#DaggerSeries #LiaxGun #DS2Unstrung

A/N: Warning: Read responsibly.

CHAPTER 14: LOST STARS

LIA'S POV

Halos hindi ko malunok ang kinakain ko na tinapay. Gun is sitting in front of me. Siya ang naghanda ng almusal. He called me over when he was done cooking. Nasa isa ako sa mga guest room niya kung saan ako nagkukulong nitong mga nakaraang araw. Kapag siya naman ang nasa opisina niya ako naman ang lumalabas. Minsan umuupo lang ako sa isa sa mga lounger malapit sa pool at minsan lumalabas ako ng kuwarto para manood ng TV na hindi ko naman naiintindihan ang mga pinapalabas dahil wala roon ang isip ko. But I never cooked again.

Iyong mga niluto ko na lasagna pinilit kong kainin lahat ng kaya ko. Some of them I know he ate and some his brothers did. Ilang beses kasing bumalik si Axel at Trace pero hindi na ako nagpakita sa kanila.

I hope I can say that the week passed by quickly but it didn't. It was full torment. Bawat oras ata binibilang ko at umaasang kinabukasan ay masosolba na ang problema ko para makabalik na kami lahat sa normal naming mga buhay.

"Life didn't became unfair to us, Lia, but you did."

Para pa ring patalim ang mga iyon na patuloy sumasaksak sa akin kada maaalala ko ang mga salitang iyon. I wanted to defend myself at the same time that I don't. Gusto kong magpaliwanag pero hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba.

"Aalis ako mamayang six o'clock. I have a meeting with my brothers. You can come with me and stay in my office but the meeting will end late. Baka madaling-araw na kaming matapos." Basag niya sa katahimikan pagkaraan. "Or you can stay here."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya pero hindi man lang umangat ang mga mata niya sa akin. He's looking at his own food as if the cure for cancer is there.

"Is that safe?" I asked.

"As long as you don't open the gates no one can enter this place. Napapalibutan ng security cameras ang buong property. If anyone as much as approach the gate, someone will see in Dagger's control room. There's a police station nearby and they will be alerted immediately."

His house is a paradise. The room I'm using even has a great view of the beautiful volcano and the lush nature. But there's no mistaking that this place is like a fortress too. I just don't know if this place is serving to keep everyone out or keeping me imprison inside.

"Okay," I whispered.

Sa pagkakataon na ito ay tumingin siya sa akin. Walang kahit na anong emosyon na makikita sa mukha niya. "Okay what?"

"Okay, I'll stay here so you'll have the chance to breathe the air that you don't need to share with me. Hindi ko rin kakailanganin na magkulong sa kuwarto para lang masiguro na hindi magiging burden ang presensiya ko sa iyo."

"Look-"

Umiling ako at bahagyang itinulak ang upuan na kinauupuan ko. "I get it, Gun. I really do. But please just stop pretending that you don't hate me when I can feel the truth. Please stop being nice and acting that you're extending a hand to me only to slap mine so the sting can remind me over and over again of the things I did in the past."

"I'm just doing my job. Hindi ko trabaho ang kaibiganin ka."

"I know. Alam ko naman 'yon. What happened between us is something that can't be fixed. I'll try not to be a complete fool when I keep on forgetting. 'Wag kang mag-alala. Hanggang hindi pa natatapos ang lahat ng ito gagawin ko lahat ng kaya ko para hindi mo maramdaman na kasama mo ako. You were right. I was unfair and I'm still being unfair. I deserve all this." Tumayo ako nang maramdaman ko ang pamumuo ng mga luha sa mga mata ko. I saw something crossed his eyes but I decided to ignore it. "But let's be clear, Gun. There's no way that you can hate me more than I hate myself."

Hindi na ako nag-intay ng iba pa niyang sasabihin at nagmamadaling dumiretso na ako sa kuwarto ko. When I was inside at the comfort of my room, instead of hiding under the soft covers on the bed, I went to the huge glass windows. Hinawi ko ang kurtina at pagkatapos ay lumapit ako sa bedside table. May kinuha ako roon na kwintas at pagkatapos ay umupo ako sa carpeted na sahig habang nakatanaw sa salamin na bintana.

Niyakap ko ang mga tuhod ko at ipinatong ko ang baba ko roon habang nakatingin sa malawak na tanawin na nasa harapan ko. Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko para mapigilan ang kahit na anong ingay na umalpas mula roon habang ang mga mata ko ay tuluyan ng pinakawalan ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

There's three reasons why we broke up. Why I let him go. Why I walked away. Three reasons that robbed me of a chance of being with him. Tatlong rason na hanggang ngayon ay pinagbabayaran ko pa rin.

One is the reason I told him. Lies that I made him believe. The second one is the truth that I was forced to face. And three... the reason that even now I can't let myself admit. Not to him. Not to anyone.

For a moment, I looked at the black necklace with dried flowers in it. The only thing that reminds me of my real reason. Of the truth.

"All I want is you Lia."

"Sa ngayon, Gun. Sa ngayon iyan ang gusto mo. Pero paano bukas? Paano sa susunod? You want a family and I don't want that. Just the thought of having that scares me so much. Alam mo kung anong klase ng pamilya ang kinalakihan ko."

"You're not your mother and I'm not your father."

"But I am their daughter. I am made by the blood that I hate. Kahit anong gawin ko hindi ko iyon mababago."

Hinawakan ng lalaki ang kamay ko at hinila ako palapit sa kaniya. I let him. I let him because I want to feel his touch.

Umangat ang kamay niya at naramdaman kong dumampi iyon sa pisngi ko. I closed my eyes for a moment. Savoring his touch... letting myself have this even for the last time. Ngayon na lang. Huling beses na lang.

"It can be just the two of us. I don't care, Lia. I just want you with me." Marahas siyang bumuntong-hininga. "I didn't know that this is an issue. I thought you want it too. You looked happy when I told you that I want children with you. We talked about it a lot-"

"You were not looking enough!"

The tears that fell from my eyes weren't pretend. Nagmulat ako ng mga mata at sinalubong ko ang sa kaniya. Kita ko ang sakit sa mga mata niya at nakikita ko rin doon ang sumasalamin na sakit na nagmumula sa akin.

"Gun, ayokong nakawin sa iyo ang bagay na iyon. I want you to have that. Someday you'll find a woman that will give you what I couldn't. Dadating ang panahon na papanoorin mo ang mga anak mo na masayang tumaktakbo at naglalaro sa harapan mo." I forced the words out of my mouth. Mga salitang para bang lason na unti-unting pinapatay ang puso ko. "And in your arms, you'll have that woman that gave that all to you. You're happy and contented. You have the world. And maybe you'll think of me when that time comes. You'll think of me and you'll know that I'm right."

"No."

He tugged on my hand, his arms coming around me. Mahigpit niya akong niyakap habang ang ulo niya ay nasa leeg ko. I can almost taste my own blood when I bit down on my lip so hard it almost break my skin. He won't let go. I know he won't.

I need to make him let me go.

"I can't be with you anymore. Kapag kasama kita pakiramdam ko sinasakal ako. Being with you makes me feel like my wings are being cut out off me again. I grew up knowing that pain. I escaped from that. Don't make me endure another life like that, Gun."

Naramdaman kong lumuwag ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin pero hindi pa rin siya bumitaw. "Lia... please."

"I love you." Pinahid ko ang luha mula sa mga mata ko pero hindi pa rin iyon maampat. Even with all the lies, I know that I can never taint that words. I love him. I love him and that will never change. "I love you but that's not enough for me to stay. I need to have my life back. I may not be like my parents but I want a life that I don't need to run myself ragged. You can't give me that. You can barely keep your company alive. Paano ako kung hindi mo naman kayang ibigay lahat ng kailangan ko?"

I felt his hand falling away from me. I closed my eyes knowing that it's working. My words are working. But they are also hurting him.

"Please don't be another mountain that I need to overcome. Let me go."

I can remember clearly the look on his face that day. I can remember the pain in his eyes. I can remember how he believed everything I said.

Nang mga panahon na iyon ay kasalukuyang hindi maganda ang stado ng Dagger. Him and his siblings lost their father because of a case. Kasabay no'n ay bawat kunin nilang trabaho ay nagkakaroon ng problema. Their reputation was in a slum. Halos wala na ngang pumapasok sa kanila na trabaho at kung meron man ay hindi nagagawa iyon ng maayos. Every time it's like someone is trying to sabotage their work.

That's my second reason. It was my family doing that.

After years of not talking to me, my parents reached out to me only to say that I need to cut Gun loose. Of course I didn't want to. Bakit ko bibitawan ang taong mahal ko? Bakit ko siya bibitawan samantalang naging masaya lang ako sa buhay ko dahil kasama ko siya?

But what they said pushed me to the lies that I needed to tell Gun. O mas tamang sabihin na ang pinaalam nila sa akin ay naging isa sa mga nagtulak sa akin para gawin ang ginawa ko. Another proof how I keep failing everyone around me.

My father has a connection to the syndicate group that Gun's father was investigating. My own father was involved in criminal activities. Hindi man siya ang gumawa nang kung ano man na nangyari sa tatay nila Gun ay hindi ibig sabihin no'n wala silang kontribusyon sa mga pangyayari.

My parents were just like a fence for the syndicate. All the drugs are being transported to them and from them, they distribute it to other interested individuals. Hindi sila ang eksaktong iniimbestigahan ng tatay ni Gun.

Gun's father was investigating the main source. It wasn't the drugs that he was after; It was the girls. Mga babaeng dinakip ng grupo para ibenta. Though my father weren't involve with that since the only part he has was the small part of the operation it still turned my stomach at the thought of his involvement.

I can't even stand the thought of them now. Dahil sinong matinong magulang ang hihingin ang bagay na hiningi nila sa akin? Malayo sila sa akin pero ang lason na meron sila ay kaya akong abutin kahit saan pa ako magtago

They wanted me to break up with Gun because they're covering their asses. That's it. At the expense of my own happiness.

"Do you think you're different from us? It's us that made you. Sooner than you thought he will realize that. One morning he will wake up and see you for who you are. Broken and tainted. At higit sa lahat maaalala niya araw-araw ang pagkawala ng tatay niya dahil sa'yo."

Those were the words my father told me after I refused to let Gun go.

Gusto kong sabihin na iyon ang tanging rason kung bakit ko pinakawalan si Gunter. That it's because of my family. Sana iyon na nga lang. Na iniwan ko siya dahil nasusuklam ako sa katotohanang mismong ama ko ay may koneksyon sa grupong naging dahilan nang pagkawala ng ama niya.

But that's not it. That's not the main reason. The third reason... my truth. My own doing. The truth that until now is killing me.

Pinahid ko ang mga luha sa mga mata ko at tumayo ako. I went to Harper's cage to let her out. Kaagad siyang lumipad pero imbis na magpaikot-ikot katulad ng kadalasan niyang ginagawa ay dumiretso siya sa balikat ko.

"I'm fine, Harpz," I whispered.

When I went out of Gun's life, I made sure that my parents will stop whatever their doing to sabotage Gun. Iyon ang kasunduan. They will stop whatever they're doing to ruin the company that is important to Gun and in return I will stop seeing him. Pero ang pinakamabigat na rason nang pagtigil nila ay sa tingin ko ay sa katotohanan na ilang linggo pagkatapos ko na makipaghiwalay sa lalaki, Dagger started investigating the syndicate group and this time with the help of another agency. They managed to neutralized all the operations of that illegal organization. Hindi nila nagawang mahuli ang mga nasa itaas but they managed to do a lot of damage. Enough for the syndicate to disappear.

My parents, however, were quick enough to wash their hands. They're old money. It's not difficult for them to find a way to severe their connections to the crime.

But the third reason... it made it stronger that leaving him was the right choice. Kahit hindi ko gusto. The guilt, pain, and the shame... it made it too much to stay. Dahil sa pagkakataon na ito ako ang nagkamali. Walang ibang dapat sisihin kundi ako. With the pain that I endured for years and everything that's happening to me now, there's one thing I am sure of.

I'm not done paying.

I CAN FEEL the strain on my shoulders and arms but I ignored it. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pabalik-balik na paglangoy. Unang beses kong magagamit ang lap pool ni Gun. Kanina pa kasi siya nakaalis. At dahil sa akin ang buong bahay ay naging malaya ako na gawin kung anong gusto ko.

Ang sabi niya kaninang umaga ay madaling-araw na siya uuwi. That means I don't need to imprison myself in my room.

I didn't cook still pero hindi naman kailangan dahil nag-iwan siya ng pagkain para sa akin. Food that of course tasted delicious. He made a pot roasted chicken. I could eat the entire pan of that and I will still ask for more.

Hinihingal na tumigil ako sa paglangoy nang muli akong makarating sa isang dulo ng lap pool. I brushed my wet hair away from my face and looked up at the night sky. Kitang-kita ko ang kumikinang na mga bituin na nagkalat sa kalangitan. Even the moon looks so bright and clear here.

I can stay like this all night and I wouldn't mind. Heated ang pool kaya kahit malamig ang klima rito sa Tagaytay ay hindi ko iyon alintana. Besides it's not that cold tonight than the other nights that I spent here.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Nagsimula na akong umahon sa pool. Hindi ako pwedeng masyadong magbabad sa tubig. Gabi na rin. Mamaya magkasakit pa ako. Sa lahat pa naman ng ayoko ay nagkakasipon o ubo dahil nababago no'n ang boses ko.

The coldness of the air instantly hit me when I got out of the pool. I was only wearing a white two piece. Dali-daling tinungo ko ang robe na ipinatong ko sa isa sa mga lounger at ibinalot ko iyon sa sarili ko. Inabot ko rin ang tuwalya para ipunas iyon sa basa kong buhok.

I was drying my hair when I saw my phone buzzed. Umupo ako sa lounger ng pool at napakunot ang noo ko nang makita kong numero iyon ni Damian. He emailed me days ago and I gave him my new number. Nangangamusta kasi siya dahil napag-alaman niya ang balita.

"Hello. Lia, are you there?"

"Yes," I answered. "Napatawag ka?"

Sandaling hindi siya nakapagsalita pero pagkaraan ay rinig ko sa boses niya na tila nahihiya siya. "I was busy with my business this past few days. Gusto kita sanang tawagan noon pa para kamustahin kaya lang ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon."

Sa pagkakataon na ito ay ako naman ang hindi nakaimik agad. Inangat ko ang mga tuhod ko at pinatong ko roon ang isang braso ko habang ang isa kong kamay ay nakahawak pa rin sa telepono. "I'm okay, Damian."

"You don't sound okay."

I sighed and despite everything, I managed to smile. "I should be okay. Buhay ako at hindi ako ang pinagluluksaan. I should be thankful but I can't. I lost one of my closest friend. She died when it should have been me."

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth. Lahat na lang ng importante sa akin kinukuha. It's like the world keeps on telling me that I deserve a life full of lost and pain."

Damian and I are not friends. We're not close. But it's so easy to talk to a person that is more of a stranger to me. Kasi walang mawawala sa akin. Kapag tinalikuran niya ako... hindi ako masasaktan. It's just like telling the wind what I feel. The only difference is someone is talking back.

"Lia, what happened to your manager was because of a sick and vile person. It wasn't your fault."

"Alam ko iyon. Pero minsan nahihirapan akong tanggapin."

I heard him sigh at the end of the line. I know that he understands. Minsan kasi sa buhay kahit alam natin ang totoo, kahit alam natin ang mga rason, pakiramdam natin responsibilidad natin na may magawa. Sana may nagawa tayo para pigilan ang kinahantungan.

Pakiramdam ko kasi lagi akong nawawalan. Paano ko hindi iisipin na baka ako nga ang dahilan kung pakiramam ko sobra-sobra na ang parusa?

"I wish I can see you right now," he said after awhile.

Damian is a good person. I can feel that. Hindi siya katulad nang una kong naisip noon. Anyone would be lucky to be with him. His future girlfriend or wife would be lucky. Hindi ko lang alam kung kaya ko na maging iyon para sa kaniya.

"Damian..."

He sighed and when he speak again there's a smile in his voice. "You're going to blow me off."

"I just-"

"I knew it the very first time I saw you. I saw it in the pain in your eyes when you were singing your original song. Alam ko pero sinubukan ko pa rin. Because despite your pain and the walls around you, I know that you're a good woman. That's why I tried."

"I wasn't trying to play any games. I just don't know if I can... not right now. I don't know if I will ever be ready."

"But can you do one thing for me?" he asked.

"What is it?"

"Don't decide now. I can just be here as your friend. Your one call away date when you need one, a person you can talk to on the phone when you feel like it. Iyon lang."

I looked up at the sky again. "I don't think that would be fair to you. What if I found someone else and that someone is not you?"

"Then I'll be happy for you."

"That's not fair."

"Being with you even if it means being just your friend isn't a sacrifice. If you end up giving us a chance then that will be great. Pero kung hindi magiging masaya pa rin ako para sa'yo."

I'm right. He is a good man. Sa populasyon na meron ang mundo baka wala pa sa five percent ang mga taong katulad niya.

Ilang mga tao ba ang patuloy na naglalakbay sa buhay at may makakatagpo na akala nila ay taong magbibigay sa kanila ng sobrang kaligayahan? Para lang sa huli ay malaman nila na hindi pala totoo ang mga inakala nila sa umpisa.

There's a lot of people in the world pretending to be the right one for you. There's a high chance that you will meet a lot of frauds before you find the real one. Maraming kaya na magsimula ng relasyon pero hindi lahat kayang panindigan.

Now I met Damian and I know he's a good man but my stupid heart keeps on pinning for someone that couldn't be mine again.

"If I date you, I will do your head in. I'm impulsive with a lot of things. Isang araw gusto ko na nasa bahay lang, sa susunod nasa malayo na akong lugar. I can sometimes be intolerable because I argue about a lot of things."

"I have a private plane. We can go wherever you want." Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. Walang halong pagmamayabang ang pagkakasabi niya no'n. He's just stating facts. "And I find the last part hard to believe."

Pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko. "Believe it. Also, I cook too much food. I'm aware but I hate cooking small portions."

"I love eating. Walang matitira sa lahat ng lulutuin mo."

"I love hiking. If we started dating, you need to come with me."

"I have a sport manufacturing company. I'll get our gears ready."

Tuluyan na akong napatawa sa sinabi niya. Mukhang wala talaga siyang balak magpatalo sa lahat ng sasabihin ko. It's like he's convince na kahit ano pang sabihin ko ay hindi no'n magagawang palayuin siya sa akin.

But I know my own heart. I know it the moment I saw a pair of eyes across that bar years ago. There's no one else for me. Kahit hindi pa siya maging akin ulit ay sa tingin ko hindi ko na magagawa pang magmahal ng iba. I thought I could. For a moment I thought I could move on but I know now that it's just impossible.

"Ang swerte ng babaeng magiging sa'yo," sabi ko pagkaraan.

"As any man would be to you."

"Damian-"

Hindi ko natapos ang dapat sasabihin ko nang maramdaman ko ang paghila nang kung sino sa hawak ko na telepono. Impit ako na napatili at kaagad akong tumayo para lumayo pero sa gulat ko ay si Gun ang nalingunan ko. Nagliliyab sa galit ang mga mata niya habang nakatingin sa akin.

Napaawang ang mga labi ko nang bigla na lang niyang initsa sa malayo ang cellphone ko. I heard a splash on the pool so without even looking I know that it's completely submerged in water.

"Y-You... what do you think you're doing?!"

Imbis na sagutin ako ay naramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa akin. Hinila niya ako papasok sa bahay at dahil sa higpit nang pagkakahawak niya sa akin ay wala akong nagawa kundi magpatangay na lang sa kaniya.

"What are- what's happening, Gun?"

Marahas na binitawan niya ako at hinarap ako. I can feel the anger pulsating from him. Ano bang nangyayari? Ano na namang ginawa ko?

"Bakit ang aga mong umuwi? Akala ko mamaya ka pa?"

"You said you're not with him," sabi niya imbis sagutin ang tanong ko.

Naguguluhang sinalubong ko ang mga mata niya. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito ang inaakto niya at hindi ko rin maintindihan kung anong ibig niyang sabihin. "What?"

"You said you were not dating him!"

Napapitlag ako sa naging pagtaas ng boses niya. Other women will probably cry or run away. But I'm the kind of person who gets riled up when someone is shouting at me when I know I haven't done anything wrong. Not what I'm being currently accused of at least.

"I wasn't!" I shouted back. "Are you crazy?! You just threw my phone! I get that you're angry at me. I know that you hate me. Alam ko lahat ng iyon dahil alam ko ang rason! But you're here angry at me and I don't even understand why!"

"You know why!"

"No I don't!" I brushed my hair up in frustration. "I don't even know why you're here. Di ba hindi mo nga matagalan ang presensiya ko?"

"I came back early because I don't like the way we left things this morning. I don't even like what I said to you days ago. I acted like an asshole and I wanted to make it up to you. And now this? You're standing at the house that I made for you and you're talking to another man and planning your date with him!"

I felt my entirety freeze at the words that came out of his mouth. Napaatras ako habang ang mga mata ko ay inilibot ko sa paligid namin. I already saw the beauty of his house but now I'm seeing it differently.

Naaalala ko iyong mga panahon na sinabi ko sa kaniya na gusto ko ng bahay na maganda ang view. I told him I want to be surrounded by nature. I told him that I want a house that looks open so it won't make me feel suffocated like the house I grew up to. I told him I want a lot of spaces. I also told him my dream kitchen.

His house is mine.

It was my dream that's why it feels so familiar even if I didn't recognize it at first. Even when I didn't see it for what it is.

"Gun-"

Hindi ko ulit nagawang tapusin ang sasabihin ko. But this time it's because of a completely different reason. Ikinulong niya ang singhap na kumawala sa akin nang bigla na lamang niya akong hilahin palapit sa kaniya para sakupin ang mga labi ko.

I know I should have pushed him. I know I should have tried to stop him.

Pero hindi ko kaya. Not when I've been missing this for years. Not when I sometimes wake up at night remembering his touch only to find an empty bed beside me. For years I kept on thinking the last kiss that I didn't know would be the last.

I miss him so much. I miss him in a way that I never felt whole. Not until tonight. Not until now that I'm in his arms again.

Ramdam ko ang mga luha na pumatak mula sa mga mata ko kasabay nang pagbuka ko ng mga labi ko para sagutin ang halik niya. It's been years since I've been kissed but it's like every part of me remembers.

I felt his strong hands under my legs and in the next second he hoisted me up. Mahigpit na kumapit ako sa mga balikat niya habang ang mga labi namin ay nananatiling magkahugpong. I felt him moved and I heard a crash but I ignored it.

Another loud sound echoed around us followed by the cold and hard touch of wherever he put me on top. Sadaling kumalas siya sa halik namin. Then suddenly the robe I was wearing was torn away from my body.

"Fuck," he whispered.

Nagmulat ako ng mga mata. I saw his staring at my body with hunger. So much hunger that I can feel heat of anticipation started pooling between my legs.

I reached for the string of my bikini and his eyes snapped up at me. Hindi nag-iiwas ng tingin na kinalas ko ang suot ko. I let it fall because my hands are busy reaching for Gun. Humawak ako sa suot niya na t-shirt at hinila ko iyon mula sa pagkakasuksok no'n sa pantalon niya.

Inilusot ko ang kamay ko sa ilalim ng shirt niya. When I finally felt his skin beneath my palm, all I can do is bit down on my lower lip. Pinagapang ko ang palad ko sa matigas niyang dibdib, pababa... hanggang sa maabot ko ang sinturon niya. Pero pinigilan niya ako. He held my hand away from his body and he pinned it on my side. Iyon din ang ginawa niya sa kabila ko pang kamay. The position made my body thrust forward, my breasts in full view.

"Fuck," he said again. Binitawan niya ang mga kamay ko pero nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. "Keep your hands there, Lia."

I can hear my own breath quickening. This is us. This is how we were. We always fight when it comes to a lot of things but in the bedroom... he's in charge. He let me play sometimes but he always... always, take control.

Just like I want him to.

Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa gilid ng mukha ko. Pinagapang niya iyon pababa sa leeg ko, sa balikat, sa gitna ng dibdib ko, pababa hanggang sa halos maabot na niya ang tela ng natatanging saplot na suot ko.

"Gun..."

"Don't move your hands."

Ikinuyom ko ang mga kamay ko para pigilan ang mga iyon na gumalaw. I want to touch him. I want to pull him to me. But I also don't want to lose his touch.

His fingers are trailing fire all over me but at the same time they felt like water. Giving me life again after years of staying parched. It was fire and water. Goodness of both combined enough to drive me crazy.

I can't help but arched my back when his hand glided up this time, the heat of his palm stopping on one peak of my breasts. I can feel my eyes getting heavy but I stopped myself from closing my eyes. Gusto kong makita ang ekspresyon niya. Gusto kong makita kung paanong magningas ang apoy sa mga mata niya. I want to see the want in his eyes... eyes that are now only for me.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered.

His words are telling me to prevent this from happening but his action is saying otherwise. Nagpatuloy sa paglalakbay ang mga kamay niya pero nananatili akong hindi kumikilos sa pusisyon na itinalaga niya para sa akin.

I didn't dare move my hand but I raised my legs and wrapped it around him to pull him close to me. Kita ko ang pagbalatay ng gulat sa kaniya pero kaagad iyong napalitan ng pagnanasa.

"Tell me to stop, Lia," he said again.

"Never."

A cry came out of my lips when his head leaned down to me and his mouth covered my hard nipple. I can feel my own nails on my palm as I try to stop them from reaching to him. Instead I stayed there, my legs around his hips, my hands on my side, and my body arched towards him as if offering myself to him.

I felt his teeth nipped my sensitive peak while his hand went to the tiny material I'm wearing. He didn't delay. He moved it to the side, his fingers reaching for the most sensitive part of my body.

Sandaling pinakawalan niya ang dibdib ko at marahang nagpaulan ng mga halik pataas. Tumigil lang siya ng maabot niya ang leeg ko. I can feel his breath on my neck when he whispered. "Is this for me?" he asked, his fingers feeling the wet between my legs.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

It's like I can hear his voice asking the same thing to me before. And with all the things I miss when it comes to him, I also miss that.

"Yes. Always."

Just like before, his eyes flashed at that. Nagpatuloy siya sa ginagawa habang ako ay nananatili sa kinaroroonan at unti-unting tinutupok nang nagliliyab na apoy sa pagitan namin. But it was an endless fire. Burning me but not enough to pulverized me into ash. It was a kind of burn that I am willing to feel again and again.

"Let me move."

"Not yet," he said.

"Please."

His eyes met mine but he didn't stop what he's doing. He continued playing with my center with no intention of stopping. "Not yet."

I didn't know what exactly. Maybe it was his fingers... or maybe it was his eyes that are staring at me intently. But after a few more strokes, I began to fall apart. My body trembled as I throw my head back, my lips crying out in ecstasy.

Iyon lang ang iniintay niya dahil sa sumunod na sandali ay naramdaman ko ang paghila niya sa natitira kong suot. I felt him unbuckling his belt and when I opened my eyes, I saw him tugged down his pants. I got a glimpse of his hard flesh for a moment. Just a glimpse because the next thing I know he was inside of me.

"Hold on to me," he said on my ear.

Kaagad kong inangat ang mga kamay ko at mahigpit na yumakap ako sa kaniya. He pulled himself out of me, the friction sending a delicious feeling all over me. He pulled to the hilt until I am impatiently moving my own body to catch back what I've lost. But I didn't need to wait long. Dahil sa isang mabilis na galaw ay muli niyang pinasok ang kaibuturan ko.

We made love a lot of times before and I miss that. But I also long for this. When everything is raw... and wild.

I cried out again when he suddenly took my weight again. Inangat niya ako at binuhat habang nananatili pa rin kaming magkakonekta.

Rinig ko ang pagbagsakan nang kung ano pero hindi ko magawang pagtunan ang mga iyon ng pansin. All of me is centered to what he's doing... what he is making me feel.

Naramdaman kong naglakad siya pero hindi iyon naging madali para sa kaniya dahil pilit ko pa ring iginagalaw ang sarili ko upang maabot ang bagay na alam kong hindi magtatagal ay makukuha ko rin. I felt him stopped moving and then he pinned me to the hard wall on my back.

"Please... please. I need it," I said, my voice turning rasped.

He grunted as an answer. His hips started moving, pulling out almost completely only to ram his huge length inside me. My nails scored on his back as I tried to hold on and move with him. Sinalubong ko ang bawat galaw niya at sa kabila nang posisyon namin ay umindayog ako sa saliw ng musika na siyang sinusunod niya rin.

Everything about him feels like he is made for me. We fit perfectly.

I know when I first saw him that he's the one I want to give myself to. No. That's not right. I know the very first time that we met that he already owns me. My body is his, my heart is his... and even my soul... it's all his completely.

The distance I made sure to have between us, the years, me leaving and hurting him... it didn't changed that.

Naramdaman kong dumulas siya pababa. Hinila niya ako para mapasunod din ako sa kaniya. We were met by the cold floor but I didn't care.

He pulled my legs to his side and with me on top of him, he held each side of my waist and pulled me up his manhood and down again until I have his entire hardness jammed inside me. I grasp tight on his shoulder while my other hand is tangled through his hair. Katulad noon ay hinila ko ang tali ng buhok niya.

I whimpered when he let go of my waist and instead his strong arms tightened around me. With each upward thrust of his hips, he pulls me down to his waiting thickness.

"Gun... I'm going..."

"Wait."

"I-I can't."

"Baby you can," he said before claiming my lips again.

He swallowed all my cries as he keep on pounding me. Bumaon ang mga kuko ko sa likod niya dahilan para marinig ko ang mahina niyang pag-ungol. He let go of my lips only to lean down on my shoulder. His pace began to quicken... his breath turning ragged.

He's close and I am waiting on the edge. He's so near to me and I know we will fall at the same time.

"Let go," he rasped.

My head jerked up as I felt his teeth bit down on the flesh of my shoulder. I cried out his name as my nails dug deeper on his skin, my body moving on its own, building and building the climax that I am so near to.

It didn't took us long. I heard his groan at the same time that I felt my body quivered on top of him. My release was so long but he let me have that. He let me take my pleasure and when he felt that my climax was subsiding, I felt him pulled out.

I watched with my heavy eyes as he stroked his own cock. It was so beautiful but I couldn't help myself. Inabot ko ang kahandaan niya at pinaikot ko ang kamay ko roon. I moved my hand up and down his length, feeling my own slick wetness on it.

Naramdaman ko ang isa niyang kamay sa ilalim ng baba ko. Saglit na nagtama ang mga mata namin bago niya sinakop ang mga labi ko. I kissed him with all I got, giving it all while my hand didn't stopped moving.

He kissed me so long that I almost out of breath and then a gasped echoed from me when his teeth nipped my lower lip, his body becoming taught under me, as his warmth exploded on my hand.

This is us. Fiery... wild... and dirty. This is us before I took it all away.

"Don't."

"What?" I asked.

Naramdaman ko ang mga labi niya sa tenga ko. His lips touched the skin beneath my ear and then it went down again and this time he kissed my jaw. "Don't think."

"Gun-"

Nag-angat siya ng mga mata sa akin. Wala ang galit doon, walang pangamba... walang kahit na ano kundi ang apoy na hindi pa rin naapula nang namagitan sa amin.

"We need to clean up. After that I'm going to eat you."

Shit.

____________________End of Chapter 14.