Chapter Nine

He watched the pain settle on her face and his own heart shattered into pieces - he didn't know why he thought that hurting her would relieve him of his own pain, but it didn't. It hurt even more. It was like scratching open wounds. He was already bleeding, but now he bled more.

Her grip on his shirt loosened as she looked at him with shock.

"You... you slept with Vidhushi?" she asked, as if she couldn't believe what he said.

"Many times," he forced himself to say coldly.

Her hands found his chest and she pushed him back with all her might. Covering her mouth with her hand to conceal a sob, she got off the bed.

She started to make her way to the door, but Randhir caught up with her and grabbed her arm, turning her around forcefully.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked, tears falling down her face. "I'm disgusted. I don't even want to look at you!"

He grabbed her shoulders tightly and roughly pushed her against the wall, his own eyes holding nothing but anger.

"I'm disgusted at you too - you can go and marry Parth, I don't care," he snarled.

"And you can go and sleep with Vidhushi," she screamed. "At least I didn't sleep with Parth!"

"At least I am not going to marry Vidhushi," he yelled back.

"You slept with Vidhushi," she cried as if she was trying to make sense out of it, "Youslept with her."

He could see the agony in her face and right now more than anything, he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that from now onwards he belonged only to her. But his ego had always been beyond all his desires.

"And you're going to happily marry Parth," he repeated darkly.

"Not happily Randhir, not happily..." she cried, clutching the sleeves of his shirt tightly. "But you're with Vidhushi!"

"I broke up with her Sanyukta!" he yelled, his own eyes filling up with tears. "I broke up with her."

She looked up at him with a hopeful expression and before he could even take in what was going on, she had pressed her lips against his, her tongue trying to part his mouth open with a sense of urgency - as if she had a time limit. One of his hands looping around her waist, and the other one sliding in her hair, he brought her head closer to his as he responded to the kiss with the same urgency.

He had missed her so much. Her hands cupped his cheeks as her tongue invaded his mouth. He allowed her to dominate.

She broke the kiss, her chest heaving as she gasped for air. Then fresh tears fell out of her eyes again and she started to hit his chest.

"I hate you!" she howled. "I hate you Randhir!"

She threw one punch after another and he stood there silently, allowing her to hit him. Then she raised her hand and slapped him hard across the cheek.

"You slept with Vidhushi," she wailed.

He grabbed her arms tightly and pulled her close to him as she looked up into his eyes, desperately wanting him to tell her that he was lying.

"Sanyukta I was only thinking about you - each and everytime, I wished it was you," he whispered, letting go of her arms.

She stumbled backwards and her back hit the wall again. His hands found her cheeks and he cupped them gently, wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

"You broke her heart?" she said, sobbing again. "You slept with her and you were thinking about me? And you left her?"

Her words hit him hard and he felt a pang of guilt. She was right. What he had done with Vidhushi wasn't right - he had given her false hope when he knew the whole time that he would never be into that relationship.

"Yes," he admitted. "And I feel very guilty."

"Randhir you hurt her just like you hurt me!" she screamed. "You didn't learn from your mistake."

He stroked her cheek softly.

"Randhir," she said, bringing her voice down to a whisper, "I'm over you."

He let go of her cheeks as he felt anger rise from within again. Grabbing her shoulders, he shook her violently.

"That's why you slept with that picture of us every night right?" he asked her harshly. "That's why you kissed me right now right?"

She brought her shaking hands up to his face and touched his cheeks softly.

"Randhir," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You left me. You doubted me. You thought Shraddha was Parth's."

He rested his hands on top of hers, before wrapping around them softly and holding them.

"When I told you I was pregnant, you asked me to prove she was yours," she said, tearing up again. 

--

Flashback:

"Randhir," she whispered with a sigh of relief as soon as he opened his door. "You didn't answer my texts. I was so worried. Is your phone working?"

His eyes were bloodshot red. She reached up and touched his cheeks softly.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He stepped aside to allow her to come in before locking the door behind her.

"Sanyukta you're pregnant?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

And suddenly she broke down crying.

"You got my texts?" she asked and clutched his shirt tightly, before resting her head on his chest.

His shaking hands gently stroked her hair, unable to see her in this kind of pain.

"Randhir I'm pregnant," she sobbed.

"Come here," he murmured, taking her hand and seating her on the couch.

She placed her head on his shoulder and started to cry again.

"The doctor told me I'm six weeks pregnant," she told him, "I don't know what to do. And you have been ignoring my texts."

Ever since the incident where he walked out of her place a week ago, he hadn't contacted her nor did he reply to her texts. He thought that she was lying that she was pregnant just so he would talk to her again, but seeing her like this, in this condition outside of his door had cleared his doubts.

He was in a state of shock - he didn't know how to react or what to say. All he knew was that he couldn't let Sanyukta suffer through this alone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, stroking her hair again.

"What do I do Randhir?" she cried.

"Sanyukta, keep on doing your placement," he told her seriously. "I'll quit and will try and find something there."

She removed her head from his shoulder and looked at him with shock.

"No Randhir!" she said right away. "You complete your placement too. We'll both complete our placements and then we'll live together."

"But everyone will know by then," Randhir said, holding her cheek softly. "You will have the baby by then."

"We should have used a condom," she whispered, resting her head on his chest again. "Look what happened."

"Forget that, it's the past. Here's what we'll do. We'll both complete our placements. Do you have any friends you can trust there?" Randhir asked.

"Parth," Sanyukta replied, making Randhir slightly angry, but he brushed it off. Sanyukta came first.

"Okay then," he said, putting his ego aside, "He'll be glad to take care of you."

"But Randhir... what will he think?" Sanyukta asked nervously. "He doesn't know about us I mean..."

"Still?" Randhir yelled, pulling Sanyukta off him and glaring at her.

"Sorry Randhir, I haven't seen him much all week!" she told him quickly. "And I forgot about it, I was trying to contact you."

"Sanyukta you know what," Randhir said angrily. "You call him your best friend and you don't even tell him about us. Why Sanyukta? You aren't doing anything with him are you?"

"What?" Sanyukta shrieked, standing up quickly. "Randhir how can you say that?"

"Sanyukta why can't you tell him about us?" Randhir asked, equally angry. "You know what Sanyukta, how do I know that child is even mine?"

Her eyes widened and she grabbed his collar angrily.

"Randhir," she yelled, "How dare you?"

His ego was not bigger than his concern anymore.

"Prove it," he said angrily. "Prove that this child is mine."

He watched in sorrow as tears filled her eyes. She pressed her lips against his desperately, but he pulled her off him.

"Prove it," he said again.

Choking back on her tears, she turned around and walked out of the door.

--

"You asked me to prove it," she sobbed again. "And I did Randhir. Remember, we got a DNA test done. But you ignored me."

Randhir remembered that the DNA test results were negative - it claimed that Shraddha wasn't his daughter, and in anger he had texted Sanyukta to stay out of his life.

Sanyukta fell to the ground and continued to sob.

Randhir remembered how she had fallen to the ground just like this when they met for the last time five years ago. 

--

Flashback:

"Please don't do this Randhir," she cried as soon as he opened the door. "Randhir I swear to you, you are the father!"

She wrapped her arms around his body and rested her head on his chest, clinging on to him for dear life.

"Let go Sanyukta," Randhir said angrily, trying to pull her off, but she refused to budge. "I don't even want to look at you right now."

"Randhir you can't do this to me or our child, you can't!" she wailed. "Please Randhir. Please!"

He grabbed her shoulders and tried to pull her off but she refused to move.

"I know you love me Randhir, it's a misunderstanding, please," she cried. "Please Randhir, don't leave us!"

When he was finally successful in pulling her back, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her lower abdomen.

"Randhir, our child is in here," she told him desperately. "Our baby Randhir. Your baby is in here!"

He yanked his hand away and she fell to her knees, holding her hands together. "Please Randhir, don't do this."

"Don't feed me bullshit Sanyukta," he hissed angrily. "Go tell all this to who this baby belongs to. You disgust me."

She grabbed his legs and continued to sob.

"Randhir please," she begged. "Please!"

He bent down and grabbed her arm, pulling her up before dragging her towards the door.

"Randhir no! I came all the way here to - Randhir please, I'll tell Parth everything, I swear I won't ever see him or speak to him again, please!" she cried. "Please! I love you! Don't do this! Randhir, don't!"

He pushed her out the door and closed the door in front her face. 

--

"Sanyukta," Randhir whispered, feeling guilty for the way he had treated her. "I'm sorry."

She leaned forward, still sobbing, pressing her face on his feet and Randhir bent down to hold her shoulders. He pulled her up to her feet and looked at her with nothing but guilt.

"Randhir, what will sorry do?" she asked, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "Will it take away the amount I had to struggle?"

He touched her cheek lovingly and she looked up at him with hope - hope that maybe he would say something and everything would be completely alright all of a sudden.

"I won't even apologize for what I did five years ago, because that's beyond forgiveness," he muttered, "But I'm apologizing for today. Whatever I said earlier was out of anger."

"I'm sorry too," she responded. "I'm not looking forward to marry Parth. I don't want to marry him Randhir, I don't."

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and just looked at her - she was beautiful, even with swollen red eyes, even when she looked so weak and vulnerable, even after all these years.

"Then don't marry him," he murmured. "You don't have to."

"I promised," she whispered. "I'm engaged to him. I can't hurt him."

He let go of her, frustrated.

"Sanyukta this was how it was like when we were together too - you never told him about us because you were too worried about his feelings!" he snapped.

"Randhir, he's done so much for me!" she yelled back through tears. "He cared for me while I was pregnant, he helped me with Shraddha for the last five years, and I can't devote the rest of my life to him? He was there for me in the most crucial stage of my life."

She grabbed the collar of his shirt out of frustration and tugged hard.

"Where were you Randhir? Where were you when I needed you the most?" she screamed.

Randhir let her scream, because she was right - he had abandoned her when he should have been with her. Although the DNA report came out negative, it was materialistic, and his feelings for Sanyukta should have been well above that... but he failed. He failed in this relationship.

Randhir felt his eyes fill up with tears as she cried in front of him.

"Despite all of this I have never loved Parth! He has been my greatest supporter, my companion through my darkest moments, but why - why is it that even for one moment I couldn't look at him in the way I looked at you? Why is it that I couldn't look away from you even once during these five years?" she sobbed, her grip around the collar of his shirt tightening, "Maybe... just maybe if I was able to look away from you, I would have seen him. Then I wouldn't suffer like this."

His heart broke into pieces when she said that - she suffered so much and Randhir knew, he knew that no matter what misunderstanding there was, his faith in her had not been enough. Even if she had lied to him, he had always known that she would never have cheated on him. He had asked her for proof of the child being his out of ego, but when he opened the report, he was heartbroken, his trust in her had faltered at that moment - and that was when their relationship had broken apart.

He had more faith in a piece of paper than he had in her, and the thought crushed him now.

"Sanyukta," he said firmly, grabbing her face and looking directly into her eyes. "I have never looked away from you either."

"Liar," she hissed, as tears fell from her eyes. "You had a physical relationship with Vidhushi."

"Never an emotional one," he whispered, stroking her cheek softly. "I'm sorry Sanyukta."

She looked up at him. They were two souls separated - she made the commitment that he had never made, while he took he the step that she had never taken. Both of them had given themselves to someone else. They were separated by distance, but destiny was forcing them to come back together, to close the gap between them, to balance out their differences.

"I loved you so much," she choked. "Randhir, I loved you a lot."

"So did I," he replied, wiping her tears again. "I loved you a lot too."

"I still love you," she whispered, pressing her face on his chest. "I still love you and I'm scared that I won't have the courage to let go anymore."

He stroked her hair gently as she continued to sob, her confession strangely calming down his inner demons. He knew she loved him, but hearing it come out of her mouth made his heart leap and his insides fill up with hope again.

"I still love you too Sanyukta," he replied, as tears fell out of his own eyes. "I won't give you a reason to let go now."

He meant every word of it. 

--

I just wanted to clear this up - this is not a fairytale romance. I'm trying to make the emotions and reactions in this story as realistic as possible, so if you're looking for a fairytale romance you won't find it here. Both Randhir and Sanyukta have flaws and it's going to continue to be this way!