Chapter Three

"There is a one in four chance of a bone marrow matching a brother or sister, the highest chance," the doctor informed. "If you two conceive again, you can improve the chances of eliminating Shraddha's cancer."

"Miss Agarwal, I've told you already that medical technology has advanced to the point where you don't have to engage in any activities you don't feel comfortable in engaging in," the doctor continued. "It is slightly riskier than natural conception, but the risk is minimal. The rest is up to the two of you."

"Thank you doctor," Sanyukta said through teary eyes before standing up and rushing out of the room.

Randhir guiltily looked up at her retreating body.

"Thank you," he said to the doctor and ran out after her.

When he reached the corridor, Sanyukta had disappeared. His heart hammering inside his chest, he ran to Shraddha's room. She was lying there sleeping. Sanyukta wasn't there.

Just one look at his daughter's frail body, her pale face, her sunken eyes, and her bony hands was enough to make him want to break down crying.

He walked to her bedside and took her small hand in his, a tear escaping from his eye. He brought it to his lips and kissed it softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely.

She was fast asleep, breathing heavily, and Randhir didn't know why he was saying this in an empty room, but he had to apologize. The guilt was eating him up. And he deserved to get eaten up, he was a bloody fool. He hated himself so much.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, before he broke down crying. "I was wrong. So wrong."

He pressed his face on the pillow next to his daughter's head and sobbed uncontrollably.

"I didn't even know your name until today and I still don't know your birthdate," he whispered, as more tears spilled out of his eyes. "I don't know anything about you. But I love you so much. Believe me, I do."

He couldn't ever forgive himself for the pain and heartbreak he put Sanyukta through. He didn't even know how he'd be able to live with himself after the misery he caused her.

He had a daughter... Sanyukta had given birth to his child, and he hadn't been there for her. He hadn't been there for her or for his daughter. She suffered from cancer, and he hadn't been there.

He missed four of her birthdays, he missed her first steps, her first words. He missed everything about her that he should have been there for. And the worst part was that he couldn't blame anybody but himself for it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, wiping his eyes.

Shraddha stirred in her sleep. Randhir was about to caress her hair when another hand reached her hair first.

He glanced up to see Sanyukta with swollen eyes, looking lovingly at her daughter.

"S - Sanyukta," Randhir croaked.

She looked at Randhir then glanced at the door, silently asking him to come out and talk. Even to this day, Randhir understood what her eyes conveyed. Too bad that he didn't understand the day he broke all ties with her.

He followed her out of the room, through the hallway, up some stairs, out on to the roof. It was slightly chilly and Sanyukta shivered as she walked to the edge of the roof where a balcony was. She placed her hands on the railing and looked out into the distance.

"I didn't want negative vibes around Shraddha," she said, her voice emotionless, "Whatever we need to talk about, we will talk about away from her."

If Randhir didn't know any better, he might have mistaken Sanyukta as a patient of this hospital. She looked so weak and vulnerable herself.

Please God, if you exist, please give me all her misery, she doesn't deserve any of this, he begged silently in his mind. Please let her be happy.

"S - Sanyukta," Randhir said, his words getting stuck in his throat. How could he tell her that he was sorry? He knew it himself that a sorry would not be able to repair all the damage that he had done. He couldn't tell her he was sorry. It wouldn't relieve her of the heartbreak, the pain, the struggles he put her through.

Perhaps he was destined to face a lifetime of misery.

"Randhir," Sanyukta interrupted, looking down. "We have to do this for Shraddha."

He knew immediately that she was talking about them conceiving again. Randhir nodded.

"Yes," he replied. "We have to."

She looked up at him, surprised that he had agreed so fast. But Randhir turned his gaze down, unable to meet hers.

"I... I know there's medical technology and that - that there's practically no risk," she continued, her eyes filling with tears. "But I don't want anything to go wrong. If God has to save Shraddha, we should do it naturally. We are given all we need to save her, we don't need to let our emotions get in the way and use medical technology. It isn't necessary."

"Okay," he said softly. He would agree to everything she said.

"I can't lose her," she continued, her voice cracking. "I can't. We have to do anything we can to save her."

He nodded again. He couldn't lose his daughter either, but he didn't voice it. Sanyukta was already having a hard time. He wanted to hug her tightly, he wanted to comfort her, to be there for her, but that right had been lost a long time ago for him.

"Can you... can you go somewhere with me for a few days?" she asked hoarsely. "Just you and me. As soon as we can."

"We can leave now," he replied, his gaze still on the ground.

"No," she said firmly. "I need to get something sorted out first. I'll... I'll call you."

He forced himself to look up at her. Her vulnerability was still her strength. When she was weak, she didn't give up, she fought. He was glad that Sanyukta hadn't changed with time - she was still the same independent, headstrong girl that he knew. She was still the determined, focused person who only looked at the end result and not the struggles it took to reach it.

Then she turned around and walked towards the door, he lifted his hand to stop her, to grab hers, like he used to be so accustomed to, but he froze it in midair.
--
Flashback:

"I am so mad at you!" Sanyukta snapped, pulling her body away from his.

They were standing in an empty classroom. They had sneaked in to spend some moments with each other because third year exams were going on, and it was hard to find time to even see each other, thanks to the amount they needed to study.

Randhir had proposed the idea of studying together, but Sanyukta knew that it would never be effective because they wouldn't get any studying done.

"Okay, sorry! I'll kiss you better, come here," he said, opening his arms.

She grabbed the collar of his shirt angrily and pulled him closer to her.

"You need to stop kissing me," she said, pressing her lips against his.

What the - she was such a hypocrite! He pulled his lips off of hers and glared at her.

"Oh and you can kiss me whenever?" he asked, trying to sound annoyed.

"Why are you complaining? I know you like it," she asked, hungrily pressing her lips against his again.

He pulled away from her, trying to prove a point.

"No!" he lied. "I don't like it. First tell me why you don't want me to kiss you."

"You're always in control, let me take over for once," she said adamantly, forcing her lips on his again.

His hands wrapped around her waist and he responded to her kiss passionately. He truly wouldn't mind this.

When they finally pulled away for air, her fingers around his collar loosened and his grip on her waist did too. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she smirked coolly, before stepping back and turning around. She was about to head to the door, when he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"What?" she asked, trying to sound annoyed, and not turning around. "I need to study."

"I let you take over today," he said, with a smirk from behind her. "Don't think it's always going to work this way."

She pulled her hand off his and turned around to face him again, a wide smile on her face.

"And how long are you planning to stay in control?" she asked.

"Until I let you go," he said with a smirk.

"Let me go?" she asked, sounding offended. "I'm not leaving you so easily mister. I'll come back and when I do, you will give me all the control yourself."

"Anything for you," he murmured, pulling her closer by the waist and burying his face in her neck.

"You can be in control... for now," she said, with a heavy sigh, tilting her head to the side, allowing him better access to her neck.

"You know, next week third year will be over, then we're going to different cities for our placements," he whispered.

Her hands wrapped around his back as a tear reached her eye.

"I hate to say it, but I'm already missing you," she replied sadly.

"It's okay, you have Parth to keep you company," he said with a smirk.

She pulled away, looking even more offended.

"Why do you always bring him up?" she asked, annoyed.

"It's fun teasing you about him," he laughed, "You get so mad."

Sanyukta rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, you have Vidhushi," she retorted. "She's going with you."

Randhir folded his arms and glared at her.

"You know I'd rather have you there," he said, before gripping her arms and pulling her closer to him.

He could hear her heart beat faster.

"We'll Skype each other everyday, promise?" she asked as his lips attacked her neck.

"Is that even a question?" he asked, moving the sleeve of her kurta to the side and kissing the exposed skin.

"It's just for a school year, and then we'll be back for graduation, then we can both get jobs here," she said as his hands moved up the sides of her body.

"We still have time," he said, as his lips found hers again.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips.

"I love you too," he said, one of his hands burying itself in her hair.

"B - before we leave, I want to give you something?" she told him, pulling back slightly.

"I have everything I want," he said, leaning closer to her again, but she placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"No... I want to - I want to be with you," she whispered nervously. "I want to give myself to you in every way."

Randhir's eyes glinted when she said that.

"Really?" he asked, surprised.

She smiled and nodded.

"The night before we leave," she informed decisively.

He kissed her deeply, and she responded with equal passion.

"I love you so much," he said.

"I love you more," she whispered.

"Bullshit," he replied, grabbing her arms and pinning them to her back.

"MCP," she replied breathlessly.

"Only your MCP," he responded with a smirk.

"If you tell me my feelings are bullshit, I'm going to leave you," she threatened.

"Don't forget, you'll only be able to leave me if I let you go," he replied, smirking even more widely.

--
As she walked away from him, the memory played in his head, and the bitter truth of their words dawned on him. He questioned his love for her, and he let her go away from his life. She begged him, pleaded with him, told him that she was innocent, but he still let her go. 

That evening, he went home late because he had been in his office, thinking about what his life had become since he let Sanyukta go. He thought about what he put Sanyukta and Shraddha through. But more importantly, he waited for her call.

It didn't come.

--

At home, Vidhushi was waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Vidhushi, this is not going to work out," Randhir told her, referring to their relationship. "I'm in love with someone else."

"Three years Randhir," Vidhushi hissed angrily. "Three years later you're telling me this?"

On the other side of town, when Sanyukta went home with Shraddha, Parth was waiting for them.

She put Shraddha to sleep and approached Parth.

"Parth... you know I told you about... about the possibility. I - I have to save Shraddha," she told him, her eyes filling with tears, "I have to leave you."

She removed her engagement ring and handed it to him.

"I'll wait for you," he said with a hurt smile. "You save her and come back to me. I will be right here waiting for you."

"Thank you Parth," she whispered, knowing that this couldn't be easy for him. "You've always been there for me."