. He never take anything lightly. Sa mga mata ng iba masungit siya at parang walang pakielam sa paligid niya, but the truth is... he feels so much. Maybe even too much.

He took the news about my health harder than anyone but he always tried to hide it from us. He never cried and he didn't acted differently towards me. Like he didn't want his pain to burden me. He's protective of his family because nothing's more important for him than us.

He's always been restless as if he's continuously searching for something. He's also been picky about things. Kasi kapag nakapili na siya hindi niya na iyon basta-basta binibitawan. He stood by his decision and he commit on things that he chose. That's his strength but sometimes it's his weakness too. He could be stubborn because he don't know what to let go of.

Over the years I watched how other people used that against him. Girlfriends that will lie to him and friends that eventually will stab him on the back. He couldn't let go of them that easily because he chose them. He always wanted to believe that things could be fixed if he will just try hard enough as if that's his sole responsibility.

It worries me that his maturity will hurt him more than it should. That he will be cut over and over again and suffer for the things that he shouldn't and in the end he'll be the only one hurting. It worries me that the things he's carrying will eventually pin him down into a darkness that he will be trap in alone.

But with you I know that it won't happen. With you I know that someone will be beside him even the world turn its back on him. It won't matter because even if the world disappear he'll still feel like he has everything because of you.

I wish that you're the kind of person that was loved all her life. A person who grew up with people behind your back whenever you needed them. Because if you do, you'll be the kind of person that won't mind to give back and pour that light of love into him. Pierce grew up giving... and I selfishly want him to start receiving.

There's nothing I want more for him but to have your love. To have you during his bravest time and to have you during his vulnerability.

I won't ask that of you if I didn't know that he will love you in a way that his heart will call for your soul. He will carve your name into his palm if that what is needed to tie the lines of your paths together that even fate won't be able to contest.

He will stay strong beside you that not even the harshest wind can sway. He will stay unbreakable and even darkness can't separate you two from each other. He will move heaven and earth and he won't wait for the stars to align to get to you. He will arrange them himself and create his own constellation if needed just to be with you.

You mean so much to me. I wish I could witness after being restless for all his life how he's finally calming to rest his wings because of you... your love where he found his home. They said that you can only see the stars at night. I wish in his you'll be that. His only light. Because he'll burn just to be that for you too.

There's nothing I want more but for you two to have the kind of love that will shine brighter than the stars. For that... I will always be thankful.

Love,

Liana Irene Dawson.

Nakita ko ang panic sa mga mata ni Axel nang lumingon ako sa kaniya. I know that my eyes are pooling with what seems like endless tears.

Nag-aalangan na tinapik niya ang balikat ko na parang hindi pa siya sigurado sa ginagawa at sa kabila ng lahat ay napangiti ako sa ginawi niya. I turned back to the tombs.

"I promise. I promise that I will always love him. It's not hard to do so. I thought it wasn't possible for me to love this much again but he made it possible. And you're right. Buong buhay ko pinuno ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko ng pagmamahal. I always wanted more... I seek for more. I enjoyed being loved. That's why I am who I am. That's why I chose the life that I lead by. But I know that right now... I could lose fame, there could be no one to remember my name, and the spotlight of my world can crumble down... but it won't matter as long as I'm with Pierce." Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa sulat. A letter that feels like it was written for me. "I'm not as strong as my siblings. I cry too much and I could be a baby sometimes. I can be unreasonable and hard headed. I don't know if I could be a domesticated person since I can't even cook. But I know that I'll do everything to make a home for us. For me, him, and your grandson and your future grandchildren. I know what it feels like to be restless... to keep searching for something that I can't even name. I found the answer because of him. So I promise you. I won't let go of him."

"Who said you're not as strong as your siblings?"

Napalingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses at lalong nag-unahan sa pagpatak ang mga luha ko nang makita ko ang mga magulang ko.

Naunang lumapit sa akin si Mommy at marahang pinunasan niya ang magkabila kong pisngi. To my surprise, her eyes are glimmering with her own tears. "There's no competition. You have your own strength, Belaya. We know that since you were young."

"Mom..."

"You lost so much in your life. Not just Jackson. You always loved your great grandparents and I know it took a lot from you when you lost them. You're a crybaby but you never cried in front of us. You will greet us with your happy smile because you know we're hurting, you'll joke around to keep our minds on other things, and you always try to be there for your other siblings. You were just a baby back then, too young to even understand the gravity of a loss, but somehow you did, and you became the anchor of everyone." Marahang hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko. "We didn't want that for you. We didn't want you to handle your pain alone. But that's just you... that's how you are... and even if we're your parents we don't know what to do but stay with you. With Jackson it was harder. Kahit anong gawin namin ayaw mong ibigay sa amin ang sakit na dala-dala mo."

"You always wanted to be the light for everyone." Sa pagkakataon na ito ay ang ama ko ang siyang nagsalita. "That's why we're so glad that you finally found your own. With Pierce we saw how you burn brighter than you ever did before. Because of him we know that we don't need to worry anymore because he'll do the same for you."

They said that you can only see the stars at night. I wish in his you'll be that. His only light. Because he'll burn just to be that for you too.