Jiwon's POV

I sit in my car, lightly tapping my belly as I wait for Namjoon to pull up with the kids. My baby moves and I softly smile. I feel like myself, and that makes me feel amazing.

Namjoon and I had been married for almost 10 years and during the first parts of our marriage, we were madly in love. It was when we moved to the States soon after having Soojin that our love began to fade. I started to feel disconnected and not being in love with him anymore. I became more irritable, where lots of things he did would bother me. Some of the time, it would be stupid and petty to get mad at but I did anyway. I felt that there was no escape for me and that I was going to just be stuck in a loveless marriage.

It was about a year and half after we moved here that I found Theo. It was something about him the moment I saw him that made me literally risk it all. I fell in love with him and that led to our affair. When I fell pregnant with Jaesun, I was so happy. Jaesun would have been my ticket to leaving Namjoon sooner, but when he was born, he looked just like his father. At that point, I had no idea how to leave Namjoon and what to do. So I kept the affair going, and Theo said he'd wait for me. I'm so happy he did because being with him right now and carrying his baby has made me the happiest person alive.

I hear noise from outside my car and look to see my ex-husband pulling in with the kids. I love my kids with all my heart, and now I feel like I can be the mother to them that they need me to be now that I'm in a better space. I step out of the car and go around the side so that I can help them get into the car. Namjoon steps out and opens the door for our son, who is always so excited to see me. I smile widely as he runs up to me and hugs me.

"Hi, mommy!"

"Hi, sweetie. How are you today?"

"I'm good! Can we get McDonald's?"

I chuckle, shaking my head and opening the car door so he can climb up into his booster seat. "I made spaghetti already, baby. Another day."

"Okay." He says, settling in and allowing me to strap him in his seat.

I turn around to see my little girl, the girl that was supposed to look up to me, the girl who I have disappointed, and the girl who has had to question if I loved her or not. I always get so emotional when I think of Soojin and what I can say to her. It's always so hard.

"Hi, Jinnie."

"Hi." She says simply, turning around to Namjoon before speaking again. "We have to stay for only 2 days, right?"

"Right." He nods. "Go and enjoy time with your mom. When you come home, we'll pack for Korea. I love you pumpkin."

"Okay daddy. I love you too."

They give each other a quick kiss and she walks around the back of the car to get to her seat. I have to talk to my baby girl before it gets to be too late.

"Namjoon, wait." I say, walking just a bit closer to him. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" He says, already anxious to get out of this conversation.

"How are the kids at home with you? Like, am I mentioned at all?"

"They're great, and the only one that cares to mention you at home is Jae."

It hurts my heart, but I knew it was coming. "When you pick the kids up, I'm keeping Jin an extra day. I need to talk to her."

"Do it while you have time this weekend." He shrugs, getting into his car. I stop him from closing the door and he huffs. "Listen, Jiwon. We have a schedule we need to stick with. You're throwing that off."

"Namjoon, I need time alone with our daughter. I won't keep her the whole day, if that's the case. I just need alone time with her and Jae is stuck to my hip twenty-four seven when he's with me. Please, just a few hours."

Namjoon is very easy to crack when it comes to my interaction with the kids. And this is very important to me right now. He sighs and I know he's given in.

"Fine." He replies. "I'll pick Jae up that morning around 11 and then we'll come back and get Jin at about 6."

"Thank you so much."

With a nod, he closes his car door and drives away. I will have 7 hours with my girl to straighten out this mess I've made. I don't want her to ever resent me. I get in the car and before we pull off, Jin speaks.

"Is he there?"

I nod softly, knowing she's referring to Theo. "Yes, he's at home Jinnie."

I drive off and the rest of the ride is silent. Jae had drifted off to sleep and Jin was looking out of the window. This weekend is going to be so long as I think of ways of how I'll talk to Soojin.

--

"Daddy, I wanna go with you!" Soojin clings to Namjoon as he closes the door after making sure Jaesun is secure in his seat.

"Honey, I have to take Jae to get a haircut. I'm going to come back."

"But I can go with Harly!" She cries, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I hate this. I hate that my own child doesn't want to stay with me for just a few more hours. I really have to get this under control.

"Harly has the day off, honey."

"Then call her! Please daddy."

"I'll be back. I promise." He says to her in Korean. So he's still speaking it here and there so they don't forget. I'll have to start doing that, as well.

"Okay. You promised me." She finally calms down, wiping her face.

She walks closer to me, very hesitantly. I smile slightly, hoping to make her feel better. "Go to the car. We're gonna go somewhere."

She obeys and I mouth 'thank you so much' to Namjoon. I receive a nod and he leaves. Here we go. I get in the car and I start driving to the nearby spa. Since they'll be going to Korea, I figure why not pamper her if I can't see her for about a month?

When we arrive, I get out and open the door for her. She steps out with furrowed brows. "A spa?"

"Yeah. You're going to be gone for a while, so I wanted to do something special for you."

We walk together as she inspects the building. "What are we going to do here?"

"Well," I start. "We're going to get our nails done- hands and feet-, sit in massage chairs, have brunch, and get facials."

"Do I get to wear one of those white robes?" She asks, unable to control the excitement in her voice now.

"Yes you do, baby."

"Okay." She smiles.

We get all checked in, and they take us back into a lounge where there are changing rooms and closets with locks to hold our belongings. We change into the robes and I put both our hair into high buns. We are led into the nail salon area where Soojin spots all the nail polish and picks 4 colors- two for her fingers and two for her toes. I just choose to get french tips on both my hands and feet.

I grin at Soojin talking to the lady that is doing her nails. She's a middle aged Korean lady and she was so surprised when Jin started replying to her in Korean after laughing at something she had said in our mother tongue. It's been so long since I've seen her genuinely smiling and happy. I'm going to try keeping it that way.

"Congratulations, by the way." The lady doing my nails says to me.

"Huh? Oh, thank you." I say, resting my hand on my stomach.

"What are you having? If you don't mind me asking."

"A girl."

"2 girls. That's a dream." She chuckles.

"I have a son, too."

"I have 3 bad little boys."

We continue to make small talk as they switch from doing our toes to doing our hands. Jin's nails are the cutest and I can see how happy she is to be able to enjoy being pampered. Once we're done with nails, we're lead to an area where we're having brunch. We get comfortable and have the food brought to us.

I look at my little girl across from me and my heart melts. The day she was born was one of the most amazing days of my life. Those same eyes that opened for the first time to look at me that day are the same eyes that glare at me now. I will change that. I want those eyes to hold nothing but love for me.

"Jinnie, let's talk."

"Okay." She says, looking up at me.

I take a deep breath before speaking. "I am so sorry. I'm sorry I'm not there for you like I should be. I'm sorry that you and your brother had to suffer because I wasn't myself. You mean more to me than anything in this world. I love you so much Soojin. I really really do. Even though you have a sister on the way, you'll always be my little girl."

"I love you too, mommy. But why did you leave daddy?" She asks. "Was daddy not good to you?"

I shake my head. "Your daddy was great to me, baby. I wasn't good to him. And your daddy deserves someone better than me. I hope he gets someone just as amazing as him."

"He likes Harly."

"He what?" I say in shock with wide eyes. "Soojin, is your dad dating the nanny?"

"No." She shakes her head quickly. "I think they should, mom. They like each other. I can tell."

"How can you tell? She's the nanny, honey."

"Yeah, but she's so good. She takes care of us really good too. Daddy likes that."

Namjoon and Harlow? Something about that doesn't sit right with me. Is what Soojin saying true? Do they have feelings for each other? And if so, did all this happen while we were still together? Did anything happen in our house in our bed? I stop myself from asking anymore questions. I have no reason to be upset if they were to somehow have an affair. I had one for years. If he did have an affair, then I deserve that because I did not treat him right. I truly do hope that whoever he decides to be with, even if that is Harlow, that he gets the love he deserves.

"Okay, enough about who your dad likes. I just wanted you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am. I will be a better mom to you. I promise baby. Do you forgive me?" I ask the last part in Korean, taking a page from Namjoon's book.

"Yes. I forgive you, mom." She responds and gives me a smile.

This is what I wanted. My daughter to smile at me, and genuinely enjoy being around me. For a while, I had been so horrible and that stripped away any bond that we may have had. I'm so happy that I can start fresh and we can build a new chapter. My kids are growing and soon, the won't be my babies any longer. Fixing things with my 8-year-old now is going to look great down the line when she's an adult and our relationship is strong. I will do everything in my power to keep my promise to her. I won't let anything stop me from being a good parent ever again.

∆

I don't think anyone expected a Jiwon POV, did you? I threw this in randomly because I have been wanting something where Jiwon & Soojin interacted. Also, I wanted you all to see what was going on in Ji's mind. She still ain't shit, but now you know everything lol. Next chapter will go back to the regularly scheduled program 😂 leave me your thoughts! 💕

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~S.xx