I groan, rolling over and throwing my blanket over me. I refuse to get up, knowing what I did last night. It's one thing to get drunk, but it's another to strip and walk butt ass naked around in front of your boss. Yeah. My dumb ass did that. I had no ulterior motive, but I was wrong for doing that, whether my intoxicated ass was hot or not. I groan even louder, wanting to throw myself off a bridge. I have some explaining to do.

I feel around for my phone and check the time. It's 11:17am, so that means Namjoon took the kids to school and didn't want to wake me. I'm thankful because I don't think I can face him right now. I curl back under my blanket and sigh. I think about my phone call with the woman that birthed me and that's when it hits me. I have to meet with her at noon.

I sit up and quickly hop out of bed, almost falling because of how fast I went. I curse to myself as I gather my clothes for a quick shower, realizing that I don't have my robe. There's no one here, so I'll quickly go downstairs to grab it. I place my clothes on my bed and go to the door, tripping over my damn robe that's already at the door. I smile softly, thankful that Namjoon brought it to me but didn't enter my room. I would be even more embarrassed if he caught me masturbating.

Like a superhero, I speed through showering, brushing my teeth, and situating my hair. I quickly lay my  edges and am satisfied with it. I rush back into my bedroom and throw on my clothes, sliding on my flip flops to complete the look. I grab my phone and check the time to see that it's 11:47 now. Half an hour, that's pretty good time, considering I nearly had a conniption getting ready. I grab my purse and keys, nearly flying out of the house to make it downtown.

But why am I rushing for a woman that I don't even know? For a woman that may not even show up? I have my expectations set way too high for someone who skipped out on the first 25 years of my life. My own mother, who was supposed to be there to protect me and teach me how to be a woman. Who was supposed to be the person I looked up to, my role model, and someone I aspired to be like. But she wasn't, and I didn't have that luxury. I'm just happy my dad was willing to take on the challenge of raising me alone. I'll forever be grateful for that.

I approach downtown, just a few minutes after noon, and my heart begins to beat faster. I'm really about to meet this woman. How will I react? How will she react? There's so much that I know I will want to say, but will it even come out? I'm so nervous, anxious, sad, relieved, and it's all just- I don't know.

The fountain comes into view and I take a deep breath, parking at the first spot I see. I give myself a pep talk and tale another deep breath as I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car. I step onto the sidewalk and begin walking toward the fountain. There are a few people just scattered around, and the breeze is flowing just right for little droplets of water from the fountain to hit my skin. That calms me down a bit, but I'm still tense as I look around for Jada. Would I be surprised if she didn't show? Not at all. Would I be upset? Yes, because she's wasting my time.

Before I can think of anything else, I hear my name being called. "Harlow?"

I stop my movements, turning around and finally coming face-to-face with the woman that brought me into this world. And I can tell that's her. I look almost like her spitting image. How hard must it have been for my dad to raise me and look at me everyday, just to see my mother's face? I have my dad's lips and head shape. Other than that, I look like this woman. I don't move as I just look at her. Tears are falling from my eyes and I want to stop them, but I can't. That empty void in my heart now has a little piece of something in it, just by being in front of her.

She covers her mouth, concealing her cries as she walks closer to me. We're nearly the same height, she's just a tad taller than me. My chest rises and falls heavily as she is now standing directly in front of me. What do I do now? Everything I thought I wanted to do and say has all flown out of the window. Do I say hello? Do I look down? Do I just lead her over to sit on a bench or something to talk? I have to stop thinking so much, and just started acting on what I want to do. So I do what I never thought I would do.

I open my arms and embrace her. She holds onto me tightly and we cry in each other's arms. I can't have hate for her in my heart. I just can't. She brought me into this world and didn't abort me. She made me with my amazing dad and I have to thank her for finding a man that was willing to take care of me. It will still take a hell of a long time for me to open up to her and we will never have that mother-daughter relationship that I have been longing for, but I am willing to be the bigger person and  accept her into my life, finally.

We pull away and we both wipe the tears away from our faces. "Hi." I speak.

She smiles softly. "Hi. I have so much to tell you. Will you be willing to hear me out?" I nod, walking with her to the nearest bench. "Where do you want me to start?"

"From the beginning." I say. "You need to tell me everything."

She nods, taking a deep breath. "I got pregnant with you fresh out of high school."

--

I close the door to the home, walking into the living room and plopping onto the couch. Talking with my mother went extremely well and I got lots of answers to my questions and more.
Her name is Jada Renee Jackson, she had me at 18, and apparently, it was never her intention to leave me. Her parents were against her having premarital sex and were very disappointed to find out that she was pregnant. So they sent her to live with her aunt, out in Nevada. She had me out there and my dad was there when I was born and that was when she told him that she didn't want me and that we would be better without her in our lives. She said dad knew she was lying, but went along with it because he knew he had to, in order to protect us all.

They came back together, but separated as soon as he dropped her off at her parent's home. She said she had closed that painful chapter in her life, up until last year when her father passed. Her mother had already been dead 3 years prior. Now that the two who wanted to have nothing to do with me were gone, it was now her mission to find me. She started with my dad first. He has no social media, so it took her a while to find him. When she did, she explained why she had to leave us.  She said dad fully understood and told her to wait a little bit before making herself known to me. She did, and just yesterday, contacted me.

It was all so much to take in, but I'm left with the peace of knowing that she didn't leave me because she didn't want me. She left because she had no choice, essentially. I feel that there was more she could have done to fight for me, but I don't know what situation she was living in back then to judge. I'm just glad that she's here now and I can know Jada as my mother.

My phone rings and I answer, seeing it's my dad. "Hey dad."

"Hey, sweetie. How did things with Jada go? She told me you met today and that she feels it went well." He says all that with caution and nervousness in his tone.

"Honestly, it went way better than what I expected. I got answers to so many questions I had and I kind of feel bad that she had to go through all of that."

"I broke down talking to her, when she first contacted me. Hearing her after all those years was strange, yet relieving." My dad confides in me. "I pictured myself being with your mother, marrying her, raising you together as a family, and even having more kids. Her parents robbed us of that. They were the ones who put her through college and threatened to cut her off of everything if she chose to raise you with me. I always told her to follow her dreams, and she did. So I never had ill feelings toward her."

Hearing my dad say all this brings more tears to my eyes. The way they coexist and work for my benefit is something I'll always thank them for. "Do you still love her?"

"Of course I do." He doesn't hesitate to respond. "I love her because she is your mother, and because she gave me you. I'll always love her for that."

"I have siblings." I say with a bit of excitement. "Her and her husband have 3 kids together. 2 boys and a girl."

"I love that for you, LowLow. When will you meet them?"

"Soon. I want to know Jada a little bit more first."

"Okay. I've gotta get back, but I love you."

"I love you too, daddy. Have a good rest of your day at work."

We end our call and I'm in high spirits. Today is going much better than I expected. The next task, however, is simplicity apologizing to Namjoon for acting out of line last night.

I'm finally able to check my notifications on my phone and I open a text from Jaebeom.

JB 😩🥵:
That is one amazing view, but I need you to get some sleep princess

"Fuck." I groan. I did drunk text him a nude photo. I guess now it's time to fix my problem from last night.

Me:
Omg, please ignore that 😭

And now, Namjoon...

Me:
I'm so so sorry about last night. Pretend it never happened?

Almost immediately, Namjoon responds.

Namjoon 😁:
I have no idea what you're talking about 🙃

Me:
You're the best! And I have to tell you about my meeting with Jada

Namjoon 😁:
All good things, I hope

Me:
Very good, actually

Namjoon 😁:
Great. We can talk about it when the kids go to sleep.

∆

Well, that's her meeting Jada! I made this chapter just to dip a toe into a more personal, emotional side of Harly. I also have a cold, so I hope this isn't bad & that you like it 🥺

For the next chapter, what would you like to see? Some Harjoon? Namjoon pov? Jaelow? Let me know! ❤

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~S.xx