#DaggerSeries #LiaxGun #DS2Unstrung

CHAPTER 13: EDELWEISS

LIA'S POV

A few years ago...

Pinigilan ko ang luha ko sa pagpatak habang nakatingin sa labas ng binatana ng taxi na sinasakyan ko. I didn't look back. Kahit na alam ko na palayo na kami ng palayo sa bahay na kinalakihan ko. Hell, I'll be lying kung sasabihin ko na hindi ako natatakot sa desisyon ako. I'm frightened but that's how I know that I'm doing the right thing.

"Let yourself fly, Adelia."

Those were my grandmother's words. Lagi niyang sinasabi sa akin iyon noon. Hindi ko nga lang buong naiintindihan dati. But now I know what she meant.

It's frightening to face the world full of possibilities. Dahil ang mga posibilidad sa mundo ay hindi laging positibo. There's always a possibility of failure. But if I stayed inside the walls that my parents built for me, I would never be anything. Hindi ko magagawang malaman kung ano pang kaya kong gawin lalo na sa klase ng mga magulang na meron ako na pilit kinokontrol kung ano lang ang puwedeng maging ako.

I need to let myself fly. I need to let myself be free.

And now here I am. The life I was born with is now at my rear view. I have nothing but my valid IDs, documents, clothes that can fit my duffel bag, my phone, guitar, and a wad of cash that is not safe to carry but I needed to because my parents might cut off my cards. I have enough to last for a few weeks and enough for me to be able to check in to a temporary place. I don't need a week. I just need a few days and I'll have what is mine.

Technically I'm still a minor. For only a few days at least. Kapag nag-eighteen na ako ay makukuha ko na ang trust fund ko. I can use that to start my own life.

Pwede ko naman intayin iyon. I could wait a few days before leaving but I just can't. I need to breathe. I need to be away from those people. Mga magulang ko na hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kahit minsan ay hindi naging magulang sa akin. They are not even decent enough to act as the family of my grandmother who just died. Wala silang ibang inalala at pinag-uusapan kundi ang mana na gusto na nila makuha. They make me sick.

Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa cellphone ko na hawak ko nang maramdaman ko ang pag-vibrate no'n. It was a text message from an unregistered number. Binuksan ko iyon at saglit akong napatitig do'n habang binabasa ang mensahe.

Instead of answering, I looked out of the window again.

My life is changing. My grandmother was right. She was always right. Hindi pa ako nagtatagal na kumawala sa hawla kung saan ako nakulong ng matagal ay tila unti-unti ng nabubuo ang piraso ng bago kong buhay.

My life is changing because finally... I'm learning to fly.

Hello, Lia. It's really nice to finally hear from you again.

We were wondering how you were doing. Why

don't you visit our office so we can talk about what we

could offer you here in Crimson Artists United?

-Travis Carlton

NAALIMPUNGATAN ako nang maramdaman ko ang paghinto ng sasakyan. Bahagya pa na nanlalabo ang mga mata na tinignan ko ang ibang mga pasahero. Kinukuha na ng ilan ang mga gamit nila at bumababa na.

It's my first time riding in a public transportation. Mabuti na lang very helpful ang tips na nabasa ko sa internet kung paano ko mararating ang gusto kong puntahan na lugar. Dapat nga mag ta-taxi na lang ako kaso iyong mga taxi na nakausap ko ayaw naman akong ihatid. I tried booking sa Grab pero wala rin tumatanggap sa booking ko. I read somewhere in the internet that I could take a bus so I did. Ilang oras ng nakararaan iyon.

"Miss Ganda, Baguio na po tayo."

Nginitian ko ang mabait na kundoktor na hinanapan pa ako ng upuan kanina. Puno na kasi ang bus nang mahanap ko iyon. Kaya tuloy noong umpisa ng byahe ay nakaupo ako sa baitang malapit sa driver. It was a new experience for me but it's quite fun. Kitang-kita ko kasi ang dinadaanan namin.

When I got out of the bus I instantly felt the difference of the weather. Mainit kasi sa Manila. Mabuti na lang talaga at naka-jacket na ako.

Iginala ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. There's a crowd lining up to what looks like a line up of booths selling different things. Gusto ko sanang makiusyoso sa kanila pero kailangan ko na ring umalis.

Madilim pa ang paligid. Nang tignan ko ang cellphone ko ay nakita ko sa orasan no'n na alas-otso na pala ng gabi. I followed the people going out of the terminal. Swerte lang din at kaagad kong nakita ang mga nakapila na taxi. Iyon kasi ang susunod na kailangan kong sakyan ayon sa nakita kong guide sa internet.

After a few minutes I was at the backseat of a taxi. Papunta kami sa terminal ng van sa may Kabayan.

"Aakyat kayo ng Mt. Pulag, Ma'am?"

"Yes," I said with a small smile on my lips.

Sa utak ko ay naglalaro na ang imahe ng lalaki na nakilala ko ilang araw pa lang ang nakararaan. It's finally my birthday a few hours from now. I'm going to be eighteen.

Alam kong may posibilidad na baka hindi siya pumunta. What if he's just some guy who really wanted to pick-up a woman that night? But I don't want to believe that. Alam ko kung ano ang nakita ko sa kaniya. I also know what I felt.

I continued to look at the view outside my mirror. Kung sa Pilipinas ito na siguro ang pinakamalayo ko na narating. I've been out of the country a couple of times and those places were all beautiful. Pero kung papipiliin ako mas gusto ko pa rin ang tanawin na nakikita ko ngayon.

I wish I can see more of the beauty of my own country. Hindi kasi ako nabigyan no'n ng pagkakataon na makapunta sa ibang lugar dito sa Pilipinas. My parents wouldn't allow it. Not unless ang lakad ko ay kasama ang mga napili nilang maging kaibigan ko. But those girls would never go with me to hike a mountain. Mall at bar lang ang gusto ng mga iyon na puntahan.

"Hindi kayo mukhang hiker, Ma'am," basag ng driver ng taxi sa katahimikan.

"First time ko pa lang po."

"Eh bakit po Mt. Pulag ang napili niyo? Sa pagkakaalam ko po ay pangatlo iyon sa may pinakamataas na peak."

May malawak na ngiti sa mga labi na tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana. Because it's his favorite place. "Nando'n kasi ang future ko."

NIYAKAP ko ang sarili ko dahil sa lamig na nanunuot sa balat ko lalo pa nang muling umihip ang hangin. Sa kabila no'n ay tumutulo ang pawis pababa sa magkabila ng mukha ko. I can also feel the dryness of my lips because I ran out of water an hour ago.

Come on, Lia. Konti na lang.

Hindi na ako sigurado kung anong oras na. Basta ang alam ko noong huling beses kong i-check ang ngayon ay wala ng battery ko na phone ay malapit ng mag alasais ng umaga. That felt like ages ago. I was hiking the trail to Mt. Pulag for hours.

I experienced a lot of first and I acquired a great deal of lessons. First, I experienced what it's like to ride a bus. Naranasan ko rin na sumakay sa tinatawag nilang habal-habal which at first I thought was a small plane. Akala ko sasakay kami ro'n at ibababa ako sa mismong peak na ng Mt. Pulag.

I was completely wrong.

Habal-habal is a motorcycle. It's like Grab but only with two wheels. Sobrang ilang na ilang ako noong una dahil sa sobrang lapit ko sa nagmamaneho. Hindi pa naman kasi ako nakakasakay ng motorsiklo. But then I learn to enjoy it. Hindi katulad sa kotse kasi ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang buong experience ng byahe. It was an adventure.

But the thing is going to Mt. Pulag should take at least two days. Ang unang araw ay para sa byahe papuntang Baguio, then another ride papuntang Kabayan, then I need to go to the DENR office to pay for registration and also take a seminar. After that I need to go to the ranger station and trek to the camp. The second day should be the climb to the summit.

Since I arrived late in Baguio, there's no way I can join the early batch today on their way to the peak of Mt. Pulag because one batch is going to start their hike at 1 am. Maaari ko pang mahabol ang mga aalis ng 3 am but if I combine the hours of the time I will spend in DENR registration and seminar, the ride to the ranger station, and the trek, it will mean that I will be getting delayed and I don't want that.

Then I remembered that my parents have a friend in DENR. I'm not proud of the shortcut that I did but I vowed that I will come back here and do it all over again through the right way. But yes, I jumped over a couple of steps. The friend of my parents warned me that I should just probably take a day before the climb but I don't want to.

I decided not to mind his warnings and paid more than the required payment. I immediately went to the ranger station to take a habal-habal so I could reach the camp. After that instead of taking a rest at the camp I joined the 3 am batch kung saan isiningit lang ako ng tour guide na binayaran ko rin.

Then the hiking started. Noong una marami pa akong nakakasabay sa pag-akyat. Pero habang patagal nang patagal ay naiiwan na nila ako. Hindi naman kasi ako mabilis maglakad at iilang beses din akong muntik madapa. Mabuti na lang at mabait ang guide at hindi niya hinahayaan na tuluyan akong mawala sa paningin niya.

Hindi pala basta-basta ang pag-akyat ng bundok. Akala ko sapat na ang suot ko na jacket. Akala ko rin okay na ang dala kong tubig. And worse I can feel my feet beginning to have blisters because I don't think I'm wearing the right shoes for hiking.

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko habang pilit na pinagpapatuloy ang pag-akyat. I already came this far for me to just give up. Nandito na ako. If I quit now, lahat ng pinaghirapan ko mababalewala lang. And if I give up now I will forever live my life in regret... lagi kong iisipin kung ano kaya ang mangyayari kung hindi sana ako sumuko.

No. The Lia that I wanted to be is someone who don't give up. Iyong Lia na hindi susuko hanggang hindi niya pa nagagawa ang lahat ng kaya niya.

I forced myself to take another step. Iyon nga lang ay nagkamali ako ng tapak dahilan para mapadausdos ako. I immediately used my hands to stop myself from falling. Hindi naman ako napasadlak sa lupa. Iyon nga lang dahil sa pagtukod ng mga kamay ko ay naramdaman kong may maliliit na bato ang humiwa ro'n.

Inangat ko iyon at nakita kong dumudugo na iyon. "Great."

Pinunas ko ang kamay ko sa suot ko na jacket dahil wala naman akong dala na kahit na ano. I don't even have water to wash the dirt off. Kung may tubig ako mas pipiliin ko na inumin iyon. Let's stop thinking about water for now, Lia.

Ang kagandahan lang ng kirot na nararamdaman ko sa mga kamay ko ay may iba na akong napagbabalingan ng sakit na nararamdaman ko sa buong katawan ko.

It's not like I have experience when it comes it physical activities. Kahit nga noong high school ay tinatakasan ko lang ang P.E. namin. Ang tangi ko lang inaakyat ay ang pretentious namin na hagdanan sa bahay. To be exact, it's a staircase. Even the banisters were made from real gold. Like I've said. Pretentious.

"Kung bakit naman kasi sa lahat ng lugar ito pa ang sinabi ng taong iyon," bulong ko.

I don't even want to think about the hike that I need to do again para makabalik sa pinanggalingan ko. Parang gusto ko na lang humiga sa unang patag na lugar na makikita ko. I don't care where. Basta gusto na lang huminto sa paglalakad.

I looked up the sky when I heard a bird flew above me. Sa kabila ng pagod at uhaw na nararamdaman ay hindi ko mapigilan na hindi mamangha. This is a new world for me. Sobrang layo sa nakalakihan ko, but at the same time it makes me feel free... and happy. Masaya na walang eksaktong dahilan. Walang rason. Basta kuntento lang ang puso ko. Payapa.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano pa katagal ang lumipas habang patuloy ko lang sinusundan ang trail. Habang patagal nang patagal ay mas lalong lumalamig ang paligid ko. Kahit na maiistorbo ako sa paglalakad ng mahaba kong buhok ay wala akong naging choice kundi iladlad iyon para kahit paano ay mabawasan ang lamig na nararamdaman ko.

I was very near on my breaking point when I finally got a glimpse of an opening. It's like the nature that has been nestling me inside its endless greenery is finally letting me go to the other side of its world.

I took a huge gulp of air as my feet finally take their last steps on their journey to reach the summit of this mountain.

Pakiramdam ko ay lalabas na ang puso ko mula sa kinaroroonan no'n dahil sa matinding pagod. I can hear my own ragged breath habang inililibot ko ang paningin ko sa paligid. Despite the exhaustion I can't help but be transfixed to the beauty in front of me. Never have I ever seen such breathtaking paradise.

Pakiramdam ko abot kamay ko lang ang langit. I am surrounded by a sea of clouds while from afar the sunrise is beginning to show its magnificent beauty. Nagkalat din ang puting mga bulaklak na hugis bituin. Like they are stars but rather being up in the sky... they're here gracing the land with their beauty. For a moment all I can do is take it all in. Everything that I'm seeing and feeling.

Then the next moment I began to panic.

Dahil nang ilibot ko ang paningin ko ay kita ko ang kulumpol ng mga tao. But I can't see him. Hindi ko makita ang taong dahilan kung bakit ako narito ngayon.

Paano kung pumunta siya pero nakaalis na pala siya? Paano kung hindi pa siya nakakarating? Pwede ba akong magpaiwan dito? At paano... paano kung hindi talaga siya pumunta? What if he didn't took me seriously and he just cast away the thought of me? Like I'm just one of the women he met that he has no plans on seeing again?

Nanlalambot na napaupo ako sa lupa at napasubsob ako sa mga kamay ko. I can feel the panic with the mix of frustration finally enveloping me.

Paano kung ako lang talaga ang nakaramdam ng mga bagay na iyon noong una ko siyang nakita? What if what I saw in his eyes were all a lie? What if I never see him again? I don't even know his name.

I'm so stupid. I was so impulsive and stupid.

Lalo akong napasubsob sa mga kamay ko nang maramdaman ko na naman ang ihip ng hangin. Kasabay niyon ay naramdaman ko ang pag-alpas ng luha mula sa mga mata ko. I guess all the built up emotion from this past few days finally caught up to me.

My grandmother's death, me leaving the house, the fact that my parents will surely disown me, my unknown future, the man that I probably won't be able to see again, and the exhaustion that my body went through. Wala na akong pakielam kung may makakita pa sa akin. I just let it all go.

A sob escaped my lips as the tears from my eyes didn't stopped cascading down my cheeks. It was then I felt it.

Unang reaksyon ko ay lumayo sa mga kamay na humawak sa akin. But before I can move away, a familiar feeling radiate through me. It was as if my entirety is telling me that I know the hands that are holding me.

Naramdaman kong inalalayan niya akong makatayo at sa kabila ng mga nanlalambot na tuhod ay nagawa ko iyon dahil sa tatag na nararamdaman ko mula sa mga kamay niya.

When I'm finally standing on my feet again, I felt a hand under my chin followed by a gentle tug. Umangat ang mukha ko at kahit hilam sa luha ay kaagad kong nakilala ang lalaki. I could never forget his eyes. The eyes that seems to see through my very soul.

"Why are you crying?"

I opened my lips to answer him but instead I just sobbed again. This time though it was because of relief.

"Are you hurt?"

Umiling ako at inangat ko ang kamay ko para punasan ang mukha ko pero bago ko iyon magawa ay hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. He turned my palm up and his eyes flashed when he saw the scrapes there.

"You are hurt."

"Y-You came," I whispered.

Natigilan ang lalaki at napatitig sa akin. His eyes roamed my face as if trying to memorize it. He raised his hand and gently wiped the tears on my cheek.

"Why did you?"

"I wanted to see you."

May kung ano ulit na nagdaan sa mga mata niya. "Why?"

"You know why."

Sandaling nagtama ang mga mata namin. Letting us see again what we saw that night. The connection, the familiarity, the recognition. Nakikita ko lahat ulit iyon. Kung paanong kinokonsumo ako ng mga nadarama ko na lahat ay bago lang sa akin.

"I didn't think you'd come," he said after awhile.

"I told you I would."

"You're young. You could have changed your mind. You can still change your mind."

"I won't," I said with a shake of my head. "I won't ever change my mind."

Muling umihip ang hangin dahilan para mapayakap ako sa sarili ko. Nakita kong bumaba ang tingin niya sa suot ko at pagkatapos ay sa sapatos ko.

"Is this your first time to hike?" Tumango ako bilang sagot. "Where did you stay? I arrived yesterday in the afternoon. Hindi rin kita nakita sa ranger station o sa camp. Dapat bumili ka ng thermal jacket."

Hinubad niya ang suot niya na jacket at kaagad iyong isinuot sa akin. I hugged it close to my body and for a moment I closed my eyes when I smelled his intoxicating scent on it. "Kararating ko lang kaninang madaling-araw sa camp."

Napakurap siya sa sinabi ko. He didn't speak for a moment. I think he was calculating the hours and only coming up of one thing. That I obviously made a shortcut of the process.

"That was very irresponsible."

"I wanted to see you."

"There's a reason why those steps are needed. Hindi lang iyon dahil sa dami ng taong gustong pumunta rito kundi para na rin sa kaligtasan mo. You can't just hike a mountain without any preparation and rest."

"I needed to come here."

"For god's sake, why?!"

Napapitlag ako sa pagtaas ng boses niya pero hindi ako nagpatinag doon. Kailangan niyang malaman kung bakit. Kailangan niyang maintindihan. "Because of you!"

"That's what I don't understand. Why? Why me?"

"Because you're mine."

"Hindi ako bagay para maging pag-aari."

"Alam mo kung anong ibig kong sabihin." Inangat ko ang kamay ko at inilapat ko iyon sa dibdib niya. On top of his heart. "I own this just as you own mine."

"You don't even know my name."

"Hindi mo rin alam ang pangalan ko noong makita mo ako nang gabing iyon. You found me first and when I looked at you, I know what I saw. You knew before I even did. Before I even look at you and at that time you didn't know my name."

"This is insane-"

Pinutol ko kung ano pa ang iba niyang sasabihin. "Insane, crazy, impulsive. You can call it whatever you want. Pero hindi no'n mababago ang katotohanan na alam natin pareho kung anong naramdaman natin nang gabing iyon at ngayon na nagkita na tayo ulit." I let my eyes memorize his face just like he did awhile ago. But my eyes stopped to look at his eyes because I know that I will find his answer there. "What's your name?"

His eyes flashed again but this time I understand the emotion behind them. The fear mixed with anticipation. Fear because this is a giant leap... a big risk and anticipation because we both know what we already found.

"Gunter Dawson."

"Gunter." I whispered. Umangat ang kamay ko na nasa tapat ng dibdib niya hanggang sa magawa kong makahawak sa balikat niya. I let my other hand followed the other, letting myself enjoy the warmth of his body. "Gunter, from this day on we won't wander this world alone again. We are found and I don't have plans to be lost again."

Ilang sandaling hindi siya nagsalita. Nanatili lang siya na pinagmamasdan ako. I let him. I didn't mind the silence. Not when I have him close to me.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang eksato kong nararamdaman. The first time I met him up to know have all been surreal. What I feel for him seems impossible. Para bang sa pelikula o libro lang posible ang mga bagay na nararamdaman ko.

But it's real. I know that everything is real. One moment I was alone in a world that is running in a blur but the next I found my focus. I found the person that stopped me from drifting.

That man is standing in front of me right now.

"I'll give you a chance to change your mind," he said.

"No-"

"Three seconds. Three seconds and after that there's no going back. I won't ever let you go after that." Gumihit ang ngiti sa mga labi ko at nakita kong bumaba ang mga mata niya roon. "One..."

I didn't look away from the weight of his stare.

"Two..."

In what felt like a pandemonium of my life... he became my serenity. He's the music that I've been looking for. He's the sweet melody in the chaotic noise of my world. My sweet chaos.

So no. I won't change my mind.

"Three," I said to finish counting for him.

I know he wasn't expecting the next thing I did. Hindi ko rin inaasahan ang bagay na iyon. But the moment that the word escaped my lips, I stood on the tip of my toes... and kissed him.

It was supposed to be just a touch of the lips. Just a quick one. But I felt his arms suddenly went around me and pulled me closer until all I can do is grasp tight on his shoulders. He coaxed my mouth to open and I didn't delay.

It was my first kiss.

He was my first kiss.

He was also my first love.

And there at the summit of Mt. Pulag, near the magnificent clouds, the heavens watched two wandering souls found their other halves. Two people became part of the beauty of the nature around them. Beauty recognized beauty.

Love recognized the hearts it now belongs to.

_____________________End of Chapter 13.