I have kept myself isolated from almost everything. I can't really face Namjoon or Jaebeom right now. This should be an easy decision, though. I should be able to say I want Jaebeom and move on. I should be able to do my job as a nanny and move on. But here I am, lying on my bed looking at the ceiling. I've decided to stay with my dad while I think long and hard about this. It isn't an issue with the kids. They just think I've found a place of my own, which is my plan anyway. I can't live under the same roof as Namjoon right now. Too much has happened and the best thing to do is to remove myself.

Namjoon has been okay during this awkward transition, though. Although the day I told him I was staying with my dad for a while was a bit interesting.

--

1 week prior

"I hope your talk with Jaebeom went well." He says, twiddling his thumbs as he watches me walk into the living room.

I nod, sitting on the couch with a straight face. I know he's bullshitting. "It was okay. We're taking a small break."

"Oh?" He says and I don't know why, but it's annoying me yet giving me pleasure at the same time. What is wrong with me?

"Yeah." I nod again. "I need to decide what the hell I'm going to do next."

"Take all the time you need. I know I sprung this on you at such an inconvenient time."

"No shit." I lean back. "I don't know what's gotten into you recently, but it's fucking with my head."

He looks at me sincerely, apologizing. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to give you a hard time."

I sigh softly. "It's fine. But I can't really be around the both of you. So I'm going to my dad's for a bit."

"You're moving out?" He asks, kind of shocked.

"No. Well, maybe. It depends on where my heart leads me. But I do think it's best that I consider moving, just in case."

"I understand." He nods. "I'm going to miss you."

"Don't do that." I say softly. "Please."

"I'm sorry." He apologizes again. "I, um. I ordered out. So there's food in the kitchen if you're hungry. When are you going to your father's?"

"Thank you. And tonight. I really need to nip this in the bud as soon as I can. When I pick the kids up from school, I'll let them know that I'll be staying with my dad for some time."

"Okay." Namjoon nods, smiling. "Thank you for everything you do. I appreciate you more than you know."

"You're welcome." I return the soft smile. "I'm gonna go pack some things now."

I feel his eyes on me as I leave the room. It's going to be a bit hard to leave because this is technically my home, but this is the decision I'm making. I'm already in this fucked up position where I have to basically choose who I want to be with. The least I can do is go to a safe space where I can think without having my decision swayed.

--

My mind begins to wander as I think about my boyfriend. I know we're taking this small break, but in my eyes, he's still mine. He treats me like nothing less of a queen. From the moment we began talking, he has always been upfront and shown me just how much I mean to him. Even after hearing about what Namjoon and I had going on, he confesses his true feelings for me, was still so understanding, and is willing to wait for me. Now, what man is willing to do all of that? My man, that's who. I'm beginning to fall in love and I had no intentions of looking back.

And then here comes goddamn Namjoon.

I can admit that over the course of me working for him, I had developed a crush on him. Who wouldn't? Namjoon is everything someone would want, not to mention he's an amazing father. Things just got out of hand and we crossed boundaries that no one should ever cross. There should be no reason at all that Namjoon is the reason I don't fully give myself to Jaebeom. I know who I want and that's Jaebeom. So why am I fighting to hold on to Namjoon so much?

There's a knock on my room door and I signal for my dad to come in. "Harlow?"

I sit up, surprised to hear the voice of my mother. "Jada?"

She smiles, head poked through the door. "Your dad said you were in here. So you mind if I come in?"

I pat the bed next to me and she comes into my room, closing the door behind her. She takes the vacant spot next to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner."

"Just us?"

"Just us." She smiles. "You can meet everyone else when you're ready. You call the shots, honey."

"Thank you. Sure, I'll go." I smile softly. She furrows her brows a bit and that has me doing the same. "What?"

"You have a lot on your mind."

"That obvious?" I sigh. "Just some guy issues."

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Sort of. It's a little more complicated. I can't really explain."

"I understand." She nods, thankfully not pushing the conversation. She's taking baby steps with me, which I appreciate. "I'll let you get ready. I'm going to go grab your siblings food before we go. Just call me when you're ready."

I nod and she leaves. I already miss her presence because now I'm left with my thoughts again. The indecisive thoughts of where my heart truly lies. This is some weird ass love triangle that isn't as fun as people in the movies make it seem. I hate having 2 men after me. It's already been a week and the only conclusion I've come up with is moving across the country to avoid being here in this situation.

As I drag myself around my room looking for different clothes to change into, my phone goes off. I'm taken back when I see it's Jaebeom trying to video call me. I throw a beanie over my head and use my fingers to comb through my hair before answering. Once I answer, he's comes onto the screen. He's lying there with a white tee and stubble on his face. I can't stop the smile that comes across my face and he returns it. His room is dark so he must be waking up from a nap.

"Hey, princess."

"Hi." I respond.

"Why so shy?" He chuckles.

"I don't know." I look away before looking back. "What made you want to video call me?"

He stretches before speaking again. "I miss my girl."

My face is on fire and all I want to do is run to him right now. "I miss you so much."

"Have you had enough time to think?"

"Sort of."

"Harlow, I need you to be one hundred percent sure. I want you to know what you want."

I nod. I understand that I need to know one hundred percent. "Will ninety nine point nine percent work?"

His chuckling is music to my ears. "I like those odds, but that point one percent makes me nervous."

"Can I have another week?"

"Of course." He answers quickly. "Please don't rush through this."

"I won't."

"Good. I'll call you soon. Have a good rest of your day, baby."

"You too. Bye."

Seeing his face really did brighten my whole mood. Maybe making this decision won't be so hard. I just need to focus on Jaebeom and all the positive things that can come from us being together. I can do this. I can choose him and I can keep doing my job as Namjoon's nanny. The only way I wouldn't be able to is if he decides to be on bullshit, which I refuse to go for.

∆

Here's some of our girl's thoughts!!!! It isn't much because I have something planned but you get the idea, right? Right! 😂 Oh! Who do you think Harlow really wants??? 👀👀

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget that if you wanna ask any of the characters questions to go do so in the previous part. I'll collect it all by Thursday & post the q&a Friday 💕 and because I showed what Jaebeom has Harlow's contact as, this is the one Namjoon uses.

Isn't she stunning? 😍 That's my baby! And as an added bonus, here's a screenshot from Jaelow's video call 😊

Okay, that's all! I love you, bye! 💕💕

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~S.xx