Chapter Seventeen

She felt like she would die from humiliation - she wished she could die from humiliation.

"I'm sorry," was all she said when Parth stopped in his tracks. "I'm so sorry Parth."

Sanyukta walked up to him, slightly shivering with nervousness as she approached. He still didn't turn around to look at her. She placed a shaking hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I want to marry you."

Parth still didn't budge.

"I'm so sorry Parth," she whispered, feeling upset.

Couldn't he scream at her? Couldn't he insult her? Call her cheap, call her vile, call her anything he wanted to... at least then she would be able to feel something, but him not reacting only conveyed his disappointment, and this only made her feel more guilty.

Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. She started to sob. And she sobbed uncontrollably. Parth turned around and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

Under normal circumstances, she would have pulled away from him and ran into her own room, slamming the door shut so she could be left alone. But under normal circumstances, she would have no reason to feel guilty either. These weren't normal circumstances.

She allowed him to hold her as she sobbed. She clutched his shirt tightly and she cried even more.

"Please forgive me," she croaked. "Parth, please forgive me."

He rubbed her back softly and she leaned even closer to him, pressing her face deep into his shirt - so deep that she was sure that her face left an imprint in the soft material.

"I don't have anything to forgive you for Sanyukta," Parth told her softly. "You love Randhir right? You don't have to be with me Sanyukta."

That broke her heart even more. How could someone be so selfless?

"No Parth, I did love Randhir... I mean I do. He's Shraddha's - he's Shraddha's dad. I have to love him. But... Parth... you're my future now. You're who I... who I... you're who I want to spend my life with," she said, or rather she forced herself to say those words.

"Are you sure?" Parth asked her, his tone serious.

"Yes," Sanyukta whispered. "And I promise you - whatever happened last night won't happen again. We'll get married next week itself."

--

Randhir knew that this would happen - he had been anticipating her phone call. It had been a few hours since he had dropped Sanyukta home. He was at his own place, cleaning it up, moving furniture in when he heard his phone ring.

"Sanyukta?" he asked, picking it up on the first ring.

"R - Randhir," she croaked, and he knew she had been crying. He also knew what she was going to say... he knew her way too well to know that this would happen.

"It's okay Sanyukta," he told her softly, "I know. It's okay."

"I'm sorry Randhir," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. P - Parth has been so nice to me. I c - can't do this."

Randhir sighed as he felt his own heart ache - this was for the best, this would make Sanyukta happier in the long run... perhaps all he would have been able to provide her was heartache.

"It's okay Sanyukta," Randhir told her once again. "I'm serious, it's really okay."

"You know me too well," she whispered. "You knew this whole time... I couldn't even feel guilt-free for a day."

"It's okay," he repeated. "I promise, it will be okay. But you need to promise me one thing."

"What?" she asked.

"Promise me that you will try to move on."

There was a few moments of silence until she finally spoke.

"You know me better than I know myself - you anticipated this, and I... I am a mess, I don't know whether I will survive, or if I'll even smile, but let me tell you this one truth that will never change: I love you so much, and I promise you, that I'll try my hardest to move on," she whispered. "Our wedding is next week Randhir. Goodbye."

Before he could even respond, she hung up. Suddenly, reality hit him hard and he felt as if he was drowning. A tear dropped from his eye and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

It had been so easy to tell her to move on with Parth, but the truth was that Randhir loved her so much, that the thought of being apart from her killed, even after five years of separation.

He had to do it. He had to do it for Sanyukta's sake. Randhir wanted her to be happy more than he wanted her for himself.

Randhir fell on top of his mattress and buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply as he tried to fight his inner demons. He wanted to scream. He wanted to call Sanyukta right away and tell her to come to him, but he knew that wasn't right. He knew that it wouldn't get them anywhere, and he needed to have that self-control.

"You need to control yourself," he told himself as he continued to take deep breaths to calm himself down. "You're doing this for her. This is what you want."

But this was hard. This was so hard.

--

The next three weeks passed by too quickly for Sanyukta's liking. She tried to get it into her head that she was marrying Parth for the betterment of everyone, including herself and her daughter, but her mind constantly wandered off to Randhir.

She hadn't attempted to contact him, nor had he said a word to her in the last three weeks. They hadn't spoken at all, and Sanyukta really didn't know what to do or how to think.

The plan to get married in one week had been changed since the pandit said that a better time had come up for three weeks later. And here she was, standing in front of her mirror, three weeks after last seeing Randhir. Here she was, looking like a zombie, when today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

She had always imagined this day to be the day her and Randhir would be united for good - but she was becoming united with someone else.

Sanyukta closed her eyes and rested her head on her vanity, unsure of how she would be able to get through the day.

"I wish there was some miracle and I wouldn't have to go through with this," she whispered.

Then suddenly, she felt a burning sensation in her throat, and she felt sick. She felt very sick. Feeling the contents of her stomach rushing up her digestive system, she clutched her stomach and ran into the bathroom, before throwing up in the toilet.

She closed her eyes and took deep breaths as she tried to figure out what just happened to her - could it be that she was pregnant and she was feeling morning sickness? Her hand sliding down to her lower belly, she smiled to herself softly at the thought of Randhir's baby being in there.

Walking to her closet, she took out a pregnancy test that she had kept in there for when the time was right. She figured that now was probably a good time to take it and see if she was pregnant.

Once she took the test and saw two red lines, indicating that she was indeed pregnant, her face lit up with a smile.

"Oh my God, Randhir," she whispered out loud, "Randhir, we're... we're having a baby."

She felt tears fall down her eyes as she grabbed her phone with shaking hands and texted him.

Need to see you now. Where do you live?

His text came right away with his address.

Sanyukta changed into jeans and a t-shirt, before pulling a sweater over her body and leaving the house. She had to give him the news before anyone else.

She couldn't help but feel giddy with excitement at the thought of seeing him again - she had missed him so much. Ringing the bell of his condominium, she straightened her posture and combed her fingers through her hair.

Randhir opened it, and as soon as he opened it, Sanyukta threw her arms around him, catching him by surprise. He hugged her back, patting her softly.

"Is everything okay Sanyukta?" he asked with care.

"More than okay," she whispered, feeling completely safe in his arms.

He broke the hug and stood to the side of the door so she could enter. Looking around, she noticed it was a luxurious place.

"How is Shraddha?" Randhir asked, as soon as she sat down on the couch.

"Great," Sanyukta told him. "She's doing better. Her symptoms are disappearing, so she isn't in pain as much... but the cancer is still there."

"And Parth?" he asked her curiously. "How is he?"

"He's good too," Sanyukta told him with a smile. "He's very good."

Randhir sat down next to her on the sofa and Sanyukta edged closer to him, taking his hand quickly. He looked down at her hand on his and looked up at her again, confusion on his face.

"Sanyukta..." he said, hesitating slightly. "What are..."

"Randhir," she interrupted, "I'm pregnant."

His mouth dropped open for a moment, and it seemed like he was putting two and two together. Finally, it was he who threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She sighed happily in his arms, wanting to do nothing more than get closer to him.

Today was her wedding day, but Randhir didn't know this. In fact, he was probably under the impression that her wedding with Parth already happened.

"I'm so happy Randhir," she whispered, holding him even more tightly, her hand slipping into his hair as he rubbed her back affectionately. "I'm so, so happy."

"You don't even understand how happy I am Sanyukta," he told her, pressing his lips on her ear as he inhaled the scent of her hair.

She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes as her hands slid to his cheeks and held on to them. Then before he could even begin to fathom what she was up to, and before she could even realize what she was doing, she pressed her lips against his so hard, that he fell backwards on top of the couch, and she fell on top of him.