This is some kind of cruel joke, isn't it? Why out of the blue is my so called "mother" trying to come into my life? I don't need that stress, and I don't need her. I'm 25 and have been fine with just my dad this far. I had to teach myself the ways of being a black woman in this world, and although I have my many short comings, I have managed. I've managed all without having a mother. And I will continue to manage without her.

I've been sitting in this spot for a good 2 hours, thinking about this bullshit. My phone rings next to me and I look over to see that number calling back. Jada is calling again and I'm frozen, just looking at my ringing phone. I can't move and it's a good thing I can't because if I were to answer that phone, I might cuss her out.

My phone stops ringing and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. I don't know what to think but my heart hurts. I can't stop the tear that escapes from my eye and rolls down my cheek. More follow and I find myself full on sobbing. Why does this hurt so bad? I don't even know her, and I don't want it to hurt like this.

There's a soft knock on my door and I stop my crying, wiping my tears quickly and going to open my door for whichever kid it is. To my surprise, it's Namjoon. His eyes hold sadness and there's no telling how long he was standing on the other side of the door.

"Harlow," he starts. "May I come in?"

I nod, opening the door and motioning toward the bed. He steps in and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. I close the door and take a seat next to him. My phone rings again, but this time, it's my dad. I just watch as it rings and when it ends, I hear Namjoon lightly sigh.

"May I ask what's wrong?" He says. "This is the first time I've seen you ignore a call from your father."

"Can I confide in you?" I sniff.

He nods. "Absolutely."

"I'll start with a question." He nods, waiting on me to continue. "How's your relationship with your mother?"

"Very well, actually." He says, but with confusion in his tone.

I nod, taking a deep breath. "My so called 'mother' called me."

"Your what?" He says with wide eyes. "But you said you didn't know her."

"And I don't." I confirm. "This is the first time I had heard her voice and learned her name."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Lost, confused, hurt, pissed." I name just a few. "I want to know why she left me, but I want nothing to do with her at the same time. I don't want to meet her."

"Then you won't get the answers you strive for. I won't tell you what to do, but I can suggest that you hear me out and just talk to her. Just once, if you need to. You need answers to all your questions."

"But why now?" My voice cracks and tears threaten to leave my eyes once more. "Why after so long?"

"I wish I could help you answer that, but I can't. What I can answer is that maybe she has a good reason. Maybe she's gotten herself together and realizes how much she misses you, and maybe even needs you."

"I don't need her." I say stubbornly.

Namjoon softly chuckles. "You sound just like Soojin. I know you and my kids have different situations, but I hear a lot of Jin in your words. If the girl wasn't afraid of getting in trouble, I know she would curse Jiwon's name. But the same thing I have said to her, I will say to you. No, you don't need to interact with your mother the way she wants you to for her own benefit, but do it because you want to. Do it because you demand the answers you deserve."

I nod, wiping away the tears that have fallen. "I appreciate that. Thank you, Namjoon."

"Here." He stands and extends his hand to me. I take it and he pulls me up and into a hug. "I'm sorry that this is going on. I know you'll make the best decision for yourself."

"Thank you." This hug is comforting. I really needed it. Aside from some of the shit Namjoon and I have been through recently, I'll always be thankful that he's been such an amazing friend to me. "I really appreciate you listening and talking to me."

"That's what I'm here for." He chuckles and breaks the hug.

We just look into each others eyes for a moment, something that hasn't happened in a minute. I've always gotten lost in his, but this time, it feels different. I'm internally battling with myself. Does this feel right? Does this feel wrong? Why am I confused? I don't notice the small space between us is closed until his chest lightly bumps mine.

I look up and my words get caught in my throat. "Uh."

"Can I ask you something?" He says lowly.

"Sure."

"It's about Jae-"

My phone rings and it startles me. I jump back and grab it, seeing Jada calling again. I'm not ready to talk to her. I'll talk to her on my time. When the phone stops, it rings again but this time, it's Jaebeom. I softly smile, feeling myself loosen up.

"I'll let you take that." Namjoon nods, swiftly leaving my room. It doesn't surprise me.

I answer the call when I close my door. "Hi baby."

"Hey princess. How was your day?"

"Good, up until about 2 and a half hours ago."

"Care to talk about it?"

"My 'mother' contacted me."

"Your mother?" He says in shock. "The same woman that left you and your father shortly after your birth?"

"That one precisely." I plop on my bed.

"I'm sorry, baby. I know that has to be tough. What did she say?"

"I only got her name because my dad called me. She's called back a couple times, but I haven't answered. I'm not ready to speak with her."

"And you have every right. But I truly believe that, deep down, you want to right now. Think about it more though, and make sure you're not making any haste decisions. I'm here for you, baby."

"Of course. Thank you." I smile.

Having those comforting words from both Jaebeom and Namjoon has really helped me relax. They're both right. I'm in control of how we will communicate. I'm calling the shots. I'm not going to let a woman, who didn't even want me as an infant, have the satisfaction of getting me to shed tears over her. As far as I'm concerned, she was my father's surrogate.

"So," Jaebeom's voice brings me back to the conversation. "I'm throwing a banquet for my company and partners next month. Will you be my date?"

"Of course I will." I giggle. "I am your woman, after all."

"This is very true. I just wanted to be semi-formal."

"Shit." I whisper to myself, but he hears me.

"Are you okay?"

"You said partners, which means Namjoon will be there. That means I'll have to stay home with the kids."

"Not necessary." He says into the phone. "This is like a family event, as well. I want our families to be there to celebrate us and our milestone. The children are invited, as my sister will bring my nieces as well."

"Then it's a date."

"Perfect. I'm going to takevyou shopping for a beautiful dress."

"You spoil me." I laugh, smiling so hard that my cheeks hurt.

I hear him chuckle and my heart flutters. "This is only the beginning, honestly."

My phone beeps in my ear and I roll my eyes as I look and see Jada calling again. "Jada is calling me."

"That's her name?"

"Yeah." It stops and I take a deep breath. I have to remind myself that I call the shots. "I'm going to call her back."

"So soon?" He asks, after he gasps. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"I know you've got this under control, princess. Good luck. Call me if you need my love and comfort."

"You know I will. Bye baby."

I end the call and take a deep breath. Was that an impulsive decision? Oh, hell yeah. Is it a decision that needed to be made? Absolutely. My thumb hovers over her number and before I know it, in pressing the little phone button to call. My heart thumps in my ears as I hear the phone ringing. It soon stops and I hear her voice come in.

"Harlow?" Hearing her voice again now knowing her true identity has made me emotional all over again. I try to conceal my cries, but I give up. I full on begin to full on sob and I hear her start as well. "Harlow, p-please don't cry."

For the next 5 minutes, it's just Jada and I crying on the phone. When it finally dwindles down, I finally have the courage to speak. "How did you get my number?"

"Your father." She says. "There's so much I want to say to you."

"Why now? Why after 25 years?"

"I was able to find you again after all these years. I want to tell you everything."

I'm doing way better than I expected. I thank my father for giving me the virtue of patience. "There's a fountain downtown, can't miss it. Meet me there tomorrow at noon."

I end the call and toss my phone to the side. I need a drink. I quickly tighten my robe before leaving my bedroom. I make my way into the kitchen and open the cabinet to pull out the shot glasses. Inside the freezer behind the frozen veggies lies a bottle of vodka. I pour me a shot and take it quickly. Before I know it, I'm almost to the end of the bottle and I'm feeling rather great.

I hear footsteps and I know it's Namjoon. I pour a shot and pass it to him as he enters the kitchen. "Here, take this."

He takes the shot without hesitation, then sits next to me. "What's got you taking shots right now?"

"I talked to Jada." I slur, but it's coherently enough for him to hear me. "I'm seeing her tomorrow."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yup." I say, popping the 'p'. "I'm ripping off the bandaid."

He nods, shaking his head as he rejects the shot I try giving him again. "I wish you the best."

"Thank you." I take the shot, whining that the alcohol is now gone. But I'm too far gone myself. I can say that I'm drunk. "It's hot in here."

Namjoon chuckles. "Harly, the air is on full blast."

I shrug, untying my robe and tugging it off my body. I sigh in relief, but groan as I feel Namjoon putting it back on me. "Joon, I'm hot."

"But you're also naked." He says.

I shrug, standing and holding on to the island to keep me balanced. I take my robe off again and let it fall to the floor. "So? You act like you've never seen me naked before."

"Harlow, not now." He says lowly, but I can see his gaze darkening over my naked body. Even through my beer goggles, I can see that I turn him on. Oh well.

I try carefully walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my bedroom. It takes me a minute, but I make it. I snatch my phone from bed and take a quick picture in front of my vanity. I'm fucking sexy, and I want to show my man. I quickly compose the text the best way I can while I'm drunk.

Me:
*image attachment*
In drunk bt I want you 😘

I send it and smile as I lay sprawled on my bed, my left hand groping my breasts and my right hand over my strangely aroused core. I don't waste time inserting a finger into myself and I moan softly when I insert another finger.  If my man wasn't here to pleasure me, then I'd do it myself.

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Hi, I hope you enjoyed this emotionally charged chapter! I know it ended very interestingly, but I like to do stuff like that, as you all know lol. The next chapter is gonna be Namjoon's POV & he'll explain what the hell just happened 👀. That's all, bye! 💕

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~S.xx