I follow Namjoon home in my car and my mind is racing. What. In. The. Actual. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Do!? I had one job. Just one. Go to his office, have lunch with him, make some small talk I guess, then come home and wait for the kids to get out of school. But what did I do? Go to his office, let my feelings get the better of me so I had an attitude, left my damn bag so I had to go back to retrieve it, and threw myself at him. Real nice. What do I have to do to distance myself from this man emotionally? Should I try dating other people like his brother suggested? Or would that just be too weird and make things awkward?

I don't realize how hard I'm gripping the steering wheel until Namjoon and I are pulling into the driveway of our home. I take a deep breath as I park, trying to contain my thoughts. We both get out of our respective cars and make our way into the house. We go into the living room, sitting side by side on the couch. I have a million things wanting to come out of my mouth at once, but where do I start? I'm so confused with everything that's been going on that I don't even know where I want the conversation to begin. "So,..."

"So,..." He repeats after me. "I think it is best for the both of us if the elephant in the room is addressed."

"Okay." I nod, letting him take the reigns.

Namjoon nods and begins to speak, looking down at his fingers. "Why did you come onto me like that in my office?"

I'm taken back by the question. I had no idea he'd bring that up first. "I-I don't know."

"You really don't know?"

"I really don't know." I answer truthfully. I have no idea why I did it. In all actuality, I don't even remember what my mind was thinking when I did it. Something just came over me and next thing I know, he's sticking his dick inside me. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. I guess that's what I felt when I came onto you."

"You didn't just do it randomly, though. You may not have wanted that at the office."

"Harlow," He chuckles. "If I didn't want that, I wouldn't have fucked you."

Hearing those words roll off of his tongue with ease makes me swallow hard. I'm getting in too deep. Way too deep. "Why did you allow me to come onto you?"

"Because I knew you needed to release some frustration." He answers quickly. "I didn't have much time to think, so I just reacted."

"Namjoon, are we really just using each other?" I question. There's more to this that we aren't hitting on.

"That's kind of a harsh way to put it, but I don't believe that there is any other way to word it."

"I don't want this to be us, though."

"And it won't be. You deserve so much better. Just say the word and I will work on controlling myself better."

"We both have to work on that." I say, finally able to look at him. "Let's do better."

"Of course." He smiles, his dimples showing slightly. "As of this moment, we keep things on a platonic, friendly basis. Nothing more than maybe a hug if we really need it."

I don't want this. I really don't want this. I want him. I don't want to lie and say I'm okay with this, but I have to. In order to keep him around, I have to lie. "Sounds good."

He nods, opening his arms too embrace me in a hug. I accept it, feeling comfortably in his arms. I just want to stay here forever. Keeping true to his word, the hug is quick and friendly. I'm a bit saddened, but it's best that we keep it this way. Right?

"I noticed that you look a bit tired." He says. "Hell, exhausted even."

"Hm? Oh. Yeah, I didn't sleep much." I say.

Namjoon sits back into the couch and it takes everything in me not to straddle him. "Go get you some rest. I'll go get the kids and take them out for a bit."

I smile softly, nodding in agreement. "Thank you, Namjoon."

I stand from my spot and make my way toward my bedroom. Maybe rest is what I need to help get my mind off of this mess going on with us. I take off my top and skirt, sliding a big T-shirt over my head. I look at myself in the mirror and I could cry. I look exhausted, and I feel equally as exhausted. I didn't know that I had let this situation consume me this much. I have to get some sleep. I know once I'm awake I'll feel better.

--

I really fucking lied to myself. I woke even more flustered than I was when I fell asleep. My mind decided to be a little bitch and dream up any scenario it could of Namjoon and I. I felt like I was asleep for days the way my dream felt like something straight from a porn website. I can't believe I failed myself, even in my damn sleep.

I hear a quiet knock on my door and invite in whoever is at the door. The door opens and in walks Jinnie.

"You're awake!" She smiles widely.

"I am." I smile back. "Come here."

She bounces my way and sits on my bed, next to me. "You not tired anymore?"

"I'm still a bit tired, but I'm going to stay up for a little bit. How was school?"

"It was okay." She shrugs. "This boy pulled my hair."

"He did what?" I say, eyebrow raised. "Did you tell the teacher?"

"No." She shakes her head. "He told the teacher on me."

"What? Why?" I'm curious as to why that little brat would tell on her when he's the one that pulled her hair.

"He pulled my hair and I pushed him into the wall. I told him don't pull my hair and he pull on it anyway." She shrugs again and I giggle at her.

"Oh, girl. You handled your own. But next time, remember that violence isn't the answer."

"That wasn't violence, though!" Jin defends. "I pushed him for pulling, I didn't hit him! On TV, they say that is tooth for tooth."

I laugh, shaking my head. She's got a point. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That's very true, but you could've gotten into serious trouble. You're lucky that the teacher believed you, I assume."

"She did."

"Okay then. No more pushing bad little boys, okay?"

"Okay." She murmers and I can't help but to smile at her.

"Where's your brother?"

"Sleeping early."

"What time is it?" I check my phone to see it's almost 8. "Damn, I slept longer than I thought."

Jin wags her finger in my face. "Harly that's a bad word."

I cover my mouth, with wide eyes to make her laugh. "I am so sorry. Pretend I never said that, okay?"

"Okay." She says, yawning at the same time. "Can I lay with you today?"

"Yeah." I let her under the blankets with me and she cuddles up to my side. "When you fall asleep, I'll carry you to your room, okay?"

"Okay." She says again. "Harly?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think mommy misses me?"

My heart hurts at the question. I don't know how to answer that. I don't know the relationship Jiwon has with the kids, so I can't say. But I can put her mind at ease the best way I can. "I'm sure that deep in her heart she misses you both. She is your mommy and she loves you."

"Okay."

She snuggles into me more and I hold onto her, not wanting to let her go. I hate that she's going through something like this so young. Growing up without a mother of my own, I can't imagine what it's like to have one and then she all of a sudden disappears without an explanation. Jinnie just wants her mother, the same way I wanted mine.

Soon enough, I hear light snores from next to me and I peek to see her sound asleep. I don't move her, though. I savor this moment for as long as I can. Jin fell asleep in a matter of minutes being in my arms. I don't want to take that away from her right now. I smile and kiss the top of her head lightly. She's definitely helped in getting my mind off of everything going in with Namjoon. My mind, for the first time in days, is not on Namjoon. It's at a peaceful state and soon enough, I find myself falling back to sleep.

--

"Harly." I feel myself being lightly shaken and my arms instinctively pull Soojin closer to me as she sleeps comfortably in my arms. I groan when it happens again. "Harly, wake up."

"No, go away." I speak groggily. "We're peaceful."

"I can see that." The voice of Namjoon softly chuckles. "But if we want Soojin to rule the world one day, she's gotta get up and go to school."

"No, let us sleep. She works hard." I try shooing him away, but he just chuckles and I assume he's shaking his head.

"Harlow, it's Thursday. And tomorrow they have no school. She can't miss today."

"Why not?" I'm persistent.

"Then I have no choice." He takes the blankets off of us, Soojin remaining unfazed as my warmth keeps her comfortable. "Your legs looks so smooth."

He runs his fingers across my thigh and my eyes shoot open as I sit up in a hurry. Soojin jolts awake, whining and grabbing for me. "Harly."

"Sweetie, time to get up." Namjoon says softly, arms out for his daughter. She reaches for him and he picks her up out of the bed and holds her close. "Ready for school?"

"Mmhmm." She hums, yawning in the process.

"Let's go get ready. See you for breakfast, Harly." He smirks as he winks at me.

Oh, that sly son of a bitch. I groan, lying back down and blowing raspberries. I guess I can say that I'm well rested now. I can go on about my day without feeling like a zombie. Maybe go for a walk to clear my head a little, because I sure need it more than anything.

I roll over and grab my phone from the nightstand, seeing a text message. I unlock my phone and instantly smile once I see who it's from. I quickly call and he answers.

"Good morning, baby girl."

I smile like a giddy kid and my mood is instantly a bright one. "Hi daddy."

"How you doing this morning?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"You know me." My dad chuckles lightly. "Working, working."

"Like always." I nod. My dad works hard, always has. "What's got you texting me this early?"

"I want to take you to breakfast. Talk a little bit. You have to take the kids to school, right?"

"No. Namjoon takes them in the morning, unless he has to work early. But I can today since I have to head that way to you."

"Okay. Uh, plan on being here at 9 then we'll take my car. Love you."

"Love you too, dad." I smile, ending the call and getting right to getting myself all cleaned.

I accidentally bump into Namjoon as he's walking toward Jae's room. He chuckles, catching me before I trip. "What's got you so giddy?"

"My dad." I smile wider. "Gonna have breakfast with him so I can take the kids to school. It's just on my way."

"Okay." He nods. "Thank you. Tell your dad I say hello."

I return the nod, continuing on to the bathroom. I absolutely love meeting up with my father. As a single father, he did everything he could to ensure that I had the best possible upbringing. Even without a mother, I would still feel complete because my dad was always there for me. Even as an adult, I'm still such a daddy's girl. I can't wait to tell my dad everything that's happened recently, and I mean everything.

∆

This was supposed to be a double update & posted right after the last chapter, but my friends have stayed with me the past 2 days and we celebrated my birthday early. (My birthday is on the 22nd so in 9 days 😁). I hope you liked this & I can't wait for you to meet Harlow's dad. He's gonna be dropping hella wisdom because she's gonna spill the beans.

Thank you for all the love 💕💕

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~S.xx